Oh my God.
I'm so sorry to hear that honey. :hug:
I pray the dream means nothing bad. :angel:
Guys, I'm feeling bad lately. 
I feel like Michael is angry at me - because I'm not doing enough for him...and because some fans say things like I'm blaming him. :no: It makes me feel awful. I haven't seen him in my dreams lately, even after I cried so hard and said "You said you are drawn to people by need and now I need you." I don't know - maybe he has came to me in dreams but I don't remember it.:doh:
Also, I tried meditating and I got nowhere. And I know that in our last meditation he said such beautiful things about love but when he refers to us and talks about love, I don't know if he's including me.
He's my idol, I care about him, I don't want him to be angry at me or stop loving me.
Please don't feel bad or any of guilt some people like to impose on others (so that they can feel better about themselves).
Most grief counselors are very aware that around after a year after the passing of someone you care about, grief can suddenly wall up again like wave of tsunami coming at you. The funny thing is that in some people it won't be visible as obvious grief, but as emotional vampirism. Misery loooves company. I have noticed an enormous tendency of people trying to send others on guilt trips. They supposedly misbehaved, do the wrong things, feel the wrong things and are just generally being put down. And with some people, there's just no pleasing them. No matter what you say or don't say- it's all bad, nuts, crazy and "rabid".
Don't bother with the downers. Speak your own truth because only you yourself can know when and if you did what and so forth. Simply speak for yourself and speak your own truth. If people can relate to your truth, they will try to come to you if they resonate. I'll tell you sometimes people simply write me if they agree because they don't want to be ripped into shreds.
You can only speak your own truth for yourself, any attempt to "make" me agree with someone's standpoint by way of guilt, power over and attempts of personal put downs will be ignored.
MJ loved his fans very much- do you think it is an accident that on the rare occasion of a public speech his son would mention the fans? No. Not an accident.
Thousands of people around this globe have had the feeling that he is around- none of these things would have ever happened if Michael Jackson felt his fans to be mainly a nuisance bothersome burden that he wanted to rid himself of. (okay, seriously disturbed people and outright stalkers are a class in themselves, but I see no need to to class a big majority of normal people into the same group as a smaller minority of nut cases)
Grief is something that needs to be felt, experienced and in most cases that is a way to work through it. Not pretending it's not there and play "the glass is half full" if that's simply not how you're feeling. I agree that some people might benefit from professional help- but nobody should be made to feel "rabid", stupid, crazy, nuts and whatever else I have read in some threads.
Sometimes it's hard to forget that actual people are sitting behind screens when real insults and statements are being made that are meant to hurt and insult. There's also a tendency of the same people starting to get onto other people's case nonstop. If one doesn't return fire, they will pick someone else.
And sometimes it's simply useless to explain the same point over and over again to someone who doesn't want to see your point in the first place. Happens off the screen, happens in a forum. Just move on, steam over it, say want you want to say in your head and move on.
Why would Michael be angry with those that love him, think about him and at least make an effort to understand him? So people disagree, big deal.
One can disagree without making someone else feel like a horrible person.
You showed your concern for Michael, not tear him down. I got what you said. If people run out of arguments they start focussing on perceived "failures" of those whose "viewpoint" they oppose. At that point it's not a debate about a particular topic anymore, but just some need to get "even".
We presumably care about the person and the same issues here.
And last but not least nobody is obligated to take part in the emotional dysfunctionality of others. Nobody will pressure me to "agree" with anybody just to "be a good, obedient fan". I don't "serve" anyone, neither the Jackson Family, nor any particular fan groups or individuals who want to impose their views onto others. It's not that difficult to keep a point of neutrality without the need the descend either into blind obedience, nor bashing and trashing.
Michael has always said not to believe stuff that is being put out about him in the press. Fans should remember that and not maul each other because of some tabloid. Just think for yourself.
Much love to you, the next month is hard and we're all in the same boat. :better:
