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Damn me and my shyness

Staffordshire Bullterrier said:
Well i have a nice little update for ya'll, and it's sure to make you laugh, even i do .

So in the evening i went to the shop again, cause last saturday is when i saw her in the evening. I went into the shop and i thought she wasn't working, i didn't see her straight away. I decided to buy some juice, LOL...it's never a bad thing to have enough to drink you know.

Then i went to the counters and pretty soon i saw it was her, but i just wasn't sure what the hell to say.....i actually was so goddamn nervous inside..not funny anymore, lol. So i just stared a few times at her, and smiled , greeted and that was that. I went home..and i was like...goddamn you man, you absolutely haven't got yourself anywhere now....no name, no nothing.

As crazy as it is...i went back..and i bought two things, where i was sure of that i could ask a receat for or that she would offer one.(so that i at least would have her name...it's a start) a magazine and some cookies....
So i went to that same counter again..and i smiled and said 'Haha, did i almost forgot the cookies' which is of course a flat out...lie? LOL! i said
have a nice weekend to her , she did too..and that was it.

I know for sure now that she only works on saturdays, since i didn't see her at all last week...i also didn't see a nametag on her jacket...neither do i have that at my work. Simply because i have a temporary contract, so that makes sense. But it sucks though...it would have been good if she had worked there a few days in the week..so i could see her more and say more things each day.....at least i said something to her instead of nothing, like basically every customer does.

I am afraid i am in love with her...even though i don't know ANYTHING about her. But i feel exactly like i did when i saw my first girlfriend for the first time...that exact same feeling.And neither did know her at that time yet, It's pretty obvious that she's more than a 'nice girl i was just impressed with' otherwise i wouldn't have gone to the place every day...hahahaa.

But damn...what's next.
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Either you'll be able to jump over your own shadow or you'll buy things there still when you'll be 80+.
Please know the statistics say again and again that 85% women PREFER guys who are able to go for what they want.
Nope you don't have to do it a perfectly selfconfident or macho way... you can do it with all shyness and stupidity being in love produces often... but you have to show what she and what love means to you... overcome what's in your way.
See now please answer me that one always true question... what is it exactly what you have to lose?
And even if there seems to be something you think you have to lose... then think further and ask yourself if whatever it is, it really is more precious than a happy love relationship?
:cheeky:
 
what i would do ,is buy a nice bunch of flowers,go in the shop as usual,and buy something,and if she is there where she serves you,say oh i saw these flowers and i thought of you,here these are for you,in my opinion receiving flowers of a member of the oppisite sex is very romantic,and i think she will be very impressed,don,t think it is being to forward,
i,ll tell you a short story about when i first met my husband,and what his first line was,it will make you laugth.
i met my husband whilst on holiday in turkey,i am from the u.k ,my husband is turkish,he used to work on the beach wher i used to go,as a waiter,
anyway he comes up to me and my sister,and says that my back is burning with the sun,and says shall i rub some suncream on your back,anyway he gets the sun cream and is rubbing it all over me,the first time we ever met,

so if you think,by walking into a shop and offering a pretty girl some flowers is overboard,just think of my story,you can,t get more overboard than that,we have now been married for 14yrs,

the funny thing is now,i could sit in the sun for hours and be burnt to a frazzle,
and there is no sign of any suncream,

well thats marriage for you.
 
Aw, sweet thread! I'm also an extremely shy person! I find it really hard to make conversation with people I don't really know. It's awful, because like you say you don't want to be quiet and you want to talk, but you sort of freeze up. I really hate that about myself, and when I was younger used to get quite upset about it. But, you have to just bite the bullet and I really do feel like I'm getting more confident as I get older. I am 21 now.

Bless you going into the supermarket like that! If I were you, I would try to focus on girls other than her too. I know you really like her and that's great, but I think you should relax about her and look around other places too, then you might find it easier to talk to her if you know what I mean? Also, I don't wanna be a downer on this but there is the possibility she has a boyfriend or even husband? Of course you should still try though, you'll never know unless you ask! I guess what I'm trying to say is try not to fall for her too much until you know the situation more, I would hate for you to get hurt. I wish you all the luck though, you seem like you are coming a long way! :happy:
 
man.in.the.mirror said:
what i would do ,is buy a nice bunch of flowers,go in the shop as usual,and buy something,and if she is there where she serves you,say oh i saw these flowers and i thought of you,here these are for you,in my opinion receiving flowers of a member of the oppisite sex is very romantic,and i think she will be very impressed,don,t think it is being to forward,
i,ll tell you a short story about when i first met my husband,and what his first line was,it will make you laugth.
i met my husband whilst on holiday in turkey,i am from the u.k ,my husband is turkish,he used to work on the beach wher i used to go,as a waiter,
anyway he comes up to me and my sister,and says that my back is burning with the sun,and says shall i rub some suncream on your back,anyway he gets the sun cream and is rubbing it all over me,the first time we ever met,

so if you think,by walking into a shop and offering a pretty girl some flowers is overboard,just think of my story,you can,t get more overboard than that,we have now been married for 14yrs,

the funny thing is now,i could sit in the sun for hours and be burnt to a frazzle,
and there is no sign of any suncream,

well thats marriage for you.
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Haha, well it's a good idea but i'm not sure yet what i'll do. First i'll go to the store a few more times next week, not as much as last week...but i mean..i've only been there for one week everyday, who knows..she might have had the week off or was just not feeling well. My bro did say he saw her working there more than just only on saturday...that's why i can't be sure yet about that.

There are also other ways....

1-I could call the shop next saturday and just do exactly the same as with my first girlfriend...get her on the phone and ask her out. Back then, it was already a week after i saw her for the first time, without any talking...so in that case it shouldn't matter much....but i personally don't like this one much.

2-I could go there next saturday and saw something friendly, a compliment if you will..and then slip a note into her hands, where it basically says if she would like to go for a walk with me or get something to drink.

I'd only do this because i hate the fact that there'll be customers behind me....i just don't like that, lol.

3-Since i now have her name (well if the receat is correct) i could ask a worker there when she'll be working.Then i at least know that.


And even though you told me that story...personally i find flowers alittle too personal. I remember all too well that i bought my first gf flowers after our first meeting, which was a few days before that. And we walked and talked, also the first kiss on that same evening/night...a few days later i sent her flowers.
That's why a note might be better...simply asking her for a drink or for a walk in the park, so that you see eachother and can talk without any customers and stuff around you...that way gettnig to know eachother alittle better :)
 
man.in.the.mirror said:
what i would do ,is buy a nice bunch of flowers,go in the shop as usual,and buy something,and if she is there where she serves you,say oh i saw these flowers and i thought of you,here these are for you,in my opinion receiving flowers of a member of the oppisite sex is very romantic,and i think she will be very impressed,don,t think it is being to forward,
i,ll tell you a short story about when i first met my husband,and what his first line was,it will make you laugth.
i met my husband whilst on holiday in turkey,i am from the u.k ,my husband is turkish,he used to work on the beach wher i used to go,as a waiter,
anyway he comes up to me and my sister,and says that my back is burning with the sun,and says shall i rub some suncream on your back,anyway he gets the sun cream and is rubbing it all over me,the first time we ever met,

so if you think,by walking into a shop and offering a pretty girl some flowers is overboard,just think of my story,you can,t get more overboard than that,we have now been married for 14yrs,

the funny thing is now,i could sit in the sun for hours and be burnt to a frazzle,
and there is no sign of any suncream,

well thats marriage for you.
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That's such a lovely story - it made my morning, I'm sitting here grinning now :D When you next go into that shop and see her, flash her a great big smile, no matter how nervous you are. Even if she doesn't see you doing it, you'll feel happier for it and it'll help you to feel positive about the situation and hopefully give you more confidence to go up and talk to her properly. The flowers idea is a good one, but perhaps not on the 3rd time of meeting her - i don't know. I wouldn't mind receiving some though, would be incredibly flattered, so maybe it would be fine! :cheeky:

StaceyMJ said:
Aw, sweet thread! I'm also an extremely shy person! I find it really hard to make conversation with people I don't really know. It's awful, because like you say you don't want to be quiet and you want to talk, but you sort of freeze up. I really hate that about myself, and when I was younger used to get quite upset about it. But, you have to just bite the bullet and I really do feel like I'm getting more confident as I get older. I am 21 now.

