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Its been a min but i have a problem!

MAKAVELIDAKING

MAKAVELIDAKING

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Joined
Jul 25, 2011
Messages
230
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Location
u.s
Hey my fellow mjj friends and comrads. I know its been a while. I'm famous for having the tupac avatar. I'm having a little crisis and only you guys at mjj board can really help me.i'm really stuck i know i have my son to live for but on the inside i just dont feel to happy with myself. Idk why but i just am. I'm not suciadal or anything i was when i was younger but in this point in my life. I feel like i'm only living for him. And what makes matters worse i feel so alone when i'm at home. I barley talk to anyone. I mean my lil sister and i uses to be really tight but she never comes to me any more to talk that really hurts cuz i bend back and fourth to be there for her. I even come between my parents when they discipline her just to defend her and i would end up getting punished because of it. She's only one year younger then me . Shes a senior in high school and i'm a freshman in college. Ever since i went to college she never holla at me like that. That really hurts. I mean i give her gifts all the time and i get nothing nor do i ask but damm could get something i mean at least once but hey i'm not complaining :). My lil bro he looks up to me alot but we cant really communicate like that yet. He's only twelve he wont beable to understand what go through yet. Then last but not least is my older sister ardine she is 21. But shes only older in age. In mind set and maturity along with street and books smarts i'm older then her. Not being crude just being real. So in that sense i'm the oldest child. I have more responsibility plus i'm a dad and i have a kid of my own. I am a father,son, and big brother to my family. With al that being said i have more stress my father has a doctorate in education and my mother has a masters degree in social working its hard to live up like that. I'm named after my father ardain. Thats my real name ardain. And my whole school career up until college i always have to look up to his standards. My father reputation was big with my teachers and it always put ia hold on me. My mother is my only true friend we have our ups and downs but for the most part we love each other dearly. Dam i love that women. But lately shes been sick and its hard on me. But since i'm the "oldest" i have to be strong. Damn i just want this pain to go away for me. All theses problem i have but the biggest one for me is i think i'm so ugly. I have low real low self -esteem. No matter what folks say i think i'm ugly. When i was younger i was real fat and chubby and the kids would crucify me severely. I hated myself so bad. But as i got older i got into sports and played football,soccer, and basketball.as a result i lost all my weight and stayed up. The women took note of that. But i never felt it. I still viewed myself as ugly and i still do to this day. My son is so cute but sometimes i wonder how a man so ugly can create such beauty. To sum its all up my problems are poor self-image, lack of appreciation cause feel with every thing i do at home no one appreciates me especially my lil sis for all the good i've done 4 her, not meeting up to my parents standards of excellence, and not being able to look in the mirror.i'm done for now give me some advice i really need it muah hugs and kisses
love,
ardain :)
 
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HEAR OF SOME PICS OF ME AND ONE OF MY SON. MAYBE I'M CRAZY BUT HEY I THINK I'M UGLY MAY BE I'M WRONG YOU TELL ME.
HERES THE LINKS 2 THE PICS.

http://i332.photobucket.com/albums/m349/MIAMI3054LYFE_1991/Ardain.jpg

http://c4.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images01/38/l_89761d2771ccfba5e42daaf4093e2083.jpg

http://c2.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images01/40/l_389895b02b69eb8867cc60168ff1a369.jpg

http://c4.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images01/21/l_c7a3e96bfc2fdfcdeed6082b1c970e13.jpg

http://c3.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images02/26/l_d843ac0d1cb14c349a56771dde3b6a12.jpg

http://c4.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images02/18/l_ade9178d9f724ec68061576c617505d3.jpg

http://c1.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images02/62/l_f8c479fe559241ea82d02cfb53805130.jpg

http://c3.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images01/28/l_294f5786e2bb31605c4cc03723505592.jpg
 
I'm sorry to hear that, but us here at MJJC are always here for you. I think you should try talking about these problems with your sisters and the rest of your family, talking it over helps a lot.
I know how you feel about being unappreciated, I have had it a lot with my family, you feel invisible and like nobody cares. I would say its best to get it out in the open :)

Ryan.
 
Can I just say you have absolutely no reason to feel yourself ugly! And I'm not just saying, but seariously. You look great :)

I'm sad to hear you're having a low point in your life atm :better: We're here always ready to listen if you need it. You seem like a nice guy, maybe you could just talk to your sisters and parents about how you feel, that you're tired to trying to live to their expectations and all, maybe that could help?

All the best to you :hug:
 
Thank you guys alot @ razz i do try to talk about them but they just i'm whining and for me to stop being a cry baby so after the first few attempts i quit.

