New Fan and Thoroughly Addicted to Everything About This Man!

[staywild23]

I absolutely get what you mean! I’m your age too and fell in love with him in 2001 in 7th grade when my mom sat me down to watch the 30th anniversary concert special, and she said, “this is important.” Boy was she right. I was completely enamored. His music got me through some rough times, and being a dancer myself and an artist too (did you know MJ could draw?! Look up his drawings!) I felt such a kindred spirit in him.

As a young person with only message boards and no youtube or facebook yet, keeping up with the 2005 trial was exhausting especially when none of my friends understood. It was a lonely time. I prayed so hard for Michael.

In college I was busy with other things and fell away from MJ, (2007-2009 when he was a hermit) but was SO excited when he announced his comeback, but also had a strange feeling about it. A gut feeling he had suffered too much on earth and he needed to go.

When he died I remember being glued to the tv, and as well watching the funeral. I’ll never forget how absolutely broken I felt. Jennifer Hudson singing Will You Be There absolutely effed me up.

Time heals, but I had mostly fallen away from MJ again. I never watched LN, but started to have my doubts. Then, much like you, about 2 months ago I saw a reel on Instagram of him performing You Are Not Alone and him embracing a fan, kissing and hugging her. It flooded back memories of how I knew how much he truly LOVED his fans, and I crumbled to the floor. Another video of him breaking down at rehearsal when he heard about the ‘93 allegations destroyed any doubts that crept up that he was innocent.

Instagram and tiktok (Gen Z LOVES Michael!) has revealed video footage of all the still photos from events I remember reading about on message boards and news sites back in the early 00’s, before there was much video on the internet. It’s been really special for me to see and hear his voice on those videos, like a long lost home movie.

I’ve been struggling with my faith lately, but getting back into MJ has reminded me to truly live my faith in everything I do. He really tried to do that in his life. I really think he was an angel on earth.

And yes, he is SO sexy. Those gold pants, OMG. And the most beautiful smile in the world. (You should Google the most beautiful smile in the world)

Thank you so much for your reply!! I love that we are the same age because you know, then, exactly what it was like at that time and the weird narratives around Michael! I love that you discovered him through the 30th anniversary concert. I wonder how many people did! Side note: I hear people say those performances are not good, but honestly I love them. While I'm sure they are not his *best* I genuinely think they are amazing still. Anyway, I can't even imagine the kinship you felt/feel with him as a dancer! I have never danced in my life and now I dance all the time and have an actual interest in dancing!

Oh, and yes, I did know he could draw! I can't remember how I learned that, but I love his drawings! It actually reminded me that when I was a kid and teenager I used to draw constantly and loved it. So recently I started drawing again partly due to my inspiration from him. I even signed up for local drawing classes

Ugh I feel so sad for you and all the fans (and OF COURSE Michael during the 2005 trials). It makes me sick to think about. I didn't follow it at all, but I had a good friend who was extremely obsessed with Michael and I remember she had a hard time with it. Honestly, I feel so guilty when I think back to that time because not only was I not a fan, but I think I probably made fun of the whole situation like everyone else did then. It literally makes me sick to think about that now. I feel like people have always been cruel, but the late 90s/early-mid 2000s was sickeningly cruel. It really bothers me that I didn't take a serious look at what was happening to him and chocked it up as just celebrity gossip. I truly wasn't at all invested in any of that stuff, so it's not like I actively took issue with him, but I didn't try to understand him either and I hate that. On a side note, I do remember watching the Living with Michael Jackson documentary in 2003 and thinking he seemed like a really nice person, but then once I heard everyone thought he was a freak after that, I sort of changed my thoughts about it. Ugh...I was a teenager, that's all I can say.

ANYWAY, It is CRAAAAAZY that you had that thought about how he had already suffered too much and needed to go. Oh God, in some ways I am glad I wasn't a fan when he died because I don't think I could have handled it. I truly cannot bring myself to watch his memorial. Will You Be There is one of my favorite MJ songs and the idea of Jennifer Hudson performing it is too much lol.

Aww I'm so glad to hear that social media has connected you to him again!! I bet that is happening with a lot of people right now. I also LOVE that Gen Z loves Michael. I teach college and he has come up several times in class discussions and I even had a student write a paper about him and the misrepresentations of his vitiligo. Honestly, the fans that run the various TikTok, Instagram, and YouTube accounts are amazing. There are so many compilations and edits including not only his music but highlighting how special he was as a human being.

I understand completely what you mean about him being an angel. I am not a very faithful person (in a traditional religious sense) but I'm very spiritual. I feel like Michael was doing something far beyond pop music, or even art. The way he connects to his audience, the way he transforms fans and people like me 13 years after his death who never knew anything about him, is just remarkable. Like I said in my post, I am not a celebrity crazy person and I've never been affected by an artist in this way. I really think there is something more spiritual going on with him. Obviously he was still very much a human being with flaws and whatnot, but that doesn't mean he didn't have a more spiritual presence (or purpose).

Oh girl...I have googled that "most beautiful smile" so many times just to feel the happiness that it's all him lol. I am so glad you agree on the sexiness...I mean, I don't know how anyone couldn't! But I am currently obsessed with him in that regard and it takes everything in me to not talk about it all the time haha. I absolutely LOVE the gold pants and the whole look during that tour. But I'll admit, Thriller/Bad/Dangerous era are my absolute weak-in-the-knees favorites. I can barely contain myself when I'm watching any performances or interviews from those times. He's just so young and vibrant and effortlessly sexy. I'm obsessed with the curls too, especially during the bad tour. But also, I think a big part of my attraction to him in those times is that it's before things really started to fall apart for him, personally. He radiated joy, while owning the stage like an absolute beast, and....I gotta stop because I could go on all day lol.

 

[zinniabooklover]

ooooh you should definitely listen to Blood on the Tracks! It's pretty well known as Dylan's divorce album and in my early 20s, when I went through a really brutal divorce myself, it is the album I clung to for survival. It's a very emotional album but so, so good. I hope you enjoy it whenever you get to it!

Oh man...I have to admit. I actually love the Oprah interview. But NOT because I like Oprah or the way she treated him, or the questions she asked. I hate all of that. But I love the Oprah interview because he is such a sweetheart of a person. It was actually one of the first things I watched when I first started getting into him a couple months ago. I remember just being shocked at how kind and gentle he seemed. My whole life I knew he had a soft voice, but mostly because of the way he was portrayed in the media and movies. Seeing him actually talk in that voice and see his emotions and his smile and his laugh...he was just such an incredibly gentle, sweet person. I actually saw that full interview shortly after learning about LN for the first time and I was feeling very mixed up about that whole thing. Seeing who he was and how he came across when speaking to her definitely made an impact on me and propelled me to seek out more of the *truth* about him. If you do end up watching it at some point (which I think you should, especially since you are so interested in interviewing him!) I would love to hear your thoughts!

I cannot fathom how anyone could go on after Michael's Motown 25 performance. The entire thing, not just Billie Jean, is incredible. You are totally right though - Michael was so involved in every element of his music that there's no way he wouldn't be able to answer that question about the drummer lol. I recently watched the two Spike Lee documentaries about Off the Wall and Bad and it was so amazing to hear about his process. I'm also currently reading Man in the Music by Joseph Vogel and, again, it's just wonderful to read about his artistry! He was so special.

I actually haven't seen TII! I have been torn about it. It's very hard for me right now to deal with any of Michael's life post-2000. I've been actively avoiding it because it gets me so upset. But I know I will eventually watch it. But yes, I think "intense" is definitely the best word to describe him. I've never seen someone like him before. I really love that "king of pop" is his main title in the world, mostly because it was created specifically for him and I don't think anyone else will ever try to claim it. But that is still not big enough. It actually frustrates me because I feel like now that I understand who he was and what he was all about, I am furious that he doesn't have even wider acclaim than he already has (as the most awarded artist in history no less haha).

I love that quote from Adam Ant! You know, it's interesting to me that all of these people who knew Michael ALWAYS describe him the same way. You literally never hear a bad word about the guy unless money is involved. Idk if you've seen the behind-the-scenes of the Black or White video, but there's a point when he tells someone to bring water around for all the crew and the producer says to the camera something like "the absolute best major star to work for" and Michael gets all embarrassed and goes, "Oh, well thank you, that's nice" or something. Not only is it adorable, but it's also just indicative of who he always was as a person. I love it

Ooh, crossed wires, I think. The Adam Ant lyrics I quoted (from Dog Eat Dog) are not about Michael. That song was released in 1980, long before Adam had his little Motown 25 moment with Michael. My bad, I should have made myself clearer. The song has nothing to do with Michael but, have to admit, sometimes, now, when I play it those lines do make me think of Michael.

I just had exactly the same experience with a Bob Dylan song. Listened to some Blood on the Tracks songs and they were all great. One of them, Idiot Wind, had some lyrics that made me immediately think of Michael even though, clearly, he's nothing to do with the song. I didn't write them down so can't quote them but that was my instant reaction.

I listened to 4 songs and loved them all. BUT ... not buying it just yet. I decided, on a whim, to listen to one song from Desire. I chose Isis cos I liked the title so much. And that was it. That's my album. I wouldn't even care if the rest of the album was rubbish - I'm sure it's not but, Isis. That's all I need. It is epic. Even by the standards of His Bobness. Unbelievably good. I should thank you, really. Who knows how long it would have taken me to get around to listening to these albums? Something about how you wrote about them clearly got through to me and made me get my act together. So, thank you.

Oprah. Just don't think I can go there. I have always disliked her style so much.

