Beware folks, I have the feeling a rather long post is coming up. I guess it is true – the more things change, the more they stay the same. It is strange though to come back to this particular thread after June 25th. I meant to intervene a little earlier, but I got caught up in some other issues. I hope I'll remember all the things I wanted to write. As always with these kind of posts, they relate to all kinds of stuff, not necessarily to the exact previous line of thought.
During the last month I have had the priviledge to attend two public events celebrating Michael's life and work. On both ocassions – on his birthday and the Sunday before last -I felt an overwhelming sense of joy, hope, serenity, but above all love. I actually resent the word 'fan' because it comes from fanaticism and I like to think that isn't the proper word to describe my feelings towards Michael, but it certainly felt good to be among people of the same spirit sharing the admiration and the love for the man. What I loved most about both events was the diversity of the crowd, especially in terms of age – from toddlers to old folks. The most emotional moments which actually made me cry both times were related to 'Heal the world' when people were holding hands and dancing together in circle and singing the lyrics to the song. I felt those moments symbolized what Michael's life, struggle and example have always been about – caring about others, loving them and protecting this world we are leaving behind as legacy to our children and our grandchildren, and truth be told, we are leaving it in a rather wretched state.
Justus recalled earlier Michael's complexity and simplicity. Indeed, he was such a simple, yet complex man. He led a life most of us cannot begin to imagine – working 95% of it, being insanely famous for almost 80% of it, achieving so much and hurting so much. No other man in history has been this famous, this long, achieved as much or suffered as much in terms of their identity, innocence and work being questioned to the nth degree. It is no wonder the man kept manequins as friends, it is no wonder he could not relate to the ordinary joys of life like standing in line at the coffee shop, buying a lotto ticket or walking the dog in the park. In spite of living such an isolated life, he could express our inner most feelings and relate to that core which makes us all human no matter our race, age, gender, nationality or religion. He tapped into that fountain which makes human nature so beautiful – those honest, deep desires we all have no matter the longitude, the latitude or age of history we live in – what we basically all look for is unconditional love and a safe and serene environment in which to raise children and share life with those we love most, whilst also helping, when we can, those less fortunate than us. It is all so simple, isn't it? This actually reminds me of a great quote, whose author I unfortunately do not remember and it goes something like this –
people use complicated words to say complicated things when they should be using simple words to say complicated things. And in that spirit and recalling Heal the world which I mentioned earlier – are there any more sublime words than “
stop existing and start living?” Those five simple words have an entire philosophy of life behind them and demonstrate so exquisitely how simple and yet complex Michael was.
There are two other, maybe three issues on my mind right now as they pertain to this discussion. The first came about a few pages back and it deals with June 25th and the burdensome questions addressed to God. Although my faith in the Lord is steadfast, I must confess that I could not help but wonder why and especially why now? In my version of things he was supposed to be the post-modern day Job – after being tested in so many ways, the second part of his life would be even greater in rewards than the first. I foolishly believed that after the trial, he could do anything; if he had passed through that ordeal, nothing was impossible. He was supposed to get married a third and final time, for the first time before the Lord, have some kids trying to beat his dad's record, if not coming close to it....In my imagination he would put out a final pop album, an unplugged session and even an album featuring the most amazing national/regional artists (such as Xavier Naidoo in Germany or Adriano Celentano in Italy – both of whom are greatly talented, spiritually and socially aware men, as Michael) and then I 'saw' him witness his complete vindication before the entire world, him being an elder statesman not only of entertainment, but world affairs going around the world and lecturing about the state of the world. I saw all this for many decades to come and I would have given all of it if only he could have lived peacefully away from the prying eyes of the world together with his three little angels. I've probably went through every stage of grieving since late June, from denial to acceptance, except for maybe anger. I am saddened by the capacity of man to hurt fellow man, but I cannot feel angry. The only option I have is to trust God – He knows everything and I don't. We now see partially and probably can't see the forrest because of the trees, but one day all will be revealed.
A few days ago I discovered a very special performance of Ben
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U36DO_nrJeA I don't know about yall, but my heart was shred to pieces when looking at that little boy's face, I saw such incomprehensible melancholy, sorrow and deep sadness that I just wished I could pull him out of the screen and give him a hug. I cannot begin or even dare to imagine what was taking place before or after that performance. And this is what hurts the most – that wonderful man which had suffered soooo much from such a tender age was so dreadfully alone. We all want and deserve true love in our lives, but boy did this kid deserve it more than any? I can only hope that Michael indeed found complete (intelectual, spiritual and physical) love in someone before his departure, otherwise it wouldn't have been fair. Someone he could sing to something like Adriano Celentano's “L'emozione non ha voce” (emotion doesn't have a voice)....
You can listen to this wonderful song here
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZrkXI2P1qIk
And the translation courtesy of Google, with a tiny bit of help goes something like this:
I can not speak of love,
emotion has no voice
And I lack a little breathing
if you're near, there's too much light
My soul spreads
as music summer
then you know the urge takes me
and comes on with your kisses
I with you will be very honest
I'll remain what I am
Dishonest never, I swear
but if you betray, I won't forgive
I will be forever your friend,
even jealous as you know
I know I contradict myself
but precious are you to me
Sleep in my arms
peacefully
it is important that you know
for us to feel fully us
Give me another life
I do not know
thou shalt be my companion
until I know that you will want it
Two different characters
are easily ignited
but divided we lost
we feel almost nothing
We are tied together by
a love that gives us
the deep conviction
that no one will divide us
Sleep in my arms
peacefully
it is important that you know
for us to feel fully us
Give me another life
I do not know
thou shalt be my companion
till you want
then we'll live as you know
only with sincerity
love and trust,
then it will be what it will be
Chorus:
Sleep in my arms
peacefully
it is important that you know
for us to feel fully us
Fully us uhu uhu
I loove the line 'se ci sei, c'e tropa luce' (if u're near there's too much light), I think it sooo poetic, so beautiful and so raw.
I really hope Michael knew how beautiful he was and how loved he was. Whenever I see that sea of people underneath his hotel window in Will you be there, I can't help but feel both proud and sad. Proud that he could summon such love and attention from people, but sadness that he was all alone. Lord only knows if Michael found earthly love, but I hope at least now we will listen to his message. After all, LOVE IS HIS MESSAGE
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g3bjqcceU5Q He already said so long ago :happy:
P.S. Sorry again about the length of the post and congrats to the brave souls who ventured into it. Hugs and love to everyone and to those of you still struggling to listen to Michael's music...take all the time you need, in the end you will see you can make it through the songs with a smile on your face. :yes:
