Latest on MJJC

Goodnight Michael

Every night I lie awake,
wishing you were here,
a cut, a gash, across my chest,
from every single tear.

I can't help missing you,
when you're away,
I can't help thinking about you,
every single day.

I'm sorry that I love you,
I'm sorry that I care,
but I'm so truly sorry,
that I'm not always there.

It's not that I can't live without you,
It's that I don't even want to try,
this has got to be fate,
a secret, you and I.
 
PCR said:
"See you in July"

That's what you said.

"See you in February"

That's what I thougt.

"See it on the news..."

That's what they told me.

July has long gone. You were not there.
February is long to come. Chances are I might be there.

Tonight was the end of the dream we would have shared.

This can't be it, Michael. This can't be it.

I wish you were here to see the beutiful moon. Nothing to be scared about.

I love you most, Michael... but I learned too late.
Click to expand...

:cry:
 
Michael, I am tired.

I am really tired of all this.

I am tired of hiding my feelings, of pretending being well, while being broke inside.
I am tired of holding the tears on the subway, just to avoid making a scene... again.
I am tired of time going on so fast... but then so slow.
I am tired of the date below my avatar being used to point a finger to me.
I am tired of the haters.
I am tired of the fights.
I am tired of waiting for "things" to buy about you... instead of waiting for YOU to be on stage for me.
I am tired of hating myself for not getting my tickets on time.

And I am tired of missing you this bad. I am tired of longing for you. I am tired of being unable to understand my pain and my sorrow.

I am tired and I feel so sad. So, so sad...

I need some sleep. I need just one hug... and some rest from all this pain.
 
In My Dreams

You are the one in my dreams at night
You hold me in your arms so tight
Gently you caress my hair and face
The kiss of your lips I so vividly taste
Your smile it warms me up inside
No emotions you try to hide
When I wake I plainly see
You are not right here with me
Tonight, when I drift to sleepy land
It's you who will be there holding my hand
 
Goodnight Michael, I love you! I dont know what to do in my life anymore.. please help me through this. I'm still awake and I can't stop crying... I just can't handle this no more.
 
PCR said:
Michael, I am tired.

I am really tired of all this.

I am tired of hiding my feelings, of pretending being well, while being broke inside.
I am tired of holding the tears on the subway, just to avoid making a scene... again.
I am tired of time going on so fast... but then so slow.
I am tired of the date below my avatar being used to point a finger to me.
I am tired of the haters.
I am tired of the fights.
I am tired of waiting for "things" to buy about you... instead of waiting for YOU to be on stage for me.
I am tired of hating myself for not getting my tickets on time.

And I am tired of missing you this bad. I am tired of longing for you. I am tired of being unable to understand my pain and my sorrow.

I am tired and I feel so sad. So, so sad...

I need some sleep. I need just one hug... and some rest from all this pain.
Click to expand...

Beautiful but so sad. I know how you feel, I'm here for you.. I cant stop crying right now.. I'm in pain.. I dont want to live in a world without him..
 
PCR said:
Michael, I am tired.

I am really tired of all this.

I am tired of hiding my feelings, of pretending being well, while being broke inside.
I am tired of holding the tears on the subway, just to avoid making a scene... again.
I am tired of time going on so fast... but then so slow.
I am tired of the date below my avatar being used to point a finger to me.
I am tired of the haters.
I am tired of the fights.
I am tired of waiting for "things" to buy about you... instead of waiting for YOU to be on stage for me.
I am tired of hating myself for not getting my tickets on time.

And I am tired of missing you this bad. I am tired of longing for you. I am tired of being unable to understand my pain and my sorrow.

I am tired and I feel so sad. So, so sad...

I need some sleep. I need just one hug... and some rest from all this pain.
Click to expand...

I understand you and you have to know that I feel the same and I'm sure that many other fans feel like we do, so you're not alone in this, ok?
I'm tired too of having to hide my feelings about Michael and having to hold my tears when I'm with someone. I wish I could be alone forever so I could cry for Michael. I miss you... I miss you... Michael...
 
Tin Angel said:
I understand you and you have to know that I feel the same and I'm sure that many other fans feel like we do, so you're not alone in this, ok?
I'm tired too of having to hide my feelings about Michael and having to hold my tears when I'm with someone. I wish I could be alone forever so I could cry for Michael. I miss you... I miss you... Michael...
Click to expand...

You know what? I wish we could spend more time together, just talking about MJ and this pain. I mean in real life. But it's not possible. But as you say, there is also this strong need to be alone, just to mourn in our own private way. To cry if we want. To scream out of pain if we feel like. I have spent many, many nights just on my bed, crying silenty. I don't want people to be worried and I don't want anyone to put any single blame on MJ.

This is so difficult... and these are only the first months.... at times a feel a bit afraid of what's coming next. I am afraid to let go, for his memory is the only thing I can really hold on to.

OMG, this is bad :(
 
I feel exactly the same... I hope it gets easier - at the moment its all too painful. Its like there's a chunk of my life that's gone and will never be filled. And it bothers me a lot. I think about him and I cry all the time because nothing can bring him back. Even though he left so much for us, I can't stand the fact that he left so suddenly...without saying goodbye, without performing his shows, without meeting so many of his fans that wanted to see him. It just makes me so sad. I feel like I will always be in a perpetual state of sadness and nothing can help me..

I just miss him so much ..and now I'm crying again. :weeping:
 
yea i know :cry:

there's not a day that goes by without crying/bawling.
I can't get a break...
yes it hurts a LOT that there was no goodbye.
I remember i went really crazy and started blaming Mike becuase he never said goodbye.
and that i wish i never love him at all, i wanted to be ignorant against him because the pain is just too much.

i know it is all worth this pain but sometimes it really drives me crazy.
half the time I'm crawling on the ground. most times i wish i could just die.

it's like a battle wound, the bleeding may stop in time but the scar remains forever.
and every hit, every little bump, the pain comes back.
and it can easily be reopen.
 
*Billie Jean* said:
I feel exactly the same... I hope it gets easier - at the moment its all too painful. Its like there's a chunk of my life that's gone and will never be filled. And it bothers me a lot.
Click to expand...

Oh, dear.... How sad all this is... Is it only me or these last two weeks have been specially hard to bear? I don't know why, but this week was so difficult to me. I really cried so much and I don't mean that is any good.

I whish for the day I could think of MJ with a smile on my face. I know that is what he would like, for he only wanted to make us happy and I know he wouldn't be pleased to see our pain. But I am no able yet. Not yet.
 
We share our dreams
I come to yours
You belong in mine
A place for us meet

That is where we share
Hopes, dreams and wants
Walking, talking, being
Together in our dreams

Some days I long to sleep
To be with you again
Dreaming to be with you
Forever together where we belong

Each night to me you come
Fulfilling all my dreams
Hearts beating strong
Sweet love never ending

Embracing me within your arms
Hold me close, never stop
That is where I want to be
Deep inside our dreams
 
PCR said:
Oh, dear.... How sad all this is... Is it only me or these last two weeks have been specially hard to bear? I don't know why, but this week was so difficult to me. I really cried so much and I don't mean that is any good.

I whish for the day I could think of MJ with a smile on my face. I know that is what he would like, for he only wanted to make us happy and I know he wouldn't be pleased to see our pain. But I am no able yet. Not yet.
Click to expand...

I know how you feel.. I feel this way a lot lately. I can't stop crying. I'm probably going to suffer from it for the rest of my life. Yes, it's been a tough week for me this week. I've found myself feeling very sad thinking about Michael, its like I have gone backwards in the grieving process. Today, I was Christmas shopping and a sadness came over me, when I heard Christmas carols and I thought of Michael and how he loves/loved this time of the year. I thought of Michael's Children and how they will be spending Christmas without their darling Daddy. This is too sad! :weeping:
 
I had to come again to wish you goodnight and the most sweet dreams. You know at night if I wake up I catch myself starring at the Moon and Stars thinking of you and talking to you, like you can see me from above and hear my every word. At least I hope you can feel this love from down here. I love you, Michael... Remember me wherever you are. I miss you. :boohoo
 
Each night as I dream,
you are mine, or so it might seem.
For only at night can I see your face,
only in my dreams can my tears be replaced.
Only then can I see you holding me,
it seems so real, but only can it seem to be.
At night before my eyes close,
I pray for you, as the Lord knows.
And each night before I sleep,
I wonder how you got into my heart so deep.
But then it's perfect and we're both smiling,
yet why do I awake every morning crying?
I wonder why my dreams can't come true,
but better yet why I can't be with you.
 
Michael, you are a heart stealer. You've stolen my heart. Come back please and bring my heart with you, I can't live without you. I just can't. I still cry for you everyday. I can't seem to stop the tears. I love you so much and I want to be with you.. :weeping:

Goodnight and Sweet dreams my lovely one. Love you, always.
 
PCR said:
You know what? I wish we could spend more time together, just talking about MJ and this pain. I mean in real life. But it's not possible. But as you say, there is also this strong need to be alone, just to mourn in our own private way. To cry if we want. To scream out of pain if we feel like. I have spent many, many nights just on my bed, crying silenty. I don't want people to be worried and I don't want anyone to put any single blame on MJ.