I'm sure you have already found these things on YT but gonna mention them anyway, just to be on the safe side. Some YT clips that you might want to look at. Michael visits a Russian orphanage in 1993. Michael visits Paris in April 1997 (waxwork museum, called the Grevin, IIRC). I'm sorry I can't provide links. Totally useless at them. It's not even a generational thing. It's just a 'me' thing. Just cannot do them so gave up wasting my time trying. But you can Google these things really easily. I'm sure you've already checked out all the interview clips on YT but, if not, my top 2 are the Ebony / Jet interview from 1987 and MTV from 1999 (I might have mentioned that one once or twice!). And you've already watched the Mexico deposition from 1993? Yes? If not, I really would recommend it but I would start with just the first hour. There are many negative things about this whole deposition but also some good things and many of them are in the first hour. Michael explains his songwriting process, does some beatboxing, does some singing. It's a difficult thing to watch but also glorious. Actually, someone just posted a link to the Mexico deposition on the board but I can't remember which thread. It's dead easy to find, though.

BOW outtakes. Yes, I have about 4 different versions all bookmarked. Have you watched the YT clips re making of SIM? Not great quality but some lovely shots of Michael. There is a really long version which I avoid cos there's lots of boring stuff but there are 2 or 3 shorter ones which are fine. I think the making of SIM was an official release, no idea if it's still available.

TII. I saw it many times in the cinema and another 4 or 5 times on tv. Haven't seen it since. I had various thoughts and reservations about it but, ngl, I did go to see it and I did fall madly in love with it, overall. This is when I was still in the 'dazed and confused' stage of the aftermath of Michael's death. Of course, I now know a lot more about the whole story. It's all very difficult.

 

[Hiker]

There is just so much to unpack in this thread. Thank you all for expressing your feelings. I am not big on words, but I reading these posts and constantly nodding, yes yes, I had the same experience. I have been feeling like a crazy person, getting obsessed about a celebrity, spending hours listening to him and reading about him, I am not a teenager. Though I cannot help but feel he came into my life to help me deal with something I have been dreading to deal with. I was so hurt, angry, obsessing about my life's event, crying all the time, And now, I am obsessing about Michael. And in some strange way it is helping me think clearly about my life and I am able to deal with it in a more rational way. It is so crazy, and so unexpected. Maybe that is what people experience when they talk about him being an angel, maybe he was a deeply spiritual person and that has some deep impact on people. I used to think I am a very rational person!

Oprah interview - I think it was one of the first things I saw about Michael. She missed a great opportunity to talk to him about his work and art, but just hearing Michael being open, relaxed, smiling and talking is worth the time. Especially towards the end when he sings Who Is It, and shows the Moonwalk, that's my favourite part.
Making of BoW - he is just so cute in that clip, goofing around on set. Its a must see.
I have only watched the first 40 or so minutes of Mexico deposition, but it turned out to be really good insight into his creative process, way he talks about recording the song in his head, and "Michael's Law", its treasure. I am going to finish watching rest of it slowly.

I don't know if I want to watch anything after 2000-2001, even the 30th Anniversary show. I want to preserve my memory of him as vibrant, totally in command, rule the stage performer. I don't think he was the same after 2001, don't know what changed, maybe life just caught up with him. I know, that's not being a true fan, true fans embrace every aspect of the artist, and it was natural progression of life, but still I don't want to. I have seen some TII rehearsals as they keep popping up on YT, but he did not seem in command compared to Dangerous rehearsals. I hope this does not offend anyone, and maybe like true fans I will get to a place where I can watch TII and not feel all the negative things.

Alright, I am out of words now.

Oh girl...I have googled that "most beautiful smile" so many times just to feel the happiness that it's all him lol. I am so glad you agree on the sexiness...I mean, I don't know how anyone couldn't! But I am currently obsessed with him in that regard and it takes everything in me to not talk about it all the time haha. I absolutely LOVE the gold pants and the whole look during that tour. But I'll admit, Thriller/Bad/Dangerous era are my absolute weak-in-the-knees favorites. I can barely contain myself when I'm watching any performances or interviews from those times.

.... can't believe you wrote that. You can talk about it with me, haa haa. I cannot believe I think he is so sexy, and that too dressed in oddest of clothes with long hair, make up, that would be a total turn off for me. But Michael makes it all work. I am fan of Dangerous costume, no matter what other people way. It really flatters his body and shows the dance moves. As a (former) dancer I totally appreciate that much more than the busy gold costume.

 

[zinniabooklover]

ooooh you should definitely listen to Blood on the Tracks! It's pretty well known as Dylan's divorce album and in my early 20s, when I went through a really brutal divorce myself, it is the album I clung to for survival. It's a very emotional album but so, so good. I hope you enjoy it whenever you get to it!

Oh man...I have to admit. I actually love the Oprah interview. But NOT because I like Oprah or the way she treated him, or the questions she asked. I hate all of that. But I love the Oprah interview because he is such a sweetheart of a person. It was actually one of the first things I watched when I first started getting into him a couple months ago. I remember just being shocked at how kind and gentle he seemed. My whole life I knew he had a soft voice, but mostly because of the way he was portrayed in the media and movies. Seeing him actually talk in that voice and see his emotions and his smile and his laugh...he was just such an incredibly gentle, sweet person. I actually saw that full interview shortly after learning about LN for the first time and I was feeling very mixed up about that whole thing. Seeing who he was and how he came across when speaking to her definitely made an impact on me and propelled me to seek out more of the *truth* about him. If you do end up watching it at some point (which I think you should, especially since you are so interested in interviewing him!) I would love to hear your thoughts!

I cannot fathom how anyone could go on after Michael's Motown 25 performance. The entire thing, not just Billie Jean, is incredible. You are totally right though - Michael was so involved in every element of his music that there's no way he wouldn't be able to answer that question about the drummer lol. I recently watched the two Spike Lee documentaries about Off the Wall and Bad and it was so amazing to hear about his process. I'm also currently reading Man in the Music by Joseph Vogel and, again, it's just wonderful to read about his artistry! He was so special.

I actually haven't seen TII! I have been torn about it. It's very hard for me right now to deal with any of Michael's life post-2000. I've been actively avoiding it because it gets me so upset. But I know I will eventually watch it. But yes, I think "intense" is definitely the best word to describe him. I've never seen someone like him before. I really love that "king of pop" is his main title in the world, mostly because it was created specifically for him and I don't think anyone else will ever try to claim it. But that is still not big enough. It actually frustrates me because I feel like now that I understand who he was and what he was all about, I am furious that he doesn't have even wider acclaim than he already has (as the most awarded artist in history no less haha).

I love that quote from Adam Ant! You know, it's interesting to me that all of these people who knew Michael ALWAYS describe him the same way. You literally never hear a bad word about the guy unless money is involved. Idk if you've seen the behind-the-scenes of the Black or White video, but there's a point when he tells someone to bring water around for all the crew and the producer says to the camera something like "the absolute best major star to work for" and Michael gets all embarrassed and goes, "Oh, well thank you, that's nice" or something. Not only is it adorable, but it's also just indicative of who he always was as a person. I love it

Same as before, you might already know about this but gonna mention it anyway. I'd rather tell you stuff you already know than risk you missing out on stuff.

French MJ fan, Yoann Bomal, has YT channel. Has a great little film called 'Devenir Michael Jackson', his love letter to Michael. It is quite long, 1hr 17mins. I love it. He studied film so it's beautifully filmed and brilliantly edited. He's mostly looking at Michael as a dancer which is why I love it so much. This will sound bonkers but I think Michael is underrated as a dancer. The guy has a lot of theories and I don't agree with all of them but I think it's an amazing piece of work. I'm not gonna try to describe it. I'd recommend watching the first 10 - 15 mins and just see what you think.

The memorial service. I didn't like it but Stevie Wonder's solo bit was lovely. He spoke beautifully about Michael. Here's a little fragment:

"Michael, I love you and I've told you that many times so I'm at peace ... at peace with that ... we can't help but love you forever, Michael."
And then he sings 'I never dreamed you'd leave in summer'

Finally, those Bob Dylan lyrics from Idiot Wind:

Someone's got it in for me
they're planting stories in the press
Whoever it is I wish they'd cut it out quick
but when they will I can only guess

People see me all the time and they just can't remember how to act
Their minds are filled with big ideas, images and distorted facts

I ran into the fortune teller
who said beware of the lightning that might strike
I haven't known peace and quiet for so long
I can't remember what it's like

Since it dates from the '70's it's clearly not about Michael at all and yet so pertinent, in many ways.

Oh, just remembered - Bob Dylan apparently bringing out a book later this year. Analysing 60 songs - Nina Simone, Elvis Costello, Hank Williams. Didn't say if Michael was in there. Book title - The philosophy of modern song. If Bob Dylan analysed a Michael song that could be awesome.

 

[OhButItsRed]

Whew... I have so many feelings and so much to say lol. Let me attempt to express myself...

I am a woman in my early 30s and, obviously, I have known about Michael Jackson my entire life. He's one of those few people you don't even remember not knowing about. He's that much a part of the cultural fabric. However, I came of age during the 2000s and that was a difficult time for Michael so, needless to say, my understanding of him was hardly fair. I had a best friend in high school who was obsessed with him, but never made much effort to introduce me to his music. Yet despite my lack of real understanding of him, I still remember where I was when I found out he died and how strange it made me feel to imagine a world without him in it. I wasn't a fan, but I understood it was a massive loss and shift in the universe. I didn't know anything about him and, as someone who has never been a fan of pop music, I was in no real rush to learn about him. This is where I was coming from in early January 2022...and oh how much has changed since then!

It all started when I stumbled upon a random reel on Facebook of Michael dancing. I want to say it was a brief moonwalk compilation, or clip of a Billie Jean performance. I'm not sure. I just remember being blown away. Like, legitimately thinking, how the F is Michael Jackson this amazing? (as if I should have expected anything less than mind-blowing, c'mon past self). This led to scrolling through a few more of these videos, eventually jumping over to Google and searching things like "which songs include the moonwalk" and "Michael Jackson's best performances," then a YouTube binge of Billie Jean, followed by more Billie Jean, followed by the Superbowl performance, followed by everything else I could find. I was stunned. How could I have never realized how incredible this man was? How did I never realize how incredibly cool, smooth, and swag he was? How did I get through life not knowing how sexy he was? This turned into bingeing more and more videos, more and more Google searches, discovering (unfortunately) the existence of LN and feeling concerned about it, joining the MJ subreddit and learning more (and feeling less concerned about it), more YouTube, SO MANY LIVE performances, reading Moonwalk, reading Dancing the Dream, literally dancing the dream around my house blaring his music and deafening everyone around me, buying more books about him, scouring every record shop around me to find Thriller and Bad on vinyl, building and sharing playlists, blasting him all hours, all day long, buying tickets for an April performance of MJ the Musical (yay!) and just generally growing more and more and more obsessed with him in the briefest period of time that anyone has ever grown obsessed with a person. No lie, I wonder sometimes if I'm losing my mind haha!

