Silouette;3538683 said:
Well Jackie, I don't know. I've gotten advice to let him find ME.
But even at trying that, it ain,t working either. Lol. Nothing wrong in being choosy.
But one thing I won't do is just 'settle'....if you know what I mean.
Sorry, I don't have better advice for you. Being patient bites.
You can say that again girl. Not only does it bite, but it cuts and bleeds as well lol. I used to have that same theory that it is important not to lower the standards and not settle for anything less that what you feel is best for you, but i can very well understand those that subcome to all kind of compromises (once a dirty word for me, now that i've grown a bit i came to realize its usefulness).
At times, the loneliness can be so dreadfully haunting that you desperately need someone to be there when you wake up, to actually talk to, to hold you in his arms, and all that other stuff, even if it isn't the guy of your dreams. It can get so dark that you don't care who it is, as long as there is someone there
but that isn't fair – not only to yourself but most of all to the person that you would be using in such a way. Basically, we turn people into objects if we fall in traps of this kind and sooner or later there will be a price to be paid.
Someone could mean anyone, the person becoming irrelevant, but then the reverse of that would be
In order to answer the question of the thread i would have to pose some questions of my own –
a guy you like or a guy u love? Cause you might like many people, either because of looks or intelligence or common moral values, but if they are not the complete package then it ain't right.
Also, we must ask ourselves what we want from a relationship – do we want someone we can simply hang out with, go to the movies, walk in the park, do we want someone to join us at weddings and baptisms so family will stop asking questions, do we want someone we can have some casual sex with every now and then, OR
do we want someone for life to be there with us through thick and thin? I think only after we have answered those things in our own mind, only then can we go in search of someone, or let them find us, as you wish to view it.
If we want that last elusive thang then we need to open our physical and spiritual eyes as wide as possible and try to find that needle in the haystack with the right size and hole to fit our own and by that i mean
complete compatibility – mind, body and soul. Anything else short of that is doomed for failure. Sooner or later things fall apart if there is either only passion, spirituality or intellectual interest involved, or even a combo of two of these.
It has to be all three or it's bust.
Ashtanga;3539502 said:
I do not really know what to say.
The world and people are a complete mess :wacko: and love completely lost the value
, I have seen it in so many relationships. I believe the right person always comes unexpectedly in a person's life and of course, always have God's hand to make it happen. Sure! God will put the right person in his way at the right time. So, keep the faith!
I agree with you Ash, but most of all about the role of God in all of this, that's what matters most. In a blessed relationship there are two little human hearts and the great one of the Lord above who commands them to come together even in spite of the people involved. There may be all kinds of problem facing a relationship – the differences of character, the circumstances, the other people surrounding the two, but
if a relationship is built under God's blessing and guidance there is nothing anyone can do to ever destroy it. Sure some things and people may cause a dent here or there and things might get tarnished a bit, but with God's help everything can be restored and renewed and made to shine even brighter than before.
MJJLatvia;3539358 said:
umm, what?
*guy got lost in girl thread*
MJJLatvia;3539764 said:
Hmm, I'm quite young actually. I'm just 15 now (though in mind I feel a lot older). I don't think I can help much about this matter :lol:
Aren't you cute ? And only 15 as well. What a lovely age. God bless ya young man. I see you also have a great sense of humor, alongside the courage to step into such a mined turf as this one populated by us, girls
suzynyc;3543901 said:
To me it seems so easy for others to find someone. I see people changing guys like I change shoes. I don't know how they do it. It's hard for me because I really don't go out and socialize. They say to "put yourself out there" but I don't want to be seen or heard lol. Sorry, the only advice I have is one that I won't follow myself...just keep kissing (literally kissing...nothing else for a reasonable amount of time heh) lots of different princes (not all at the same time) and one day the right one will come along.
I agree with you about the i don't wanna be seen or heard part, in a bit different away than you though lol. There is that sayin about kissing many frogs before you actually get to kiss the prince, but i absolutely and totally reject that idea.
xthunderx2;3546301 said:
the best advice that I can give you...stop looking. that special someone usually comes along when we least expect it.
A person can be single for years,,and then one day,,is seems as though
that special person magically appears.
If onlyyyy it were that simple and that 'magical'. At times it can be a 'tad bit' more complicated than that and what i just wrote could easily fall under the understatement of the.....decade label lol.
