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Eight Months Today

:(

I'm glad to have found this forum. When Mike passed, I needed to find a place of comfort and a place where I wasn't alone in my feelings of such pain.

Gosh, I remember when I heard the news. I had just started a new job and a co-worker, who was on the internet, found out the news from TMZ and spread the word about what was happening. The news was also spreading to other sites...but not CNN. I then got up, excused myself and walked down that long hallway to the restroom, once inside and alone -I held myself and cried like a baby. After that, I gathered myself and calmly walked back to the office to finish my third day on the job. I couldn't wait 'til that day was over. When I got home, I just stayed curled up in a corner on my bed thinking about my youth and how many times I've watched Moonwalker, and how much of a family member MJ was to me. I thought about how much people didn't understand him and how close of a connection we really had. I also thought about the trials and wondered how could people be so gullible to the media and not think for themselves....Then, I heard the song "Ben" come on CNN and I just cried uncontrollably.

Again, I say all this to say that I'm glad to have found this place. Now I can't go a day without visiting this site. :yes:
 
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It still hurts. I still remember clearly what I was doing and what happened this day eight months ago. It feels just like yesterday and it is a day that I will never forget. A day that I can't ever forget.

Also, it doesn't help that I am mourning a family member who was just buried today. That and Michael's 8 month anniversary has definitely brought down my spirits today. But it still feels like they are both here. They will always be here. :angel:
 
Don't know what's wrong with me today. I'm feeling so down. Today I bought the TII DVD, I shouldn't have started it watching, I cried so much. Oh...Michael... :cry: You should be here, I don't understand why this world had to be so unfair with you. The feeling that you're up there smiling back at us, today doesn't help me to bring me up from this emptiness. I just wish things would have come out a different way. I just wish it was me up there instead of you.
:angel: Lots of love for all of you, we need so much to stay together.
 
:cry: Oh, I love him... :heart: :angel:

About to do Major Love Prayer (every 25th).... it starts in an hour!
 
Miss you and love you endlessly Michael. :( Love to you all.
 
wow 8 months :( almost a year without our angel :( miss u mikeee
 
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I miss you so very much Michael, my heart aches so much...I keep on learning how to carry on without you being here, but although not physically, you live on in my heart and you will forever. I love you more and more every day.

:cry:
 
I can't believe that eight months already passed & that Michael is gone.
I miss him so much and I feel that my love for him only grows more and more.
 
:no: Still to unreal, i remember when my brother told him michael had passed. I didnt believe him. I still have a hard time believing it.
Its so hard, painful...but then I think of all the amazing things Michael has left us with and as much as I wish he was here physically, he will never really be gone!

:angel: to the greatest..we miss you Michael
 
I'm havng a real hard time at the moment too. Not only is it 8 months today but I was supposed to be seeing MJ in concert this coming Monday. Instead I'm going to see We Will Rock You. I should be excited but I just can't stop crying over what should have been. :cry: I still get so angry about both the cruelty Michael suffered and the cruelty of how he was taken from us. I did, however, take a moment today to thank God I was around to witness Billie Jean at Motown 25, the premiere of the Thriller video, the Bad & Dangerous tours.... so many wonderful memories. A guy at work today asked "What song is this?" It was The Girl Is Mine. He hadn't heard it before & said "well, I wasn't born when that came out!" At that point I felt very lucky.

:better:
 
Like many of you guys, things aren't getting better for me at all. I'm not the wreck I was in the first few weeks, but I still feel so desperately empty. It's so upsetting to know that we've lost him forever, and that the rest of our lives will be spent in a world without him. This is something I just cannot accept. The whole situation is too stupid, too absurd, too tragic to come to terms with. I painfully need him, I need his presence on Earth. I'm not even talking about his music or about him performing or anything, simply knowing he was somewhere enjoying life with his kids was enough for me.

I don't know how I'll ever get over his death, because the truth is I don't think I even want to. I'm filled with this grueling pain and anger, and for some reason I'm unwilling to let go of those feelings and try to move on, because if I did, I feel as if I'd be abandoning Michael. There are simple little things that I haven't done since MJ died, for the same reasons. I just constantly want to punch someone for what's happened... I know this sounds ridiculous and that sulking for the rest of my life will never bring Michael back, but right now I can't let go.

Love and best wishes to all of you, I hope we'll pull through eventually.
 
