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7 months without Michael

LoveMJackson

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I'm still sad but I feel better than before because I feel Michael presence everywhere. He is still alive for me.. his music and legacy are here to stay FOREVER! And its our duty as fans to continue his beautiful legacy. This forum is doing a wonderful work with it.

How are you guys feeling these days and in this day particularly?
 
I am feeling quite reflective today. Time plays a huge part in the healing process of a broken heart, and its true I am certainly in a better place personally now than I was 4 months ago. I miss him terribly everyday, and still not an hour passes where I dont think of him. Its been an especially hard month with the earthquake, and knowing Michael isnt here to help. Hopefully as fans we have stepped up well enough to the cause to make him proud and continued his work on his behalf.
Michael mania seems to have settled now, and I guess the fanbase is slowly returning back to normal and how we were, which is great. (the best it could be I suppose in the situation)
L.O.V.E X
 
sugarbunny891 said:
I am feeling quite reflective today. Time plays a huge part in the healing process of a broken heart, and its true I am certainly in a better place personally now than I was 4 months ago. I miss him terribly everyday, and still not an hour passes where I dont think of him. Its been an especially hard month with the earthquake, and knowing Michael isnt here to help. Hopefully as fans we have stepped up well enough to the cause to make him proud and continued his work on his behalf.
Michael mania seems to have settled now, and I guess the fanbase is slowly returning back to normal and how we were, which is great. (the best it could be I suppose in the situation)
L.O.V.E X
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I was thinking about this yesterday - there is a massive difference between Michael's fan base now and as it was back in July. The 13th july vigil was manic, with performances and pics being taken with Navi, plus the media frenzy. It was, as was stated at the time, a circus! For some fans that may have been what was wanted - a celebration of Michael the performer, but it didn't reflect who Michael was as a person like Saturday did. The exhibition may not have a lot in it, but at least it tells some of what Michael was like behind the scenes - his charitable nature, for instance. Things that non-fans often either do not know or tend to forget.

Personally I feel a lot better for having met up with other fans on saturday. It worked really well - It seemed that everyone got on well, the day went fairly smoothly and it was great that the slug and lettuce allowed us to use them as a base camp as it meant we could find each other at various points during the day :p I'm still thinking about Michael all the time, but it's a lot less upsetting when you know that there are many many people all over the world who all feel the same way. :)
 
7 months and still nothing makes sense to me.
It's like time has stopped at 2:26 of June 25 and has taken a total side step to an irrational reality.
Somewhere, somehow, things carry on as they should, and Michael is among us, like he should be.
I guess the two different time slots will come together when we get some answers.
 
maybe that's why i was feeling emotional today..and cried on the fricken buss when i heard heaven can wait! because of all the: DON'T YOU DO THIS TO MEEE at the end of the song.. oh god

:cry: sometimes I feel the same pain I did the day I got the news.. it's fricken hard to live with.
 
:(

7 months. I almost just don't know what to say. But I do know that without all of you fans I would not be dealing with this in the way I am. So thankyou. Love you always Michael :(
 
Time has gone so quick...7 months already. "Time is a great healer", thats so true. it heals but it doesn't take all the pain and tears away and i hope it never will. I find it easier to watch dvds and play his music now (i only cry at certain ones now). How we are all going to cope in June i don't know :cry:
Michaels fans are the best in the world and saturday proved that. I felt "normal" and at home there, meeting everyone else that was there for the same reason.
I got home at 10pm and met some friends in the town..i was in all my MJ stuff. I mean..i travelled up and back in it, felt good too but in the pub it was so different, funny looks from people, giggles and whispering from all the near naked PYT's. I felt awkward but after a few drinks couldn't care less.
Things i do know.. he will always be missed and will never ever be forgotten.
L.O.V.E.
 
i still ask god why would sucha good person had to leave so soon? .. then i realized he just went back home ... heaven
 
blue_eyed_belle said:
The 13th july vigil was manic, with performances and pics being taken with Navi, plus the media frenzy. It was, as was stated at the time, a circus!
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OMG, I am glad I am not alone in feeling this way about July 13th. I was there (I had a ticket for that concert and when it all happened I decided to go to London anyway). And everyone seemed so happy, laughing and singing and dancing. And the only thing I wanted to do was cry. So I left pretty soon, got back to my hotel room and lit a candle....

