She knows she still loved...actually scratch that...she still LOVES him. She just tried to block it from her mind. I mean, no mater what it was someone very important in her life. Dude, she basically LEFT her first husband for Michael, she didn't even care that there were kids involved. Lisa went against her ENTIRE family and friends, and Michael didn't tell his family either. After the divorce Lisa was severely hurt and fell into a depression for almost two years, she herself said she was a mess after this. Lisa changed entirely after the divorce too. She went from being happy, dressing elegant to emo, don't care what i look like lisa.Michael Jackson played a VERY important role in her life. Especially now that we know that she wanted to save him, and that she probably would have stayed with him if kids weren't involved. and in my opinion i think the marriage and divorce to michael has greatly affected all of Lisa's relationships AFTER michael. thats why she has a hard time finding someone, she is looking for michael in all of them. IMO