I'm so glad you made it through it alive lol
bless you! I think
@zinniabooklover will not be satisfied until I am
actually dead on the floor, or tarmac, or wherever in this case, lol. See below!
Hang about. You didn't throw your phone / tablet / whatever into the air? You didn't scream loud enough to shatter the aeroplane windows? You didn't yelp?
wtf is going on here?
DO YOU WANT ME ARRESTED FOR LEWD BEHAVIOR OR JUST ---
ok... I see the problem here. I think I need to paint the picture a little bit more. I am now cozy in my hotel. I am semi jet-lagged and have to get up in 6 hours, but this, THIS IS IMPORTANT. I will not stand by and be accused of sanity. Not today, or any other day!
What is this, please? This paragraph here? It is entirely rational and clear and articulate. Where are the staywildisms? Where is 'evaporated being'? Where is 'desperately desperate'? Where is 'hairstyle as sex'? What happened to 'puddle of nonsense'?
LOL well i did call myself a sex monster, but I suppose that's not so much a tried and true staywildism as a description of a feeling I was having whilst on this plane ride, but also just generally, because when I think about the fact that this man is just singing and dancing as an entertainer for the masses, and yet he makes me feel like a wanton husk of a woman, well, that's a whole separate issue...
Ok, so here's the painting of the picture:
I typed that entire message that I
thought provided some 'staywild' energy (but apparently failed to capture the true madness of the experience lol) while riding in the back of a cab, with the cab driver screaming in a foreign language (cliche or not, this is what happened) at some person driving the wrong way on the street, coming towards us. I typed it while trying to emotionally support this cab driver who was seeking my validation for his tremendous personal upset. Chaos was swirling. I was just trying to survive. Life, like love, is a battlefield, it turns out. As are the streets of Seattle nearing midnight in the backseat of a cab. Anyway, let me attempt it again.
Me, on plane: Awake 17 hours, running on 4 hours of sleep, plane is HOT SO HOT I MIGHT DIE HOT and I am angry at everything. But I did manage to time takeoff just perfectly with Michael singing "Beautiful Girl" and it was like entering heaven via the most extraordinary invitation. Nevertheless. I was not feeling great and I kept starting to fall asleep and then waking up and hating my entire life. So I decided to listen to an amateur recording of a Bad concert I found on YouTube earlier today.
And let me tell you, this shit WOKE ME UP. Just listening to Michael's singing and voice had me feeling insane, but you know what had me feeling
unhinged? hearing the crowd SCREAM and ERUPT and cry out at different times and not knowing what was inciting it. Perhaps every scream came from a woman getting actively pelted by heaps of Michael's fresh sweat dripping off of him! It is my personal hell to imagine a scenario like this where I am not the sole recipient of the sweat, but again, that's a whole separate issue. I was envisioning all sorts of things. Sweaty, illustrious sex curls, were of course part of this fantasy. But I was also imagining close-ups of the most intense, skillful thrusting, and all the touching, and his clothing fitting his body so tightly, and before I knew it I was imagining Michael getting arrested for lewd behavior...
Not really. But, it would be my luck that if Michael ever did go truly off the deep end and fulfill all of my depraved fantasies for him on stage, it would be during a show for which there is not a single frame of video footage available...
Anyway, the point is, this audio got my shit
activated.
So this, of course, led to me needing to see him. So I had downloaded the Wembley show (Bad, obviously) earlier in the day and hadn't really anticipated watching it. I actually consulted with myself on this matter and even consulted with my husband who knows more than anyone I am not even capable of being a faithful wife when I'm watching Michael, so there is no way I can be a decent citizen when exposed to him. But I no longer had any regard for this, so I pulled up the video on my phone, and propped it on the little tablet holder on the back of the seat in front of me.
As soon as Michael came on, I knew I was going to have a difficult time. And this is probably what led to the previous post, which I do defend as accurately presenting the situation, even if doing it less colorfully lol. The second I saw Michael and he started moving, I felt faint. Like, legitimately, I gasped and then covered my mouth out of embarrassment lol. I also immediately thought it was a mistake. Because legitimately, the feelings I experience when I watch him are not something I exaggerate on this board. I've said this before, but I actually kind of undersell it lol. I mean, these are not feelings any human should have watching someone
perform. The man makes me feel downright pubescent in the rapid, nonsensical, and completely uncontrollable response I have to him.
But here's the thing: of all the times I have watched little bits of Michael in public, typically resulting in my screaming, or gasping, or collapsing in on myself like a dying star, I have done so at a comfortable distance from other people. They can't see what I'm watching, nor are they sitting next to me with their leg and arm brushing against mine because airplanes, man. Airplanes. So this felt INTIMATE. And it felt INTIMATE quick. And this, somehow, SHOCKED me. Because I genuinely thought that the circumstance of sitting next to a complete stranger who could see what I am watching, and would be physically affected by me thrashing around in my seat, would be enough for me to, idk... just enjoy the music and the performance as, you know, A MUSICAL PERFORMANCE.
But that's not what happened. To be clear, I'm not saying I'm
incapable of JUST appreciating and enjoying the musical and performance aspect of Michael's concerts. That's obviously a massive part of it. It's just that... I enjoy those elements in conjunction with the burning fury of truly exhausting arousal permeating through me the entire time. So, it's not a
purely musical appreciation experience. It's... complicated lol.
Needless to say, a few seconds into WBSS and those deep fucking thrusts and I felt like I was OPENLY watching porn in public. But also I
wanted to scream. And I
wanted to thrash, and fling myself onto the wing of the aircraft, blinking brightly outside my window. But how could I when I had to focus so hard on keeping calm, so as to not reveal that,
for me, with how
I work, I basically
was watching porn in public, because I AM A SEX MONSTER, APPARENTLY.
So these were the thoughts swirling my head, while actively trying to maintain some sense of decency. But I kept feeling like I was going to get "caught."
But then, oh god... then there's this part in Heartbreak Hotel...
If you're a Bad tour psychopath like I am, you already know...maybe...
but there's this part where he does this intense, abrupt, (DEEP) thrust, and the fucking camera zooms right the fuck in on it, so like, it fills your entire screen, and god yes, I can hear myself, I know it only lasts approximately 2 seconds, BUT 2 SECONDS IS ALL I NEED WITH MICHAEL ---
Ok.
So.
That zoom-in thrust made me feel really self conscious because wtf was this man trying to do and also who was this camera person that day and why didn't they film every single concert and also wtf was this man trying to do?!!
Anyway.
I got through like 4 songs of the concert by pausing a lot and going to the bathroom once to calm down. Ultimately, the watching experience was incredible, and a highlight, especially because I have been very busy recently and haven't watched much Michael in recent days. But also it was STRESSFUL. I regret nothing, but also, I want to bury myself in hollowed tree.
So... yeah. Now with significantly more detail than literally anyone could ever want or ask for...
Well, this sounds promising. Perhaps you are sw23, after all. But I am not sure. If you are not, can we have her back, please? We need her over here. We need the madness, lol.
Who even is sw23?!!
Just a raw, weeping, husk of a woman. That's all. Just a hormonal freak who LOVES EVERY SINGLE BELT INCLUDING THE MASSIVE ONE. Just a horny mushroom, in a hotel room, with Michael on the mind, and no end in sight for this torment. I just....
...why couldn't he sweat on me at least once?
^^^This whole thing took me way too long to write, and I'm not convinced a single sentence of it needed to be said
Honestly, Michael wearing leather in general is just 