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bowen9999 said:
I'm havng a real hard time at the moment too. Not only is it 8 months today but I was supposed to be seeing MJ in concert this coming Monday. Instead I'm going to see We Will Rock You. I should be excited but I just can't stop crying over what should have been. :cry: I still get so angry about both the cruelty Michael suffered and the cruelty of how he was taken from us. I did, however, take a moment today to thank God I was around to witness Billie Jean at Motown 25, the premiere of the Thriller video, the Bad & Dangerous tours.... so many wonderful memories. A guy at work today asked "What song is this?" It was The Girl Is Mine. He hadn't heard it before & said "well, I wasn't born when that came out!" At that point I felt very lucky.

:better:
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You are indeed very lucky. What I would have given to see mike live. oh god. Another great i will never get the chance to see. I missed out on freddy mercury, now michael :'(. But thats me being selfish, I still have his music, and i'm great-full to him for providing me with a name (ben) =]. I remember exactly what i was doing this time 8 months ago. I was staying up late on my laptop and i flicked the telly on, then on bbc there was an emergancy broadcast (think it was bbc anyway) and they had a live feed outside mikes home. i was glued. i was actually praying that he would be alright, but clearly it didnt come true :'(. i was actually really sad, even though i wasnt a hardcore fan, i was so upset. But i've fallen in love with his music, and i guess im now trying to catch up with all the legendary music he created, it really is beautiful stuff =]
 
My god... eight months already... feels like it just happened yesterday :sigh:

Missin' you and thinkin' of you everyday Mike... love you.
 
I hate this date! :cry:

I still haven't watched my dvd, I keep going to open it but I just close it back up, I just can't watch it.. :(

bowen9999 said:
I'm havng a real hard time at the moment too. Not only is it 8 months today but I was supposed to be seeing MJ in concert this coming Monday. Instead I'm going to see We Will Rock You. I should be excited but I just can't stop crying over what should have been. :cry:
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:hug: I hope Monday is as best as it can be for you.

I've been through that twice. The days my dreams would come true just spent thinking of what could and should have been. :(
 
ohhh how I miss him :cry: I LOVE YOU MICHAEL! SOO MUCH! :cry: :heart:




:eek: Symphony? MICHAEL Wrote that????


L.O.V.E.
Romi


EDIT:

Have you read "So the Elephants March" From Dancing the Dream? It got me in tears right now :cry: Michael KNEW it, he had the Key on how to live life...he was/is AMAZING!
 
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earthlyme said:
ohhh how I miss him :cry: I LOVE YOU MICHAEL! SOO MUCH! :cry: :heart:





:eek: Symphony? MICHAEL Wrote that????


L.O.V.E.
Romi
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Michael wrote the poem 'Mark of the Ancients.' Its in Dancing the Dream. The song is called The Sheltering Sky by Richard Horowitz:

Mark of the Ancients

He had lived in the desert all his life, but for me it was all new. "See that footprint in the sand?" he asked, pointing to a spot by the cliff. I looked as close as I could. "No, I don't see anything."
"That's just the point." He laughed. "Where you can't see a print, that's where the Ancient Ones walked."
We went on a little farther, and he pointed to an opening, high up on the sandstone wall. "See that house up there?" he asked. I squinted hard. "There's nothing to see."
"You're a good student." He smiled. "Where there's no roof or chimney, that's where the Ancient Ones are most likely to have lived."
We rounded a bend, and before us was spread a fabulous sight — thousands upon thousands of desert flowers in bloom. "Can you see any missing?" he asked me. I shook my head. "It's just wave after wave of loveliness."
"Yes," he said in a low voice. "Where nothing is missing, that's where the Ancient Ones harvested the most."
I thought about all this, about how generations had once lived in harmony with the earth, leaving no marks to scar the places they inhabited. At camp that night I said, "You left out one thing."
"What's that?" he asked.
"Where are the Ancient Ones buried?"
Without reply, he poked his stick into the fire. A bright flame shot up, licked the air, and disappeared. My teacher gave me a glance to ask if I understood this lesson. I sat very still, and my silence told him I did.
 
People wont get over MJ's passing if people keep reminding them of it, we don't need to be reminded on the 25th of every month i mean honestly how else have people ment to move on if people keep bringing it up? I don't mean to seem heartless but it just irritates me! Yes Michael was loved by all of us here inc myself but we don't need to be constantly reminded on the 25th of each month when he passed away, geez!
 
earthlyme said:
ohhh how I miss him :cry: I LOVE YOU MICHAEL! SOO MUCH! :cry: :heart:





:eek: Symphony? MICHAEL Wrote that????