And today.... 7 months... they say time heals, but I don't feel it. The pain is still there. Michael is always in my thoughts and my heart...:cry::cry::cry:
 
7...months?...I've lost a lot of meaning in time when thinking about Michael :( I think I'm reaching some form on plateau with my grieving but there are times when I feel like not bothering. That's when I'm glad I've got you guys as my strength :cry: Sorry if I felt really distant at times during Saturday to some people. I don't know what I'm gonna do today...every month will be like that :(
 
The laws of time seemed to have gone out the window ever since last June.
Sometimes I feel so stuck.
Miss you more than words can ever say Michael.
xxx
 
:cry: How has it been 7 months already? I feel as if it was just yesterday when Michael got his curly hair back. :( I was going to try not to think about it being the 25th today buy yea, that didn't work out too well. Time has been just passing by since Mike's passing. Sometimes I feel like I'm in a daze and the days are just passing by without me even realizing it, weird I know. :no: I just still can't even believe it. How did this even happen? :cry:

Love you most Michael.
 
Well nothing really has change for me that much since that very horrible day. I am still sad, miserable, and depressed. My happiness died with Michael. All I do anymore is just sadly think about Michael. There are only 3 things that I had found now that helps take my mind off of Michael for a little bit or for a little while. That is food, computer games, and sleep. Sleep has been my most biggest comfort. Cause when I am a sleep I am not missing Michael. Unless I have one of my MJ dreams. I remember during the first month all I wanted to do was just stay in bed. And just spend most of my days sleeping. I stay in touch with my MJ sites through my laptop computer which I had in my bed with me. Cause I just felt like a total zombie when I was awake and up. Also during that first month I was practically starving myself. Cause eating was the very last thing in the world I had wanted to do. I barely ate anything during that first month. Now I am turning to food for some kind of comfort. It was just last night I had ate enough food for 2 people and I wasn't even hungry. But I really needed that comfort. I still find it very hard at times watching Michael. Where other days I want to watch him even though I might start crying again. And the only things I have been wearing ever since around that horrible day. Is my Michael Jackson t-shirts that is all that I wear 24/7 now. And my silver MJ glove necklace I have worn it continuesly since July 7th. I have since change that MJ glove pendant to a real sterling silver one. Cause it goes better with my real sterling silver rope chain. I also wear 2 other MJ necklaces continuesly now. So nothing really has change for me that much since that horrible day. But the one thing I am really dreading is June 25th 2010 at 6:30 pm. Cause that was the time when my life will be changed forever.
 
Hugs people.

I'm not very sad anymore because I had SO MANY sad things seven months backwards so I am very happy that I am still here.
 
Seven months and it still hurts like hell. It feels like yesterday but feels like a long time. The more the days pass the more I can't believe he's gone. It's still very hard. In some ways, it doesn't feel like seven months (more like seven days) and in other ways, it seems to have been an eternity. I'm carrying on with my life as if I'm in a kind of fog, looking at the world through a filmy veil that just won't dissipate. This is like some horrible nightmare. I can't stop crying. And I don't know what to do with myself! I feel like just dying right now. I just wish I could be wherever Michael is now. :cry:
 
I was woken up at 7:30 this morning with chest pain. I sat up in bed, and tried to breath deeply in effort to get rid of it, but it only went away if I sat facing the left. I was scared, but I didn't think it was anything to worry about until I sat up. That was when everything went blurry and white. I could barely see anything around me, and I started panicking. Suddenly, my thoughts went to Michael. I could feel myself slipping out of consciousness, and for some reason, thought it would be best to stumble to the bathroom. I ended up fainting there for a few seconds, and then forced myself back up, probably falling many times until I sat back on my bed, trying my best to feel normal, but I couldn't.

I kept thinking, "Is this what Michael felt?" I was also thinking how scared he must have felt, and that my horror was probably only a fraction of what he must felt right before he lost consciousness. I honestly felt like I was going to die, and it was the scariest feeling I had ever felt. I finally managed to stumble to my mother's room, and very worried, she drove me to the emergency room. There was a television in the lobby, and there was a report about Michael. I had fully regained consciousness by this point, but I was very shaken up, and as my eyes wandered back and forth from the floor to the television, I started feeling very sad and scared. Although what Michael went through was most likely much worse, I felt a deep sense of empathy as I tried to put myself in his place.

After hours of tests on my heart, blood, lungs, etc., I was released from the hospital four hours later and only made it home about an hour ago. Michael hasn't left my thoughts since this morning.

Michael, you must have been so scared... :weeping: Now that I'm alone in my room where the nurses or my mom can't see me, I finally feel free to cry. Not because of what happened to me, but just because I'm sorry that you had to go through whatever you did. As I left that hospital in one piece, I couldn't help but feel guilty that I was walking out of that hospital alive, and you had to leave in a body bag...

I love you so much. I wish you were here with me, my sweet Love. It doesn't matter how much time has passed. I will miss you every single day of my life! For as long as there is breath in my body I will mourn and miss you always!
 
^ I'm so sorry :hug: I hope you're okay :( I feel the same.