I would also like to thank SS for her amazingly brave contribution to this thread. Homegirl, i am terribly sorry to read some of the things you wrote. What you shared with all of us are some very serious and more than painful problems. I can only admire you for your courage and honesty, but you already know how much i appreciate your brilliant mind, even if we'll disagree every now and then.
I really don't have any credibility to infuse any dose of self esteem to anyone when myself i'm rather shabby in that chapter, but let me tell you sister in as much honesty as possible – there ain't nothin' hideous about that face of yours girl. I don't know if it will help because this is told to you by someone who calls herself 'monster face' and has on occasion used the same word as you did when referring to herself, but i still mean it. Hey, even Michael himself thought he was 'repugnant reptile' or somethin' back in his darker days, so i guess we are in good company. I'm only jokin' of course, this is the kind of stuff no one should go through, whether famous or not. I won't try and sell any empty words to you – it can be very tough and it can take very long, decades even, but true love does exist and can be attained. Hopefully one day you will feel it, you deserve to.
Although i cannot completely relate to your experiences with some of your teachers who are deplorable human beings from your accounts, i can totally see how some of the smartest and educated people can also be the most condescent and cruelest creatures out there. Unfortunately education is not a guarantee for human decency and common sense, that is why i would much rather be in the company of a 'simple' person rather than a stuck snob who treats people like dirt only because they read a mountain of books out of which they didn't understand the most important things – how to be a good person.
My best advice for everyone here - MJ fans specifically - is to stop comparing every guy with him. Stop looking for another "Michael". Separate your love for him and your love for other people, because they cannot be compared on any level and honestly, there is no way on earth you're going to find someone exactly like him.
To whoever said "my heart belongs to Michael", I can understand that feeling but don't let it shut out other people because of that. Don't shut your heart out to other men. You will find someone and you will fall in love, trust me. And whether they have similar qualities to Michael or not it doesn't matter, but don't just close yourself off for someone you were never going to be with in the first place. Harsh, I know. But its true.
Go out and be happy, be yourself. Love will find you.
And the church goes......AAAAAAMEN!!!!! and falls of the chairs as well while clappin' so loud lol. God bless you kingofdisco, i cannot tell you how much i agree with your point of view. Yours is such a welcome, refreshing, healthy perspective that it needs repeating until most people understand it. I've written somethin' similar quite some time ago. There are plenty of good guys out there for girls to find. Not everyone is a jerk, believe it or not lol.
Michael Jackson not only is he gone, but even while he was alive he was
only one human being, he couldn't have possibly been all things for all girls that fancied him. Of course it was the politics of labels to make him seem the available guy singin' all them love songs to anyone who listened in, but the realities of his life were very different.
Some of you might want to have a second look around these messagebords, maybe you will be just as lucky as me. I never actually imagined i would fall for a fellow MJ fan, but when i least expected it, there he was. Considering how crazy i actually am about Michael, i am indeed lucky to have someone who understands most of my insanity.
As we joked at one point i did tell him Michael would've been the only man i would've cheated him with and that is quite funny because Michael was old enough to be my father. Normally, i wouldn't care for that age group. I've never been one to consider guys my age 'immature' and all that stuff. I believe there are great guys quite ok in terms of looks, mind and soul well in my age range. My guy actually is in his late 30s so there isn't really that much of a difference between us, only a few years.
Michael, on the other hand, was only 4 years younger than my folks. 'We' would have been smack down on the limit of what is supposedly considered socially acceptable as age difference between two partners – half the age of the younger one + 7 years. Of course the world won't ever find itself in that dilemma of whether they ought to take me and Michael as a serious item since he is long gone and i am taken.
And btw of this kind of arrangements, i remember reading a story about some 17 years ole girl marryin' a 51 y.o. millionaire. Her parents reassured the press of her virginity as it were some sort of prize. At her age the 'poor' man would've hoped at least that, right? Maybe i'm being my occasionally cynical self, but one cannot help but wonder what sort of solidity and future can such a marriage have. Other then considering that girl a 'trophy wife' how else could people react. Thank goodness i have none of the attributes to be considered that – looks, brains, possessions or lackthereof (compared to most people in my country, i'm more than well off, compared to homeless folk anywhere i'm obscenely rich and compared to millionaires and billionaires i'm a pauper, so i guess it's all relative).
There is no doubt in my mind that age ain't nothing but a number and
true love and complete compatibility can be found between two people quite far apart in terms of age, but at times
too much is too much.
Another 'interesting' story i read, but this time one that was completely repulsive was the one about the man in Thailand who 'married' his dead finance. They had been in a relationship for more than 10 years but he never proposed to her. They were gonna get married after he would finish his studies or something. The poor girl died in car crash, so he tried to 'make it up to her' by putting a ring on her dead finger. He also deemed it suitable to post a video of his macabre ceremony on his facebook account. If he loved her so much, he should've popped that question while she was still alive, not when she was dead cold. It certainly didn't do the girl any good, but it sure brought him and his future projects tons of publicity as well as tons of admireres, cause people can be twisted like that, and a pool of possible candidates from whom to choose the company in which he will, i'm sure no doubt, 'mourn' her loss.
The age difference gap, as well as the income gap has been a recurring theme in music. There is always that tension about a girl trapped between an ole' shaddy guy and some hunk and how true love must dictate and she must choose the younger lad. Take Mariah's video for
We belong together which picks up from where
It's like that left off.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0habxsuXW4g&ob=av2e
Seems like Eric Roberts has gotten the raw end of the stick cause he plays a similar character (up till a certain extent, over here he's more of a pimp) in the Killers'
Mr. Brightside
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gGdGFtwCNBE&ob=av2e
Sting sang from the position of the 'poor' guy in
When we dance
When he watches you
When he counts to buy your soul
On your hand his golden rings
Like he owns a bird that sings
In
Don't stand so close to me he was being the responsible teacher, while in
All would envy....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l8mP7Xu4m8s
Prince has a really good one on his 3121 album – it's called
Lolita
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uz8kd7zZCSM
Interesting stuff, isn't it? Another thing which has always buffled me and disturbs me a bit is the reference to lovers as 'papi'/'daddy'. Although i enjoy beyyyond measure this particular one from J Lo
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IgLcQmlN2Xg
i can't help but get a bit disturbed by the slightly Oedipal complex thing goin' on.
Why on earth would i need another dad? I've got a great one (even though we fight from time to time, but he's been very dedicated all his life to me and mom) at home and i also got the best possible dad in the Lord above. That's not what i need. I can slightly, but barely, understand how some women might see in men a protective force first and foremost that is a sort of fatherly figure (the George Michael song comes to mind lol), but still........
what i need is a man in every sense of the word who knows how to be MY man and my match in terms of body, mind and soul. Nothin' else does.
Songs like
Sugar daddy,
Daddy's home from Jermaine or Usher's
Hey daddy (where btw he is busy dancing with a bunch of girls, while his girl patiently waits at home and gets some sort of rock that is supposed to keep her warm at night apparently) really aren't my cup of tea, not that i drink tea lol. But some of their beats suuuure are on point.
One song that has the healthy attitude when it comes to these kinda things is
Baby father from Sade. Now thaaaat's the proper away of conceptualizing fatherhood.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XoHWjG6LUsA
Anyways, i like to think, in spite of all our problems in the past, that i did find that one matching soul to mine so i no longer have to feel that i am alone in this big, bad world and thankfully he can answer, although not all of the time,
YES to the following question of planetary importance
are you strong enough to be....my man?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4IBpVUWiI5E
And the idea above is well suited for a situation on the subway earlier this week. I was sitting down and in front of me there was this couple standing up holding each other by the waist. Maybe it's just the fox in me with a deep degree of sour grapes syndrome talkin', but when i saw the beer belly of the guy that girl was holding on to i thanked my lucky stars that my guy, although still a concept and an idea from a few points of view, looks nothing like that.
He has been keepin' most of his abilities in stealth mode, but that don't mean he'll keep on doin' that forever and once the circumstances will allow for him to unleash his potential i have no doubts he will deliver magnificently in every way.
I'd much rather stand on my own two feet and balance ish out (on the subway or anywhere else) thinking of my fine guy or be completely alone than settle for something which i know is incompatible to my needs, desires, aspirations and the hunger of all three of my shabby hearts.
It could very well be that girl on the subway was very happy with that guy, maybe she likes big bellies, but i like
my man lean
and mean (when necessary), with a sharp mind, a warm and big human heart unafraid to show emotion and who will know why the good Lord made him so fine in so many ways and how he should use
all the gifts he was given.
Not only is he that, but he is also
my soldier. And nope, he don't need no rocks to keep his mouth gleamin' cause he got the most wonderful smile ever and no spendin' loot is necessary either. All he needs is his geek credibility and his ability to keep......:cheeky:
[video=youtube;Yia7vaSOeGU]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yia7vaSOeGU[/video]
And since me & my geeky soldiah like to roam around the jungle and scream our lungs out.......
:lol:
