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The june 25th thread

Fluffy_Oz said:
I feel like... like the world should stop. Like there should be some sort of reflection of this immense grief on the world. Like something profound should happen. MICHAEL IS GONE!!!! :cry:
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I HAVE EXACTLY THE SAME FEELING...
I don't know.. Like there should be some response.. some sign..
there's all this LOVE being sent to universe.. there's an energy accumulating.. I don't know..

8701girl said:
I only cried a lil bit today...i cant bring myself to cry anymore....and i dont know why :(
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I am kinda numb too, Jess :hug: I've been crying a bit, but mostly I'm just numb.. and very sad..
 
8701girl said:
Aww :hug: limonali
I guess maybe in some way it still hasnt hit me yet.
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Being numb.. crying.. being sad.. being angry.. those are all faces of the same breaking heart experience inside..
Don't be hard on yourself Jess.. we all grieve, no matter if we can bring ourselves to cry or not.
I know if I wanted to bring out the tears, it's enough just to think of Memorial Service and his funeral.. or listen to Gone Too Soon, Smile..
tears are a guarantee in that.. they're inside me, but I just can't cry now.
So I'm sitting here numb.
 
Limonali said:
Being numb.. crying.. being sad.. being angry.. those are all faces of the same breaking heart experience inside..
Don't be hard on yourself Jess.. we all grieve, no matter if we can bring ourselves to cry or not.
I know if I wanted to bring out the tears, it's enough just to think of Memorial Service and his funeral.. or listen to Gone Too Soon, Smile..
tears are a guarantee in that.. they're inside me, but I just can't cry now.
So I'm sitting here numb.
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Yep the funeral service moves to tears & breaks my heart everytime i see or hear footage of it.
 
I'm feeling numb too. I cannot bring myself to listen to his music or watch his videos at all, not even any tributes. I just want this day to be over and done with. :depressed:
 
I am also sad, i can't believe it's been a year since we lost him :cry:
 
beccalovesmj said:
Its wierd... cuz this time last year.. Michael was still here.. we were clueless, and we had no idea what was going to happen in less than 10 hours... :cry:
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That's all I keep thinking - its so hard I really feel like my heart can't take anymore, the pain is awful. I remember that day vividly like it just happened. I remember moaning about something earlier that day - something really trivial and then that same evening...how could I have taken everything for granted when he was still here and how can the world now go on without him.

I'm not making much sense today, last night I felt good, I felt happiness for my love of Michael, today as the day goes on I feel desperately sad and completely overwhelmed with grief.
 
Yeah :(
That day I had school, my grandparents were round.. then I watched Moonwalker before going out to rehearse for singing down the pub with my friend on the 26th... got home at 10.. went straight to bed.. if id stayed up 26 mins later.. i would of known that night.. but i found out the next morning...
little to say i couldnt sing on the 26th.
 
^^ I know, its like everything you thought was important before or whatever you had planned before just meant nothing after what happened... I remember having dinner with friends and going home and my boyfriend checked MJJC and the first thing he said was Michael's been taken to hospital and I didn't really believe it because I thought it was probably tabloid trash reporting it, then my boyfriend was telling me that he thiks there is something serious here, we put on Sky news and that's when I heard the most devastating words I have ever heard in my life, seeing the headlines, the footage of the hospital, people started texting me saying they were thinking of me - I just wanted to tell them where to go - I honestly didn't believe it, I think I was in shock. Then realisation hit me as I got ready to go to bed and I fell down and sobbed like my whole world had falled down, because it truly had. I couldn't sleep at all, just lying there thinking, drifiting into a half sleep then waking again with that unbearable realisation of what had happened. I don't even know why I'm going through all this, its hard to relive but maybe going through it again will help - I don't know. The next day I couldn't go to work, I went to the O2, media everywhere trying to capture our grief. I told them that the world should have treated him better then left, I couldn't stand it anymore.

Today I am mourning Michael, but remmebering him too, I want him to know that I love him, wherever he may be.
 
I wish he was back, things are so dark and they feel so horrible without him!! MICHAEL, COME BACK! :(
 
I feel numb more than anything. I am trying to smile and be positive, but I can't. The whole thing is a nightmare and MJ being gone is something I will NEVER EVER EVER get used to.
 
Not long now and the day will be over and done but I have been shaking at 2.26 and nearly cried I want to put some mj music on for some more inspiration but I just cant listen to his cute voice tonight I think it would be good for me but I know I wont stop crying and because I'm in college and not at home I dont think its a good idea:cry:
 
sammichael said:
Not long now and the day will be over and done but I have been shaking at 2.26 and nearly cried I want to put some mj music on for some more inspiration but I just cant listen to his cute voice tonight I think it would be good for me but I know I wont stop crying and because I'm in college and not at home I dont think its a good idea:cry:
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This sounds wierd to say, but I'm even more scared of today being over.. because today the whole world is listening to mj on the radio, talking about him on the news etc.. then tomorrow they won't be. it will be over.. people will be expecting us to forget him... get over it.. i don't know what im expecting to happen tomorrow..just feel like something should. 26th was the day I found out so tomorrow will be a harder day for me and obv 10:26pm tonight... just its so confusing.
 
