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Who's almost back to normal now?

Everyday it gets better, but its still a roller coaster of emotions for me.
What's helped alot was turning off alot of the news coverage.
I've stopped reading certain blogs. Getting off the computer.
All of it was honestly starting to make me sick.
I have cried everyday but not as much as this weekend which was the worst of it for me.
but Grieving is a process so it will take time.
 
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I think the worst has passed for me now. The first 2 das were horrible...but now I can talk about it without crying. I am still sad and I feel very empty but I try to stay strong and remember Michael with a smile upon my face. I know that's what he would have wanted.

Whenever I feel sad now I start to think about the song "Smile" and it's like Michael is saying the words straight to me. I feel much better and stronger thanks to that ^^
 
I am finally able to listen to his music now, with the exception of a few songs e.g Gone Toon Soon and Morphine, but the emotion I get from them is different to the emotions that I used to get. I don't think I'll ever fully "recover", I'll just learn to accept that he's no longer here. By god, do I miss him though, I'd do absolutely anything to bring him back :(
 
I am trying to go back to normal. But it is still just so very hard for me. Especially when I am in my room where I have posters and pictures of him on my walls and the back of my bedroom door. Right now I am better since I am watching my absolute favorite Billie Jean performance. And watching my MJ videos, concerts, and performances has helped me to forget where he is now. Because I was seeing my love of how he had used to be. And that is what I am really trying to do now remember him in more happier times. And that tends to make me happy. Though I still have yet to try and go back and watch his private home movies.
 
I am. I don't know how, but I think im one of the fastest(?) ones that were doing oke. But still, everytime I see his picture, ESPECIALLY the one up there ^[banner] I stare at for like 10 seconds and tears are in my eyes again..
 
i feel ok, i guess. I have 3 kids to keep me busy, and that helps alot, actually.
I do, however, have a few haunting thoughts..... where is he? Is he ok? Is he happy? If i could get the answer to those questions, if i knew he's alright, i'd be able to cope, i think.

People say "he's still here". And i've chosen to go with that. Although he's not physically with us, i still act as if he's here. Call it denial if you want. It's giving me comfort and makes it a little easier to get through the days.
 
Well i was starting to feel better but then they started talking about the public viewing and so i have gotten sad all over again. I do miss him though it's hard
 
magicmj12 said:
Waking up is the hardest, i can't concentrate at school, fortunately my friends have got a good sense of humour so i've been laughing. But it seems everytime i laugh i think about Michael and switch back to mourning mode :/

Like i shouldn't be laughing you know? i'll be okay until the viewing and the funeral come along..i can't even be there. I wish i could give my tribute :/

xx
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I know what you mean, when I wake up Michael is the first that come to my mind, it's so hard, but you know what today I was smiling a little...I was smiling to the sun that was shining on me, I felt Michael is where he came from...In heaven, plus I don't want to be rude to my friends and family because of what happened, he wouldn't want us to be like that for the rest of our lives, we need to be together and we need to remember him always, we have to be strong just as he was and do the best we can... Thank you Michael for what you've taught me!I love you so much
 
i am glad to hear that some are getting back to normal. it will take time. the pain that each of us has will pass in time. it is good we have one another to lean on in this time.
i will keep all of you in my prayers
my heart love and prayers go to michael who i pray is at peace. to his children who are a living part of him and his legacy his beautiful mother and the whole jackson family
God Bless You Michael Joseph Jackson may your spirit and legacy live on
i will love and respect you always
 
Im better than I was at the weekend but its still killing me inside.I'm also in shock that he has actualy gone (now im crying again) God I miss you Michael R.I.P
I hope and pray we remember him forever.
I know I will never be the same again his death took a piece of my heart away forever and the world to me became that little bit more cruel and empty,But I have also been listening to the song smile and today I sat out in the sunshine and smiled.
Thankyou Michael may you now rest in peace xx
 
i'm smiling and now laughing. I had a dream last night about him. it was positive he was trying to save the world from a military government trying to control the world. But I still find myself not believing that he's really gone. Then other times I hate that he gone and get mad saying "he should be here" I keep saying that. I want to just snap my fingers and have him back. I truely hate and don't get why michael isn't here. It feels so wrong. I want him on earth here with me. Just a little bit long. I wish I was born earlier.
 
I'm not weeping as much, but also I'm not feeling that much better. i was due to go to opening night (July 13th) and the nearer it gets, it fills me with more dread. I'm still going to London and o2, but it's gonna be very, very sad for me
 
I'm almost normal...
I feel like :ermm: now, if I hear Michaels name...
 
back to normal? whats normal. im distraught and can hardly go outside without wanting ot burst into tears every 5 mins. if u feel normal now after less than a week i guess u werent to fussed in the first place. i will never get over this i hope that with time i can look back and smile at the joy he gave rather than want to burst into tears when ever i think of him and whats happened.do u ever get over the loss of someone. i doubt it but u learn to cope
 
People cope differently. They're not less of a fan if they "recover" faster. I guess I'm a veteran when it comes to death. I've lost so many relatives over the last few years, I joke it's almost normal now to me. And because I'm deeply spiritual I can cope way better with Michael not being here anymore. My beliefs are my recovery.
 
I have obviously lost weight because I can suddenly wear jeans I have not had for years but I feel quite ok. Just two days left at work and then my vacation starts.
 