You all. I'm not kidding. I am ADDICTED to this man. This artist who was in the backdrop of my existence forever and who influenced everything and everyone, but who I somehow knew nothing about. I am fully and thoroughly addicted to him. I legitimately cannot stop, because I cannot get enough of him! hahah I find it hard to concentrate because I literally want to listen to him every waking moment. During breaks between teaching classes, I pump myself up by watching his performances. I am sending his videos to everyone I know, trying to get them to understand (it's worked in a few cases haha). But like...will this ever end? Because I'm 33 years old and I did not sign up to fall in love with a celebrity at this age lol. Especially because I truly am not someone who has ever obsessed over celebrities in my entire life. Seriously. This is not normal for me at all.

So that's a good question - what is it about Michael Jackson, you guys? How does he do this to a person? No musician has ever had this affect on me. My love for his dancing, which is objectively the most incredible, dynamic, and sexy dancing I've ever seen, my love for his voice, which is the most beautiful, dynamic, emotive voice I've ever heard, his PERSONALITY which is just so kind, loving, generous...his APPEARANCE -- holy shit, I had no idea. After a lifetime of media propaganda telling me this man wasn't attractive, I am stunned on a daily basis by how ridiculously hot he is. He is insanely sexy and my mind and body can't comprehend it. I could literally write 1,000 words just about how attractive he is, but I will spare you all lol.

I know he's not perfect. I'm not trying to say he is. Please understand I am in my early stages of fandom. But since I've never felt this way about anyone else, I'm genuinely just baffled by how passionately I feel about him. I have cried for him multiple times, so pained by his pain I can't stand it. So much undeserved suffering. Ugh. But on the other hand, he fills me with the most complete joy and has inspired me so much to pursue doing good in the world and embrace my creativity (which I have neglected for too long). In short, I just feel so blessed to have developed this totally unexpected obsession with him. What a talented, beautiful, sensitive, force of nature wrapped up in such a fantastically compelling and lovely human being.

I am mostly posting this just to share my feelings about him because where else can I go this crazy but a fan forum! haha But I would love to hear from other people about how you came to love Michael and if I can ever expect this obsession to fade (at the moment I don't even want it to, but y'know, I gotta live a life).

But in all seriousness, I really just want to GUSH about him and I'd love to be joined by anyone else who feels like straight up GUSHING over him too!

Hello and Welcome! Can I just start this off by saying that I genuinely love reading this thread? It's just always so refreshing to see newer fans discover and get so excited about Michael, it really warms my heart

Personally, I've been a part of the online fan community for about 17 years (holy crap has it been that long??), but my love for Michael started much earlier. I was about 3-years-old when my parents brought home a copy of Moonwalker for the first time, and I think they knew they messed up from the moment they popped that tape into the VCR because little me became OBSESSED with him. I still have the VHS too, and it's actually still in pretty good condition despite how often it got played lol. From then on, anything that had even a mention of Michael in it, I consumed. I really thought he was made of magic back then.

My mom was always very supportive of my love for him. Both my parents were, but my mom especially. I remember a time when she called me into her room and we watched the Jacksons: An American Dream together, and she had to explain to little me that it wasn't actually Michael in the movie singing Human Nature . There was also another time when she called my siblings and me into the living room to watch the 30th Anniversary special, and all she had to say was "Look honey, it's Michael!" to get me glued to the TV. My parents actually went ahead and bought my first MJ CD, Invincible, when I was about 5 or 6 without me even having to ask because they already knew I was gonna want it when it came out lol.

As I got a little older, though, I started to get interested in other things and my love for him took a back seat for a while. I think my parents were also shielding me from the things that were being said about him at the time too because I didn't figure it out until the latter half of the 2005 trial. I was about 10 or 11 when it happened, and I remember just being so confused about the whole thing, in part because I was so young and because I just couldn't understand how anyone could accuse him of anything as heinous as that. In my experience, it was incredibly isolating being an MJ fan at the time, because people my age hated him and bullied me for it while the only other MJ fans I knew were all adults, and the only thing in common we had was our love for Michael lol. That was fine by me though, because I still had him, his music, and the forums to get me through the hard times. The day Michael was declared innocent of all charges, my heart soared. I was on the forum all day with other fans celebrating, I remember we even had a little party in the chatrooms where we stayed up almost all night having fun.

Ahhh those were the good ol' days.

When he passed....Man, that was hard. I had been feeling all anxious the night before, but I didn't know why. The morning of, I was on the computer when my mom came in and told me what happened. I didn't believe her at first, though, there was just no way. Then I turned on the news and started obsessively checking the fan forums, and as the reports came in, my heart sunk to my stomach. Even when Jermaine announced it on tv, I still couldn't believe it. It was just too surreal. I was completely despondent at first, and it wasn't until I heard Paris speak at the live public memorial did it finally sink in. I cried and cried and cried.

So yes, what is it about Michael that has got us in such a chokehold? For me, he's always had such a huge influence on my life. To this day, his story has been my inspiration. In a way, I guess you can say that he helped shape me into the person I am today. Through him, I've learned how to believe in myself and my dreams, how to be strong and get through those difficult times gracefully, with a smile. His heart, compassion, and humanity have all made me want to do better, be better. There really isn't anyone who can even come close to holding a candle to him.

TL;DR - No, I'm afraid the obsession never really ends. Once you catch Jackson Fever, you never recover again! The only treatment is to listen to his entire discography, watch every video you can find, and swoon.

 

[MacMandy90]

It really warms my heart of how there are still many fans and newer ones that really love Michael! I knew how that felt to be an isolated fan in my younger years, it was really tough but being able to immerse myself with other fellow Moonwalkers gives me such joy to know that. When the trial happened I was about 14, I was glued to the tv, hoping and praying for him and by god I was over the moon on the acquittal! I couldn't for the life of me as to why people could be so greedy and cruel. Then summer before my senior year of high school I was in the process of moving when I saw the news that Michael passed...I felt it was like a cruel joke, I was on my knees crying my eyes out, and the day of my grandpa's birthday was the memorial service on tv, I broke down to see Paris speak, and it was hard to watch the service, I felt that it was out of respect. It's still surreal to this day to get over the grief, but I know that his legacy still lives on and the memories of his grace, smile, and all of the above keeps me going, and all of us moonwalkers.

 

[staywild23]

Ooh, crossed wires, I think. The Adam Ant lyrics I quoted (from Dog Eat Dog) are not about Michael. That song was released in 1980, long before Adam had his little Motown 25 moment with Michael. My bad, I should have made myself clearer. The song has nothing to do with Michael but, have to admit, sometimes, now, when I play it those lines do make me think of Michael.

I just had exactly the same experience with a Bob Dylan song. Listened to some Blood on the Tracks songs and they were all great. One of them, Idiot Wind, had some lyrics that made me immediately think of Michael even though, clearly, he's nothing to do with the song. I didn't write them down so can't quote them but that was my instant reaction.

I listened to 4 songs and loved them all. BUT ... not buying it just yet. I decided, on a whim, to listen to one song from Desire. I chose Isis cos I liked the title so much. And that was it. That's my album. I wouldn't even care if the rest of the album was rubbish - I'm sure it's not but, Isis. That's all I need. It is epic. Even by the standards of His Bobness. Unbelievably good. I should thank you, really. Who knows how long it would have taken me to get around to listening to these albums? Something about how you wrote about them clearly got through to me and made me get my act together. So, thank you.

Oprah. Just don't think I can go there. I have always disliked her style so much.

I'm sure you have already found these things on YT but gonna mention them anyway, just to be on the safe side. Some YT clips that you might want to look at. Michael visits a Russian orphanage in 1993. Michael visits Paris in April 1997 (waxwork museum, called the Grevin, IIRC). I'm sorry I can't provide links. Totally useless at them. It's not even a generational thing. It's just a 'me' thing. Just cannot do them so gave up wasting my time trying. But you can Google these things really easily. I'm sure you've already checked out all the interview clips on YT but, if not, my top 2 are the Ebony / Jet interview from 1987 and MTV from 1999 (I might have mentioned that one once or twice!). And you've already watched the Mexico deposition from 1993? Yes? If not, I really would recommend it but I would start with just the first hour. There are many negative things about this whole deposition but also some good things and many of them are in the first hour. Michael explains his songwriting process, does some beatboxing, does some singing. It's a difficult thing to watch but also glorious. Actually, someone just posted a link to the Mexico deposition on the board but I can't remember which thread. It's dead easy to find, though.

BOW outtakes. Yes, I have about 4 different versions all bookmarked. Have you watched the YT clips re making of SIM? Not great quality but some lovely shots of Michael. There is a really long version which I avoid cos there's lots of boring stuff but there are 2 or 3 shorter ones which are fine. I think the making of SIM was an official release, no idea if it's still available.

TII. I saw it many times in the cinema and another 4 or 5 times on tv. Haven't seen it since. I had various thoughts and reservations about it but, ngl, I did go to see it and I did fall madly in love with it, overall. This is when I was still in the 'dazed and confused' stage of the aftermath of Michael's death. Of course, I now know a lot more about the whole story. It's all very difficult.

Oooooh sorry, that was my own misunderstanding! Thanks for explaining!

Also, I am so glad that you are feeling both Blood on the Tracks AND Desire! I agree - Isis is an amazing song. Also, Idiot Wind is probably my actual favorite song on Blood on the Tracks and definitely in my top 5 favorite Dylan songs. It is an AMAZING song. And his vocal delivery is really pointed and emotional. I love it! Yay for spreading the Dylan love!!