This is so difficult... and these are only the first months.... at times a feel a bit afraid of what's coming next. I am afraid to let go, for his memory is the only thing I can really hold on to.

OMG, this is bad :(
Click to expand...

I wish so much we could do that too. I don't have anyone to be able to cry with.
I have this need to share my feelings for Michael to someone who understands me completely, like all fo you. :( It hurts that all of you are so far away. :(

I'm sending a HUGE HUG to all of you *Billie Jean*, MicHil, PCR and to the rest of the fans who are suffering. :huggy:
 
Tin Angel said:
It hurts that all of you are so far away. :(

I'm sending a HUGE HUG to all of you *Billie Jean*, MicHil, PCR and to the rest of the fans who are suffering. :huggy:
Click to expand...

Yes... it hurts.
Thank you, Internet!!!!!
Otherwise, I really don't know how I would deal with this pain :(
 
How sad.... today I was waiting for a book and some other stuff.

Things... things to... what? replacing HIM? taking HIS place?
So is this all about now? Just waiting here for any other unrelesed "thing" to be released? Is there any use in this? I was never a collector and now, suddenly, I feel the need to grasp, to touch, to hold on to something. A thing. Why? Why do I feel like this? And what's the use in this? All books and all videos in the world would never feel like his touch or his smile or the simple and precious fact of him being alive, for then, there would always be hope of a "future" sight, dance, smile, memory...

I wonder.... I just wonder what's next. Should I just let go? Should I just forget and be free from this pain? Is that possible?

Is that possible?

I just don't know anymore.
 
I was standing there
Waiting for you
I was sitting here
Wishing for you

You are my angel
You are my everything
The lord took you away from me
But you will always be mine

I love you
That will never change
Even if your not here
With me to stay

I wish you
could come back to me
I wish I could see you
Each and everyday

But now I know
You cannot be here
But I do know
I will always see you in my dreams
 
*Billie Jean* said:
Oh, Michael…..
I'm feeling very melancholy tonight! I can't stop crying.. I can't live without you. I love you and you are my true love. I miss your special smile... I love you and I will always love you. If my love could bring you back. I miss you so much and I cry everyday. I love you endlessly and desperately. The clouds are so dark and grey, the winter is cruel and harsh.. The lonely days never end, the nights are worse.:boohoo
I cry into my pillow asking the Lord to take me away. Last night you came into my dreams... you were in my arms and I hold you.. All I need is you, love. I love you endlessly. You are my world. Because you are the only one in the world who makes my heart swing of happiness when I see your smile or I hear your voice. I just can't stop loving you...
You're in a better place now, this world was too cruel for you!
Good night Michael!! I love you... I love you...
Click to expand...

aww I know how you feel it's awful isn't it i find myself crying & crying a lot the pain just seems to be getting worse & worse not better *sighs*

it hurts to know we'll never ever see him again

I've loved him for such a long time now he was such a huge part of my life for 23 of my 24 years thus far so I feel like a part of me has gone I'd give up absolutely everything literally just to have him back here

oh gosh now i think i'm gonna cry again oh dear :boohoo:
 
darklight said:
aww I know how you feel it's awful isn't it i find myself crying & crying a lot the pain just seems to be getting worse & worse not better *sighs*

it hurts to know we'll never ever see him again

I've loved him for such a long time now he was such a huge part of my life for 23 of my 24 years thus far so I feel like a part of me has gone I'd give up absolutely everything literally just to have him back here

oh gosh now i think i'm gonna cry again oh dear :boohoo:
Click to expand...

Oh, that just makes me want to cry. I don't want to live in a world where Michael isn't here...I feel so lonely without him, and I just want to cry all night..:weeping:
 
*Billie Jean* said:
Each night as I dream,
you are mine, or so it might seem.
For only at night can I see your face,
only in my dreams can my tears be replaced.
Only then can I see you holding me,
it seems so real, but only can it seem to be.
At night before my eyes close,
I pray for you, as the Lord knows.
And each night before I sleep,
I wonder how you got into my heart so deep.
But then it's perfect and we're both smiling,
yet why do I awake every morning crying?
I wonder why my dreams can't come true,
but better yet why I can't be with you.
Click to expand...
aww so sweet :boohoo:

PCR said:
How sad.... today I was waiting for a book and some other stuff.

