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Today, Monday July 13th...

God. Michael was supposed to be onstage right now at this moment.

I had known that there would be no way for me to resist seeing clips and stories and pictures, so planned to either stay up all night or get up early in the morning. Imagine how excited we'd have been right now. How excited we were supposed to be right now. It was supposed to be such a wonderful night. I still can't believe it. It hurts so ****ing bad. Everytime I think my mind has really gotten it, I find myself back to the horrible "it's not real" feeling. We were to be there in August, but this was the big, big night for everywone. For Michael, for his kids, for every one of us, for the world.

:cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry:
 
They're showing the O2 right now on CNN! Hi you guys!!!! :wave: Sweet. They said, "hundreds, maybe thousands of fans". I wish I was there right now as well.
 
i know the feeling.........just when i think i might be starting to get my head round it it hits me again or feels so unreal
 
it is hitting hard... so hard... i am gonna go out to try to get my mind off of it,as this is one of the worst and most depressing days since the agony of Michael's death started...

please try to cheer up, guys... much love... :(
 
Big (((hugs))) to you all. I desperately want to stay on this site tonight for comfort but the connection keeps kicking me off. I still feel so devastated by Michael's death (I can barely say that word 'cos I just don't want to believe it) and today has made it hit home all over again. :(
 
I wish I could have been there today...and it's been such a sad day as this should have been the day that we were all celebrating Michael's return to the top.

Now he's everywhere in the media for an all too different reason.

August 1st will also be a bad day for me as that's when I would have been going to see him.

I'll have the ticket and some merchandise, but never again the chance to spend some time in his company.

Oh no! I've started blubbing again!!!!
 
Remember The Time...29/09/1988 Leeds Roundhay Park....

i do remember the time, i was there too
 
I keep trying to figure out a way to accept what has happened. maybe there is a God and He knew Michael wouldn't be able to do the tour properly because of his health, then He took him away before the world coud make him suffer again.
 
It was right now.. On THIS moment.. At the O2.. That I was going to see him.. Right now I was going to be in London, together with all his fellow fans.. You guys.... :cry:
 
yep Niemand that is what i think.....................i firmly believe in God and He must have had a reason......................we may never know it

still very difficult to accept no matter what your faith and belief
 
Niemand said:
I keep trying to figure out a way to accept what has happened. maybe there is a God and He knew Michael wouldn't be able to do the tour properly because of his health, then He took him away before the world coud make him suffer again.
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There is a God....

it was just time for Michael to leave us....he don't have to put up with the media crap anymore....and he'll watching over his children...
 
Deniro UK said:
Today is gonna be one of those days where what happened really does hit home
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True. I think is going to be a long road for us since he was scheduled to tour the rest of this year and a few months into next year. We would be all giddy now now we are all in a haze trying to deal with such a great loss.
 
Tonight at midnight my best friend is coming over to my house and we are going to have an M.J dance party and sleepover in my living room. She is not a fan of his other then liking some of his music, but she is here for me, and for that I love her. Do something that'll make you happy guys. I guarantee it'll pick you up. I went into the LOL topic and was instantly cheered up. Mike would want to see us celebrate.
 
Tinny, you're absolutley right.

I've started to write songs again. I just don't wanna throw my dreams away...I mean, Michael was the reason why I started years ago. I should get back to where I left off. It's just hurts that I'll never be able to share my thoughts and inspiration with the man who gave me this desire. I still cry, esp when I'm alone at night...I still can't grasp this whole thing...not Michael...not Michael.

But you're right, I'm going to make all my dreams come true and try my hardest to not let the pain get the best of me. You're dreams will always live on, they're just a little less meaningful though to me now.

Bless you Mike, I'll always hold you as my the keeper of my dreams.
 
i shud be uploading pics from the concert right now and chatting about how fuckin awesome it was and ugh! life sux :( :cry:
 
Im at my dads now and in my room here, i have all my mj vhs tapes......I dont wanna look at them...or i'll start crying :cry:
 
I spent two days figuring out how to post a countdown timer to the 1st concert. I feel so sad. Maybe it's a good thing in that he's always with us. It's a new concert in our life.
 
mjbunny said:
That's what I plan to do tonight as well.