MICHAEL COME BACK!!!!!!!
all i've been thinking about all day was what happened 7 months ago. It doesn't seem real. argh i cant take it. i want him back! i'd give him my heart. anything! :(
 
Im sorry but we cant do this EVERY MONTH.. Its hurting for all of us I know but please stop creating 4,5,6 and now 7 months without him threads .. cuz it hurts. No need to remind. we know.
 
Michael, I'm dying without you... please come back to me! I can't give up on hope either. One tiny hope like a drop in the ocean ... please come back ... for one last time. :cry:
 
cgrimberg said:
Im sorry but we cant do this EVERY MONTH.. Its hurting for all of us I know but please stop creating 4,5,6 and now 7 months without him threads .. cuz it hurts. No need to remind. we know.
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I didn't mean to upset anyone. I just wanted to share my thoughts and feelings and to hear others too. For some people it helps to talk about it..if you can't handle it then don't open this thread but you can't ask people not to express their feelings because for me its the only place I can talk about it.
 
I'm much better. Seeing him in TII helped a lot.

The sadness still hits hard at times, especially when I think about how his kids are being deprived of their only real parent, and that parent also happened to be one of the most special people to ever hit the planet. I just think of all the wonderful things he could have taught them as they matured, and now they will be forever deprived of his personal guidance.
 
cgrimberg said:
Im sorry but we cant do this EVERY MONTH.. Its hurting for all of us I know but please stop creating 4,5,6 and now 7 months without him threads .. cuz it hurts. No need to remind. we know.
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I kind of agree. It's tough to get reminders like this...time passes by so quickly one doesn't even realize it. But I'm also trying to look at things in a positive way: somehow we have survived seven whole months. It hasn't been easy, on the contrary. But still we have survived and maybe even become stronger...
It makes me sad when I read sad stories here but I also find it comforting to know that I'm not alone with my feelings...
 
cgrimberg said:
Im sorry but we cant do this EVERY MONTH.. Its hurting for all of us I know but please stop creating 4,5,6 and now 7 months without him threads .. cuz it hurts. No need to remind. we know.
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Well.... I don't mean to be rude at all, but is this thread meant to be a reminder of something everybody here knows so well? I don't think so, friend :no: I think this is just a way to let our hearts tell what they need. I understand that is the reason why this kind of threads are posted here, in this special section, which is our place to share our feelings about this pain. I think this is one of my favourite corners in this forum and I come here daily. I really do, for I need to escape from my reality and just focus on this pain, not to suffer more, but just to try to make some sense of it and start healing.

Several of us come here almost everyday. I know we feel some relieve here, just writing down our feelings, and sharing our ups and downs. This is not meant to hurt anybody :(

And there is also another reason for this: how many of us really have someone around to express this pain, someone we can openly talk about our pain and our love for Michael? During the first days and weeks, there were many. Sympathy was all around, but not anymore, at least not the way it used to be; Some have started to see MJ fans like "weird" fans again. Most people simply don't understand our pain and believe we have some kind of mental weakness (to say it in a nice way). So when there is nowhere to turn, we turn here. And we speak here and we hug and we support, for this is our place, our corner to do it, to cry, to remember. We need this so much.

Please don't get me wrong, my friend. I wouldn't like to start any kind of issues, not today, and I know you mean well. It's just that some of us act in a different way. Some might need this. Some others might not.

Big, big hugs :hug:
 
PCR said:
Well.... I don't mean to be rude at all, but is this thread meant to be a reminder of something everybody here knows so well? I don't think so, friend :no: I think this is just a way to let our hearts tell what they need. I understand that is the reason why this kind of threads are posted here, in this special section, which is our place to share our feelings about this pain. I think this is one of my favourite corners in this forum and I come here daily. I really do, for I need to escape from my reality and just focus on this pain, not to suffer more, but just to try to make some sense of it and start healing.

Several of us come here almost everyday. I know we feel some relieve here, just writing down our feelings, and sharing our ups and downs. This is not meant to hurt anybody :(

And there is also another reason for this: how many of us really have someone around to express this pain, someone we can openly talk about our pain and our love for Michael? During the first days and weeks, there were many. Sympathy was all around, but not anymore, at least not the way it used to be; Some have started to see MJ fans like "weird" fans again. Most people simply don't understand our pain and believe we have some kind of mental weakness (to say it in a nice way). So when there is nowhere to turn, we turn here. And we speak here and we hug and we support, for this is our place, our corner to do it, to cry, to remember. We need this so much.

Please don't get me wrong, my friend. I wouldn't like to start any kind of issues, not today, and I know you mean well. It's just that some of us act in a different way. Some might need this. Some others might not.

Big, big hugs :hug:
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Well said! Thank you.
 
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