And @the one think you hun i wish i saw the same in myself. I wish i knew what was so good-looking about me.
 
it just seems my hopelessness wont ever go away. at the same time i'm very optimistic about life. i just wish it could be good right now. i'm crying as i write this right now. i just need love. i haven't felt the hands of another in so long. but i want to be happy on my own first be four i find another.
 
MAKAVELIDAKING said:
it just seems my hopelessness wont ever go away. at the same time i'm very optimistic about life. i just wish it could be good right now. i'm crying as i write this right now. i just need love. i haven't felt the hands of another in so long. but i want to be happy on my own first be four i find another.
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A member called Nar comes to my mind, he had a similiar situation, maybe you'd like to chat with him about it? :)

I wish I could give you a huuuuge hug right now! :hug: I'm sure that you'll find a person you love some day and that everything's gonna work out. Remember that you can always talk to us and here you don't have to feel alone :)

And btw I just saw the pic of your son, he's adorable and he looks just like you! So just believe me when I say that you're a beautiful person, inside and out :) Keep the faith!
 
thank you so much honey.. i love the adoration thank you. i guess its a gift and a cures with me huh. when i was fat and called ugly i believed it to the point it stuck. now that i am " handsome and fine " i guess i still feel ugly. i guess god made it that way so i wouldn't be conceited lol :)
 
Aw, you're not ugly! I'm sorry to hear you're struggling, just remember you're never alone. We'll always be behind you. :hug: Your son is adorable by the way! :wub:
 
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nCpD72b-dfs

:)

I watch that whenever I feel a bit low. It always makes me feel better - especially when I see Michael's smile.

Hang in their buddy. Most of us have these down moments in out lives (I know I've been there) but if we find the strength inside, and just get out their and enjoy life, it does get better. You just need to ignore any negative thoughts in your head, and focus on all the positives in life. And if you dont think you have much positivity, then get at there and make it! That's what I did :)

Smile..... :)
 
Hey hun, your not ugly, in fact your a good looking guy. No one is really ugly anyway, its whats inside that counts and you seem to me to be a good inside and out.
Talk to your sisters and tell them how you feel, i know its not easy sometimes but once you have said whats on your mind it can then all fall into place and things can get better, its that openening up that can make things happen.
Its hard when you feel alone and sometimes all it takes is the courage to talk....
good luck hunny xxxxxxxxxx
 
tanks guys so much hun. i love you all. but how do you think i should approach them
 
umm... ok dude here's the deal:

1. When I saw the pics I was wowed. I thought i'd see a disfigured face from the way you're talking.... Dude you're good looking and that's the honest truth. You're son is cute because he took from his father.

2. Having responsibility is hard. But you can't let everything get to you like that. Your sister is a teenager and she has a lot in her mind, let her be for now, she'll come back later.

3. No matter what you think you are NOT the oldest brother in the family, even if you're sister is.. say less qualified. She is STILL the bigger sister. Take that load off your back, because she can handle it.... see how that feels ;)

4. If you think you have a poor social life then have some time for yourself, find someone to baby sit your son while you renew your social life.

5. Your father and your mother did not suddenly become professors, they know what you're going though. Try talking to them about this subject, you do have their support.

Trust me, I know how it feels like. But you should be lucky because all your problems can be dealt with. Life isn't easy, that's why we all have to fight :)

oh well... that's all I have to say, you have nothing to worry about man :)
 
I'm glad you felt you could reach out to the community here -- there are some great people here and I hope you feel the love from your fellow MJ fans!

I agree with the others who say you are a really good looking guy! However, I know other people telling you that doesn't mean much until you believe it for yourself. I was just having a conversation with a female friend of mine who is simply beautiful and unique looking, but she doesn't see it and I realize nothing I tell her will change her mind. I suggested she listen to the Christina Aguilera song "Beautiful" and TLC's "Unpretty" -- I know those both come from the female perspective but I love the lyrical sentiments.

So many of our beliefs about ourselves seem to come from childhood. I remember feeling awkward and didn't have many good friends when I was a kid and it's taken me a lot of work to overcome that, and I'm still working on it now at age 26. Many kids feel awkward or chubby or an "ugly duckling" and are cruelly picked on by peers and it's hard to work through those feelings of rejection and not being good enough.

I don't know if you have someone outside of your family that you could confide in, like a teacher, religious leader, close friend, etc? To me it actually seems that you are pretty self-aware about what your issues are, and maybe there is someone who can help you with them? It can be hard to approach someone to ask for help, but it can really be worth it!

