This may or may not have been mentioned on here already, I wouldn't be surprised if it has due to the size of the community here.
I was listening to "Blood On The Dance Floor" last night and track two, "Morphine" came on. It's a song I've listened thousands of times, but last night one word jumped out at me simply because it's been mentioned so much in recent weeks .... Demirol.
I had never heard of this drug before what happened to Michael, but the section halfway through "Morphine" has Michael singing to "Relax, this won't hurt you, before I put it in close your eyes and count to ten", before singing, "Demirol, Demirol, oh God he's taking Demirol". It's almost like he's singing about being given the stuff ... and this was back in 1997.
How the hell could the people "close" to Michael not have recognised this? To me, today, it sounds like an alarming cry for help that was ignored by those close to him, even his family.
I will plead complete ignorance and a severe lack of knowledge of the drug, but listening to the song last night sent the biggest, coldest chill rushing down my spine.
And today in the UK the papers are reporting that if the results of the toxicology reports show what the authorities expect it to show, then the Doctors who administered the medication and provided it will be tried with the MURDER of Michael Jackson and tried to the fullest extent of the law, including death.
It seems not a single day can go by without something "new".
I've recognized the significance of this song for some time. Sadly, one often must live something to understand a thing, as hard and ugly as it may be.
The song always made me sad because I knew all too well that Mike was more and more loaded with drugs in the last few years. I saw him nodding quite often (a unique sign of opiate/sedative abuse that makes one drift off; while sitting, talking, standing, etc.) It's a feeling that I know all too well.
I can feel the torture, the demons, the fear, and the anger in knowing the ability for opiates, like Morphine create. The song is full of anger and I understand that because it is a horrible addiction that only takes the pain away for a short time. It doesn't make you feel good for long because one needs more and more and more. Pretty soon it becomes a monkey on your back and you need a high quantity of the drug to feel 'normal'. Otherwise, withdrawals ensure the feelings of sickness and pain are a true nightmare.
The mid-section break in the song tells such a true story. Once one is unable to kill the pain, feel high, from an opiate, a much stronger one is the only way to feel good again. Therefore, the soft, haunting, yet soothing melody, "Demerol...oh God he's taking Demerol", is so symbolic of the feeling an injected opiate creates; instant and strong euphoria. This is a welcome feeling because it is a stronger opiate that can break through one's dependence level. With regular use of Vicodin, Oxycontin, Morphine, and Dilaudid for example, there are very few drugs that can break though and take the pain away after some time.
BTW: Dilaudid is NOT the same as Diprovan. Dilaudid is an opiate and Diprovan is an anesthetic. I have no doubts that Michael was taking these drugs (at least a few if not all, or more) along with strong doses of benzodiazepines (Valium, Xanax, Ativan). I am not saying this because I want to spread lies or put down Michael. Addiction is a disease. Some of you won't accept this. I have a very real understanding of the hell life must have been for Michael.
Sadly, addictions end in only one of two ways: recovery or death. Eventually, a person hits bottom, or has an intervention and then tries hard to recover from their addiction, or they die. It is that simple, and that sad. I've lived it and I've seen it. Unfortunately, even though I knew Michael was heavily addicted and I saw him hitting bottom soon, I didn't want to believe it would end this way. Rationally, yes, it makes complete sense, but my heart is broken. I've lost friends to addiction and it is never anything but a tragedy that hurts everyone involved in the addicted person's life.
I want to end by saying that I have no doubts that Michael would have done everything in his power, and may have found recovery, but in the situation he was in, being aided by all those around him, I understand how that was not a possibility. Every single person who provided him with doctors and fake Rx's has played a part in Michael's death.
I am almost certain that the doctor with Michael (from AEG) provided Mike with ANYTHING he wanted because AEG was set to make a fortune off the man, like so many others in his life did/have. It is a tragedy but not something that doesn't happen hundreds of times a day.
The word tragedy is used far too often and for the wrong reasons, but Michael's death in this manner is the definition of a true Shakespearean tragedy. I am sad as hell, even though I realize what's done is done. Hopefully this will help to end the horrible doctors that are more than happy to provided their patients with whatever they want...do anything for money.
:angel: Rest in peace, angel Michael.
