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Who's doing ok now?

At first on friday morning (European time) when I first got the news I was in disbelief and angry. Just refused to believe it. Yeasterday I cried and couldn't do anything. Today I haven't cried anymore and I feel a bit better but still very deep sadness is upon me. But it'll take weeks maybe moths before I'm ok... the nightmare however will never end.
 
It was pure shock Thursday night, I didn't cry...I was just numb. It wasn't real for me. Friday it sunk in even more as the radio and television were plastered with MJ. Friday Night was hard for me, it took me 4 hours to get to sleep and I was so restless, couldn't take my mind off his death. I'm doing a bit better now but am still so shocked and sad. It will take many weeks to get better, most likely months.
 
I'm not doing OK at all.

I cry non stop. I weep. I mourn. My heart is so broken.

It won't be OK for a long time.

I lost one of my best friends, my grandmother and Michael.
 
I'm okay, but time will definitely be slow. I'm still listening to the music and watching videos.

In my hometown, Atlanta, I went to the Opera club and they had a tribute to Michael. Everyone was on their feet and we danced our butts off! That's my way of celebrating the life of Michael. Although I'm still mourning, I try to take it one day at a time.
 
I think I'm doing OK now, for the first time. I'm still avoiding thinking about the fact that he's actually.. well, I still can't bring myself to say it. But all weekend I've been celebrating Michael's life by listening to his songs and watching his movies and videos...and it has filled me with positive emotion just looking at how much he accomplished and how many he influenced. I can't be sad while being grateful that such a person even existed and that I was one of the lucky people to have existed in the same time as he. I grew up with his music, my first memory is of the Black and White video, and I cannot be happier for that.
Basically, I feel like it's pointless to be stuck in the fact that he is now gone, but instead we should enjoy his legacy, everything he left us with. If it was his time then I have no choice but to accept it, even though through great great sadness.
However, should we discover that his passing could in any way have been prevented, but wasn't, at the fault of someone else.......... then I will be FAR from fine.
Hopefully such a time will not come.
 
I'm watching JAM right now on MTV2 and i'm enjoying it. But on Thursday when i heard the news, I bawlled like nothing. It was soo hard. I then went on Twitter, MJJC, facebook, and other Michael sits to see fans reactions, which got me to crying again. But since then, I've cried on and off.

When ever i think about how i'm not gonna c him I push it in the back of my mind and listen to his up beat songs. I know that one of these days its gonna hit me and it gonna be unbarable. But til then, I'll have to concentrate on michael's Music.

God, Pleace help us make peace in our hearts, and clear our minds from this grieve and make us understand your work. Like the saying goes "God's answeres are wiser than our prayers."

GOD BLESS!
 
I thought I was doing ok. Thursday and Friday I was just lost. Crying constantly, couldn't eat or sleep or barely breathe. Then Saturday I strangely felt near-normal. I thought that was odd, that I was "ok" so quickly after being so totally devastated. Now I think it was just some kind of over-correction of brain chemicals after such a shock, for this morning I woke up and began crying immediately. I've felt terrible again all day, cried many times. Now it's settled into more of an overall depression. It will be a long, long time before I can be like normal again. And I say "like" normal because it feels like I'll never be completely whole again.

I guess it helped yesterday that I was able to talk long distance with my sister for a couple of hours. She's not a fan, per se, but now I know that maybe she actually is. She's been crying, in shock, and we talked about Michael a lot. It was nice. I even sent her some of the unreleased stuff she's never heard because she said she wants it. She recounted how my bedroom had been wallpapered with Michael when we were kids and how I used to require a toll (fee) for walking through my door and entering my Michael haven... the toll being that she had to properly name all members of the Jackson family in a picture, lol. If she was wrong, no entry. I had totally forgotten. See, it made me laugh again. Hope it will you too.
 
i'm a little better today

i didn't cried at least... but i still feel sad
 
The terrible pain i felt has now subsided. I still get waves of grief washing over me, when I think of what was to come and how it will never be. Then I think that he achieved so much while he was on this earth, and that everyone is now accepting him for the genious he really is, and it makes me feel slightly better. Those who still focus on the negative are so few. My friend posted negativity on facebook and got beaten down by a dozen or so mutual friends who would normally have dissed MJ. Although i'm sad that they didn't see how brilliant he was before he passed away, I'm so pleased that they're appreciating him now.

All in all, i'm feeling ok. Still grieving, but getting on with my life too.
 
Im not sad or anything for Michael. Michael is without pain, finally, and no one can hurt him anymore. Michael is home.

But yes, i still miss him. I'm "okay" in the fact that i got over the sadness of it for the most part, in knowing and truly believing that MJ does not need our sadness right now. He is at peace. He is with the angels.

But I still miss him. Every song reminds me of MJ it seems. I tear up when i hear certain songs. See certain clips of him...cuz i miss him deeply.

Im also...at this point...VERY ANGRY. I just want to know what happened and why this have to happen. Who are the shady people who were around him. I am angry at the hypocrisy of the media...im angry at the disresepect and frenzy. Angry at the tributes, angry at the fact that NOW its cool to wear an MJ shirt but if i did that like 5 days ago, I'd be teased.

I am so so angry. So many questions unanswered. So much hypocrisy. Its sickening.
 
i'm still contstantly trying to reconcile the ENERGETIC and GIFTED performer in all the clips being shown on tv, with the Michael that is no longer with us. It breaks my heart thinking of Kenny Ortegas posts about how well things were and how they were moving to London soon...Its still so painful to think about...I haven't been able to pull away from the tv (which is killing me) and I haven't been able to listen to any songs because they just bring back WAY too many memories. I can't wait for the day where this somewhat subsides and we can just be left with the music (and hopefully some media regarding all of MJ's hard work with THIS IS IT)

God's Blessing Michael....love you and miss you...
 
I'm doing ok i think, but sometimes that goes out of the window and i'm not :( thursday night was the most unbearable time of my life, feelings ranging from disbelief to shock to total devastation.

Even though i have grown up children they are getting upset by seeing me so upset so i am putting on a brave face in front of them, talking about normal things, laughing at shows on the tv, while slowing aching inside. What did michael sing?? "smile though your heart is aching" well that is me.

When i am on my own i sometimes just totally break down, michael should have died an old man surrounded by the many children he wanted and his grandchildren, NOT LIKE THIS. we never had a chance for goodbyes and to think the man who has been a part of my life and who i have loved for over 30 years is no more, to hard to even think about.. I know time is a healer and we will heal a bit in time but WHEN i want that time to come now..

Sorry for the rant i just had to get that out.
 
It's not getting any better for me.
He was taken way too soon.
The little cherub of the J5 - I look back at that footage or read old articles of him and I just break down.
Why so soon??
 
I'm not doing these in order.... I started with #1, but fell into #4 - haven't been to #3, and am in #5 right now...but could go to #2 if this wasn't a 'natural' event.


Five Stages Of Grief

  1. Denial and Isolation.
    At first, we tend to deny the loss has taken place, and may withdraw from our usual social contacts. This stage may last a few moments, or longer.
  2. Anger.
    The grieving person may then be furious at the person who inflicted the hurt (even if she's dead), or at the world, for letting it happen. He may be angry with himself for letting the event take place, even if, realistically, nothing could have stopped it.
  3. Bargaining.
    Now the grieving person may make bargains with God, asking, "If I do this, will you take away the loss?"
  4. Depression.
    The person feels numb, although anger and sadness may remain underneath.
  5. Acceptance.
    This is when the anger, sadness and mourning have tapered off. The person simply accepts the reality of the loss.
http://www.memorialhospital.org/library/general/stress-THE-3.html
 
I feel better day after day! :)
Though I was really really sad on Friday morning but I try to cheer me up!
I still can listen to MJ music as I usually did!
Don't think that if people are feeling okay, it means that they're not true fans! It's wrong! I'm a true Michael Jackson fan and he was my world! :angel:
 
i don't know what stage i'm in. for the last two day's i've been waking up with tears in my eyes and my heart aching like crazy, but once i get out of the bed, i just turn numb. i don't want to speak with anyone, i've been avoiding phone calls, i can't concentrate on doing anything, i'm just browsing the forums, kind of thinking it all is just a fuked up game. my mind just won't let me accept it. i just want it all go away, i really hope the Jackson family will do a private funeral.
 
Exactly. Stage 5 and feeling guilty. But seriously, what do you do? I won't make any difference anymore. All I can do is listen to his music, think how he inspired me by changing my life.( and cry, but that was the day I heard it and after. but now not really anymore.)

Im tryin to forget and just say hes still alive. Wether its in our heart or irl.
 
Strawberry said:
i deleted all mj music from my ipod...i dont even watch the news


it hurts
Click to expand...


I haven't the courage to delete his songs from my Ipod just yet...by doing so, I feel like I would be dismissing him in some way....I can't explain it....although I don't listen to my ipod...it's strange...

and I also DO not watch the news....I find this most helpful. If I want any news I come to the threads...
 
I'm listening his music with my Ipod.
His voice has a healing effect. When I listen to 'Thriller' the music, I feel so sad but it makes me laugh too.
I enjoy listening to 'off the wall' It's like him saying "OK OK Everything will be alright. You can stand anything if you living off the wall."

and like some of you guys I try not too watch any news. They don't stop guessing and translating Tabloids.

I know after this hardship, we will back to our normal life remembering Michael as our hero. We will laugh and happy again. He's in our hearts.
 
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