Hello,
I'm the one who wrote this email. So I'm going to explain myself so no one speculate anymore.
I was in LA last June.
Michael invited me and a friend on the set of the 3D thriller shooting.
My friend had make a jacket for him and I asked him to try it.
He took of his own jacket and was wearing tights clothes. That's how we realized how skinny he was, seeing his bones through his shirts and his small legs.
You are right about saying Michael always has been skinny. I met him a lot of times, even during the trial, giving him hugs and being upset about how skinny he was.
Michael has never been so skinny before. We've met him a lot of times since 1996, giving him plenty of hugs, so I can tell the difference.
Why did I sent this email?
Because it was June 11th, and the shows were starting one month later.
I had met him one month before and thought: he is still so skinny, I hope he's going to gain weight before the shows. But when i saw him again in June, he had lost more weight.
I got scared because we were seeing him rehearse so much. Going to reheasals at noon and leaving at 1am.
Sometimes he didnt want to go to rehearsals.
I remember one day I asked him: how do you feel today?
And he answered with a soft voice: "Oh I'm feeling better than yesterday, thank you.."
So some days he was not feeling well.
I wrote this email on june 21st, to some fans only through facebook, to people who were on my friend list.
Why only to few?
Because first of all, I wanted to talk to the fans who were in LA, or were going to LA sometimes. Because they could keep an eye on him and write him letters and stuff.
Then, if I didnt wanted it to be posted on forums was because I didnt want the press to say: "Even Mj's fan beleive he wont be able to do the shows"
And at last, I didnt want people to bash me, and say: mj is fine, mj knows what he does, he's a grown up, people are all saying he is fine.
People on boards wouldnt have beleived.
That's the reason I sent this only to fans who "saw" how michael had lost weight those last months.
I never said that some fans were better than others or that some fans loved MJ more than others.
It is just that some fans were seing MJ in LA and were able to "do" something.
I never said that his weight killed him in this email, as I wrote this mail few days before he died. So I didnt know it would happen.
As for saying he was a skeleton, that's how I felt. Sorry if it shocks you. Everyone reacts differently. I saw Michael a lot of times those last 15 years, and if I said he looked like a skeleton, it's a way of saying I had never seen him so skinny before.
It is just that this time, he was going to perform for 3 months, dance, and work hard.
He didnt gained weight and we got worried because he was 50 years old. Dancing with 19 years old dancers.
He said himself that he wasnt eating.
And he was stressed by all the pression so it may have caused him a loss of apetite.
You are right that on pictures and videos, he doesnt look that skinny, just normal skinny, but in fact, when you see him in real, near "normal" people, you can see his real size and its worst than pictures. And this time on the set, he was wearing white and tight clothes. That's why we saw more clearly how bad it was..
This said, there's no need to speculate like you did, bashing, me, saying I was seeking attention, as I never posted this PRIVATE email myself. SOmeone did without my permision.
I didn't lie on this email, and had nothing to gain.
It was just a worried mail from a loving fan who wanted to help, or at least try to help in any way possible.
And yes, it was too late and beleive me, we are all devasted and feeling guilty because we didnt open our eyes sooner.
We knew he was too skinny to perform and even if its not wht killed him, he didnt help him to feel better. Its a combination of everything. Stress, drugs, weight loss, hard rehearsals.. Its hard for a body to take all of this..
Marika
