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Paradise for my buddies

FUJON said:
i felt a bit better a few hours ago... but now again.....
such an emptiness in the heart :( no words :no:
sooooooooooooo deeply sad :(
i wish it was me died instead of him :(
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I feel the same way :(

Fujon I love you! If you ever need to talk im here for you.
we can support each other :better:
 
Hi guys (((hug))).
I find the commercialism around Michael so hard to cope with while everyday I'm still grieving his loss. I popped in here for a moment of sanity, to be with folk who understand--folk who love Michael and miss him for all that he was as a person and not for the profit that can be made from him, one way or another. Michael was full of grace--giving, giving, giving, and yet the commercial world continues to snatch and grab all that they can from him.
I cherish him (we cherish him) and they sell him.
It makes me sad.
 
phantom said:
I am fine :) getting ready for a big nice change in my life :)
I love your siggy, fujon :)
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thank you, phantom :flowers: keeping you in my prayers and wishing a good luck with a change :yes: *HUGS*
 
I feel you, Dimity *HUGS* the same here...


and I still can't find a peace... puzzled with: it was his time to go home or not yet?

feel like I'm waiting on something..... *shrugs*

tried to listen other music, but can't relate much to any..
listening only Michael now and enjoy every second of it.. in the same time the heart squeezing from thinking too much, you know....
everything not the same anymore......

this year was too hard for me from the beginning, every month brought some bad news, too much of stress.

on week-ends at summer usually always liked to stay awake all nights, to enjoy the moon, stars, music, poetries, meditation..
and i felt like this summer will be different, something goin' to be not the same, i didn't felt joy anymore when birds began to sing at early morning.. a had some strange feelings..
i got a warnings in the dreams also, but refused to believe it, throughs it's just evils spirits trying to confuse me? looks like not :(

the main questions is now in my mind: for what kind of reason we were left here?
and when we will know it?

what scares me the most.. it's to live long. or to live again on this planet someday painfully searching for soulmates. do not fulfill the God's plans, to displease Him.

grey days, grey streets, grey people passing by, it's like a color of life is gone..
trying to think about something beautiful like nature and animals.. but it's covered with sad thoughts how people abuse it........ :(

everything is planned on Heaven before we even were born, makes me wonder how much of freedom of chose we really have, good or bad are still goin' to happen to test us.....

like in one of a dreams i was told, ''the countdown began''... Michael passed after that....
maybe we're at point of no return now, losing our planet? countdown for all of us?
global warming... we need just a lil bit more or wars & violence + epidemics, famine...

no one expected Michael will be taken from us so suddenly. he was here with us and in the next minute - already there, on other side.
the same with the end of times: no one will expect it.
bah and it's done.
 
FUJON said:
I feel you, Dimity *HUGS* the same here...

i got a warnings in the dreams also, but refused to believe it, throughs it's just evils spirits trying to confuse me? looks like not :(
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I had premonitions too Fujon, but like you I refused to entertain any such thoughts--I forced them out of my consciousness, yet one week before Michael died it was as though a dark cloud descended upon me. One day I was full of joy and energy, and the next day, for no apparent reason, I felt disoriented, lost, lonely and sad. There was no reason for me to feel that way. Everything was going so well... Yet I could not shrug off the sense of sadness and loss.

I'm glad that you are finding solace in Michael's music.
 
i think of michael up in heaven at the doors and anyone who comes in he asks them if they can moonwalk and if they can he lets them in if they cant he learns them

and if they are journalists well they stand no chance of getting in heaven thats how i cope

i imagine him sitting on a cloud eating KFC and the things he loved most
hes looking down on all of us he wouldnt want us to be unhappy

he would want us to be happy for his legacy to keep his memory alive

if you remember all the happy times he will never leave you all
 
i feel so desperate today. it's all hitting me all over again really badly :(
 
FUJON said:
i feel so desperate today. it's all hitting me all over again really badly :(
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awww don't feel bad, God's testing us, he's testing us to see if we can get through this. We can get throgh this but it's gonna take a while. :flowers:
 
thank you *HUGS*

such a terrible hard test :( don't know how to deal with it all anymore
it's a hell
 
still so surreal :( such a hard days, no words... it never will be better for me anymore. desperate, devastated, empty, sad, lost.

why my heart keep beating, Dear Lord? i wish to go home, too.
i have nothing to give to this world.

waking up every day and don't know what for? with every new day i'm dying with him again. i'm sick of my life. such a wound in heart and soul and such an emptiness around.

why it all happened now? so unfair :no:

raining here.. so many memories mixing in my mind, heart ache..

remember when Michael was so near, in poland or russia..
sensed his spirit and he made me happy just with his existence.

thinking about what he went through in life, how he was treated and misunderstood, all the pain he had, it's breaking my heart.

we had such a terrible thunderstorm a few nights ago. like when Michael passed...
i even thought it's my time came to leave, too. i had a hope, God will bring me home, too.
but it didn't happen, still living :( why????????????????

last night dreamt of music, heard it clearly like before.. had seen fans who imitated Michael..
had seen fortuneteller also.. but before they told be about my future i woke up :(

Michael, i missing you in my dreams :( where are you? i missing you so badly and sick of my life. i have nothing to live for anymore. no plans, no goals, no future. to live here now without you it's a torture.
 
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FUJON said:
still so surreal :( such a hard days, no words... it never will be better for me anymore. desperate, devastated, empty, sad, lost.

why my heart keep beating, Dear Lord? i wish to go home, too.
i have nothing to give to this world.

waking up every day and don't know what for? with every new day i'm dying with him again. i'm sick of my life. such a wound in heart and soul and such an emptiness around.

why it all happened now? so unfair :no:

raining here.. so many memories mixing in my mind, heart ache..

remember when Michael was so near, in poland or russia..
sensed his spirit and he made me happy just with his existence.

thinking about what he went through in life, how he was treated and misunderstood, all the pain he had, it's breaking my heart.

we had such a terrible thunderstorm a few nights ago. like when Michael passed...
i even thought it's my time came to leave, too. i had a hope, God will bring me home, too.
but it didn't happen, still living :( why????????????????

last night dreamt of music, heard it clearly like before.. had seen fans who imitated Michael..
had seen fortuneteller also.. but before they told be about my future i woke up :(

Michael, i missing you in my dreams :( where are you? i missing you so badly and sick of my life. i have nothing to live for anymore. no plans, no goals, no future. to live here now without you it's a torture.
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That which does not kill you will make you stronger. We need to be strong for Michael & for each other please don't give up.:angel::better:
 
in situation i'm in now, i just can't get stronger and i haven't a chance on it.
i feel like God left me :(

i even don't want to think of cold seasons here, depressing autumn or winter.
i feel like other bad things can happen to me.
i giving up.

with Michael all miracle went away from me :(
 
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