On my own, in my college in Cambridge Uni.
I will do my best to keep a smile during that day. I don't want this to destroy the joy Michael has brought to my life, I don't want to miss that magic. I am trying to understand this is but another day, that it will go just in 24 hours, as any other day. I am trying my best to stop being stuck to the idea of counting time. It is just too painful and doesn't make me feel any better, only worst.
I don't want to feel miserable forever. Michael manage to overcome so many horrible things during his life. That's a lesson for me to learn.
I want, I really, really want to learn to remember Michael with hope in a future to see him again, and also, with gratitude for all he gave me over the years, up to this very day.
I love you, Michael. That can't be changed.
All that said.... it hurts like crazy