L.O.V.E.
Romi


EDIT:

Have you read "So the Elephants March" From Dancing the Dream? It got me in tears right now :cry: Michael KNEW it, he had the Key on how to live life...he was/is AMAZING!
Click to expand...

sloride said:
Michael wrote the poem 'Mark of the Ancients.' Its in Dancing the Dream. The song is called The Sheltering Sky by Richard Horowitz:

Mark of the Ancients

He had lived in the desert all his life, but for me it was all new. "See that footprint in the sand?" he asked, pointing to a spot by the cliff. I looked as close as I could. "No, I don't see anything."
"That's just the point." He laughed. "Where you can't see a print, that's where the Ancient Ones walked."
We went on a little farther, and he pointed to an opening, high up on the sandstone wall. "See that house up there?" he asked. I squinted hard. "There's nothing to see."
"You're a good student." He smiled. "Where there's no roof or chimney, that's where the Ancient Ones are most likely to have lived."
We rounded a bend, and before us was spread a fabulous sight — thousands upon thousands of desert flowers in bloom. "Can you see any missing?" he asked me. I shook my head. "It's just wave after wave of loveliness."
"Yes," he said in a low voice. "Where nothing is missing, that's where the Ancient Ones harvested the most."
I thought about all this, about how generations had once lived in harmony with the earth, leaving no marks to scar the places they inhabited. At camp that night I said, "You left out one thing."
"What's that?" he asked.
"Where are the Ancient Ones buried?"
Without reply, he poked his stick into the fire. A bright flame shot up, licked the air, and disappeared. My teacher gave me a glance to ask if I understood this lesson. I sat very still, and my silence told him I did.
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:yes: Romi. :huggy: Amazing. I've read that..and I've read Dancing The Dream. I feel lucky to have to first edition.
Video is Beautiful. Michael is magic...Love..
I miss Michael..but he's in my heart :heart:
 
Thriller_MJ said:
People wont get over MJ's passing if people keep reminding them of it, we don't need to be reminded on the 25th of every month i mean honestly how else have people ment to move on if people keep bringing it up? I don't mean to seem heartless but it just irritates me! Yes Michael was loved by all of us here inc myself but we don't need to be constantly reminded on the 25th of each month when he passed away, geez!
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hmmm ok...

hey hun, well I see it differently. If you have heard about the Global prayer that goes on every month on the 25th, you'll understand that this is a very sensitive and the time when we all pray, for Michael, Nature, and the world. I'm glad you are sharing your feelings but if you do not want to be reminded of this day, then dont click on the thread that specifically tells you what it is about. :)

Many of us on here are doing this, NOT TO "irritate" others, but Because of LOVE! When you say we, who are you talking about. Please dont speak for others when it is you who is not in to this. I say that respectfully.

Thankyou...:)


L.O.V.E.
Romi
 
sloride said:
Michael wrote the poem 'Mark of the Ancients.' Its in Dancing the Dream. The song is called The Sheltering Sky by Richard Horowitz:

Mark of the Ancients

He had lived in the desert all his life, but for me it was all new. "See that footprint in the sand?" he asked, pointing to a spot by the cliff. I looked as close as I could. "No, I don't see anything."
"That's just the point." He laughed. "Where you can't see a print, that's where the Ancient Ones walked."
We went on a little farther, and he pointed to an opening, high up on the sandstone wall. "See that house up there?" he asked. I squinted hard. "There's nothing to see."
"You're a good student." He smiled. "Where there's no roof or chimney, that's where the Ancient Ones are most likely to have lived."
We rounded a bend, and before us was spread a fabulous sight — thousands upon thousands of desert flowers in bloom. "Can you see any missing?" he asked me. I shook my head. "It's just wave after wave of loveliness."
"Yes," he said in a low voice. "Where nothing is missing, that's where the Ancient Ones harvested the most."
I thought about all this, about how generations had once lived in harmony with the earth, leaving no marks to scar the places they inhabited. At camp that night I said, "You left out one thing."
"What's that?" he asked.
"Where are the Ancient Ones buried?"
Without reply, he poked his stick into the fire. A bright flame shot up, licked the air, and disappeared. My teacher gave me a glance to ask if I understood this lesson. I sat very still, and my silence told him I did.
Click to expand...

Wow...that was beautiful...:yes: Thanx for posting it...:hug:


L.O.V.E.
Romi
 
8 Months that to me seem like 8 minutes!...

8 months of a never ending nightmare and i just wish i knew how to deal with this emptyness that dosen't go away,and i fear it never will,as all this to me is still so unreal...
 
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