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How should a MJ fan behave, is it wrong to be too fanatic?

^ Respect brings on actions

Have you ever respected someone to the point you changed yourself for it?? If not, many people do.. You want to please that person to the point you fit yourself in this position that you feel like THAT INDIVIDUAL wants..


THAT is disrespecting yourself..


I'll give a little analogy.. Lets say you have a really mean/abusive dad.. He comes home, and you straighten right up, start 'yes sir'ing everything he wants to not be on his bad side.. Putting your own emotions aside..

Might not be the best analogy, but it was the first that came to my mind.
 
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Well in the case of your analogy, even though you said it wasn't the best, I see that as acting out of fear, not respect.

You can respect someone without changing who you are for them. That's not the definition of respect in my eyes. Respect is when you lend sympathy, compassion and a willingness to at least try and understand to someone, and not treat them as an inferior or as though they are less then what they are.
 
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If you are a self confident person, then you will be yourself at all times and not what you think someone else will want you to be.

And the analogy is not a good one KOPV because you speak of someone taking a defensive posture to avoid harm.

If you admire someone, and you are secure with yourself, then you will simply be yourself around that person.

That's not to say that a person won't get overly excited and say and do things without regard as to how it makes them look to others or to the person you admire, but changing yourself to fit what you think would be acceptable to someone you admire is not being yourself.

Unless its changing something about yourself that you know needs changing.
 
mello1 said:
If you are a self confident person, then you will be yourself at all times and not what you think someone else will want you to be.

And the analogy is not a good one KOPV because you speak of someone taking a defensive posture to avoid harm.

If you admire someone, and you are secure with yourself, then you will simply be yourself around that person.

That's not to say that a person won't get overly excited and say and do things without regard as to how it makes them look to others or to the person you admire, but changing yourself to fit what you think would be acceptable to someone you admire is not being yourself.

Unless its changing something about yourself that you know needs changing.
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Good post, mello! :)

And it's called being honest and real if you stay the way you are around everyone. I mean, what good would it bring to someone anyways to fake being different than what they are....it is never going to work in the long run anyways. Like, let's say you meet Michael. And you do everything you can to act the way you THINK would please Michael. But if that's not who you are...it's gonna come out sooner or later. And as soon as MJ is gonna find out you were fake....you think he will be pleased? Don't think so. And actually the same thing vice versa. Just a thought.
 
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If I met Michael, what in my eyes would be respectful towards him wouldn't be acting how I would think he would want me to but simply treating him as he would wanted to be treated, as a normal human being with the same needs as everyone else.
 
RESPECT
1. To feel or show deferential regard for; esteem.
2. To avoid violation of or interference with: respect the speed limit.
3. To relate or refer to; concern.


Many times the ACT of respect comes through from fear.. Fear of imbarrasment, fear of not fitting in, fear of acceptance, fear of whatever..



If you read one of my first posts in this thread you may know a little more of where I am coming from..

When you RESPECT someone so much, sometimes you will disrespect someone else as an effect.. Now that SOMEONE else may be the WRONG someone else.. Be it your parents, your wife, your children, yourself... Whoever..


You cannot respect EVERYONES opinions and thoughts at the same time. You can respect the fact they have different opinions, but not the opinion itself...


Has no one ever stood up against someone in a dis-respectful way because you respect someone else more?? Like a friend being told off to by the teacher, and you TOLD the teacher off, putting yourself in suspension too???
 
And to the "If you admire someone, and you are secure with yourself, then you will simply be yourself around that person." comment


I find that as idealy great, but not true in real life.. Have we not dressed a specific way, act a specific way, be a specific way because we are afraid of breaking social norm??


With the way that sentance is put out, then we all would have no fear anyones opinions on anything.. We would have no reason to argue about anything, debates would be pointless, clothing styles would not exhists, plastic surgury, groups, clicks, all that would disapear..

LIFE is full of people that are insecure in some fassion.. EVERYONE is.. So NO1 is off limits to changing themselves for someone else. in SOME WAY..




INFACT the more secure someone appears in themselves the more of a rebal they appear... That's how UN-NORMAL it is.


Not saying it's right, but true..
 
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Many times the ACT of respect comes through from fear.. Fear of imbarrasment, fear of not fitting in, fear of acceptance, fear of whatever..
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That's compliance, not respect. Doing something out of fear isn't doing it out of high regard and admiration for something or someone, it's doing it for fear of your own well being. In the other two definitions given from the dictionary, respect means treating others as they want to be treated, not degrading them or showing disregard for them and their feelings or view points. The term respect in relation to law abiding is really done so to example the word meaning not doing anything which would step on or show little regard for something. Most people follow the law out of fear, not respect. They are two different things. They are using the term in an ideal context, assuming people follow the law out of a high regard or high opinion of it.

The example of opinion doesn't really work either because you can disagree with someone on a point without belittling their views or putting it down as stupid, and that's showing respect, even if you disagree.
 
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well wannabe, I RESPECT your opinion on this matter but I disagree.. ;)

We don't disagree often, but this time I do..

look at the second definition of RESPECT..
2. To avoid violation of or interference with: respect the speed limit


there is a difference between respect and having a great liking to something.

and FEAR itself has many defintions..

If you did not FEAR, you would not care about anything.. you would not respect, love, spend time, or do anything positive.. FEAR is good and bad.. depends on what eye you're looking out of..