I definitely respect not wanting to watch the Oprah interview! Just if you ever change your mind, let me know haha

I have not looked at the clips of Michal visiting the Russian orphanage in 93 or Paris in 97!! I'm so excited to search for them! I have seen several compilations of his humanitarian work, so perhaps I've seen a clip from those? Either way, i just love seeing him doing that work. Also I am obsssseesssssssed with the Ebony Jet interview from 1987! I mean, the content is fantastic. It is actually a *respectful* interview about his craft, honoring him and the things he cares about, etc. I've seen it probably 10 times lol. A big part, I will admit, is the whole being in love with him bit lol. It's hard to resist an interview in which he looks THAT good (though I absolutely promise, I care about what he has to say even more!). I *think* I watched the MTV interview from 99...that reminds me though, have you ever listened to the Rolling Stone Interview from 2001/02? I can't remember exactly when it was. But It's almost an hour and it's on YouTube. There is no video, just audio. It's really good! Very in depth.

I have watched the entirety of the Mexico depositions at least once, possibly twice, and watched certain segments multiple times. Did I mention I'm obsessed with him? Lol It's bad.

Oh watch all of the BOW outtakes! There are some clear best parts of that whole 25-30 minute special, but I just love him in the entire thing. Also, I have not watched the making of SIM at all yet! I definitely will.

I am glad to hear you say you watched TII a lot because I hear a lot of mixed reviews/feelings about it from other fans. I know it was a very complex situation and there may be some very serious issues with that movie. But I am very interested in watching that someday!

 

[staywild23]

There is just so much to unpack in this thread. Thank you all for expressing your feelings. I am not big on words, but I reading these posts and constantly nodding, yes yes, I had the same experience. I have been feeling like a crazy person, getting obsessed about a celebrity, spending hours listening to him and reading about him, I am not a teenager. Though I cannot help but feel he came into my life to help me deal with something I have been dreading to deal with. I was so hurt, angry, obsessing about my life's event, crying all the time, And now, I am obsessing about Michael. And in some strange way it is helping me think clearly about my life and I am able to deal with it in a more rational way. It is so crazy, and so unexpected. Maybe that is what people experience when they talk about him being an angel, maybe he was a deeply spiritual person and that has some deep impact on people. I used to think I am a very rational person!

First -- I just want to say I'm so sorry about whatever life event has happened that led you to a dark place. I've seen you mention it in a different thread, so I know it must be something really profound. Idk if this is weird or not, but I just wanted to offer that if you ever need someone (a total stranger in fact) to talk to about whatever happened, I am certainly an option! I've had many, many dark stretches of life and some really traumatizing stretches that I've been in recovery with. I am very compassionate to these kinds of life-changing things that knock the wind completely out of us, even if I don't relate to all of them. Anyway, I just wanted to mention that...

Also, I have watched all of the Mexico deposition at least once and certain sections multiple times. It's so good lol. The entire 3 hours or so isn't ALL super engrossing, but the stretches that are really are! And YESS the Making of BoW -- I have watched that an embarrassing number of times. I am in love with him at a couple of key parts lol - 1) when he stubs the dancers toe and is getting his makeup fixed and is all embarrassed about it 2) When he's holding the little girl and talking to her about Halloween and says "she's a sweet little girl and she's doing a great job!" like the best dad energy I can imagine, and 3) When he claims he doesn't do dirty dancing

I think maybe eventually you'll want to watch his later stuff. I expect I will too. But It's hard because I also like to think of him as the happy, empowered, top-of-his-game performer. It's hard to want to actively choose to go into the harder times in his life when he struggled with painkillers, legal issues, etc. However I will say that I've watched fairly minimal clips from TII rehearsals, but I find him in them to be pretty similar to how he is at rehearsals for the Bad tour and for the Dangerous tour. I haven't spent a TON of time with rehearsal footage, but I wouldn't say he seems to be all that less capable. Obviously, he was older and had medical issues we didn't all even know about yet (to my knowledge) along with other physical issues, but I feel like he seemed very confident and capable in all of the clips I have seen from TII. Most of my reason for avoiding post-2000s times is because I seriously can't stand thinking about him in so much pain from all that happened to him. I truly can't handle it. But I know someday I definitely will and it will be hard

.... can't believe you wrote that. You can talk about it with me, haa haa. I cannot believe I think he is so sexy, and that too dressed in oddest of clothes with long hair, make up, that would be a total turn off for me. But Michael makes it all work. I am fan of Dangerous costume, no matter what other people way. It really flatters his body and shows the dance moves. As a (former) dancer I totally appreciate that much more than the busy gold costume.

hahaha welll we have since taken this discussion to other boards, but I must say, I truly can't HELP but say these things right now LOL. I adore him in every conceivable way haha. I actually LOVE the way he dresses (minus a few looks). I have never gone for particularly stylish guys, or guys that put much pizazz (lol) into their wardrobe. But I find his overall style to be so sexy! I like seeing the way it evolves over the decades too as he grew into himself more as an adult man. I think the first time I thought HOLY SHIT this guy is sexy is watching the AMA 1994 footage of him accepting the various awards for Thriller, wearing the BOMB glittery military jacket and aviators. Swooon. Anyway, it just progressed from there. But a big part of it is I think he dresses like a BOSS 99% of the time. Also, while I'm definitely not into guys wearing makeup (super noticeable makeup, that is) it never really occurred to me until recently that a lot of the makeup I think MJ wore in the 90s was to make up for the total lack of pigment in his skin. That's why he had to wear blush and lip color. Now of course he could have chosen to wear that stuff just because he wanted to, not because of his skin condition. Either was of course completely his right. But once I considered how hard it must have been for him to try to literally make up for a lost complexion even on his lips and stuff, I started to see his whole look a little differently. Either way, I know what you mean about him not being your typical type. He's not at all mine and yet, here I am, swooning to strangers because I'm addicted to him and cannot get enough.... haha. What a life!

 

[staywild23]

Same as before, you might already know about this but gonna mention it anyway. I'd rather tell you stuff you already know than risk you missing out on stuff.

French MJ fan, Yoann Bomal, has YT channel. Has a great little film called 'Devenir Michael Jackson', his love letter to Michael. It is quite long, 1hr 17mins. I love it. He studied film so it's beautifully filmed and brilliantly edited. He's mostly looking at Michael as a dancer which is why I love it so much. This will sound bonkers but I think Michael is underrated as a dancer. The guy has a lot of theories and I don't agree with all of them but I think it's an amazing piece of work. I'm not gonna try to describe it. I'd recommend watching the first 10 - 15 mins and just see what you think.

The memorial service. I didn't like it but Stevie Wonder's solo bit was lovely. He spoke beautifully about Michael. Here's a little fragment:

"Michael, I love you and I've told you that many times so I'm at peace ... at peace with that ... we can't help but love you forever, Michael."
And then he sings 'I never dreamed you'd leave in summer'

Finally, those Bob Dylan lyrics from Idiot Wind:

Someone's got it in for me
they're planting stories in the press
Whoever it is I wish they'd cut it out quick
but when they will I can only guess

People see me all the time and they just can't remember how to act
Their minds are filled with big ideas, images and distorted facts

I ran into the fortune teller
who said beware of the lightning that might strike
I haven't known peace and quiet for so long
I can't remember what it's like

Since it dates from the '70's it's clearly not about Michael at all and yet so pertinent, in many ways.

Oh, just remembered - Bob Dylan apparently bringing out a book later this year. Analysing 60 songs - Nina Simone, Elvis Costello, Hank Williams. Didn't say if Michael was in there. Book title - The philosophy of modern song. If Bob Dylan analysed a Michael song that could be awesome.

I haven't heard of that French MJ Fan or his YT channel. Thank you for the recommendation - I will definitely check it out! It is interesting you say that MJ is an underrated dancer. to be perfectly honest, I think he is underrated in every area. It actually makes me actively furious because the caliber of his talent is so far above and beyond anyone else I've ever seen and the fact that his legacy was torn down the way it was... I mean Jesus, what other celebrity could survive the level of smear campaigns against him and still come out as a major artist and still be heavily regarded today! Still, my point is that despite being so well regarded as influential, king of pop, groundbreaker, etc. it would be SO much more by now had he not been a victim of the media. Anyway, back to the dancer part. I definitely think he is underrated. Consider the fact that he never had any formal dance training and literally learned by watching. That alone is incredible. But then when you look at how complex and complicated his dances are. How rigorous they are. How *perfect* his execution is.... to top it all off the EMOTIONAL IMPACT of his dancing... I know absolutely nothing about dance and have never cared about it either way before. But his dancing alone makes me feel a tremendous amount. THAT is a gift beyond words.

Oooooooh yes, the opening verses of Idiot Wind. That was all very autobiographical for Dylan actually. Like I mentioned before, BOTT was his "divorce album." My understanding is that there were a bunch of tabloid rumors about him having affairs and that lended toward his breakup from his wife (who he was married to for 8 or so years and had 5 children with). Dylan talked about the media quite a bit in the 60s in interviews and even some of his songs. He was very mysterious and rarely gave interviews. When he did they were alway on his terms and he was a very difficult guest (not in a rude way so much as unwilling to play the game, if that makes sense). Anyway, he was really harrassed by the media and fans leading up until 1966 when he got in a very serious motorcyle accident and let people think he died for a little while lol. He took that as an opportunity to completely abandon his career at the height of his fame and he moved to upstate New York and started a family. He put out a country album and just totally took himself out of the picture until the early 70s. I believe Dylan really, really hated and probably still hates being famous. I believe he likes performing, but he is not a "performer" so to speak. There's a famous quote from a press conference in the 1960s when someone asked him if he considers himself more of a poet or a songwriter and he said he's more of a "song and dance man" and everyone cracked up, including him. I say all this because he was pretty opposite of MJ in almost every way and yet he was also very sensitive to bad press and the media.

and OMG I had no idea about that forthcoming Bob Dylan book. Thank you SO much for mentioning this!! I would love, love, love if he analyzed something from Michael. He really should. I could see him doing We are the World simply because he participated in it and it speaks to his history of protest songs. But I sort of doubt it. I expect he will do a lot of obscure, classic artists, as well as some of his contemporaries like The Beatles. I wouldn't be surprised if he doesn't do any Michael, but I so wish he would. If he does, any particular songs you'd like to see him write about?

 

[staywild23]

Hello and Welcome! Can I just start this off by saying that I genuinely love reading this thread? It's just always so refreshing to see newer fans discover and get so excited about Michael, it really warms my heart

Personally, I've been a part of the online fan community for about 17 years (holy crap has it been that long??), but my love for Michael started much earlier. I was about 3-years-old when my parents brought home a copy of Moonwalker for the first time, and I think they knew they messed up from the moment they popped that tape into the VCR because little me became OBSESSED with him. I still have the VHS too, and it's actually still in pretty good condition despite how often it got played lol. From then on, anything that had even a mention of Michael in it, I consumed. I really thought he was made of magic back then.

My mom was always very supportive of my love for him. Both my parents were, but my mom especially. I remember a time when she called me into her room and we watched the Jacksons: An American Dream together, and she had to explain to little me that it wasn't actually Michael in the movie singing Human Nature . There was also another time when she called my siblings and me into the living room to watch the 30th Anniversary special, and all she had to say was "Look honey, it's Michael!" to get me glued to the TV. My parents actually went ahead and bought my first MJ CD, Invincible, when I was about 5 or 6 without me even having to ask because they already knew I was gonna want it when it came out lol.

As I got a little older, though, I started to get interested in other things and my love for him took a back seat for a while. I think my parents were also shielding me from the things that were being said about him at the time too because I didn't figure it out until the latter half of the 2005 trial. I was about 10 or 11 when it happened, and I remember just being so confused about the whole thing, in part because I was so young and because I just couldn't understand how anyone could accuse him of anything as heinous as that. In my experience, it was incredibly isolating being an MJ fan at the time, because people my age hated him and bullied me for it while the only other MJ fans I knew were all adults, and the only thing in common we had was our love for Michael lol. That was fine by me though, because I still had him, his music, and the forums to get me through the hard times. The day Michael was declared innocent of all charges, my heart soared. I was on the forum all day with other fans celebrating, I remember we even had a little party in the chatrooms where we stayed up almost all night having fun.

Ahhh those were the good ol' days.

When he passed....Man, that was hard. I had been feeling all anxious the night before, but I didn't know why. The morning of, I was on the computer when my mom came in and told me what happened. I didn't believe her at first, though, there was just no way. Then I turned on the news and started obsessively checking the fan forums, and as the reports came in, my heart sunk to my stomach. Even when Jermaine announced it on tv, I still couldn't believe it. It was just too surreal. I was completely despondent at first, and it wasn't until I heard Paris speak at the live public memorial did it finally sink in. I cried and cried and cried.

So yes, what is it about Michael that has got us in such a chokehold? For me, he's always had such a huge influence on my life. To this day, his story has been my inspiration. In a way, I guess you can say that he helped shape me into the person I am today. Through him, I've learned how to believe in myself and my dreams, how to be strong and get through those difficult times gracefully, with a smile. His heart, compassion, and humanity have all made me want to do better, be better. There really isn't anyone who can even come close to holding a candle to him.

TL;DR - No, I'm afraid the obsession never really ends. Once you catch Jackson Fever, you never recover again! The only treatment is to listen to his entire discography, watch every video you can find, and swoon.

aww thank you so much for responding to this! First, I am so glad you enjoyed reading all of the conversation so far. It's been so wonderful to share with other people. I am sure for a longtime fan it feels kind of like reminiscing to see how excited people are about your favorite artist! It makes me so happy hearing from fans who have been around for a long time because it makes me feel like I am joining something really special (most people don't say all that enthusiastic about a particular artist for very long unless they are TRULY special).

I still haven't watched Moonwalker!!! I have seen most of the videos in it, of course, and I saw a scene of him turning into a robot I think? But otherwise I have not seen any of it and I'm so excited to! I think it's on YouTube. That's awesome that the vhs still works haha. I can absolutely see how you would think he was actual magic lol. I am hoping to have a child in the next year or two and I am already fantasizing about ways I can get my kids obsessed with MJ and I've already imagined that Moonwalker might be the way to go haha. PS: Does this make me sound
crazy? lol

17 years to be a part of the online fan community is WILD! So cool though. It breaks my heart that it was difficult socially to deal with what was going on with MJ in the 2000s. But it warms my heart so much to imagine all of his fans on here talking and staying up all night after the trial. How beautiful! I can't even stand reading about his death, so I am not going to say a lot about that. But so, so painful to imagine

Oh yes....Michael's grace, compassion, and humanity are the things that set him truly apart from everyone else. He feels otherworldly in some ways. He is so inspirational, but in ways that you wouldn't expect. He makes me want to be kinder and give more to the world. I'm not a musician but I'm a writer and when I found out that he would write 60-70 songs for an album and narrow it to 8-9 that was extremely inspiring to me too. But mostly he makes me want to embrace my life and expand myself. It's remarkable that an artist can have such an effect!

Thank you so much for sharing all that you did! And thank you for telling me that this Jackson Fever will never go away! I don't want it to. I just want to simmer in it as long as possible <3

 

[MacMandy90]

@staywild23
Oh you need to see Moonwalker! You won't be disappointed!

 

[staywild23]

@staywild23
Oh you need to see Moonwalker! You won't be disappointed!

I am genuinely really excited about it!! For real, the wink he gives the little girl during the Smooth Criminal video is the stuff my dreams are made of lol

 

[MacMandy90]

I am genuinely really excited about it!! For real, the wink he gives the little girl during the Smooth Criminal video is the stuff my dreams are made of lol

Lol I totally agree with you lol

 

[staywild23]

https://media0.giphy.com/media/8UhG...uc1hk7rulehk52zk9ykq7i8rph&rid=giphy.gif&ct=g

 

[OhButItsRed]

It really warms my heart of how there are still many fans and newer ones that really love Michael! I knew how that felt to be an isolated fan in my younger years, it was really tough but being able to immerse myself with other fellow Moonwalkers gives me such joy to know that. When the trial happened I was about 14, I was glued to the tv, hoping and praying for him and by god I was over the moon on the acquittal! I couldn't for the life of me as to why people could be so greedy and cruel. Then summer before my senior year of high school I was in the process of moving when I saw the news that Michael passed...I felt it was like a cruel joke, I was on my knees crying my eyes out, and the day of my grandpa's birthday was the memorial service on tv, I broke down to see Paris speak, and it was hard to watch the service, I felt that it was out of respect. It's still surreal to this day to get over the grief, but I know that his legacy still lives on and the memories of his grace, smile, and all of the above keeps me going, and all of us moonwalkers.

Awww MacMandy, I know how you feel, it's so beautiful coming together like this and just reminiscing. It just goes to show that Michael could really bring all sorts of people together

So, so grateful to have been apart of this fandom for so long, through all the good times and the bad.

 

[OhButItsRed]

aww thank you so much for responding to this! First, I am so glad you enjoyed reading all of the conversation so far. It's been so wonderful to share with other people. I am sure for a longtime fan it feels kind of like reminiscing to see how excited people are about your favorite artist! It makes me so happy hearing from fans who have been around for a long time because it makes me feel like I am joining something really special (most people don't say all that enthusiastic about a particular artist for very long unless they are TRULY special).

I still haven't watched Moonwalker!!! I have seen most of the videos in it, of course, and I saw a scene of him turning into a robot I think? But otherwise I have not seen any of it and I'm so excited to! I think it's on YouTube. That's awesome that the vhs still works haha. I can absolutely see how you would think he was actual magic lol. I am hoping to have a child in the next year or two and I am already fantasizing about ways I can get my kids obsessed with MJ and I've already imagined that Moonwalker might be the way to go haha. PS: Does this make me sound
crazy? lol

17 years to be a part of the online fan community is WILD! So cool though. It breaks my heart that it was difficult socially to deal with what was going on with MJ in the 2000s. But it warms my heart so much to imagine all of his fans on here talking and staying up all night after the trial. How beautiful! I can't even stand reading about his death, so I am not going to say a lot about that. But so, so painful to imagine

Oh yes....Michael's grace, compassion, and humanity are the things that set him truly apart from everyone else. He feels otherworldly in some ways. He is so inspirational, but in ways that you wouldn't expect. He makes me want to be kinder and give more to the world. I'm not a musician but I'm a writer and when I found out that he would write 60-70 songs for an album and narrow it to 8-9 that was extremely inspiring to me too. But mostly he makes me want to embrace my life and expand myself. It's remarkable that an artist can have such an effect!

Thank you so much for sharing all that you did! And thank you for telling me that this Jackson Fever will never go away! I don't want it to. I just want to simmer in it as long as possible <3

Aww it's my pleasure, really. Yes, reading through all of the replies just really takes me back to those times and makes me feel like I'm just discovering him all over again from a new perspective lol. As for the feeling of becoming apart of something special, oh yes, I can definitely say you are. Moonwalkers really are something so genuinely special

Oh yes, you have to watch Moonwalker!!! I watch the one on YouTube every now and then, and it still feels exactly the same as it did when I was little. So magical. It's the perfect way to get any kids addicted! Lots of cool special effects and animation to keep them entertained, especially during the Speed Demon segment lol. Don't even get me started on all of his looks throughout the whole movie, cus everytime I think about 'em I just *swoon*

10000/10, would recommend

And yeah, I really can't believe it's been 17 years already! Time flew by so fast, it's like I blinked and suddenly I'm 27 lol. And I know how you feel, Michael was just so extraordinary in that special way, everything he did, from his work ethic to his generosity was just so out of this world. He just had this effect on everyone, it's really incredible.

And again, it was my pleasure! Thank you for opening up such a wonderful opportunity to share!