This image reminds me of the feeling I felt last year. I can't describe just how small the pieces of myself broke into when I saw this for the first time...

4732743523_4c2d3eb9bc_b.jpg


:cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry:
 
beccalovesmj said:
This sounds wierd to say, but I'm even more scared of today being over.. because today the whole world is listening to mj on the radio, talking about him on the news etc.. then tomorrow they won't be. it will be over.. people will be expecting us to forget him... get over it.. i don't know what im expecting to happen tomorrow..just feel like something should. 26th was the day I found out so tomorrow will be a harder day for me and obv 10:26pm tonight... just its so confusing.
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I know...10.26pm...that horrific time that I wanna just go past...it's almost too much to bear :no: :(
 
theoriley said:
I feel guilty when I smile or laugh...

:cry:
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I know how you feel....but if there was one thing he could say right now, he'd ask us all to be happy. We gotta try!

I'm glad this June 25th is nearly over, it's probably the hardest one we'll ever face, because we knew it was creeping up on us and we knew what to expect - pain, sadness, disbelief.

I'm feeling a little cleansed and calm right now. I hope that will last, and I can move into this next year with a smile, with some hope, safe in the knowledge that I'm doing my life justice, and doing Michael proud. He wouldn't want to be mourned forever.....REMEMBERED - yes, mourned - no. He was about joy, and LOVE, and we as his avid lovers, have to try to show the world that is possible. Together lets find that place...the place where it's all as it should be.

Sorry if Im blabbering...just needed to say this, also.

I kinda feel that this whole June 25th thing is a human creation. As in we've created dates and times and months etc. and thus tied our emotions down to manmade tools. For me, it doesn't really make sense to be more sad today because of the 'date'. The emotions are connected to the event, which has no 'real' association with the label that we give it for our own convenience.I know the date has been assoicated with a significant event, and thus each time it comes, we are reminded of that again.

But in reality, each moment that comes and goes is new, and unlabelled. I guess what I'm trying to say is, that a lot of this pain, grief etc. that we are feeling, is not because we are actually more sad due to the DAY, but becuase we have created a system or measuring time, which labels today as a 'particular' day..the day of his passing. But today is NOT that day. The day that MJ passed, will never be repeated (thankfully). That day came and went, and 'today' has no more 'connection' with it then 'tomorrow' will. They stand alone...

Perhaps that's why it feels somewhat 'contrived' for me to be 'extra' sad today. Although I am glad that I have been more overtly emotional today, as it's allowed me to cleanse and heal some of my grief. And it's allowed me to connect with all of you, around the world.....and REmember that best thing in the universe - Michael Jackson. :heart:
 
This is a special day.
Because for me, the first year without Michael begins now.
The year since his death, seemed too surreal.
Michael was still so present, and I couldn't believe.
Now, now begins the time where he truly is dead.
Though even now, it still is so unreal and I still can't accept the fact that he is truly gone from this world. :cry:
 
I really wanted to stay away from any media but I couldn't help but turn on my car radio...I must say it really felt good to hear almost every radio station here in NY playing nothing but MJ's music all day long.

I can't remember another musician who has passed that had their music played like this...on nearly every station!

I wish it will be like this for the next generation. It's a very somber day for me, some chose to celebrate...I chose to stay in and reflect on all that has happened. Can't believe he's gone :(
 
i spent time reflecting, i spent time crying, i spent time remembering, and i spent time dancing and singing, which i'm doing right now. i've spent this day being happy, sad, and everything in between. it's crazy how i can feel such conflicting emotions at the same time.

at 2:26 today (5:26 my time) i was in the car driving home from work, listening to my MJ playlist on ipod. "Can You Feel It" came on and at that moment, when Mike was singing, i looked up to the beautiful blue sky and thought of his beautiful soul leaving his body and floating up to heaven.

as much as this ultimately SUCKS for us, i try to remind myself of how free he is now. i just hope he can somehow feel all the love we have for him down here.
 
I just came from the family home in Gary. Katherine shared this special day with us unveiling a monument to Michael that has been placed there. She is a lovely dignified lady with a very strong vibe coming from her, kind and strong.

It is a beautiful and sunny day here. There were flowers, there was music, there were very young children and old folks, black and whitel I have to tell you, it was joyful, a celebration.

I was with Mr Gordon Keith, the first person to sign and cut a record on Michael and the J5, pre-Motown. Most of the folks on the street have been there since back in the day. It was just beautiful. Very much one love.
 
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