Sending hugs and love to you and your son -- I hope you begin to feel better soon!
:heart:
 
Thank you all and you guys saying i'm good looking has boosted the ego quite a bit. You women have good taste in man i know this because you guys go coo and gaga 4 mj the only male sex symbol that matters and i'm a straight all thee way guy and i knew hes handsome as fuck. I wish i looked half as good. So it helps. And i will get better its just an ongoing experience. :)
P.S : TO THE WOMEN WHO RESPONDED TO THIS THREAD AND ON THE WHOLE BOARD WHICH PIS DID I LOOK THE BEST IN BESIDES THE ONE WITH MY SON. JUST CURIOUS TO KNOW. :) THANKS
 
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MAKAVELIDAKING said:
Thank you all and you guys saying i'm good looking has boosted the ego quite a bit. You women have good taste in man i know this because you guys go coo and gaga 4 mj the only male sex symbol that matters and i'm a straight all thee way guy and i knew hes handsome as fuck. I wish i looked half as good. So it helps. And i will get better its just an ongoing experience. :)
P.S : TO THE WOMEN WHO RESPONDED TO THIS THREAD AND ON THE WHOLE BOARD WHICH PIS DID I LOOK THE BEST IN BESIDES THE ONE WITH MY SON. JUST CURIOUS TO KNOW. :) THANKS
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For the record, i'm a dude but I don't mind telling people how good they look be it man or woman. In fact, I think my opinion matters more than women since there's .... you know... nothing sexual about it? LOL i know this is completely the wrong phrase but you know what I mean.

Anyway, if it helps, MJ had a lot of plastic surgery. you can have that as well if you wanted.
 
Hey Ardain :)

Firstly, it's great that you got all this out in the open. I agree with the others who have said that you should talk to your family about it too though - they'll be able to give you reassurance and a hug when you're feeling particularly low! If they really do feel that you're whining, approach it differently. Just say you'd like some advice perhaps. Secondly, you're not ugly. You do seem really genuine and open; these are great qualities! You clearly care about your family and your son and have a lot going for you. PM me if you need to talk hun xxx
 
thank you so much hun i really do love the fact. i'm cared about on the board. you guys love is really appreciated.
 
I'm probably not the best person to give you advice since I have truckloads of my own emotional shit that I haven't figured out how to deal with, but if it helps, I'd class you as a handsome guy, and this is coming from another straight male.

ASIS said:
Anyway, if it helps, MJ had a lot of plastic surgery. you can have that as well if you wanted.
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Really helpful advice there bro, LMAO.
 
OK, I feel your pain, the truth is that there should be no pain. You really need to see the world from another angle. Personaly what really hepls me and motivates me are people stories. Like this one:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v4uG2kSdd-4 Please watch it, you won't regret. Maybe try to watch the story of Johny Kennedy, but it is too sad. True that is the world and you should overcome you emotional problems, just get motivated, watch, read people stories, it really helps. Thank you!
 
i hear all you guys advice and i take it real personal and close to heart. but anther problem of mine is that i'm real good at holding back emotion. i can be real good and clam at school but when i get home in my room i turn into an emotional ball and cry my eyes red.i know thats bad but i cant help it.
 
MAKAVELIDAKING said:
i hear all you guys advice and i take it real personal and close to heart. but anther problem of mine is that i'm real good at holding back emotion. i can be real good and clam at school but when i get home in my room i turn into an emotional ball and cry my eyes red.i know thats bad but i cant help it.
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Hi. I cry all the time when im at home. Most of the time i dont even know why. My family find it hard dealing with the fact i really cant controll my emotions.

Your son is the cutest kid ive ever seen. You should live your life as best you can to try and make his wonderful! And i must say you must be crazy! Your GORGOUS! haha :D
 
Grand Master S said:
Really helpful advice there bro, LMAO.
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I actually don't see what's the problem with plastic surgery, if he really doesn't like the way he looks then why not change it? People always say looks don't matter so what difference does it make if he changed it a bit?
 
@ shaugnie thank you so much but thats twice today i have been told that i look gorgeous.i do not see any gorgeous features about me pleases let me know what you see.
 
Someone dresses fresh! (No homo) haha seriously though you look good with the way you dress and present yourself. Should be passing that on to your son!!
 
i find you to be very good looking too ,and your son is a cutie .
and the way you opened your heart on this thread . makes you beautiful . inside and out :huggy:.
 
Gugu_134 said:
OK, I feel your pain, the truth is that there should be no pain. You really need to see the world from another angle. Personaly what really hepls me and motivates me are people stories.
Like this one:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v4uG2kSdd-4
Click to expand...
Please watch it, you won't regret. Maybe try to watch the story of Johny Kennedy, but it is too sad. True that is the world and you should overcome you emotional problems, just get motivated, watch, read people stories, it really helps. Thank you!
Click to expand...

Thank You for postings this video~~~

As Always

:angel:
 
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