Simmer away! Don't try to fight it, there ain't nothing that you can do

 

[Hiker]

First -- I just want to say I'm so sorry about whatever life event has happened that led you to a dark place. I've seen you mention it in a different thread, so I know it must be something really profound. Idk if this is weird or not, but I just wanted to offer that if you ever need someone (a total stranger in fact) to talk to about whatever happened, I am certainly an option! I've had many, many dark stretches of life and some really traumatizing stretches that I've been in recovery with. I am very compassionate to these kinds of life-changing things that knock the wind completely out of us, even if I don't relate to all of them. Anyway, I just wanted to mention that...

Thank you so much. I am sorry, I must have talked too much about it, but its something so much in my head right now, I am going to forgive myself. Now that I have processed things and verbalized lot of things, its not something dark. Its just how I am taking it. I am having extremely hard time accepting end of a 20 year relationship. And things were really stressful at work, so I was feeling crushed from all directions. I was going through days like a zombie, hopeless. Michael expressed everything I was feeling in "Don't walk away".
I went to therapy and then fired the therapist because she told me that I need to let go and move on. That's when Michael entered my life and things started to change. I don't know how, but he made me realize I had lost so much of myself just trying to make things work that I was not me anymore. Oh there is so much I have to say about role he played in changing my mind and how crazy it is, but I am not going to bore everyone with that. I guess I needed something else to obsess about to think clearly. Now I can see light at end of the tunnel.
Honestly, this forum also helped. Being able to talk to people with similar "obsession", being excited about discovering new music is awesome. I love learning new stuff, and I have so many new music related words in my vocabulary.

Its been amazing to read the effect Michael has on other people. I am not alone, I am not the only crazy one! There is definitely something outoftheworld about him to have such strong effect on people after being gone from this work for so long.

 

[staywild23]

Thank you so much. I am sorry, I must have talked too much about it, but its something so much in my head right now, I am going to forgive myself.

Nooo, please don't think that!! I was not at all trying to say that! I just think I saw one of your first posts when you said you were going through some hard stuff and Michael helped you. That's all. You definitely aren't talking about it too much, or doing anything wrong with that. I'm sorry if I made you feel self-conscious at all, because that wasn't my intention!

Thank you for sharing everything you did here. If it means anything, in my opinion having a 20 year relationship end (no matter what the reason) is a HUGE shift in life that may not always feel fully dark, but is certainly enough to shake someone to their core! Having a relationship of any length end can be truly devastating. But the length of growing alongside of another person and to have that end is life-altering. That alone is so much to bear, and then when you add to that the other life circumstances....phew. It sounds like a lot and it sounds really hard. I'm sorry you've been going through so much. But I am so happy that you found Michael during this time and he has given you so much joy and happiness. I can absolutely see how Michael could help you realize that you had lost who you were. I think his authenticity and purity has something to do with that. He's helped me align more with who I want to be and what I care about in life! So i absolutely get this.

And yessss I agree! Finding other people who love Michael and share this obsession (it doesn't even need to be put in quotes in my situation lol) is really affirming. Seeing how his impact has sustained even 13 years after his death. Generating new fans and reigniting old ones. I am just so happy that we have him and his music. Last night I watched some videos fo him visiting orphanages (per the recommendation of someone else in this thread) and it made me feel so much. It's like he can stimulate every part of my being to the fullest degree!

Anyway, thank you for opening up and sharing this stuff. I am just so glad that you are in a better place now and coming through those difficult times. Building connections always helps...plus this is the reason why human beings need art and music! Both are so tremendously important to our survival!

 

[Hiker]

Nooo, please don't think that!! I was not at all trying to say that! I just think I saw one of your first posts when you said you were going through some hard stuff and Michael helped you. That's all. You definitely aren't talking about it too much, or doing anything wrong with that. I'm sorry if I made you feel self-conscious at all, because that wasn't my intention!

Nah, its all me. I am just too hesitant to talk about my life. This is the second time (third if you count my letter to Michael ) I have verbalized it. And when I told my long time friend that I think its over, she was like - girl! I have been waiting for 10 years for you to tell me that! 10 years! I tried so hard to hold on to some stupid dream! Oh well, we live and we learn.

Back to thread's topic, I have also been thinking what is it about Michael, and I think lot of it also got to do with the bad treatment he received from media. That somehow made him more human and vulnerable in eyes of his fans as oppose to that god like celebrity. They defended him, they connected even more with him. Long time fans say the same here also.

 

[zinniabooklover]

Oooooh sorry, that was my own misunderstanding! Thanks for explaining!

Also, I am so glad that you are feeling both Blood on the Tracks AND Desire! I agree - Isis is an amazing song. Also, Idiot Wind is probably my actual favorite song on Blood on the Tracks and definitely in my top 5 favorite Dylan songs. It is an AMAZING song. And his vocal delivery is really pointed and emotional. I love it! Yay for spreading the Dylan love!!

I definitely respect not wanting to watch the Oprah interview! Just if you ever change your mind, let me know haha

I have not looked at the clips of Michal visiting the Russian orphanage in 93 or Paris in 97!! I'm so excited to search for them! I have seen several compilations of his humanitarian work, so perhaps I've seen a clip from those? Either way, i just love seeing him doing that work. Also I am obsssseesssssssed with the Ebony Jet interview from 1987! I mean, the content is fantastic. It is actually a *respectful* interview about his craft, honoring him and the things he cares about, etc. I've seen it probably 10 times lol. A big part, I will admit, is the whole being in love with him bit lol. It's hard to resist an interview in which he looks THAT good (though I absolutely promise, I care about what he has to say even more!). I *think* I watched the MTV interview from 99...that reminds me though, have you ever listened to the Rolling Stone Interview from 2001/02? I can't remember exactly when it was. But It's almost an hour and it's on YouTube. There is no video, just audio. It's really good! Very in depth.

I have watched the entirety of the Mexico depositions at least once, possibly twice, and watched certain segments multiple times. Did I mention I'm obsessed with him? Lol It's bad.

Oh watch all of the BOW outtakes! There are some clear best parts of that whole 25-30 minute special, but I just love him in the entire thing. Also, I have not watched the making of SIM at all yet! I definitely will.

I am glad to hear you say you watched TII a lot because I hear a lot of mixed reviews/feelings about it from other fans. I know it was a very complex situation and there may be some very serious issues with that movie. But I am very interested in watching that someday!

There you go, have a bunch of flowers. I now have Isis on heavy rotation. Very happy. Although the sleeve notes are rubbish so that was a bit frustrating. Never mind, I have the songs which is what counts.

OK, Bob's forthcoming book. No, I don't think it's very likely that he'll include a Michael song. Even if he's just picking 60 songs that were released in his lifetime that's still thousands of songs. So it doesn't seem very likely, does it? Which Michael song would I like to see included? Hard to choose cos I don't know what criteria Bob is using. I decided to pick just from songs Michael wrote himself. Not because I have any issues with him co-writing songs or recording songs written by other people. He gets a lot of flak for that and I can never understand why. I think it's one of his strengths as a performer that he will sing other people's material or collaborate with other creative people. He's like a walking musical universe. I just thought if I had a smaller pool of songs to choose from it would be a little bit easier.

It really wasn't, lol.

Anyway, my contenders are (in no particular order):

Little Susie
Smooth Criminal
WBSS

I wanted to include Be Not Always but it's not clear to me whether he wrote that one alone or co-wrote it with a brother. Maybe I should drop the 'solo writing credit' thing and then I could include We've Had Enough. Hm. This is not easy.

Bob and fame. Yeah, he's had a horrible time of it. He hasn't been as famous as Michael or had the global reach but I actually think he's been scrutinised more than Michael. Or at least as much, anyway. I mean, the whole motorcycle accident thing, we'll never really know the true story there - and I don't think we need to - but if it was staged (which it probably was) it shows how bad things had got for him even at that early stage. He's always been so upfront about how much he hates all the fame nonsense but they still don't leave him alone.

I agree that Michael is underrated in every area. So frustrating. He's definitely underrated as a backing vocalist, imo. I'm slightly obsessed with backing vocals and Michael's are always stunning but don't seem to get much attention from journalists even when they are praising the rest of his work. Just seems weird to me.

So you've watched the Mexico depo twice? Wow. That's hardcore. I can't cope with too much of it after the first hour because of the nasty lawyer (yeah, I know I'm being childish calling him 'nasty' and I know he's only doing his job but it's just so hard to watch that part). That said, I'm so glad the footage is available. I mean, the whole thing is ridiculous, it's nonsense on stilts but there is also loads of cool stuff in there so, yay!

Michael in a biker jacket. Mm, yes please.

 

[mysterygirl7]

Do you mean you met him? Or that he touched you emotionally? lol.

Yes, met….

 

[Hiker]

Yes, met….

You cannot leave it at that! You have to tell more, where, how? Of course if you want to. We can only live vicariously.

 

[somewhereinthedark]

Whew... I have so many feelings and so much to say lol. Let me attempt to express myself...

I am a woman in my early 30s and, obviously, I have known about Michael Jackson my entire life. He's one of those few people you don't even remember not knowing about. He's that much a part of the cultural fabric. However, I came of age during the 2000s and that was a difficult time for Michael so, needless to say, my understanding of him was hardly fair. I had a best friend in high school who was obsessed with him, but never made much effort to introduce me to his music. Yet despite my lack of real understanding of him, I still remember where I was when I found out he died and how strange it made me feel to imagine a world without him in it. I wasn't a fan, but I understood it was a massive loss and shift in the universe. I didn't know anything about him and, as someone who has never been a fan of pop music, I was in no real rush to learn about him. This is where I was coming from in early January 2022...and oh how much has changed since then!

