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Anyone else having real anxiety as TII nears?

PrincessMichaela

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I'm feeling such an array of emotions right now it's not even funny. I'm a little excited, but gutted and sad. I'm sort of happy, but also scared; super nervous, super confused, super unsure, super nauseated and having some extreme anxiety, while honestly starting to dread going... I wish I could just be happy and excited to see his wonderful and brilliant work. I want it so badly. I'm just so worried I won't be able to enjoy it... It's 14 hours away now and I. have. no. idea. what. to. expect. from the movie or from myself...
 
I've been anxious ever since I first heard they were going to turn it into a movie....

I know that Mike will do us proud though. :)
 
PrincessMichaela said:
I'm feeling such an array of emotions right now it's not even funny. I'm a little excited, but gutted and sad. I'm sort of happy, but also scared; super nervous, super confused, super unsure, super nauseated and having some extreme anxiety, while honestly starting to dread going... I wish I could just be happy and excited to see his wonderful and brilliant work. I want it so badly. I'm just so worried I won't be able to enjoy it... It's 14 hours away now and I. have. no. idea. what. to. expect. from the movie or from myself...
Click to expand...

Did you just entered my brain??

I feel exactly the same. I just feel mixed emotions, when I think about it I start shaking and I'm scared not knowing how I'll control my reactions...
 
MySerenity5 said:
I've been anxious ever since I first heard they were going to turn it into a movie....

I know that Mike will do us proud though. :)
Click to expand...

Me too, but not nearly like I'm feeling now...I really feel sick...That's been coming and going in the last few months, but not like this. I'm not okay right now...at all.
 
Yep I was trying to explain to my wife last night that some things are better left unknown. I'm going to see it but a part of me doesn't want to know what we have missed.
 
I am waaay scared.

I serously feel sick when I think too hard about that this time tomorrow plus two hours i will be seeing the film. I am finally going to see the dream Michael wanted to share with us (what i was going to see on july 22) it is all culminating tomorrow. The joy, pain, fear, sorrow, anger, confusion, excitement...it all happens tomorrow.

I was really weepy today at work and tonight...they may have to cart me out of the theatre.
 
Yes, I am anxious. But more than anything, I want to witness MJ's genius one last time. For my sanity...and I think it will hep us make peace (somewhat) with everything that happened.
I want to see MJ happy and in his "elements"...it will calm me down, because like it or not, we will have to pick up the pieces and carry on.

I think what scares me the most, is the finality of it. This will be our last "current moment" with Michael (Don't know if that makes sense). After the movie, everything will be in the past...

For me the movie marks the real end of MJ. This is really it.

Even when Sony / The Estate release songs from the vault, it won't feel the same. This afternoon, while driving from work, I tried to imagine an MJ song release without a video. I couldn't.

Every month since his passing, I have had something to look forward to, his birthday, movie tickets going on sale, the song release.... And each made me forget for a minute or two that he was gone.
 
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I'm really afraid I'm going to have a panic attack beforehand. I'm not kidding. If I feel short of breath and high strung and inconsolably sad, crying right now, I'm not sure I'll be able to handle tomorrow. I'm *really* not ready for this...
 
Memefan said:
we will have to pick up the pieces and carry on.
Click to expand...

That's what I'm not ready for.
I feel like tomorrow will be closing a certain door, not to everything, but to something.
And I don't want to be confronted and faced with that.
I feel like every day that passes we're farther and farther away from June 25th and although that was an awful day, I don't want it to not be "recent" anymore.
Even little things changing, like the summer being over - a new season he hasn't experienced or new things happening in the world that he doesn't know about now, that stuff really gets to me.
I don't want to move past the "mourning period", because he's still so present throughout it. During that time it's still okay to talk about him 24/7 and it's easier to deal with when I'm on the board, immersed in him, but as that period starts to close, you have to move away from it. And I don't want to move away from it. I don't want it to ever be "something that happened last year or five years ago".
I don't want that much time separating us.
And that's fastly approaching.
Tomorrow will be a giant leap closer.
 
PrincessMichaela said:
That's what I'm not ready for.
I feel like tomorrow will be closing a certain door, not to everything, but to something.
And I don't want to be confronted and faced with that.
I feel like every day that passes we're farther and farther away from June 25th and although that was an awful day, I don't want it to not be "recent" anymore.
Click to expand...

i understand what you mean perfectly.

I lived through a mourning 2 years ago when my 4 year-old nephew passed away. I remember talking constantly about him, because I was afraid if we stopped we would forget him. And 2 year later, I am reliving similar feelings, even though I did not know MJ personally.

But Like Elizabeth Taylor said:
"We must his take his words of responsibility seriously. We cannot let his life be in vain."

We have to continue and support his legacy because he sacrificed far tor much to entertain us.
​
 
PrincessMichaela said:
I'm really afraid I'm going to have a panic attack beforehand. I'm not kidding. If I feel short of breath and high strung and inconsolably sad, crying right now, I'm not sure I'll be able to handle tomorrow. I'm *really* not ready for this...
Click to expand...

