Re: The MJJC July 13th 02 Vigil General Discussion From Page 36
just back home after been at the 02 till 1.30 this morning. knackered to say the least. nice 3.5 hr drive home
went to the ledger first, real nice atmosphere. hats off the ballons guys and girls in the side room nice touch although not sure where they all went at the 02 lol was great to meet up with all my hotel buddies and new friends aswell. it was a great comfort. u all know who u are. love u guys. going into the actual 02 was nightmare for me. seeing the spot where the press conference happened killed me inside as its the only time iv ever been in there. u cant describe the injustice of it all.
the 02 was abit weird. tbh we werent there for a party as some fans seemed to think it was. this wasnt being outside mjs hotel. this was about being in tears as you saw the dome and saw friends for the first time since its happened. i dunno alot of ppl said to me they didnt recognise half the ppl there. seemed maybe it was abit of fun for alot. maybe there are fans of mj the musican and there are fans of mj the person. the ppl who have met mj and had contact with him over many years even if it was just little contacts at hotels or experiences you had with him on a one on one manner. many of these fans just sat on the wall at the side watching the "party" and alot were really not happy about it. hoping those ppl would go so others could actualy morn and start to light all or candels as we did when it got dark. i creid a few times that night hurt that i lost someone i loved and what we should have experienced that evening if justice had been done. seemed it was more bout getting pictures of the memorial board than looking at all the flowerd as i did with tears straming down my face for some. i dunno each to their own
and now we hear about phillips plans for the 29th august. i dunno i think some will prefer to have their own vigils
Pretty much my thoughts exactly...
I went to the O2 around 5 pm yesterday...and saw all the cheery people on stage dancing and shouting and cheering and giggling and it just felt weird. I just felt completely lost and "ourt of place" because I started sobbing already on my way to O2 when I heard people talk about MJ and because all I could think iof was that just 4 months ago I had been there and had been SO HAPPY. Happier than I had been in YEARS. And now I am going there to basically say goodbye to someone who meant so much to me. I was just absolutely heartbroken and not in a cheery mood, and I wasn't expecting to go to a "carnival". I understand that people are going to do what they need to do and everyone is different and if some feel like "celebrating his life"...fine. But what disgusted me, to be honest, was seeing all these people I had never seen before at any MJ events, on stage, in front of all the cameras, "singing" Eart Song. Many of them didn't even know the lyrics and most of them were just giggling and making fun of the "aaaah ooooh" part and it just made me sick. IF you need to sing and be on stage and "celebrate", at least be RESPECTFUL about it and not giggle and make it a comedy. It just sickened me. Made me feel really bad. And like many others said....you could find all teh peopel who you'd meet at MJ's hotels and events at the back, far away from that crazy "stage crowd". I think the most BIZARRE moment was when the people on stage told everone to hold hands, and I thought "Okay...finally a nice moment...respecting Michael and his legacy and what he was about"....and then they are playing PYT!!! Truly a "WTF?????!!!!" moment!! :doh::doh::doh::doh::doh: I was like "Are they serious? I can hold hands but I ain't holding hands to PYT, I mean WTF???!!" :doh: I just felt really lost, and I held on to my flowers and banners for hours because I didn't feel like going to where "that crowd" was...it didn't feel right to have my banners where they were. Sorry if it offends anyone in case someone was there....but it just wasn't for me. I'm so glad I met people I actually knew too so that I could be with someone who understands and didn't have to feel alone.
We went away from the "circus" after a while and wanted to "wait until they go away" or until things get quiet so that we can have our vigil then. But when we came back it was pretty much the same. So we just did the ballooon thing on our own and tried to "do our thing". We wanted to get on stage later on to release balloons again at MJ's time of death to have a moment of silence for him and to think about him....but they didn't let us on stage. It just really felt some people were just there to make it "their show"...just made me sad. And it's sad that everyone was not given a chance to do what they need to do. The "cheery people" were having their circus for hours, it would have been nice if they coudl have given us even just 15 minutes of silence or even just something that would have been more like a vigil. Then when FINALLY teh ones on stage started playing the "right kind of songs"...and peopel were holding up candles...peopel at teh back started playing dance songs and cheering and I just thought "You gotta be kidding me??!!" and after a while I had enough, so I just walked through the crowd in the middle of that circle and PLEAED them to give us at least just 5 or ten minutes of "silence". I was like "PLEASE....could you stop the music even for just 5 or 10 minutes....everyone is singing for Michael...PLEASE" and I was almost crying because I just felt so bad. And surprisingly enough they did stop the music and joined everyone in holding candles and in the singing. That really amazed me, because honestly, I was expecting a lot of "oh go eff yourself we'll do what we wanna do" or them just blasting the music as soon as I left. But they did turn it off without any arguments so I thought that was really nice of them. So whoever that was in that group. Thank you so much for respecting our wishes and turning the music off. That was really nice of you.
What made me sad though was that I had come to the vigil to get "closure"...and as I told the wonderful little group of people I was able to hang out with (while sobbing away and barely being able to talk) when we were leaving, was that it felt so bad because I came there pretty much to "say goodbye to Michael"....but it felt more like I came to some "carnival" or a "circus" where there were people just making it "their show" and almost "hijacking" the place...so it felt I wasn't really able to get "closure" and it felt bad to leave that place like that. And it felt so bad especially, because I wanted to pretty much literally pay my last RESPECTS to Michael...and it felt it was just a total circus and carnival there. So sad.
Anyways...I just wanted to say THANK YOU to the group of peopel I was allowed to hang out with and who really made it a vigil for me and who really made me feel welcomed and who understood what I feel. I felt so lost at first, but being able to be with you guys really comforted me and to be able to be aroudn people who I was around when I last saw MJ in teh very same place as well, felt really good and it was just what I needed. So that being said...
Thank you
Maya (you're such a sweet girl!!! *huuuggggsssss*),
Andy, Benji, PrettyYoungThing,Pez, Kim, Katr2000, Motsey and those in the group whose names I didn't catch (the guy in the white shirt and someone's mom)...THANK YOU SO MUCH that I was allowed to be with you guys!! I am so sorry that I was sobbing every two minutes and sounded like Mickey Mouse when I talked because I had to cry most of the time because I just felt so sad...but that you so much for being so nice and understanding. You guys really made it a vigil for me and it felt so good to be aroudn you guys. So thank you so much!!!
And
Motsey....thank you so much for the ballooons!!! It was such a great idea and it was so selfless of you to do it for free. That's why I wanted to pay you for the ballooons because you were so nice and not trying to rip anyone off. I can't believe you didn't want to take any money!! But I really commend you for doing it for free. You coudl have chosen to make money out of the situation, but you chose to be a nice person and do it without trying to rip anyone off. MICHAEL WOULD HAVE BEEN PROUD OF YOU and it's fans like you that are real fans!!! So thank you again and you can be proud of yourself!! It was great to meet you!!
Thank you also to everone I met....
Hoofmark (thank you so much for comforting me and helping me with the banners!!),
SpunkyFunky, Moonstreet, Lorraine, Londonfan, Afifa and Gary. Was nice to meet you all, even though I wish the circumstances would have been different!!
Elusive, sorry I missed you...Were you with moonstreet? I didn't see you!