It all started when I stumbled upon a random reel on Facebook of Michael dancing. I want to say it was a brief moonwalk compilation, or clip of a Billie Jean performance. I'm not sure. I just remember being blown away. Like, legitimately thinking, how the F is Michael Jackson this amazing? (as if I should have expected anything less than mind-blowing, c'mon past self). This led to scrolling through a few more of these videos, eventually jumping over to Google and searching things like "which songs include the moonwalk" and "Michael Jackson's best performances," then a YouTube binge of Billie Jean, followed by more Billie Jean, followed by the Superbowl performance, followed by everything else I could find. I was stunned. How could I have never realized how incredible this man was? How did I never realize how incredibly cool, smooth, and swag he was? How did I get through life not knowing how sexy he was? This turned into bingeing more and more videos, more and more Google searches, discovering (unfortunately) the existence of LN and feeling concerned about it, joining the MJ subreddit and learning more (and feeling less concerned about it), more YouTube, SO MANY LIVE performances, reading Moonwalk, reading Dancing the Dream, literally dancing the dream around my house blaring his music and deafening everyone around me, buying more books about him, scouring every record shop around me to find Thriller and Bad on vinyl, building and sharing playlists, blasting him all hours, all day long, buying tickets for an April performance of MJ the Musical (yay!) and just generally growing more and more and more obsessed with him in the briefest period of time that anyone has ever grown obsessed with a person. No lie, I wonder sometimes if I'm losing my mind haha!

You all. I'm not kidding. I am ADDICTED to this man. This artist who was in the backdrop of my existence forever and who influenced everything and everyone, but who I somehow knew nothing about. I am fully and thoroughly addicted to him. I legitimately cannot stop, because I cannot get enough of him! hahah I find it hard to concentrate because I literally want to listen to him every waking moment. During breaks between teaching classes, I pump myself up by watching his performances. I am sending his videos to everyone I know, trying to get them to understand (it's worked in a few cases haha). But like...will this ever end? Because I'm 33 years old and I did not sign up to fall in love with a celebrity at this age lol. Especially because I truly am not someone who has ever obsessed over celebrities in my entire life. Seriously. This is not normal for me at all.

So that's a good question - what is it about Michael Jackson, you guys? How does he do this to a person? No musician has ever had this affect on me. My love for his dancing, which is objectively the most incredible, dynamic, and sexy dancing I've ever seen, my love for his voice, which is the most beautiful, dynamic, emotive voice I've ever heard, his PERSONALITY which is just so kind, loving, generous...his APPEARANCE -- holy shit, I had no idea. After a lifetime of media propaganda telling me this man wasn't attractive, I am stunned on a daily basis by how ridiculously hot he is. He is insanely sexy and my mind and body can't comprehend it. I could literally write 1,000 words just about how attractive he is, but I will spare you all lol.

I know he's not perfect. I'm not trying to say he is. Please understand I am in my early stages of fandom. But since I've never felt this way about anyone else, I'm genuinely just baffled by how passionately I feel about him. I have cried for him multiple times, so pained by his pain I can't stand it. So much undeserved suffering. Ugh. But on the other hand, he fills me with the most complete joy and has inspired me so much to pursue doing good in the world and embrace my creativity (which I have neglected for too long). In short, I just feel so blessed to have developed this totally unexpected obsession with him. What a talented, beautiful, sensitive, force of nature wrapped up in such a fantastically compelling and lovely human being.

I am mostly posting this just to share my feelings about him because where else can I go this crazy but a fan forum! haha But I would love to hear from other people about how you came to love Michael and if I can ever expect this obsession to fade (at the moment I don't even want it to, but y'know, I gotta live a life).

But in all seriousness, I really just want to GUSH about him and I'd love to be joined by anyone else who feels like straight up GUSHING over him too!

I know what you’re feeling. I’ve had the same feeling for over 40 years and it has only INCREASED over the years. I’ve never been able to explain it.

 

[staywild23]

Aww it's my pleasure, really. Yes, reading through all of the replies just really takes me back to those times and makes me feel like I'm just discovering him all over again from a new perspective lol. As for the feeling of becoming apart of something special, oh yes, I can definitely say you are. Moonwalkers really are something so genuinely special

Oh yes, you have to watch Moonwalker!!! I watch the one on YouTube every now and then, and it still feels exactly the same as it did when I was little. So magical. It's the perfect way to get any kids addicted! Lots of cool special effects and animation to keep them entertained, especially during the Speed Demon segment lol. Don't even get me started on all of his looks throughout the whole movie, cus everytime I think about 'em I just *swoon*

10000/10, would recommend

And yeah, I really can't believe it's been 17 years already! Time flew by so fast, it's like I blinked and suddenly I'm 27 lol. And I know how you feel, Michael was just so extraordinary in that special way, everything he did, from his work ethic to his generosity was just so out of this world. He just had this effect on everyone, it's really incredible.

And again, it was my pleasure! Thank you for opening up such a wonderful opportunity to share!

Sorry I didn't reply the other day! I got absorbed in the sexy threads haha. It's honestly so fun to just indulge in this fandom because I have NEVER done this before. I've never connected with other people over an artist, or any kind of entertainment that I am a fan of. Having people to share it with is so delightful! Especially when we are on the same level of our love for him lol. I know a lot of his fans get annoyed by how obsessive some of us are, but I don't know any other way to be lol.

I will definitely watch Moonwalker! I really feel sad that I didn't see it as a child. I was born in '88 - I easily could have grown up with more Micahel memories had my parents cared about me at all lol (I'm saying this facetiously, of course). I do remember my dad teaching me about Michael though. He told me about Beat It, Bad, the glove, and the moonwalk and I remember trying to moonwalk all over the house lol. My parents were never big pop fans though, so we never listened to his music in my house. I think they both thought he was cool though. Since indulging in this Michael obsession I've asked both of my parents what they thought of him during the 80s and 90s and both said they thought he was really amazing and didn't believe any of the bad stories about him, but also that they didn't pay attention to him. Whatever that means. All I know is they failed me and I won't forget lol.

ANYWAY - Moonwalker! Yes. I am definitely going to watch it. I really want my future children to become obsessed with it like you did so I can watch it over and over with them lol. You mentioned swooning at his looks throughout the movie (girl, same) and so I'm wondering, did you have a crush on him as a kid? Or did that develop as an adult person?

Simmer away! Don't try to fight it, there ain't nothing that you can do

As if I could!!! haha

 

[staywild23]

Nah, its all me. I am just too hesitant to talk about my life. This is the second time (third if you count my letter to Michael ) I have verbalized it. And when I told my long time friend that I think its over, she was like - girl! I have been waiting for 10 years for you to tell me that! 10 years! I tried so hard to hold on to some stupid dream! Oh well, we live and we learn.

Back to thread's topic, I have also been thinking what is it about Michael, and I think lot of it also got to do with the bad treatment he received from media. That somehow made him more human and vulnerable in eyes of his fans as oppose to that god like celebrity. They defended him, they connected even more with him. Long time fans say the same here also.

Aww I understand this completely. I'm the same way - I really don't open up a lot. But I am glad that you are verbalizing it and I think it's so sweet you wrote in a letter to him about it. I really do understand that. I am so glad that if this was a relationship that needed to come to an end it finally did! You are not alone with those kinds of dreams of hanging onto things that don't work the way they should. I think many of us have been there, for varying lengths of time, of course. It's understandable why it was so hard and continues to be. I am just glad you were able to find another place to put your attention and energy that is genuinely bringing you joy! The offer still stands if you ever need someone to talk to

As for what you said about Michael's treatment from the media - I 100% agree with you. I mean, I think what happened to him must have divided his fan base on some level. Some people who just loved his music probably abandoned him. Others who loved all of what he was (the humanitarian work, his personality, his ethics and everything he stood for, in addition to his performance and musicianship) I would imagine stood by him even more. I think it may have made him seem more human. But I also think it maybe triggered something in people who loved him too, like a sort of desire to protect him and give him love. I also think that, for me, the more I learn about who Michael was as a human being, the more I think he was so deeply worthy of love and affection and loyalty. I know what happened to him triggers a lot of pain in me about things I've been a victim of and traumas I have endured. For example, watching his message from Neverland about the photos taken of him during the '93 allegations shatters me. His pain and trauma from that experience feels so reminiscent of my own pain and trauma. I ache for him in a way I can't even articulate. I think deeply sensitive people see themselves in him. I relate to him in so many ways, especially after reading his memoir and his poetry book. I feel thinks similarly to how he does and I know that I would for sure have broken beneath the weight of what he endured. He was an incredibly strong person.

 

[staywild23]

There you go, have a bunch of flowers. I now have Isis on heavy rotation. Very happy. Although the sleeve notes are rubbish so that was a bit frustrating. Never mind, I have the songs which is what counts.

OK, Bob's forthcoming book. No, I don't think it's very likely that he'll include a Michael song. Even if he's just picking 60 songs that were released in his lifetime that's still thousands of songs. So it doesn't seem very likely, does it? Which Michael song would I like to see included? Hard to choose cos I don't know what criteria Bob is using. I decided to pick just from songs Michael wrote himself. Not because I have any issues with him co-writing songs or recording songs written by other people. He gets a lot of flak for that and I can never understand why. I think it's one of his strengths as a performer that he will sing other people's material or collaborate with other creative people. He's like a walking musical universe. I just thought if I had a smaller pool of songs to choose from it would be a little bit easier.

It really wasn't, lol.

Anyway, my contenders are (in no particular order):

Little Susie
Smooth Criminal
WBSS

I wanted to include Be Not Always but it's not clear to me whether he wrote that one alone or co-wrote it with a brother. Maybe I should drop the 'solo writing credit' thing and then I could include We've Had Enough. Hm. This is not easy.

Bob and fame. Yeah, he's had a horrible time of it. He hasn't been as famous as Michael or had the global reach but I actually think he's been scrutinised more than Michael. Or at least as much, anyway. I mean, the whole motorcycle accident thing, we'll never really know the true story there - and I don't think we need to - but if it was staged (which it probably was) it shows how bad things had got for him even at that early stage. He's always been so upfront about how much he hates all the fame nonsense but they still don't leave him alone.

I agree that Michael is underrated in every area. So frustrating. He's definitely underrated as a backing vocalist, imo. I'm slightly obsessed with backing vocals and Michael's are always stunning but don't seem to get much attention from journalists even when they are praising the rest of his work. Just seems weird to me.