That does not mean ALL good things comes out of fear.. NO!! But many great things come out of fear..


RESPECT in the same way.. Fear is just often used in modern text and language as a negitive term.. But it's not JUST a negitive term.
 
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Well I'm not talking about liking something, I'm talking about holding it in high regard, meaning, even if you don't agree with it or follow it, you still understand it or feel sympathy and compassion for it. You don't have to relate to or like something in order to respect it. You have to be accepting of it, value it and, in the least, be sypmathetic towards it though.

Being afraid and acting out of that fear isn't born out of respect for whatever is causing that fear, it's born out of a desire to keep yourself in tact and either thinking or knowing that if you don't comply, you will pay the price.
 
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^ How can someone be sympathetic without being afraid of what would happen to that something or someone..

If you don't fear you cannot have sympathy.. You simply would not CARE..


OK.. I am enjoying this debate about it, but it's not the topic anymore.. I don't want to ruin the thread for other fans that just want to talk about MJ.. lol!

If we keep going at it, it WONT be about Mike anymore..

I'm enjoying it though... It's fun debating with you wannabe..

we're alike in a lot of ways.. So we'll agree, agree, agree, then disagree.. but that's fun to me..
 
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Being concerned for someones well being isn't the same as being afraid OF them, lol. The definition of sympathy is understanding a position or situation and acknowledging it, even if you yourself can not empathize with it.
 
FEAR is not just being afraid of that individual.. Do you have stage fright?? that's fear... Do you worry about what happens to your family when they do something 'stupid'?? that's fear.. You CARE through fear, and you fear through caring..


In the Bible it says We're supposed to even fear God.. that does not mean be afraid of him..
 
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The examples you've given though use fear for ones well being as an example of making personal sacrifices out of respect. But that's not respect, that's compliance, which was my original point. Fear can cause you to care, but what form of care that is, is dependent on what causes it. If it is fear which causes you to care, then it is because you are afraid of losing something, being targeted, laughed at, outcast, not because you respect anything. If you care out of love for someone or something, then that would be because you respect it, not because you're afraid of it somehow harming you.
 
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You simply have a different definition of fear as me.. I see what your saying, but I see the word fear as much larger word than the modern day text/language uses it..


Take this second definiton in the dictionary of fear: To avoid violation of or interference with: respect the speed limit


Now, if you did not fear getting a ticket, getting in an accedent, hurting someone, or simply not having any NEGITIVE results.. WHY would you 'respect' the speed limit???
 
Respect means holding something in high regard or having understanding for it. They are using the term respect in this manner, with the assumption that one would follow the speed limit because they understand why it is in place, for their own safty, not because they fear getting a speeding ticket.
 
^ But what I am saying is WHY would you hold it in 'high regards'...
 
Because you have respect for it, lol. If you understand that its in place for your own well being, because you understand, even if you don't like it, that it's there for your benifit, etc... It's being able to treat something or someone with dignity and acceptence and understanding.
 
LOL! when I read the first words.. "because you have respect for it." I laughed...

I understand what your saying, I really do.. maybe I'm not painting the best picture of what I am trying to explain..

My analogies, and metaphors are not working well either.. lol!! I keep thinking of more, but I don't think it's going to make u get what I'm saying.. I feel like laughing.. IDK why. Not at you.. Just cuz I am trying to say something, but it's not being heard the way I hear it in my mind..
 
^ Ya it happens to the best of us..

we have this perfect picture in our head.. But then it comes out so wrong in the creative process of explaining it..



Just have to remind ourselves we're smart and go on.. lol!
 
Yup. It's frustrating as can be though! It's like, you KNOW what you mean, but you can't find the words. That's why artists are important. They take what we know, or don't know, but what is a truth which we can't express, and they turn it in to something tangible, that we all can see or hear.
 
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^ Yes... but I would like to add, just to keep some other mouths shut.. lol

(Not u wannabe cuz I know u know where this will come from)

Artists have the same issue aswell.. With SO MUCH ideas rushing the brain it takes a lot of TIME to orginize them and release them in an artistic way that people can appreciate..


So for those who keep complaining about Mikes album taking SO long.. 2 YEARS... SHUSH!! lol! :rofl:
 
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In a degree, yeah. If you become a fan of someone so much that it runs your life, that's a problem but as long as you love him in a way where you can respect him faults and all then no it's not a problem.
 
wannabestartinsomthin21 said:
Well I'm not talking about liking something, I'm talking about holding it in high regard, meaning, even if you don't agree with it or follow it, you still understand it or feel sympathy and compassion for it. You don't have to relate to or like something in order to respect it. You have to be accepting of it, value it and, in the least, be sypmathetic towards it though.

Being afraid and acting out of that fear isn't born out of respect for whatever is causing that fear, it's born out of a desire to keep yourself in tact and either thinking or knowing that if you don't comply, you will pay the price.
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Why does the fear of GOD come to mind.:angel:
 
respect his faults or acknowledge them, timmy? lol fandom has it's pros and its cons....the ultimate can see both positive and negative in the situation cuz the only thing constant is the fact that there are always positives and negs in a situation
 
soso def said:
respect his faults or acknowledge them, timmy? lol fandom has it's pros and its cons....the ultimate can see both positive and negative in the situation cuz the only thing constant is the fact that there are always positives and negs in a situation
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Ha, I thought they were one and the same, Katie. :lol:
 
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