Tombstone Reads: Calm Amidst the Storm
Posted by Jen
I have taken it upon myself to write something of a ‘mini article’ just addressing the particular rumor that surfaced all over the internet today. As a pre-cursor to my actually beginning a full column soon enough, I thought perhaps I’d flex my chops a little and get out something that has bugged me all day. Now, as Undertaker fans we are certainly no stranger to the good ole ‘Retirement Rumors’. I believe he has been in the process of retiring for about ten years now which is an epic achievement by itself. The worlds first ever induction into the Hall of Fame purely on ‘Longest Retirement Ever’ grounds. Come on, you know how sarcastic I am by now guys! Dont take me so seriously.
At any rate. We’re used to this, it’s no shock. Every couple of months someone pops up somewhere on the great wide interwebs and claims they know for sure that ‘Taker is retiring on ‘X date’ for ‘X reason’. This is old hat, we should read these rumors and by this time just be leaping into a complete state of apathy. However, that being said; We do know the time must come one day. As sad and as heartbreaking as that shall be for everyone that loves him (and I’m sure there will be parties thrown worldwide for those people that can finally say ‘HEY! I was RIGHT!’). We know it’s coming. When? That’s anybodies guess. Hopefully not soon but by the same token as a human being as well as a fan if physically this job is no longer the correct one for him, I welcome the day he bows out. As long as the man himself is alive and well that’s just fine by me. It’ll be sad to see him go, but rather bow out on top than fade away. Right?
However. This is a very big
however. All of that notwithstanding I think I speak for everyone when I say ‘PLEASE.. let the madness END!’… if people insist on leaping all over his every limp with retirement rumors I swear soon I’ll be going on my own Rest In Peace tour. Door to door. I’m not joking. Mayank you’re first
. Let’s just take a quick look at the facts we know today, shall we?
So the WWE announced a ‘Rest In Peace’ tour for next April. Oh the ambiguity of it all. He’s only been saying “Rest In Peace” since the very early 90’s. Longest retirement ever and no mistake. However yes, it does sound a little suspect. Is it his time? Maybe. Maybe not. Why maybe not? Because to coincide with the “Rest in Peace” tour, there has also been announced, for RAW, the “DX Invasion” tour. So, by this logic that would tell us that either Taker, Shawn and Hunter are
all retiring next April. OR, it’s just a clever snappy name for what is basically just another European tour. Hmm? For all we know, Taker will be the Champion by then! I’m tapping the side of my head here and winking. I haz a smart.
So please, folks. Put down the pitchforks. Step away from the edge of the bridge. Breathe calmly. Yes, his time will come one day and if it’s next April, so be it. But in a year a lot can happen. In a year plans change. I mean come on, it’s just a name. While on the subject of retirements, look how well Ric Flairs has worked for him so far. Ha! Need I say more. On that note I tip my hat and bow out. Have a nice day.