Things... things to... what? replacing HIM? taking HIS place?
So is this all about now? Just waiting here for any other unrelesed "thing" to be released? Is there any use in this? I was never a collector and now, suddenly, I feel the need to grasp, to touch, to hold on to something. A thing. Why? Why do I feel like this? And what's the use in this? All books and all videos in the world would never feel like his touch or his smile or the simple and precious fact of him being alive, for then, there would always be hope of a "future" sight, dance, smile, memory...

I wonder.... I just wonder what's next. Should I just let go? Should I just forget and be free from this pain? Is that possible?

Is that possible?

I just don't know anymore.
Click to expand...

yeah I keep collecting MJ stuff more so now than ever (i always have but i seem to be doing a heck of a lot more now) I just feel so lost & empty without him i think it's just i wnat some kinda comfort to see him hear him around me everywhere I go

*Billie Jean* said:
Oh, that just makes me want to cry. I don't want to live in a world where Michael isn't here...I feel so lonely without him, and I just want to cry all night..:weeping:
Click to expand...

I know me neither it's terrible isn't it :boohoo: you know you can always talk to me anytime I'm happy to chat with you about MJ I'm happy to let you talk about how you're feeling maybe it'll help somewhat to talk about it with someone who is also deeply devastated by his death!

this world just feels so cold & empty now doesn't it without Michael :boohoo:
 
I've just woken up. My face was covered in tears. At firts I thought I was sweating, the heater was on. Then all of a sudden everything bumped into my head: 1:30 in the evening, the tv on, the hospital, what's happening with Michael!!!???, the BBC isn't confirming that he's dead... I'm on my knees... praying, for the first time in my life, "Oh God, please save him, please". Silence.
I've just had a terrible nightmare, I've just dreamt of 25th of June. Why? Why nearly 6 months later I'm still suffering? Why hasn't he come back? Michael... I don't even have to look at a photo, or listen to a song to be able to feel you in my heart, I know that you're inside me.
I don't want to cry anymore, I can't find a solution to this. I can't stand the pain that all of you are suffering too... I just feel so ... dead right now. I don't want to live the rest of my life just waiting for what you PCR have said. What, new CDs? A film? A DVD? I want to hear him laugh, I want to know that he's playing with his children, that he's happy... I would not want any new song, any new concerts, just his presence in this world is enough to make my whole life happy.
Michael... I've just realized how beautiful his name is.

Sorry if it doesn't make sense what I've written...
 
Tin Angel said:
I've just woken up. My face was covered in tears. At firts I thought I was sweating, the heater was on. Then all of a sudden everything bumped into my head: 1:30 in the evening, the tv on, the hospital, what's happening with Michael!!!???, the BBC isn't confirming that he's dead... I'm on my knees... praying, for the first time in my life, "Oh God, please save him, please". Silence.
I've just had a terrible nightmare, I've just dreamt of 25th of June. Why? Why nearly 6 months later I'm still suffering? Why hasn't he come back? Michael... I don't even have to look at a photo, or listen to a song to be able to feel you in my heart, I know that you're inside me.
I don't want to cry anymore, I can't find a solution to this. I can't stand the pain that all of you are suffering too... I just feel so ... dead right now. I don't want to live the rest of my life just waiting for what you PCR have said. What, new CDs? A film? A DVD? I want to hear him laugh, I want to know that he's playing with his children, that he's happy... I would not want any new song, any new concerts, just his presence in this world is enough to make my whole life happy.
Michael... I've just realized how beautiful his name is.

Sorry if it doesn't make sense what I've written...
Click to expand...

Your post makes complete sense, friend. I have dreamed of MJ a few times, some happy, some too painful. You are describing our feelings so right. I mean... it's been almost 6 months and our hearts are still bleeding and crying and hurt. How can you explain this? How can you recover from somenthing we can hardly understand? And there is no single solution but to wait and trust God. I do trust him, but still the pain is hard. I guess the only thing to do is ask Him to give us hope and to bring some peace to our hearts.

I still can't believe we are talking about this. About him not longer here. I simply can't believe it. Everytime I see a beutiful sunset, a beutiful flower or I ate something I love, I think... he used to enjoy so much all this... God... please give us hope. Please do.
 
Michael as I looked towards the stars tonight I can't help but think of you. You are the light that shines down upon us, the brightest star in the sky. Goodnight my beautiful angel. The world is a little darker since June 25th but the sky is that little bit brighter.
 
Ok.
Michael, i've tryed sleeping, but I just cant tonight, so thought i'd just come back on to say goodnight.
I just felt like I needed to say I love you, so very much.
Miss you always, love you for eternity.
Visit me in my dreams Michael.
Goodnight Angel.
xxx
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top