My heart is getting stronger. He is the first thought on my mind in the morning and today was the first time that I thought about him without feeling empty. Still I will never be the same and I can't wait for paradise to come to be with him forever.
 
elusive moonwalker said:
back to normal? whats normal. im distraught and can hardly go outside without wanting ot burst into tears every 5 mins. if u feel normal now after less than a week i guess u werent to fussed in the first place. i will never get over this i hope that with time i can look back and smile at the joy he gave rather than want to burst into tears when ever i think of him and whats happened.do u ever get over the loss of someone. i doubt it but u learn to cope
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Even though you think right now, it won't get better eventually it will.
Just like people grieve differently. The time it takes for each person to greive is different.
I have a job and an overseas trip to get ready for at work, I can't fall apart. My life falling apart will not bring Michael back.
Michael was a survivior, look at all the things he went throught and bounced back...
You have to be strong.
I don't think anyone is "over it" but you have to learn to deal with the pain and keep moving... This is life for better or worse
 
Ever since hearing the news last Thursday, I was basically having breakdowns on and off throughout the day. I haven't cried today, I think everyday everything is slowly getting better. He meant basically everything to me, and it's still so hard to comprehend, I still don't even think it's completely sunk in that he is no longer here with us. I still cry when I hear really touching things being said about him, it really shows how much he was and is loved and missed. It's comforting to know that he's now in a better place, though.
 
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Throughout the past few days I have had one thought to hold on to, something that I have found to make me feel a little better inside. I thought I would share this with you.
Michael Jackson was on a journey from day 1, he was put on this planet for a reason. Through his music & videos he still has the ability to bring so much joy and inspiration to so many future children & adults for many, MANY years to come. My little boy is only 4 months old, but already he has taken an interest in music. To see him smile when he hears his favorite tune will eventually lead to laughter and dance. THIS is what Michael Jackson still has to bring to this world, in essence he is still very much 'alive'. He lived for music, he IS music. :)

I hope that helps some of you at this difficult time, it helped me to smile :)
 
elusive moonwalker said:
back to normal? whats normal. im distraught and can hardly go outside without wanting ot burst into tears every 5 mins. if u feel normal now after less than a week i guess u werent to fussed in the first place. i will never get over this i hope that with time i can look back and smile at the joy he gave rather than want to burst into tears when ever i think of him and whats happened.do u ever get over the loss of someone. i doubt it but u learn to cope
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wtf, i was on the verge of killing myself i was so upset! Michael gave me the strength!
 
i am so heartbroken and so hurt. However i cannot stress myself out as i have to have a brain scan in 2 weeks time due to going through a lot of stress lately and it started to affect me in my eye. So with Michael dying with so much will-power i have not cried a lot and have tried to stay happy and strong.
i feel crushed and really down but i know if i cry i won't stop just like how i was previously when i was going through things in my life and i'm scared i'll make myself even worse.
The other day one of my other cousins who are big MJ fans like me, asked me why i wasn't crying- and was it because i never cared. i was really hurt by that comment as i was grieving like her but just without tears.
 
Pimboli said:
i feel ok, i guess. I have 3 kids to keep me busy, and that helps alot, actually.
I do, however, have a few haunting thoughts..... where is he? Is he ok? Is he happy? If i could get the answer to those questions, if i knew he's alright, i'd be able to cope, i think.

People say "he's still here". And i've chosen to go with that. Although he's not physically with us, i still act as if he's here. Call it denial if you want. It's giving me comfort and makes it a little easier to get through the days.
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Exactly, how I feel. We've always known his general whereabouts, but now, we have no idea where he is and what he's doing and what state he's in. The whole "not knowing" and Michael being in an area that's unknown to us scares the hell out of me.
 
i think i've recovered from the initial shock. i stayed home for 3whole days since that day..(we have different timezones..it was early friday morning here when it was thursday afternoon in LA). i'm not crying as much, but i do have my moments...actually a lot of moments. i still can't sleep well at night...because thoughts of him run through my head. i usually fall asleep around 4/5am when i see a hint of the sun.

what gets me now is whenever i think of the kids...which is quite often. i tear up again.



@PIMBOLI
i have the sae thoughts too...
 
If u can define normal as getting on with day to day life then I'm doing ok. I'm sure that's what we're all trying to do. But I'm still not eating properly and had a panic attack this morning. I feel heartbroken and it hurts physically and emotionally. When that feeling will go away, I don't know. I cried so much for the first three days after we lost Michael, but then it stopped, yet I'm on the edge constantly. It's a strange numb feeling of shock still, it's so surreal. I feel my body is in preservation mode until the funeral, it's going to be so hard on all of us that day. Preserve your energy as best u can everyone, the pain will be overwhelming. Much love to everyone, Heather x
 
Well I ate today.. Like a whole meal! SO thats a plus. But I cant stop thinking about him. I cant stay away from this site cus this is where I feel the most comfortable now. And I still cant believe hes physically gone from us. It still seems unreal :-/
 
Personally, I realized that I never accept the death of Michael. I will not be better and a year later, I'll just live and everything.
 
"back to normal" really upsets me. it sounds as if in a week people can start acting as if nothing ever happened. ive been a fan 15 years, there will be no "back to normal". some things get easier and i learn how to cope. but life is different. this person impacted our lives.. i thought of him everyday and now hes not on the earth with me i feel a great sense of loss. i treasure MJ more now, and i will everyday of my life. this will become my "normal" now
 
I'll never be the same agian, but I havent been crying as much, I've cryed my eyes out, now I just find myself staring in shock, I feel like I'm in the twilight zone, I hate this.
 
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