Same here. It happens at some point almost every day. I still feel like "we're going to London in August!" and then.... oh, we're not.
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The worse part for me is ,no one who lives with me can't feel my pain, I'm all alone here left to grieve with you guys. I have tried to go out and do other things but I still think of MJ constantly. It's like I would rather sleep to keep me from feeling the pain.
I have meds prescribed legally by my doctor to help me get through but it's tough. So, sorry guys, I just needed to get that out.
 
Mjalwaysonmymind, You are not alone..WE ALL ARE HERE FOR YOU! :hug:
 
mjalwaysonmymind said:
The worse part for me is ,no one who lives with me can't feel my pain, I'm all alone here left to grieve with you guys. I have tried to go out and do other things but I still think of MJ constantly. It's like I would rather sleep to keep me from feeling the pain.
I have meds prescribed legally by my doctor to help me get through but it's tough. So, sorry guys, I just needed to get that out.
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I know what you mean. I feel the same way. I feel very lonely in my sorrow over MJ and sometimes I can't focus on what I'm doing because of it and would rather go to sleep instead...

But you know what cheers me up sometimes..thinking about his children. They are his real legacy. I was browsing through the MJ Funny videos on youtube and one of them had a clip of Mike from the Private Home Movies where towards the end when he's about to show footage of his kids he says..(paraphrasing) "You have seen clips of my life and my work..but this is truly what I'm most proud of (referring to his kids". And you could feel it in his voice. Knowing that his three children are doing well and that they are safe and sound with their grandmother really makes me feel that everything is going to be ok. Even if MJ ain't around..the thing that he was "working" on and trying to perfect...his children..is alive and well with a promising future. And so through his kids..MJ will continue to dance in this world...
 
Everytime I listen to YOU ARE NOT ALONE (which is a lot lately), it seems as if Michael is singing the song to me and telling that I am not alone because he is here with me in Spirit. It is such a strange, but spiritual phenom I am going through right now.

I don't think I will ever stop loving Michael. I will never stop thinking about him. Until the day I die, I will always love him. And I look forward to seeing him in heaven with God. I will just have to come to grips with this fact and get used to living my life in a world that does not include Michael. He was in this world when I was born and now he has left me. Lord......I must go on. My time will come one day.
 
The wind was fantastic today. My mom went, "Oh wow! This is like SUCH a windy day!"


And all I could think was..."it's him, mom, he's dancing for us in the clouds...."
 
I spent the whole day today and yesterday and the 8th of july (it was when I was to leave to go to london to kick off the vaCA of a lifetime) talking to myself thinking what I WOULD have been doing at this point in time had this not have happened.

I thought I would finally see this GREAT and WONDERFUL man in person. But that will never happen. I used to be in a good place in life esp. in the past two months and now it just got turned upside down. My mind has been playing nasty tricks on me because of this. I hate how this just threw my life off track and has me asking "why?"

I never understood why ppl would question "why me" or "why him" etc. until now.

Earlier today I cried and wasn't doing to well but as I got busy doing house work I got a bit better. I watched michael on youtube, the rehearsal vid and michael chewing gum watching auditions (I love that vid lol) and it made me smile. I hate too keep being so angry with the world and staying angry isn't gonna bring him back and I don't need to hurt others around me. I'm trying not to be angry at others or be distant (family), anymore. But I still feel angry, or sad sometimes (it creeps up on me), however as today progressed on and after watching michael on youtube and then coming to mjjc I feel better now. I just have to take each day as it comes. It will never be normal for me like it used to be, But hopfully I can at least be happy again someday. Hopefully!!!

I kept saying today..at such and such time "I shoulda been doing this....in london"
I would give up michael ever performing again if he could just be alive and here on earth again. Thats all I want now! SIGH!




I ramble badly on this one...sorry guys.
 
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