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How many of you like myself could not bring yourself to go to work or school today?

wish my family were more understanding,my mother just thinks i am an obsessed fan,and all she can do is just make me feel worse and my brothers and sisters,they all don,t help,they were good in the morning when i first spoke to them,it,s as if they think you should just cry for 2 minutes because it,s sad and then thats it,i have a 10 yr old daughter and my mother said to me you are over the top with all this,most people hide their emotions away from their kids,well i wish someone could tell me how too,i am just walking around in a daze,i am married and my daughjter means the world to me,michael was my life,i was so happy just waking up in the morning because he was here,and it was like having something to look forward too everyday,now what is there,i love mjjc to bits,this is part of my life too,but what is it without michael,i suffer from anxiety and have been on medication for years,but with michael i really never felt like i needed it,

michael i love you so much my heart is bleeding,i don,t think i will ever recover,why did you have to leave us,you didn,t have to go now,
you beautiful,beautiful,beautiful,warm,kind loving man,

the media and evreyone that ever made you feel sad,they are gunna pay,i,ll make sure of that,the bleeding hipecrits,see how they speak of you now,now they realise what has gone,

does anyone else here feel like they have gone from being sad to angry to sad again,i just hate the world right now,
 
why sis this hve to happen now? I womder if Michael was too anxios bout the 50 tour, cause he really din't wnt to o hat many. I junno.
I won't go out unil the services come around and I will go...
He is in a better place now and he doen't have worry about anymore lawsuits.
 
I did not go to work today. Called my supervisor at 6:30am and she understood and talked to me for awhile.

Was up all last night till my eyes were burning. Everytime I spoke to whom I chose about MJ on the phone (I did not cry) but when I hung up the phone I cried. I have only Cried with MJ fans on the phone. I canceled all my dance classes I teach cause my heart can't do it right now :( Shoot I might be fired at one place cause I e-mailed and it never went to the manager and he was acting like a (You know what) when he called me...but I don't care..I love my sutdents but I can go elsewhere.

I went to my hair appt today to get out the house. Got my hair curly again like Mike's cause it was the style I was wearing to the 02 and I wanted it to remind me of him a lil (I know weird) but hey! hehe. We talked there and I was able to educate some folks about MJ and they did not make fun of me but rather that asked quetions and wanted to know more stuff about things the media has lied about.

I've been listening to MJ radio tributes, his music, I put his posters up in my new apt (been here a year but just getting to it). Been crying! alot. Talking to MJ while laying on the bed. Having tummy and arm trouble! Alot going on but I'm praying for his kids and family. I just hope he knows he was loved.
 
I didn't go to work either. I only drank orange juice and had a chocolate brownie. I hope today I can be a little better. Thank God for the weekend!
 
im not going anywhere. and i havent eaten anything yet, although my ma kinda forces me to do lol
i feel so sick.
 
I had to go to work yesterday but I left as soon as I had done what I needed. Luckily I don't think anyone saw how bad I was, I wore a lot of base to cover my red eyes and face.

I am glad it is thw weekend now so I can hide at home.
 
I didnt go to school yesterday. I knew everyone was going to come up to me and say ''I TOLD YOU HE WAS DOING DRUGS!!'' and I didnt wanna hear this BS at ALL.
 
Gosh, reading all the stories, I don't feel so alone anymore.

While I was having breakfast before work in the morning, there was news about Michael having a cardiac arrest.
Then, when I walked into work, everyone was like 'have you heard the news?' and they all looked really sad at me. And I only thought they were talking about Michael having a cardiac arrest. But the plasma TV was on and I saw the headline 'Michael Jackson: Dead'.
I dropped my bag, as my eyes filled with tears and my heart broke. I walked into the cloak room to put my jacket in there and I just started to sob very deep and hard.

I wanted to go home so I could make sense of things and greive properley, but Iam the youngest one at my work (I work for a bank) and the older ones, the team leader and my manager were expecting me to go home.
So, I stayed becuse I thought Michael would not have wanted me to loose my good reputation with my manager by falling apart at a crucial moment (Despite me being young, I have managed to become the main person in my division that does all the work and meets the five main deadlines whilst keeping the manager happy)

I did manage to do my job, but my eyes were leaking tears all day no matter how hard I tried to control them. I didn't eat anything during the day and my chest ached all day. It was like my heart had been physically ripped apart.
 
These are the moments when one just wants to be alone and seen by nobody so you can cry out and hard the loss of your beautiful angel...but unfortunately people expect us to be as normal as usually. And the only thing you could do is pretend that everything's good until you find a small corner and finally let out your tears and sorrow for as lons as you can....I hope that no one notices my reddish eyes.......All I can do then is look at them all and expect a bit of respect.
 
It's Saturday over here and I am desperate to go back to work on Monday. I can't stop thinking of Michael the whole day. I need to go back to work to distract my sadness.
 
It's saturday over here and I'm about to venture out to work for about 2 hours....this is going to be hard....I cry at the drop of a dime....I don't know how I'm going to do this......i jus
 
I was crushed...still am crushed.

This is the first post I've made on the forum since hearing of the news.

My coworker told me WHILE i was working, i couldnt even focus. I felt like i was physically going into shock. I started to get cold and lightheaded. I forced myself to stay at work for another hour or so, but I couldn't take it, i left early. Friday i knew i wouldn't be able to get through work, so i called out and broke out into tears on the phone talking to my supervisor.

I cried in the car on my way home thursday, i prayed i didn't crash and could make it home. Thank God i don't live far from my home.

I've lost my appetite, i had applesauce and toast on thursday...i couldn't stomach more. Today, saturday, has been a little better, i really dont' know if my family knows how hard this is really effected me...they have given me space, and not said anything to me when i told them I MUST go to the funeral. Be damned my job...i need to say my farwell...

I loved that man so much, it hurts soo much..Lord help me. I Pray for his children and his family.
 
Speaking of lost appetites, mine is gone to...all I can stomach is fruit here and there....haven't had a real meal since Wednesday.....I miss him SO much....(does that sound crazy) missing someone you never met....All I know is life won't be the same without him....

R.I.P Michael
 
My entire life has been on hold. Could not do anything but cry and think of MJ.
 
It's not crazy to miss someone you've never met...face to face, because we have all met his heart. Our hearts met each other, became like peas and carrots :) Our hearts connected with Michael. And our hearts have lost a friend, a companion....

and so we grieve,...its going to be a long time before I can truely smile to his music, and memory without the pain of loss.
 
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