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The june 25th thread

8701girl said:
Im wearing an mj shirt right now
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So am I. It is all that I wear anymore. Is one of my many MJ t-shirts and my 3 MJ necklaces.



I have been feeling the same exact thing every single day ever since that horrible June night. Which is:


Sadness
Misery
and Depression


I will no longer going to know feelings like happiness, joy, excitement, and other feelings like them ever again. Those feelings have been forever torn out of me on that horrible June night. I have been suffering from clinical depression ever since horrible June night. And because of my depression I still tend to have suicidal thoughts. It was just earlier today I had my mother's butcher's knife in my hand and I was thinking about plunging it in to me. Until I suddenly remember again that Michael would not want his fans killing themselves over him. But I am really just so very sick and tired of having to live in a Michaelless world now. All I want is to be dead and with him now. :sad: :boohoo:
 
Im ok for now. I just know that I am avoiding all forms of media tomorrow. No TV, No Internet news sites. I cant take the trash talk and sensationalism anymore.
 
I am feeling very sad today I must admit I am missing Michael desperately, as we all are, but coming on here today has helped me it has been nice to be able to express myself in this special forum with all the wonderful people here.

Thank you Gaz and everyone at MJJC!!
 
i accept and yet i still expect this to be one long nightmare and i awake with MJ being tied up and hidden and away and saying who did it and why. I mean this is the toughest non family member loss that i have ever dealt with.
 
here we go...
gotta go to work exp this morning, its my last day there which also makes me sad, wearing my this is it shirt...

ive had some lovely messages from friends.. and i can't stop crying...

michael we need you :boohoo:
 
horrible horrible day. My heart hurts. Plus I'm having a really shitty day at work. I just want to disappear and skip to tomorrow already.
 
I miss Michael so much.

I feel much worse than one year ago, because back then I didn't really understand it at all :no:

I'm wearing my favourite MJ shirt, but don't think I can watch any videos or listen to his music.. This is very, very hard.. :weeping:
 
Im going to hate this day, i have to be strong, Take care evryone today,,

love to you all.

Terry
 
I didnt think I would be this sad. After all it's been a year. Sometimes over the past year I've gotten very sad. But jeez ... it's hit me like a ton of bricks again today and Im shocked. I just feel very heavy and empty. It's a very sad reminder of that awful day. The WORST DAY EVER! (in the history of the universe.)
 
At 5 past midnight i already knew this was gonna be a hard day...

Woke up, cried...

Now i feel numb.
 
I just got back from an MJ party and I Was dancing and singing, now I'm home I can't stop crying. I miss him so much! I keep having these dreams where Michael comes to me and says "It was all a dream, I'm not really gone, I'm here" and we just chill out and relax and have fun.

Then I wake up and I cry. I miss him so much and it sucks.. come back Michael!! We love you! I can't stop crying. I am crying right now as I type this.
 
Its wierd... cuz this time last year.. Michael was still here.. we were clueless, and we had no idea what was going to happen in less than 10 hours... :cry:
 
I only cried a lil bit today...i cant bring myself to cry anymore....and i dont know why :(
 
i remember that today at this time last year it was the last time when i listened to Michael with joy. now when i listen to him i just feelso sad :(

but it feels good to know that so many people listen to MJ right now everywhere in this world and think about him!
 
Misayko said:
i remember that today at this time last year it was the last time when i listened to Michael with joy. now when i listen to him i just feelso sad :(

but it feels good to know that so many people listen to MJ right now everywhere in this world and think about him!
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beccalovesmj said:
:hug:
I was crying when I woke up.. and before work.. but I'm not atm, only a little bit randomly... no doubt I will be hysterically later though :(
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Aww :hug: hun

i hate that everyone is so upset right now. Im trying so hard to bring myself to cry..but i cant :( :(
 
8701girl said:
Aww :hug: hun

i hate that everyone is so upset right now. Im trying so hard to bring myself to cry..but i cant :( :(
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:hug:
Thats the most painful thing... wanting to cry and feeling like you have to but not being able too... doesn't mean you care anyless or that your any less heartbroken than all of us :better:
 
8701girl said:
Aww :hug: hun

i hate that everyone is so upset right now. Im trying so hard to bring myself to cry..but i cant :( :(
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Jess: YANA is playing now, I'm SO not going to cry this time.

Beccalovesmj: Its hard sweetie I know, my eyes are red and sore from crying all day, lucky for me I have a cold atm so I can use as an excuse.

Be strong hunni, remember Michael wouldn't want you to dwell, as hard as it is Michael would want you to smile and be happy :)
 
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