Bless you going into the supermarket like that! If I were you, I would try to focus on girls other than her too. I know you really like her and that's great, but I think you should relax about her and look around other places too, then you might find it easier to talk to her if you know what I mean? Also, I don't wanna be a downer on this but there is the possibility she has a boyfriend or even husband? Of course you should still try though, you'll never know unless you ask! I guess what I'm trying to say is try not to fall for her too much until you know the situation more, I would hate for you to get hurt. I wish you all the luck though, you seem like you are coming a long way! :happy:
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Focussing on other girls is a good idea as it'll make you feel more relaxed whether with this girl or not. Don't let the idea that she may have someone else, or that she may not fancy you put you down. Carry on trying - as Stacey said you'll never know unless you ask. It seems like she's a saturday girl, so make sure that you're there next saturday and if the shop's relatively quiet (i know, perhaps a little unlikely for a saturday but still) then strike up a conversation! Have a few things in mind before you start too, that often helps :)
 
blue_eyed_belle said:
That's such a lovely story - it made my morning, I'm sitting here grinning now :D When you next go into that shop and see her, flash her a great big smile, no matter how nervous you are. Even if she doesn't see you doing it, you'll feel happier for it and it'll help you to feel positive about the situation and hopefully give you more confidence to go up and talk to her properly. The flowers idea is a good one, but perhaps not on the 3rd time of meeting her - i don't know. I wouldn't mind receiving some though, would be incredibly flattered, so maybe it would be fine! :cheeky:



Focussing on other girls is a good idea as it'll make you feel more relaxed whether with this girl or not. Don't let the idea that she may have someone else, or that she may not fancy you put you down. Carry on trying - as Stacey said you'll never know unless you ask. It seems like she's a saturday girl, so make sure that you're there next saturday and if the shop's relatively quiet (i know, perhaps a little unlikely for a saturday but still) then strike up a conversation! Have a few things in mind before you start too, that often helps :)
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Personally i do think she sees something in me, cause when i saw her yesterday the first time, i saw her staring at me again, and her face almost looked a bit surprised or maybe happy.....but she was trying not to show it too much and stay 'professional' for her customers. It's definitely not the way how just any other lady looks at me wherever i might be at that time.

It's definitely a good idea to focus on other girls too, and actually i already am doing that a bit. Remember the brunette lady from that same store, that i saw last friday? She smiling and looking at me and greeting, me doing the same...and when i exitted the store that happened once again. So in that aspect i'm definitely improving. And i am pretty sure i would have no problem trying to say something to her, cause i don't 'think' the same way as i do about the blonde girl, you know....that's exactly the thing. As soon as i really like a lady....it becomes hard for me.
 
Well you clearly know where your weak points are when talking to girls you like - you need to make sure you work on those, which you're obviously doing now anyway :) if she does see something in you too, then you're half way there already!
 
blue_eyed_belle said:
Well you clearly know where your weak points are when talking to girls you like - you need to make sure you work on those, which you're obviously doing now anyway :) if she does see something in you too, then you're half way there already!
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Haha, well a few signs are there...my brother saying he noticed that she stared at me a week ago, and he was under the impression that she kinda liked me too then.

And in my opinion they way she looked at me yesterday..like i said...i walked to the counter, and i saw her looking in my direction and somewhat having a surprised impression on her face and simply the way she looks at me...buuuuuuuut i could be so wrong. Just like with the other girl...maybe just being friendly. Even though i don't know for sure about neither of them.

Someone told me another nice thing i could say....

when she asks if i want the receat or when i ask if i could have it...i could say ' Yes, and your MSN if possible, please' ...while cracking a smile or winking. :D
 
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do you know what i find funny,she could be having the exact same conversations with her colleauges and is to shy to say anything to you,i don,t want to build your hopes up,but wouldn,t it be funny if this was the case,each of you waiting for the other to make the first move.
anyway i hope it all works out for you.keep us all updated,
 
man.in.the.mirror said:
do you know what i find funny,she could be having the exact same conversations with her colleauges and is to shy to say anything to you,i don,t want to build your hopes up,but wouldn,t it be funny if this was the case,each of you waiting for the other to make the first move.
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yep kind of funny :yes:... but a bit tragic if none of both will overcome it:no: they'd like eachother maybe one day they'll love eachother... but noone will know feel and live it ever.
Sooooooooooo I rrrrrrrrrrrrreally say go for it!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D
 
I love this forum, one thing is for sure...MJ fans are great people..that's simply a fact ;).
It's amazing all these replies, and they really do help too, oh for sure. The stupid thing is..i've just been reading all of my previous messages and i saw how i was planning on talking to her and giving her all kinds of compliments...but in the end...i didn't do much, lol. It's all about that moment....and no matter how hard you try...it's always difficult.