I am right there with you Hun! I made an incredibly stupid mistake by buying a tix for my son to go with me and we are taking 2 days off to see it in NYC tomorrow night, now I am so sick I feel like just eating the cost and staying home to read posts about it!
((Hugs)) to you:angel:
 
GenieBottle said:
I am waaay scared.

I serously feel sick when I think too hard about that this time tomorrow plus two hours i will be seeing the film. I am finally going to see the dream Michael wanted to share with us (what i was going to see on july 22) it is all culminating tomorrow. The joy, pain, fear, sorrow, anger, confusion, excitement...it all happens tomorrow.

I was really weepy today at work and tonight...they may have to cart me out of the theatre.
Click to expand...

well, there is four of us. we will get through it together. :better:
 
PrincessMichaela said:
I'm really afraid I'm going to have a panic attack beforehand. I'm not kidding. If I feel short of breath and high strung and inconsolably sad, crying right now, I'm not sure I'll be able to handle tomorrow. I'm *really* not ready for this...
Click to expand...

I so feel you on that one.
Actually, last week at work I had a panic attack thinking about the movie. :sorry:
I felt bad for hours, not being able to work or concentrate, my heart was beating like crazy etc... Since I've learned how to deal with a panic attack in a 'class' I tried to apply it but it was hard.
I'm affraid it could happen to me again tomorrow.... damn...

:hug: to you, this is really getting harder everyhour now... I hope you'll be ok.

Memefan, the finality of it it exactly what I fear, until now we've still had things to wait for, new song, movie etc... but tomorrow... and on the last day in theater, I'M affraid it'll be complete darkness and I'll just get lost somewhere...

Ok I'm really scared now... :cry:

I'll take a bath before I collapse...
 
Memefan said:
Yes, I am anxious. But more than anything, I want to witness MJ's genius one last time. For my sanity...and I think it will hep us make peace (somewhat) with everything that happened.
I want to see MJ happy and in his "elements"...it will calm me down, because like it or not, we will have to pick up the pieces and carry on.

I think what scares me the most, is the finality of it. This will be our last "current moment" with Michael (Don't know if that makes sense). After the movie, everything will be in the past...

For me the movie marks the real end of MJ. This is really it.

Even when Sony / The Estate release songs from the vault, it won't feel the same. This afternoon, while driving from work, I tried to imagine an MJ song release without a video. I couldn't.

Every month since his passing, I have had something to look forward to, his birthday, movie tickets going on sale, the song release.... And each made me forget for a minute or two that he was gone.
Click to expand...

You edited your post since I quoted it. =) But yeah, every single thing you added - exactly why I'm feeling this way. I do not want this to be it - in any way, shape, or form.
 
The amazing thing about this is that Michael is BRINGING ALL THE WORLD TOGETHER ONE LAST TIME! He's doing his Magic even in spirit!

THIS IS HOW HE WANTED US TO BE FOR EVER!!! Not only for the Movie! We're coming together for one purpose ONLY! And that's For Michael and to listen to his message and spread it! God works in Miracle ways!!!

I'm not gonna feel anything til I see him in theaters(instead of crying now and again when watching trailers or reading articles)!...I've NEVER SEEN HIM LIVE! So this is as close as I'll get!!


Love,
Romi

Thankyou
 
PrincessMichaela said:
I'm feeling such an array of emotions right now it's not even funny. I'm a little excited, but gutted and sad. I'm sort of happy, but also scared; super nervous, super confused, super unsure, super nauseated and having some extreme anxiety, while honestly starting to dread going... I wish I could just be happy and excited to see his wonderful and brilliant work. I want it so badly. I'm just so worried I won't be able to enjoy it... It's 14 hours away now and I. have. no. idea. what. to. expect. from the movie or from myself...
Click to expand...

Memefan said:
Yes, I am anxious. But more than anything, I want to witness MJ's genius one last time. For my sanity...and I think it will hep us make peace (somewhat) with everything that happened.
I want to see MJ happy and in his "elements"...it will calm me down, because like it or not, we will have to pick up the pieces and carry on.

I think what scares me the most, is the finality of it. This will be our last "current moment" with Michael (Don't know if that makes sense). After the movie, everything will be in the past...

For me the movie marks the real end of MJ. This is really it.

Even when Sony / The Estate release songs from the vault, it won't feel the same. This afternoon, while driving from work, I tried to imagine an MJ song release without a video. I couldn't.

Every month since his passing, I have had something to look forward to, his birthday, movie tickets going on sale, the song release.... And each made me forget for a minute or two that he was gone.
Click to expand...

PrincessMichaela said:
That's what I'm not ready for.
I feel like tomorrow will be closing a certain door, not to everything, but to something.
And I don't want to be confronted and faced with that.
I feel like every day that passes we're farther and farther away from June 25th and although that was an awful day, I don't want it to not be "recent" anymore.
Even little things changing, like the summer being over - a new season he hasn't experienced or new things happening in the world that he doesn't know about now, that stuff really gets to me.
I don't want to move past the "mourning period", because he's still so present throughout it. During that time it's still okay to talk about him 24/7 and it's easier to deal with when I'm on the board, immersed in him, but as that period starts to close, you have to move away from it. And I don't want to move away from it. I don't want it to ever be "something that happened last year or five years ago".
I don't want that much time separating us.
And that's fastly approaching.
Tomorrow will be a giant leap closer.
Click to expand...

are you guys in my head? :(that's exactly what i have been going threw since friday and i realized it was less then a week away. :weeping: the one thing i keep thinking about to try to stay posititve is that saying goodbye does not mean we will forget. I wil never, ever forget no matter how much times goes by.

i am trying to look at it not as just a door closing but one opening as well, not sure if that makes sense.. but it depends on your beliefs really. this is a door to see the magic come alive once again. The double edged sword of that is that its for the last time.. thats what guts me to the core.

i got my copy of This is it cd in the mail today and i can't even open it yet.. when i bought it i was excited, now im just depressed to look at it and i think about everything.

a part of me doesn't want to go.. but the other part is wanting to go. god im just a mess. :(

hugs to you guys :group:
 
oh God yes.. I am nervous :cry: I dont want this to be the last time I hear Michaels voice again. Or see something new. It makes me very sad :cry:
 
yes - I am going in just over 24 hours and then again 4 days later. I have started to have near crying episodes and zoning out
 
I'm afraid. I feel anxious, confused, nervous...I really feel the whole mix of emotion. I'm cryin today. This remember my feelings before Michael's concert, but it's different... very different :cry:
 
I am starting to have panic attacks.. I really hope my epilepsy does not come back. Im not sure if I can sit through the movie but for Michael I will try to be strong :cry:
 
I can't wait.

I NEED this. 2009 has been such a shit year for all of us, this is the one saving grace. This movie is what has kept me going. I need to see Michael one last time. I just thank God we have this.
 
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Lovely, it's completely normal :) I have anxiety so it's nothing new for me. My only and best advice is to not see it alone. Make sure you have other things to entertain you and people to talk to you about random stuff in the meantime if you're really nervous.
 
Maeflower86v2 said:
Lovely, it's completely normal :) I have anxiety so it's nothing new for me. My only and best advice is to not see it alone. Make sure you have other things to entertain you and people to talk to you about random stuff in the meantime if you're really nervous.
Click to expand...

the problem is i am going by myself tomorrow night, then with my family on saturday. i am going to have to brace myself in a major way.
 
Memefan said:
Yes, I am anxious. But more than anything, I want to witness MJ's genius one last time. For my sanity...and I think it will hep us make peace (somewhat) with everything that happened.
I want to see MJ happy and in his "elements"...it will calm me down, because like it or not, we will have to pick up the pieces and carry on.

I think what scares me the most, is the finality of it. This will be our last "current moment" with Michael (Don't know if that makes sense). After the movie, everything will be in the past...

For me the movie marks the real end of MJ. This is really it.

Even when Sony / The Estate release songs from the vault, it won't feel the same. This afternoon, while driving from work, I tried to imagine an MJ song release without a video. I couldn't.

Every month since his passing, I have had something to look forward to, his birthday, movie tickets going on sale, the song release.... And each made me forget for a minute or two that he was gone.
Click to expand...

Beautiful post. For me, I am hoping for the closure. I want this weight off my heart. I know it'll be stronger after I see the movie. I can even see myself sitting silently after the lights come back up, overwhelmed by many emotions. I'm just hoping one will also be the satisfaction of seeing him happy. I'm hoping that will give me some peace and I can move on from this pain for him.
 
I feel the same. I'm going to see the film alone tomorrow at 2:30 in the afternoon. The cinema's about two thirds booked out, so there'll be quite an audience - I'm feeling sick thinking about it though. Part of me really wants to see it, but another part just wants to curl up in bed and not go. I'm devastated about the fact that this is Michael's final footage...no more after this! :'( It tears me up. This just wasn't meant to happen.
 
gerryevans said:
Beautiful post. For me, I am hoping for the closure. I want this weight off my heart. I know it'll be stronger after I see the movie. I can even see myself sitting silently after the lights come back up, overwhelmed by many emotions. I'm just hoping one will also be the satisfaction of seeing him happy. I'm hoping that will give me some peace and I can move on from this pain for him.
Click to expand...

Beautiful. I feel the same way. I have not been able to have a full night of sleep for the past week, I am sure I will find some piece after the movie.

Regardless of the nerves, I am most looking forward to seeing him doing what he loves. We will bear witness to his genius.

I have never seen MJ live...so it will be closest thing for. And I won't let anyone spoil it for me. I am not gonna allow it.

OT. For those still going through a lot of pain, one thing that helped my family and I after our loss, is we raised money for children cancer in my nephew's name and I did a lot of volunteer work with the local Ronald McDonald's House. Helping other kids with cancer helped me a great deal.

So, taking a minute to reach out to others might help with the grieving process.
 
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