Re: Random Thoughts
When people said heaven and hell, or at least pieces of them really are on earth, i wouldn't believe them. Well, i've learnt better since. I feel as though during the last year and a half i've had some verrry special tickets to heaven and hell and back to earth.
For a short two months last autumn i couldn't believe i was actually up there in heaven, almost too good to be true; then, in mid December all hell broke loose with the apex of pain and confusion in the first week of January. Then, in April for my birthday and in May for my name day i got some pretty nice presents which made me feel that hell was only make believe and temporary, but the pain never really subsided and ever since i feel as though i'm goin' through a terrible purgatory. Remains to be seen if all the fire will lead to the cleansing needed to reach heaven and remain in it.
I understand and i know that we should praise the Lord for trials and tribulations cause they fortify the spirit, but does it make me a terrible Christian and a horrible human being if i wish for it to stop already cause i don't know how much more i can take?? In any case, God's will be done, not mine.