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Who's almost back to normal now?

xo_lola_xo

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Today has been the first day that I haven't just sat and cried my eyes out since Michael's passing. I still miss him and always will and he is on my mind every minute, every day but I think I'm doing okay now and just thinking of how much I love him, listening to his music and carrying on his legacy.

Who's like this or almost like this?

p.s.

I LOVE YOU ENDLESSLY MICHAEL.

1958 - FOREVER.
 
I'm glad your almost normal again!
I'm getting there I think ..slowly..but every night i cry myself to sleep :(

Just because some people have recovered or are recovering now doesn't make them any less of a fan. Someone said that to me earlier when I said it was good they were feeling better and I assured them that i wasn't even thinking like that!!!!


[[BIG HUGS]]
 
beccalovesmj said:
I'm glad your almost normal again!
I'm getting there I think ..slowly..but every night i cry myself to sleep :(

Just because some people have recovered or are recovering now doesn't make them any less of a fan. Someone said that to me earlier when I said it was good they were feeling better and I assured them that i wasn't even thinking like that!!!!


[[BIG HUGS]]
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*Hugs back to you too*

I'm sure Michael would hate, hate to see his fans suffer like this. I know he'd be happy to look down and see that we are happy, remembering him, loving him and following his example.
 
I woke up this morning, and for the first time since he died he wasnt the first thought that popped into my head!

Although there was a thunder storm last night, and while half asleep I had the idea in my head that it was Michael talking to me :\ lol Via thunder
 
Im so sick. I woke up with the worst stomach pain. I think waking up is really hard for me, its the first thing I think about is our poor Michael. Im so sad. I think my pain comes and goes. Sometimes I just want to crawl in a hole. I wish all this pain would go away. I feel I will be like this a long time. :(
 
I feel better today..... but the public viewing on friday - I believe... it brings me down.:( I hope I can handle this.
 
I'm getting better all the time. I'm almost normal at the moment, but I have moments when I just can't hold my tears. Like when listening to Better on the other side.. :cry: But I guess it'll always be like that with that song.
 
I don't know. One minute I'm numb then all of the sudden I cry. I'm still getting used to it.
 
Today has been the best day since his death. I was feeling a lot better yesterday but I still had a lot of anger in me. Today's been good, and I can smile and laugh freely like I did before he passed away :)

It makes me happy that I appreciated and loved him before his death. I'm proud to have been with him through his ups and downs :)
 
I think Friday will be so hard but I think that if the fans see Michael looking peaceful, then they will be at peace too.
 
i THOUGHT i was ok. the last two days i kind of managed to keep myself together. i thought i'd stay numb until the funeral. but today i went out with my dad for lunch and he mentioned Michael and i just broke down again and cried like a baby..
 
It will be like a rollercoaster these days. One day you'll feel ok, the other worse! I've had those ups and downs as well. Today is the "best" day so far, as I realised I could actually concentrate at my work (I'm about to finish my PhD for God's sake!). After the funeral, things will take their own way and you'll start more and more to go with the flow. Michael is not on Earth but he's still alive. :)
 
It's good to see that some members are getting better! :)
For those who still wanna cry, don't keep it in! Cry a big time and after you will feel better! :)
Day after day, you will feel better! Well, we hope so! :)
 
wakeing up is like hell, but during the day it gets better and better and im not crying all day long..
 
I don't think I'll ever be back to normal. I can't even remember what normal is anymore, to be honest. This has changed me forever, I'm never going to be the same as I was before.
 
jay_bee said:
I don't think I'll ever be back to normal. I can't even remember what normal is anymore, to be honest. This has changed me forever, I'm never going to be the same as I was before.
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That's what I thought. You'll heal eventually. You will. You'll love him, remember him and miss him but you will heal.
 
beccalovesmj said:
your right life will never be the same :(
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Yes, it is life changing but we will eventually be able to think about Michael without feeling pain and bursting out in tears.

He hasn't left us alone. We're not alone.
 
DanceOfZenab1994 said:
Yes, it is life changing but we will eventually be able to think about Michael without feeling pain and bursting out in tears.