Yes, it would be great if she's exactly like me...discussing this with other people, who knows..maybe i am totally wrong and that she's already seeing someone. That would mean i have imagined all those few moments she stared at me in a certain way...it's possible that i have seen them but that they didn't mean anything...either way...i have to find out.

I received more tips on what i could say to spark up a conversation or at least have her smiling even more...here they are:

'don't take yourself too serious,make it funny too.Go to that counter with flowers you have bought there and just say that those flowers ain't doing what they are supposed to do what it says on the package....or something along those lines. And say it in a funny way....

Or

Go to the counter and when she says 'anything else?' or ' do you want the receat' you could say 'Yes and your MSN please' while looking a charming way.

Or

Go to another counter on purpose...and ask the girl there what the name of that lady is, you might also just say that you like her.Most of the time those girls behind counters are always pretty close with eachother in terms of telling eachother things. And so she might tell that other girl that a guy asked for her , and with alittle luck..she'll know who she means.
 
Mechi said:
yep kind of funny :yes:... but a bit tragic if none of both will overcome it:no: they'd like eachother maybe one day they'll love eachother... but noone will know feel and live it ever.
Sooooooooooo I rrrrrrrrrrrrreally say go for it!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D
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Aww I love a good love story! I agree, go for it! :D
 
Yes but i don't even know for sure if they sell flowers..if they do..then i can do that. However...where's the logic in going all the way to the counter to return flowers , when there are many other workers there in the shop to help me with that? But sure...i understand..it's all to get to talk to her, or get her to laugh.

Did ya'll see the movie Taxi Driver with Robert de niro....in that movie there's a scene where in a matter of a few minutes he asks this lady out, he doesn't even know her. But he tells it as he sees it...that would be a great way....but probably not for me ;)

This is what i'm talking about

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YYJc...0A572A67&playnext=1&playnext_from=PL&index=69
 
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I'm tellin ya Staffordshire....get yourself a big bag of dogfood (even if you don't have a dog) and go up and ask her how much this is...then ask her what food she recommends..does she have a dog...and then at the end say "Thank you! What's your name so I can put in a good word to your manager" ;) ;)
 
Hahaha, all of that is very nice...but the thing is, i am sure customers won't be too happy when i'm asking all that stuff, and having them wait. And all those things i can find out in the shop itself..by asking a worker there and the prices are always there ...so the chance that she would say 'maybe better to ask someone in the store, and you can see the prices there too ' is rather big.

You know...it would be good if she was actually not working behind the counter but just placing some products like that brunette lady was doing. That way i have the chance to actually ask those things about dog food ;). There's also a good chance that she will be working next week...since schools have their vacation now (one week) and she'll be off from school/studying...and maybe working more there. Let's hope so...so i can actually do something.

By the way...i remember another thing when i was well...sort of flirting with a lady. I was staying a friends house, far from here....and we were just walking in town and this lady that sells flowers said 'interested in any flowers sir?' which when i replied ' Do i get you with the flowers? " ...normally that's really not something i'd say to someone..but when you are with friends..you all of the sudden have much more courage...but that was fun :D.
 
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blue_eyed_belle said:
That would be good! Just don't chicken out! :p
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You mean when she would be working in the store and me starting a conversation? Well...i know for sure i wouldn't be chickening out anymore...starting a conversation when she's behind a counter is alot
more difficult compared to when she would be working in the store...cause starting up a conversation could be about so many things. They could be about the dog food, and me having several questions about it..and in the process , me asking her if she got any dogs .

Or anything else...the crappy thing is...she doesn't seem to be working much in the store itself. They got mostly guys for that, dammit. haha.
 
You could choose things that either don't have prices on them, or aren't marked obviously, and then go up to her and ask how much they are. Also, don't go in when the shop is at its busiest so that there's more of a chance that you can have a conversation, no matter how short.
 
OOOh I got an even BETTER Idea!! Bring the two dogs of yours to the store, and tie them up outside....then get the dog food, and then when she asks if you have a dog you can say "Yep! I got two of them!! Wanna see them?" Then, she follows you outside, cause women are suckers for cute doggies...;)
 
LindaC781 said:
OOOh I got an even BETTER Idea!! Bring the two dogs of yours to the store, and tie them up outside....then get the dog food, and then when she asks if you have a dog you can say "Yep! I got two of them!! Wanna see them?" Then, she follows you outside, cause women are suckers for cute doggies...;)
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It's great how you are trying to help out...but if it's one thing i am against at , it's putting my dogs outside the store without me watching over them. Yoshi's breed is definitely a breed that certain people would love to steal...i just don't trust these kind of things in this world. I am sorry, but this one definitely ain't gonna be happening :)

Also..she wouldn't be able to follow me, cause there are always customers waiting...even when it's not very busy there. So it all sounds great..but sadly, nope.