So you've watched the Mexico depo twice? Wow. That's hardcore. I can't cope with too much of it after the first hour because of the nasty lawyer (yeah, I know I'm being childish calling him 'nasty' and I know he's only doing his job but it's just so hard to watch that part). That said, I'm so glad the footage is available. I mean, the whole thing is ridiculous, it's nonsense on stilts but there is also loads of cool stuff in there so, yay!

Michael in a biker jacket. Mm, yes please.

Yeah, I don't think Bob will analyze one of Michael's songs. Not because he has anything against him, but because I know Bob's musical tastes don't generally go super mainstream. I expect, especially given the title, that he will work through a lot of folk music, country, and blues that were influential to him and that he sees as the pinnacle of American songwriting. So a lot of people not known to the general public. I am guessing a lot of Black artists from the 1940s-60s who he was heavily influenced by in songwriting style. Certainly some Woody Guthrie too. For more mainstream artists I envision The Beatles, Joni Mitchell, Bruce Springsteen, Neil Young, and I'm sure some rap artists, especially from the 80s/90s because I think he's a fan of rap. I am really curious if he will look at any more contemporary artists.

If he were to choose some Michael songs, I think Wanna Be Startin' Something is a great contender! The lyrics are so interesting and they reflect some of his feelings about the press too. But I can also see him analyzing a song like Leave Me Alone (which I personally think is about a toxic romantic relationship, and only portrayed as being about the press in the short film) or any number of songs off of the HIStory album. I could also see him talking about We are the World since he participated in it and it had such a profound cultural impact. I would love to see him talk about Jam! That's a current favorite of mine.

You're totally right. Bob never dealt with even a shred of what Michael did in terms of fame. But he was still a massive artist who had a lot of harassment from press and fans. I always loved that near the height of his popularity, when people were begging for new music, he put out an album of cover songs LOL. I feel like it was such a trolling move, because he was known primarily for his songwriting. I just love that about him. In a way that I absolutely adore how Michael cared so much about his fans and catered to them so purely, I also love how much Bob didn't care lol. I know he values his fans, but ultimately, he did what he wanted and didn't really care about backlash. For that reason alone I can see Bob writing about Michael. Because Michael is absolutely underrated as a songwriter, so having someone like Bob Dylan write about his songwriting would really be wonderful!

Oh you are SO right about him being underrated as a background vocalist! I never even thought about that before. But I watched a video recently of someone analyzing the background vocals of Thriller (also analyzing his actual lead singing) and I was blown away. The stripped down versions of the songs on YouTube - such as the various acapella uploads - emphasize his artistry so profoundly. No one was like him. I just want him to get all of the accolades and all of the attention, now and forever lol.

Yeah, I am an absolute freak for watching the Mexico deposition more than once. I don't know what to say lol. I love to watch him and I love listening to his voice. Half the time I find him unbearable hot and the rest of the time I find him so charmingly adorable. It's very confusing how he is all one person lol.

 

[staywild23]

I know what you’re feeling. I’ve had the same feeling for over 40 years and it has only INCREASED over the years. I’ve never been able to explain it.

aww thank you for sharing this!!! I have wondered so many times how long this obsession is going to last me, but from what everyone keeps telling me, I imagine it is going to last forever and I'm very ok with that!

40 years! That means you have been a fan since Thriller times? Amazing You're so lucky! haha

 

[OhButItsRed]

Sorry I didn't reply the other day! I got absorbed in the sexy threads haha. It's honestly so fun to just indulge in this fandom because I have NEVER done this before. I've never connected with other people over an artist, or any kind of entertainment that I am a fan of. Having people to share it with is so delightful! Especially when we are on the same level of our love for him lol. I know a lot of his fans get annoyed by how obsessive some of us are, but I don't know any other way to be lol.

I will definitely watch Moonwalker! I really feel sad that I didn't see it as a child. I was born in '88 - I easily could have grown up with more Micahel memories had my parents cared about me at all lol (I'm saying this facetiously, of course). I do remember my dad teaching me about Michael though. He told me about Beat It, Bad, the glove, and the moonwalk and I remember trying to moonwalk all over the house lol. My parents were never big pop fans though, so we never listened to his music in my house. I think they both thought he was cool though. Since indulging in this Michael obsession I've asked both of my parents what they thought of him during the 80s and 90s and both said they thought he was really amazing and didn't believe any of the bad stories about him, but also that they didn't pay attention to him. Whatever that means. All I know is they failed me and I won't forget lol.

ANYWAY - Moonwalker! Yes. I am definitely going to watch it. I really want my future children to become obsessed with it like you did so I can watch it over and over with them lol. You mentioned swooning at his looks throughout the movie (girl, same) and so I'm wondering, did you have a crush on him as a kid? Or did that develop as an adult person?


As if I could!!! haha

Lmao, that's okay! I completely understand, I'm probably just as excited to finally have people within my age range to properly fangirl with

And yeah, my parents are similar. My mom was never really big on music trends, but my dad was always a music lover (used to play guitar in a band, actually. Tried to teach me too, but I never had the patience for it.) and always had some J5 or Thriller era songs in his collection. Neither of them really paid Michael much mind besides that though...until me, of course, lmao. But hey, even if your parents didn't really follow his career, I'm just happy to hear that they never believed any of the bad stuff that was out there about him.

And ohhhh girl, yes. I was definitely in love with him as a little girl, 100%. I fully remember watching and thinking "wow he's so good-looking....I really wanna marry him" and just being fully convinced that I would. That's probably half the reason why I would rewatch that tape so much, I was just trying to figure out why he was so handsome

 

[staywild23]

Lmao, that's okay! I completely understand, I'm probably just as excited to finally have people within my age range to properly fangirl with

And yeah, my parents are similar. My mom was never really big on music trends, but my dad was always a music lover (used to play guitar in a band, actually. Tried to teach me too, but I never had the patience for it.) and always had some J5 or Thriller era songs in his collection. Neither of them really paid Michael much mind besides that though...until me, of course, lmao. But hey, even if your parents didn't really follow his career, I'm just happy to hear that they never believed any of the bad stuff that was out there about him.

And ohhhh girl, yes. I was definitely in love with him as a little girl, 100%. I fully remember watching and thinking "wow he's so good-looking....I really wanna marry him" and just being fully convinced that I would. That's probably half the reason why I would rewatch that tape so much, I was just trying to figure out why he was so handsome

LOL I totally get that! I am straight up delighted by how many young fans he has now and the older fans that have stuck with him. But it's wonderful that a group of us are in the same age range and being wild about him. It's everything I need right now lol.

Ahh yeah, that's very similar to my upbringing actually! We did listen to a lot of Jackson 5 actually. I remember as a kid thinking they were a current band and having a big crush on Michael's voice lol. I also remember my mind was BLOWN when I realized it was THE Michael Jackson singing. I couldn't comprehend that he was both a child star and the biggest superstar in the world. It confused me lol.

hahaha aww I love that story about you as a little girl. That's so adorable! I am sure many, many kids felt the exact same way. I was looking at the YouTube video for Moonwalker the other day and half the comments were saying things like that. So adorable

Honestly, I am currently trying to figure out why he was so handsome! It doesn't make any sense. It also just blows my mind that I was told by the media that he wasn't attractive. I'm not sure how much I even looked at him before, but I just assumed he wasn't because I'd always heard that. When I first got into his music I was watching him perform Dangerous at the AMAs and I was like....ummm...this man is extremely sexy, but like...is it just me? Do other people think this? LOL I actually was confused because it felt like I shouldn't find him so attractive when my whole life I was told not to, do you know what I mean? And then the more I explored his music and performances, the more I was just like...why were they lying to us?! CLEARLY he is not just attractive, but obscenely good looking. I think it was Michael who said that as soon as white girls started losing their shit about him, the media smear campaign began with people calling him weird and gay and stuff because they were so uncomfortable with a black man generating so much attention from white girls. And that totally makes sense, given the culture. But wow. How insane. It's not like his attractiveness is the reason he was so popular, but my God, it didn't hurt lol.

 

[OhButItsRed]

Ahh yeah, that's very similar to my upbringing actually! We did listen to a lot of Jackson 5 actually. I remember as a kid thinking they were a current band and having a big crush on Michael's voice lol. I also remember my mind was BLOWN when I realized it was THE Michael Jackson singing. I couldn't comprehend that he was both a child star and the biggest superstar in the world. It confused me lol.

It's funny that you bring that up actually, because that was also kind of confusing for little me too. For a while, I didn't understand that J5 Michael and Adult Michael were the same person until I watched the Jacksons: An American Dream and finally put two and two together

Honestly, I am currently trying to figure out why he was so handsome! It doesn't make any sense. It also just blows my mind that I was told by the media that he wasn't attractive. I'm not sure how much I even looked at him before, but I just assumed he wasn't because I'd always heard that. When I first got into his music I was watching him perform Dangerous at the AMAs and I was like....ummm...this man is extremely sexy, but like...is it just me? Do other people think this? LOL I actually was confused because it felt like I shouldn't find him so attractive when my whole life I was told not to, do you know what I mean? And then the more I explored his music and performances, the more I was just like...why were they lying to us?! CLEARLY he is not just attractive, but obscenely good looking. I think it was Michael who said that as soon as white girls started losing their shit about him, the media smear campaign began with people calling him weird and gay and stuff because they were so uncomfortable with a black man generating so much attention from white girls. And that totally makes sense, given the culture. But wow. How insane. It's not like his attractiveness is the reason he was so popular, but my God, it didn't hurt lol.

Yes, this! This exactly! I always grew up hearing things like "Oh MJ used to be so handsome before, now he's so ugly" and I was always so shocked to hear it 'cus like....ugly where??? I genuinely never understood where that came from. Like, I feel a majority of the time they were just influenced by something they saw in the media, and not by drawing their own conclusions about him. Michael himself also said that if you hear something enough times, you start to believe it, and unfortunately that was the case for a lot of people when it came to him. The media just could not stand to see a successful black man, and honestly, it was all terribly unfair to him. Michael never deserved any of that.