He hasn't left us alone. We're not alone.
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Exactly! He has not left us alone! We'll just won't be able to see him for while... :) He will see us though. And what he should see is happy people again following his example.
Just think of it as a quite long break from the music world. The music will definitely begin again when it's our time to go. :yes:
 
I think I'm ok and then the minute I hear his music or see his face on tv,I get right back sad again
 
This morning was easier for me. I went for coffee, took the dog along and we went to the pet store and a walk at the park, picked up some groceries. While my thoughts would turn to Michael at moments, getting away from the computer was very helpful.

There's a good side and bad side sometimes to being online and search for answers, updates, etc. Trying to make sense of something so tragic. Yet the longer I'm online, including MJJC, the more tense and depressed I feel.

For me, the worst is yet to come, ie the viewing at NVL and then reports on the funeral itself. Even though we all know it is final, the upcoming events will bring about emotions that I truly don't want to experience. Plus, I work 12 hr days every weekend, intense days, caring for critically ill patients in life and death situations, I have to be in top shape mentally so as not to make mistakes. So from that aspect, while each day has gotten progressively better, the hardest part, the finality of it all, is yet to come.

Coming on MJJC is a Godsend in so many ways, just knowing there is a place to go that has people feeling the same loss and pain that I am, that I'm not going crazy. Having chats on AIM with old members/staff from the past has allowed me/us to let things out. But at the same time, getting up and away from the computer seems to be more cleansing for some reason, to see that normality still does exist apart from the shocking loss from Michael's death.
 
bgz said:
This morning was easier for me. I went for coffee, took the dog along and we went to the pet store and a walk at the park, picked up some groceries. While my thoughts would turn to Michael at moments, getting away from the computer was very helpful.

There's a good side and bad side sometimes to being online and search for answers, updates, etc. Trying to make sense of something so tragic. Yet the longer I'm online, including MJJC, the more tense and depressed I feel.

For me, the worst is yet to come, ie the viewing at NVL and then reports on the funeral itself. Even though we all know it is final, the upcoming events will bring about emotions that I truly don't want to experience. Plus, I work 12 hr days every weekend, intense days, caring for critically ill patients in life and death situations, I have to be in top shape mentally so as not to make mistakes. So from that aspect, while each day has gotten progressively better, the hardest part, the finality of it all, is yet to come.

Coming on MJJC is a Godsend in so many ways, just knowing there is a place to go that has people feeling the same loss and pain that I am, that I'm not going crazy. Having chats on AIM with old members/staff from the past has allowed me/us to let things out. But at the same time, getting up and away from the computer seems to be more cleansing for some reason, to see that normality still does exist apart from the shocking loss from Michael's death.
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I noticed that too! Offline it becomes so much easier to calm down! Being online helps to connect with other people and share your sorrow but it stresses you more unfortunately.
Everyone, go for a walk! Even if you don't feel like doing so! Just do it!
 
Today was the first day (after 25th) I listened his music. I was walking down the street and just felt that I MISS his voice.. I took my mp3 player - and Listened album Bad :) Man in the mirror - my favorite song. Than Dirty Diana, APOM, Bad, TWYMMF... It was so... I can't find words to describe my feelings... I didn't cry and I felt that he is really with me. That he lives in his songs, it's AMAZING! His voice, his emotions, his dreams and ideas - they are with us!!:)
 
I've always been 'back to normal' and that pains me. We have no other choice BUT to get back to normal.

And that realization made me cry for the first time about this last night. (Sigh)

Friday will be extremely hard for me.
 
I was so sad at the morning because I think today I realise little more that he's really gone...but then I started to listen to "together again" by Janet...It gave me so much strenght and faith I was almost smiling...I feel Michael is in heaven now and I'm going to be the best person I can to meet him one day...I love you Angel
 
Waking up is the hardest, i can't concentrate at school, fortunately my friends have got a good sense of humour so i've been laughing. But it seems everytime i laugh i think about Michael and switch back to mourning mode :/

Like i shouldn't be laughing you know? i'll be okay until the viewing and the funeral come along..i can't even be there. I wish i could give my tribute :/

xx
 
Normal's definition has changed because after losing Michael, things will never truly be the same again, but I am definitely feeling this newly defined normality.
 
Since this news of Mikes passing i have been very emotional but i'm completely fine now i'm just glad i let it all out and not keep it bottled up inside
 
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