aw Summer I feel your pain :hug: I really do. The song sounds rather meloncholy to me, more longing.
There is a scripture in the bible that says, "a hope deferred makes the heart sick"
It may be true that he "found someone" and at the same time, since his life did not line up in such a way that he could, in a very simple way, realize that 'ideal' and actually be with "her", it could actually add to a person's day to day unhappiness, even if in their heart they have joy.
I know this is inviting Ashtanga to feel once again, no, there was no one in his heart at all because if there were he would have been with her. I just don't know about that. When you add it all up, look at his isolated lonely life, plus all the women that it was easy for Michael to be with, and was with, and you listen to his music, it is different stories.
I get the feeling that at the bottom of Michael's heart the sense of "belonging" is key. Lyrics that say things like,
"I feel we belong" or "when two hearts belong so well" or just listening to him shout, "you and me! together!! together!!!" says that he was reaching OUT through his music to "someone". This is largely why I say that in the end, she served merely as a "muse", someone who brought forth the feeling from him through the music, someone he had an 'experience' with, but at the end, was not someone he was able to actually touch.
Now in analyzing the lyrics at one point I felt the contrary to that is, the song, For All Time says, "a tender touch you know so well" until I listened to it "AllforMJ style" and listened to the context and the words more carefully (that girl is somethin' else lol where is she!!!?) and I realized that he says, "if you feel alone I'll be (future) your shoulder, with a tender touch you'll (future) know so well". That put me back in 'muse' mode and realized maybe it is about a future dream yet to be realized. I don't know, I just do my part in trying to understand from a distance, and put together what makes for wise sense to me.
Its one way at least to understand the merging of the music, with the man's life. I'll break my own rule about not using past tense for the moment, to just say contrary to what any of us thought, he was clearly alone. So alone it was sad. He had friends, people who cared about him, but he was yet and still isolated. When people are isolated they live a lot 'in their heads' and at those times poetry, music, thoughts and feelings pour fourth. The bible also says, "out of the heart's abundance, the mouth speaks", so all we have to go on is what came out of his mouth as to what was in his heart, regardless to those in his surroundings and immediate life. Michael's not the only one. It happens all the time. I happened to go through the trunk of a car that belonged to my uncle who's been married to my aunt 40 years and in it I found a letter to a lady he had gone to high school with, recounting the first time he saw her "in that green sweater" and all the tender feelings he still had for her. It was so sad, all I could do was cry, for my uncle, (my aunt of course) and that lady. A true love, never realized.
Everyone tries their best to do as the old song says, that being "if you can't be with the one you love - - love the one you're with" but at the end of the day, when there's a sense of "belonging" you long to realize your life with, with one special it doesn't make life any easier to "love the one you're with". It makes life a lot more stressful in a deeper kind of way.
I just want to add that in the end, it still all amounts to a dream. A love lived in song, and in what amounts to what Ashtanga (
) would refer to as, an imaginary dream.