If she doesn't work next week and only on saturday..that's basically from 6 to 8. So i don't have that much choice on when to go there..and on saturdays it's always rather busy :(
 
Staffordshire Bullterrier said:
It's great how you are trying to help out...but if it's one thing i am against at , it's putting my dogs outside the store without me watching over them. Yoshi's breed is definitely a breed that certain people would love to steal...i just don't trust these kind of things in this world. I am sorry, but this one definitely ain't gonna be happening :)

Also..she wouldn't be able to follow me, cause there are always customers waiting...even when it's not very busy there. So it all sounds great..but sadly, nope.

If she doesn't work next week and only on saturday..that's basically from 6 to 8. So i don't have that much choice on when to go there..and on saturdays it's always rather busy :(
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AW Man!! That's rough....cause here in the US we have a store called PetSmart and you can actually bring your dogs in with you to shop!! Oh well....
 
Oooh!!! Got an even Better idea!! Get a very large bag of something...let's say it's over 50 lbs (at least 23 Kilos), then bring this to her line....she tries to pick it up, and you jump in and say "I'll get that one Ma'am"....then you get close to her as both of you try to pick it up...then tell her she has beautiful eyes....heh heh heh...;)
 
Another idea of mine - get a knick knack (if that store carries any) one that is exceptionally cute...then find the girl and ask her if she thinks this would make a good gift for your sister...
 
Nice ones, one thing is for sure...there's enough to choose from ;)
The thing is...when i went there yesterday twice...i stayed in the lineup of her counter on purpose. While another lineup at a different counter was practically empty....she's not crazy, she probably noticed a few things now too. I just hope i'll see her this week and not next saturday..that's so long.
 
blue_eyed_belle said:
Yeah a week is a long time to wait, but it would be worth the wait if you end up with her!
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Definitely, but let's keep in mind that she might already be seeing someone , or maybe when we eventually get to really meet eachother, we don't really like eachother that much. Anything can be the case :)
Cause i can look at all of this and see only great things, but i've always learned to see things realistic, stay realistic and just wait and see...so i'm not expecting anything, simply to avoid dissapointment.
 
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I should probably apologise at this point for being uber-positive, in case it doesn't go as you'd like it to, but i'm not allowed to mention anything negative this week - only positive thoughts for me. It's an agreement between me and my dad.

Whatever happens, you will have got 2 things out of this -
a.) you've made friends with us lovely people on here - I know you've been on here a while, but we actually know a bit more about you now!
b.) you've come far! Also, you'll have compiled all these ideas in your memory so that next time you get stuck talking to a girl, you'll be able to use one/some of them.

:D
 
blue_eyed_belle said:
I should probably apologise at this point for being uber-positive, in case it doesn't go as you'd like it to, but i'm not allowed to mention anything negative this week - only positive thoughts for me. It's an agreement between me and my dad.

Whatever happens, you will have got 2 things out of this -
a.) you've made friends with us lovely people on here - I know you've been on here a while, but we actually know a bit more about you now!
b.) you've come far! Also, you'll have compiled all these ideas in your memory so that next time you get stuck talking to a girl, you'll be able to use one/some of them.

:D
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Nah, you don't have to apolagise, i apreciate all this advice and help,it's great. One thing is definitely for sure...my self confidence has grown alot bigger and i feel much more happy....and as for focussing on other girls.

Well, this thursday my country is celebrating queens day..there will be lots of live music in town and out of town. I will definitely go there, either by myself or with my bro and his girlfriend. And i'll just have fun, and if i see a 'lonely' girl...i'll just walk up and start alittle chatter...if the music ain't too loud that is.

That's good for everything...good for my own self confidence, who knows, i might make a new friend in the process. From now on i am gonna change things. No more staying silent and shying away...nope nope.
 
so..in other words, you're gunna...make that change?

sorry...so sorry..to Michael, you and everyone, lol

but MJ's music has that affect on me. lol :D

but i really am glad for you :yes:
 
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