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Have you changed since june 25 ?

Yep, definitely changed. The light has been switched off and it feels like they'll never be anything special to look forward to ever again. Sorry to be depressing, but on a positive, this place has helped enormously.
 
Yes, I feel that I've changed a lot and in so many aspects since June 25.
 
June 25th... eh, I don't wanna repeat the same story again but I've learn a lot after it.

Now I understand people a lot better. I mean A LOT better. Really.
 
I believe I have changed since becoming an MJ fan in the first place, when I was 13 years old...Of course, more so since Michael passed though...I see the world in a different way...I appreciate the little things in life; I don't judge people (or try not too) I just feel different...I can't explain it to it's fullest, though....I L.O.V.E. more!!
 
for me the only change is that im an empty shell walking around.....
 
The only thing that really change for me since that really horrible day. Is that I had started to really believe in God and Jesus more. Before that I was you could say an atheist. And I turn my back on my Brethren religion. I am Amish and Mennonite descent. So turning my back on back on God and Jesus is like really bad from where I come from. But now I want to try and be a good Brethren again.

But other than that. Nothing has really change for me. I am as sad, miserable, and depressed as ever before. Because I just miss Michael so damn much. My insomnia has return because of it. Every single thing I see, hear, read, or do reminds me of him in some way. Every single time I hear or read a date before June 25th 2009 it automatically makes me think that I still had Michael then. Then I just start to cry. And then it tends to make me wish that it was that date again. A date where I felt happy because Michael was still here with us. But ever since that really horrible day my happiness and any feelings that are similar to that like joy and excitement is forever gone from me. A huge part of me really did die with Michael on that really horrible day. And I am never ever going to get that part back.
 
I changed alot when our angel went to his place again, I changed how we should deal with each other. I changed in looking at charities. I became more aware how much he did for us the people on earth and with that I support alot more charities al because of him.
Miss you Michael :angel:
 
i find myself being more depressed by what happened, not a day goes by that i dont remember june 25th, I also take a look around and wonder why these ppl are still here and michael isnt
 
That day had the biggest impact in my life. I was allways a nice person, trying to find a good in people, no matter how many times I have been dissapointed, and I have been...too many times.
Since 25.6., I became angry deep inside, still feeling like walking in the nightmare.
Since that day...I am not waisting my time on people who do not deserve it.
I am helping those who are in need...but I have bein doing that a long time before.
But yes....I am a walking zombie. Michael was ( and still is ) my shining star.
I would give anything to have him back.
 
zpredra5 said:
That day had the biggest impact in my life. I was allways a nice person, trying to find a good in people, no matter how many times I have been dissapointed, and I have been...too many times.
Since 25.6., I became angry deep inside, still feeling like walking in the nightmare.
Since that day...I am not waisting my time on people who do not deserve it.
I am helping those who are in need...but I have bein doing that a long time before.
But yes....I am a walking zombie. Michael was ( and still is ) my shining star.
I would give anything to have him back.
Click to expand...

I feel the same. I have been so sad that I just became so empty inside :cry:
 
I started to question God will, really... like

sooo.. If I do good things in life, maybe not good things will happen.
At least God should let mike finish his concerts.
It reased a lot of questions about God.

Why why Why!!!,

maybe God is not that good, mybe he kills when he/she gets boring...

or...

God let MJ die, or was MJ free will. to choose Murray let him inyect that crap.
still God could, do something like... Idont know, let murray realize that something was wrong.

any way... I feel like crap...
 
Yes absolutely. I'm a completely different person than I used to be and even a few of my friends have commented on this. I've definitely grown up a lot and I've become a lot more loving and caring. Michael has truly impacted my life in a HUGE way. It's unbelievable. I've also believed more in myself and learned to accept EVERYBODY, no matter who they are. I have always tried to do this, but now I actually DO this. I have almost made some bad choices in the past but Michael helped me pull through and realize how stupid they were. Michael has changed my life for the better.
 
I felt a loss of drive and determination. It takes a lot to get me to feel motivated to do a lot of things, since then.
 
I remember the first time I went to the o2 after Michael's death like it was yesterday. I couldn't go to the vigil as I had just come back from a week in Berlin so couldn't take the day off work, plus I couldn't face it. I went on a cloudy day in early August and as I walked around the o2 all I felt was emptiness. This place was meant to be filled with the excitement of Michael's presence for months to come. Instead I walked around this arena feeling so sad and alone. It was like the place had its essence ripped out from it. As I signed the wall I ended up speaking to a woman who used to be a hairdresser for Jermaine and Tito. She told me the first time she did their hair for them it took every ounce of strength not to ask about Michael!

But two years ago the o2 to me was just another arena. An impressive one but an arena. But now it will always have that connection to Michael. It was meant to be Michael's home for eight months. His passing left it so empty. But his spirit does live on in it. This is where Michael fans meet for meet ups and on these meet ups his spirit is back there, all over the place. Its not the same as him physically being there but at least his spirit is there. It is through his music and his fans that Michael lives on.
 
Yes.

That was the day that I looked at him with my heart, for the first time, although I knew him before his passing, like any person anywhere in the globe did, and does.

June 25th is forever marked in my soul as the day I looked at LOVE and asked myself why I didn´t notice it before.

I may be the only one in this thread that became a fan after June 25th... but as crazy as it may sound, I feel like I´ve always been his fan. I just didn´t know that before that day. It´s strange as if feels like I´ve been missing something and not been aware of what it was... and now I know.

I know that knowing and loving him is the greatest privilege of all, and it´s a huge responsability to have. I also learned a lot about the midia and I try to research and reflect about everything I read, not believing at it at first, without analysing the truth (or lie) behind it.

I divide my life in B.M and A.M. There´s no way I could change back to the person I was before knowing him. I remember that person, but I don´t recognize her anymore.

I try to have more patience with people. I try to put myself on other people´s shoes so that I can understand them. I think about the future of mankind and the planet a lot more often than I used to. I keep wondering what I´m supposed to do in this world, to really make a difference. I think a lot about those things... after June 25th.

And I miss him in the only way I can miss him... through his music, his legacy and his fans... (yes, you... your precious memories, your stories about him, the stuff that is shared in this community and others that I make part).

And I´m glad that I love him, and I know that this love will last forever.

So, basically, that´s what has changed in me since that terrible day. It was only my heart.

Good topic, thank you for creating it.
 
Siyahamba said:
I felt a loss of drive and determination. It takes a lot to get me to feel motivated to do a lot of things, since then.
Click to expand...

yeah I feel that too. For me even making music is hard now. And I love making music :( But I am trying.. to have more strength. Sometimes I am really weak and tired though
 
Lalinha said:
Yes.

That was the day that I looked at him with my heart, for the first time, although I knew him before his passing, like any person anywhere in the globe did, and does.

June 25th is forever marked in my soul as the day I looked at LOVE and asked myself why I didn´t notice it before.

I may be the only one in this thread that became a fan after June 25th... but as crazy as it may sound, I feel like I´ve always been his fan. I just didn´t know that before that day. It´s strange as if feels like I´ve been missing something and not been aware of what it was... and now I know.

I know that knowing and loving him is the greatest privilege of all, and it´s a huge responsability to have. I also learned a lot about the midia and I try to research and reflect about everything I read, not believing at it at first, without analysing the truth (or lie) behind it.

I divide my life in B.M and A.M. There´s no way I could change back to the person I was before knowing him. I remember that person, but I don´t recognize her anymore.

I try to have more patience with people. I try to put myself on other people´s shoes so that I can understand them. I think about the future of mankind and the planet a lot more often than I used to. I keep wondering what I´m supposed to do in this world, to really make a difference. I think a lot about those things... after June 25th.

And I miss him in the only way I can miss him... through his music, his legacy and his fans... (yes, you... your precious memories, your stories about him, the stuff that is shared in this community and others that I make part).

And I´m glad that I love him, and I know that this love will last forever.

So, basically, that´s what has changed in me since that terrible day. It was only my heart.

Good topic, thank you for creating it.
Click to expand...

I can relate. :hug:
 
Lalinha said:
Yes.

That was the day that I looked at him with my heart, for the first time, although I knew him before his passing, like any person anywhere in the globe did, and does.

June 25th is forever marked in my soul as the day I looked at LOVE and asked myself why I didn´t notice it before.

I may be the only one in this thread that became a fan after June 25th... but as crazy as it may sound, I feel like I´ve always been his fan. I just didn´t know that before that day. It´s strange as if feels like I´ve been missing something and not been aware of what it was... and now I know.

I know that knowing and loving him is the greatest privilege of all, and it´s a huge responsability to have. I also learned a lot about the midia and I try to research and reflect about everything I read, not believing at it at first, without analysing the truth (or lie) behind it.

I divide my life in B.M and A.M. There´s no way I could change back to the person I was before knowing him. I remember that person, but I don´t recognize her anymore.

I try to have more patience with people. I try to put myself on other people´s shoes so that I can understand them. I think about the future of mankind and the planet a lot more often than I used to. I keep wondering what I´m supposed to do in this world, to really make a difference. I think a lot about those things... after June 25th.

And I miss him in the only way I can miss him... through his music, his legacy and his fans... (yes, you... your precious memories, your stories about him, the stuff that is shared in this community and others that I make part).

And I´m glad that I love him, and I know that this love will last forever.

So, basically, that´s what has changed in me since that terrible day. It was only my heart.

Good topic, thank you for creating it.
Click to expand...

You're not alone. Before he died,i just live my life.I felt like i've miss out a lot for being a fan after his death.
When i watched his interviews on that day,i was thinking god i didn't know he was such a kind and caring person. I felt so sad and couldn't stop crying. I cried because I didn't get to know him sooner. I cried because such a good person gone though so much turbulence. I cried because i didn't defend him during 03-05 though at that time i knew he was innocent, I cried because we've lost such a great person...
Since that day my heart is broken. I learn the word L.O.V.E.
i start to care people around me and help people as much as I can.
I also start to appreciate things around me. He made me believe that I can make a change if i want to.
I just wanna say thank you to him cuz he teaches me so much values in life.
 
snowhite said:
yes, I feel empty very empty inside
Click to expand...

mmm same here...

I envy those who improved some aspects of their lives...I hope I'll be able to learn better.
So far i feel robbed of the things that give meaning to my life and shaped me into who I am,what i like,what makes me go on...everything points to music,my job,the way I conceive art,the world,my lifestyle..everything.
I literally feel robbed.
 
I changed for better the day I became a fan, but now after his death a big part of me died forever.
 
As someone said;
don't mess around, now your time's worth, choose
value friends
be loving even to "silly sausages" and especially towards them
following my goals and dreams
hug generously (as he hugged...me)
learn learn learn
survive no matter what
 
Oh, i just had to post here.

YES, i've changed. Tremendously.

After about a month of depression, I officially became an atheist. I've never been religious, but i never really sat down to think about god in any real way, i just accepted "spiritual" or "agnostic" as fine definitions for my beliefs.

Atheism is not about "rejecting" god, it's more about embracing life and accepting this life is all there is to our existence. I want with all my heart to believe that Michael is in heaven, but i don't think he is. We all robbed him off the life he deserved, and that even includes the loving fans, who, even though gave him the love he needed so much, were also part of the reason behind his isolation and loneliness.

LIFE is what matters. Michael's life was a gift to us. We took it for granted. I will never do that again.

A small reason behind my accepting atheism, is that even though I've always absolutely loved Jesus' message, and always thought he was an admirable human being, (all the while admitting ignorance in terms of his divinity), I believe in my heart that Michael went above and beyond Jesus. If any human being deserves to be the founding rock of a religion, it's Michael.

(Please, to all the Christians, don't take this as an attack to Jesus Christ. I am talking about the historical figure, not Jesus our Lord and Savior. Attacking my beliefs about his divinity would be similar to attacking Jews for not believing in him.)

Although I ADORED Michael since i remember myself, my adolescence coincided with what the media dubs as his "fall from grace" - i was 15 in 2000. Between my being too involved in my own life and emotional turbulence, and him being attacked more and more viciously by the media, i slowly became a closeted fan, loving him quietly and from a distance, not following him. In 2005, i did not follow the trial. I ate the "facts" the media spoon-fed me, like everyone else, and was surprised when he was pronounced Not Guilty. I did not expect the depths of depression i plunged in after June 25 - and I am now resolved NEVER to let someone I love slip through my fingers. I tell my mom, my dad, my brother, my grandfather, my friends, everyone who is close to me, how much I love them, every day.

I never want to feel the regret I felt when after days and days of youtubing him, i realized that not only was he not "weird" between 2001-2009, but he had grown, he had matured, he had become the best version of himself he could have. I cannot believe i was not there to witness and appreciate that growth.

FINALLY, i was never fond of children. I now look at them, and my heart flutters. I see Michael in all of them. I used to actually dislike children - found them annoying, noisy, bothersome. Now i cannot even describe the warmth i feel inside when I see one.

I was so upset to discover one day that i have started to think of him as dead, and that i was no longer shocked my his death. I wanted so much my claim that "I WILL NEVER GET OVER IT" to have held true.

I miss him with every cell in my body, with every beat of my heart, with every breath i take, with every tear i hold back. I can't do anything about it than to ask myself "what would Michael do?" and "what would Michael think" and "what would Michael feel"? I am a better person because of him. I never looked into his eyes, i never felt his skin under my fingertips, i never kissed his eyes and forehead and lips and cheeks and forehead again like i always wanted to, I never told him i loved him. But no one holds my heart the way Michael does. And no one ever will.
 
Lalinha said:
Yes.

That was the day that I looked at him with my heart, for the first time, although I knew him before his passing, like any person anywhere in the globe did, and does.

June 25th is forever marked in my soul as the day I looked at LOVE and asked myself why I didn´t notice it before.

I may be the only one in this thread that became a fan after June 25th... but as crazy as it may sound, I feel like I´ve always been his fan. I just didn´t know that before that day. It´s strange as if feels like I´ve been missing something and not been aware of what it was... and now I know.

I know that knowing and loving him is the greatest privilege of all, and it´s a huge responsability to have. I also learned a lot about the midia and I try to research and reflect about everything I read, not believing at it at first, without analysing the truth (or lie) behind it.

I divide my life in B.M and A.M. There´s no way I could change back to the person I was before knowing him. I remember that person, but I don´t recognize her anymore.
I try to have more patience with people. I try to put myself on other people´s shoes so that I can understand them. I think about the future of mankind and the planet a lot more often than I used to. I keep wondering what I´m supposed to do in this world, to really make a difference. I think a lot about those things... after June 25th.

And I miss him in the only way I can miss him... through his music, his legacy and his fans... (yes, you... your precious memories, your stories about him, the stuff that is shared in this community and others that I make part).

And I´m glad that I love him, and I know that this love will last forever.
So, basically, that´s what has changed in me since that terrible day. It was only my heart.

Good topic, thank you for creating it.
Click to expand...



My dear God, one of the most beautiful and sincere things I have ever read in my whole life. Thank you.
 
- I started to pay closer attention to the things he said and the lyrics he wrote. Some things really make you think in hind sight.

- I feel for MJ even more so than ever before. What I mean is, I often think of how lonely he must have been and how he truly never really had much of a significant other to speak of. I consider how so many of my friends are "depressed" when they are single for a few months and often tell them to look at people like MJ. People will say "oh he had his fans" and stuff like that, but any real human being knows that is not the same. I wish he would have had that "other kind" of love to speak of.

- I have gained an interest and I am currently going to college for psychology. I have always loved to help people but I noticed that has really increased as of late. I want to counsel children and teenagers and I really think I got that desire to work with them in particular through Michael. I almost feel like I have to carry out his message of healing and love.

- I try to be more calm. I'm not sure if that has to do with MJ in particular. But as of late I just try and not get so worked up over things. I try so hard (even more so) to make sure everyone is happy and to be there for the ones I love and the ones that I know love me back.

- I think about him all the time. I mean, I've been listening to his music and watching his videos and performances since I was 3 (I'm 21 now). But I think I somehow manged to increase that. I find myself now thinking about him even when I'm not listening to music or anything related to him. I often think of what he would be doing right now and why he has yet to truly have justice.

I miss him so, so much. To quote "Don't Walk Away": "The pain gets stronger everyday". And I really did not think it would. I thought it would get easier with time but it has not.

Wow I really didn't think writing this would tear me up. But I love reading how everyone has become a better person.
 
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