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Guys on this board..I hope you don't mind my asking...

Do you dump a girl because she doesn't want to get physical with you?

  • Yes

    Votes: 10 30.3%

  • No

    Votes: 16 48.5%

  • Maybe

    Votes: 7 21.2%
  • Total voters
    33
Okay I'm not a guy but since other girls have answered, I'll throw in my two cents...(Even though on the other hand, maybe I shouldn't because it can easily turn into a rant..:scratch: :lmao: ).

I think there are guys and girls who'll dump someone if they are not "getting any" right away or soon enough. I don't think one can say "all guys are like that", because that's not true. There ARE guys who are respectful and better than that....(they are just rare and hard to find...:huh: :lol: ). But I think the guys who want to "get it on" from date one on...usually only look for sex anyways, and it won't get into "date two" if you do it on "date one". There are guys (and girls) who are not interested in having a relationship, but just someone to sleep with.

I guess everyone has to do what feels right to them. And I guess both need to respect the other ones "timeframe". I mean, if the other one wants to wait until marriage and the other one doesn't....it can get complicated, but again, it depends on the person I guess and I think everyone needs to have the right to say "Okay, this won't work for me" in that case.

I think if a girl has the right values and enough self-esteem and selfconfidence, she'll be alright. Yes, there are guys who are only after the one thing, but do you have to hang out with them? If I think a guy is only interested in sex, I leave. Simple as that. I know he won't be "the one" for me, so why waste my time? I know what I want, it's that simple.

Anyways...enough about that now. :lol:
 
we're talking about the majority of men and the majority of women. statistically the men who are after sex and only sex in a relationship are way more than the women who are after the same thing. of course there are men out there who respect women and look for a real relationship but those are very very few.
 
Do you dump a girl because she doesn't want to get physical with you?

Yes, I have done so before. Sex is an important part of a relationship. If they're not into it then I'm not into them. I'm sorry, but I can't have one without the other. Well, actually I can. I can have sex without the relationship quite easily. But when it comes to having a "relationship" without sex, we might as well be "just friends".
 
Bob George said:
Do you dump a girl because she doesn't want to get physical with you?

Yes, I have done so before. Sex is an important part of a relationship. If they're not into it then I'm not into them. I'm sorry, but I can't have one without the other. Well, actually I can. I can have sex without the relationship quite easily. But when it comes to having a "relationship" without sex, we might as well be "just friends".
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they might be very much into it but not into it from the very first date ? they might want to get to know someone well enough before they have sex with him.
 
summer said:
I think there are guys and girls who'll dump someone if they are not "getting any" right away or soon enough. I don't think one can say "all guys are like that", because that's not true. There ARE guys who are respectful and better than that....(they are just rare and hard to find...:huh: :lol: ).

I guess everyone has to do what feels right to them. And I guess both need to respect the other ones "timeframe". I mean, if the other one wants to wait until marriage and the other one doesn't....it can get complicated, but again, it depends on the person I guess and I think everyone needs to have the right to say "Okay, this won't work for me" in that case.

I think if a girl has the right values and enough self-esteem and selfconfidence, she'll be alright. Yes, there are guys who are only after the one thing, but do you have to hang out with them? If I think a guy is only interested in sex, I leave. Simple as that. I know he won't be "the one" for me, so why waste my time? I know what I want, it's that simple.
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I agree with everything u said, Summer.
Most men are like that, but certainly not ALL of them.
I always wanted to wait until I'm married, and I always thought this is the safest way in many aspects, especially to know if the guy is really interested in u or in ur body... For instance, when I started dating my boyfriend I told him I wanted a steady relationship and would not "put out" till I'm married....that didnt mean I was going to marry him, but during our relationship we were going to find out whether we would marry or not... and he totally agreed...
And since our first month together we knew we were meant for each other....we're together for 4 years and a half almost, and call us old-fashioned but we're virgins and we know that when we get married our first time will be very special...
And I know he's the one for me because I know that no other guy would agree to that or even be that long with me without doing it, unless he really loved me...and I know he does...that is the biggest proof of love, IMO :wub:
So, girls, dont give up...there are still some gentlemen out there...and if he really loves u, he wont be a jerk! :yes:
 
^ you can have couples going at it like bunnies from the first week, but it doesn't mean the bloke isn't a "gentleman" nor the girl being some sort of slag.

Roxanne said:
they might be very much into it but not into it from the very first date ? they might want to get to know someone well enough before they have sex with him.
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he said a "relationship", so obviously he doesn't mean an expectation on the first date.
 
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"going at it like bunnies" :lol: hahaha loved the expression...but well...at least get to know each other well first is my advice...why hurry? why rush into things? the world is not gonna end tomorrow...
and i respect ur opinion, but IMO going at it like bunnies in the first week is being a skank...:unsure: sorry!
 
No I don't. In fact, at the end of the day I really could care less about that. Now when I say that some dare question my sexuality which is interesting but whatever.

Do I enjoy it? Well of course. But honestly, I think its an over rated aspect of a relationship. There could be so much more than just that non-stop. I had a gf that only cared about that and lets just say we had some "close calls" I guess you could say. Well according to her at least. Well, I made the decision that we shouldn't get involved like that as often as we had been and she was fine with it at first. Then she said that I must not be attracted to her anymore. And then when we started again it was "all you care about is sex"....yeah.

If you're a horny child then chances are you will say yes. Not all but most seem that way from what I've seen. But as I read recently in an article "Most people over the age of 18 understand that theres more to love than the physical aspect of it".
 
go arXter, lol.

i find that MOST, majority all woman.
think that MOST, majority guys think YES......

define majoirty? the people you know? see on tv?
 
I like my girls attractive and uneducated. Bonus points if they have low self esteem. Woo!
 
Personally, being on the singles market stinks...too many focus on the outside...

Call me old fashioned....but...
I was never a hoe bag although I could be, I wasn't raised that way, I take pride in who and what I am about.

Therefore, I am very perticular on who I go out with, and when we decide to have intimate relations...

I think its important to be on the same wave length...

Therefore, Linda, if a guy dumbs a woman because she won't give it up right away..then he is not worth her time...

Life goes on...Next..!
 
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^^ I feel similar to you on the subject.

I wouldn't go out with the kind of guy who doesn't respect my values. I do tend to be crazily picky with who I date lol . Because of that I've only dated really respectful guys though, and I haven't ever felt pressured to do anything that I don't want to.

In conclusion I've never been dumped for that reason because I always let a guy know where I stand before we start dating.. so the ones who want 'sex now' can run the other direction before they get involved with me, and I like that.
 
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wow, this thread is depressing :lol: I am doomed. :lmao:

Kudos to you Scorpio. :)

I have been single for a while, and last year I was seeing this guy- I barely knew him and didn't want to get physical with him, but that's ALL he wanted. It lasted like maybe a total of 5 "dates" (which weren't really dates). The last I saw of him, he dropped me off at the bus stop and never called again.

While I'd love to have a boyfriend and some company, I am pretty scared of dating right now. Not a single guy I've tried to get to know in the last few years has not tried to get physical on the first date. And that's a damn shame. I feel like I am damned if I do (they will never call again) or damned if I don't (they will never call again) :lol:
 
I don't care if you're male or female, if you want to get physical on the first date then I would consider you a... well fill in the blank.

Personally, I've had one person that I've been with. But I've had many relationships and I never had much of a problem with girls wanting nothing but to sleep with me. But it has gotten to the point now that I don't date randomly like a lot of people do. What I mean is I make sure the person actually means something to me before I consider them a gf. I make sure to pay attention to their motives well in advance.

Recently there was this girl I started talking to. She went to my school that I graduated from and then she contacted me online. We started talking and I wouldn't even say she was my friend at that point. But in a matter of 3 online conversations, I kid you not, she flat out said I should go to her house and sleep with her. Now most guys would say "Take that offer" but I don't do that and well, I later found out she gets around way to often anyway.

I dont know. I guess I've just been blessed with the ability to not just do whatever with whoever anytime any place. I'm told I'm nuts, but Id rather have the thought process that I have than the one most of my friends have. Because sex has gotten them in many, bad and or tough situations.

So its not just guys that do these things. In all honestly, I've probably personally known more girls that act this way than guys. And to those that have gone through this, trust me there are good guys out there so the last thing you should do is concern yourself about it. Yeah it can become lonely, I know, but I'd rather be happy with someone I know I love than not be happy with someone that I just like to sleep with.
 
^Great post.

I think too much importance is placed on sex- why on earth is it that important? I know why it should be important, but I find that some people place too much importance on it, not knowing why it's important in the first place.


(if that makes sense lol)

It's taken far too lightly these days, that's for sure :yes:
 
What I find funny is that girls and guys (and girls still way more) who do have sex on a first date are somehow 'bad' while those who do not are somehow 'good'.
To me that's :doh:.
If someone doesn't have sex on a first date they don't.
If someone does have sex on a first date they do.
Ppl are free, isn't that nice!

As much as I'd never judge a person on a sexual basis only... I'd never judge a person only because they refrain from having sex and for sure not in some 'good vs. bad' category... in the end how superficial is that... probably as superficial as sex on a first date?! ;D

See I prefer to handle my life the way I think it's good for myself and responsible towards myself AND others.
So may everybody do or not do on their first date whatever they like... the need for ppl to categorize ppl (and especially on the basis of really what!!!) is kind of as amusing as annoying to me lol really really.
 
People are only trying to live up to what they think is their cultures expectations of them, which is demonstrated to them through the media and through what their peers and older generations discuss.
 
L.J said:
People are only trying to live up to what they think is their cultures expectations of them, which is demonstrated to them through the media and through what their peers and older generations discuss.
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Right. In places of the world where virginity is a taboo subject, you tend to see less of this reckless behavior, generally speaking.

---
Anyway, I think I've changed my mind about men when it comes to this topic... at least for now. :lol:
 
Maybe more reckless behavior but are ppl also happy(ier) with their sex life? or do they only 'not' talk about it better?

Virginity is so overrated.

Let's be rrrrrrrreally honest I didn't feel I made a 'gift' to the guy with losing mine lol geeeez not at all. It was not rrrrrrrreally special... just maybe a special mess. And I felt emberassed cuz although I knew what would happen I didn't count with it like that. Looking back now... it's not I'd wish to have with someone with whom I want something perfect and special.
 
It all starts with sexual attraction anyway. Thats the core reason people go on dates and have romantic interest at all, lol.

Personally, if a girl wanted to wait, then I would be patient. But not forever. Been there and done that!
 
The interesting thing is that when you become a teenager it almost becomes a game or a competition of who can "get laid" first. You add a few more years onto your age and you realize that it should not be a competition and that you have nothing to prove to anyone by how many people you have been with.

Really, what does it prove that slept with lets say 5 girls and I've been with 1? Does that mean that you don't take relationships seriously or does that mean I'm gay? The fact is, it means neither. Theres just a certain amount of people in this world that think that you're a failure if you don't sleep with x-amount of people.

And there is a big gap of guys being "pimps" and girls being "hoes". Why is it this way? Honestly, I've been trying to figure it out for a long time but its just one of those things that has no real reasoning behind it.

Of course looks are important, and if anyone says they aren't they are lying. I mean if you are with someone you might as well enjoy looking at them right? But I think people need to learn to control their sexual feelings/attractions. It is a challenge but once you do it once, its much easier to do it again. Its like drugs. You don't need sex, you dont have to have it. You just want it, you think you need it. But you really don't.
 
Scorpio said:
But I think people need to learn to control their sexual feelings/attractions. It is a challenge but once you do it once, its much easier to do it again. Its like drugs. You don't need sex, you dont have to have it. You just want it, you think you need it. But you really don't.
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you're making sex out to be a much more complicated matter than it is. societies have been doing this for as long as mass control measures (such as religion) existed. in fact, this sort of thinking defeats the ultimate purpose of these measures. and more importantly, it takes a lot away from the natural fun side of sex (though sometimes people thrive on it being taboo, but this quickly becomes corny once you realise there's nothing wrong with it, and with whatever position you're into lol).

there are a lot of great points lying in several of the above posts which explain why i disagree with your negative sex-drugs analogy:



People are only trying to live up to what they think is their cultures expectations of them, which is demonstrated to them through the media and through what their peers and older generations discuss.
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Virginity is so overrated.

Let's be rrrrrrrreally honest I didn't feel I made a 'gift' to the guy with losing mine lol geeeez not at all. It was not rrrrrrrreally special... just maybe a special mess. And I felt emberassed cuz although I knew what would happen I didn't count with it like that. Looking back now... it's not I'd wish to have with someone with whom I want something perfect and special.
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If someone doesn't have sex on a first date they don't.
If someone does have sex on a first date they do.
Ppl are free, isn't that nice!

As much as I'd never judge a person on a sexual basis only... I'd never judge a person only because they refrain from having sex and for sure not in some 'good vs. bad' category... in the end how superficial is that... probably as superficial as sex on a first date?!

See I prefer to handle my life the way I think it's good for myself and responsible towards myself AND others.
So may everybody do or not do on their first date whatever they like... the need for ppl to categorize ppl (and especially on the basis of really what!!!) is kind of as amusing as annoying to me lol really really.
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It all starts with sexual attraction anyway. Thats the core reason people go on dates and have romantic interest at all, lol.
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Mechi said:
Maybe more reckless behavior but are ppl also happy(ier) with their sex life? or do they only 'not' talk about it better?
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Well, there's nothing that says the more people you sleep with, the happier you are sexually. Quite frankly, you tend to see these kinds of people with a numerous amount of partners have an amiss perception of themselves.
 
Actually I'm making it pretty simple.

My statement wasn't negative at all. The point simply was that people think they need to have it but they really don't much like people that take drugs. Theres nothing negative at all about that statement. Was it a bit extreme, perhaps. But it was the best way I could explain the needs and wants of people.

It seems that you completely misinterpreted what I was saying and just saw it as me being "anti-sex" or something. Which isn't the case. I'm simply stating how over rated sex is and how so many take it as being 'so' important.

Its been this way for all time of course, but that doesn't mean that it should be accepted. I think its a shame that it is accepted behavior by the vast majority of people in this world. Those quotes are basically another way of saying what I said.

I think we agree more than ya think. Its just we have different ways of saying it.
 
browneyedgirl said:
Well, there's nothing that says the more people you sleep with, the happier you are sexually. Quite frankly, you tend to see these kinds of people with a numerous amount of partners have an amiss perception of themselves.
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lol in those years I've studied statistics I've learned a lot about lots of 'kind of ppl'.
Honestly I'm quiet sure that 'these kind of ppl' do have an amiss perception of themselves as often as 'all other kinds of ppl'.
Prejudice is ignorance. You're pronouncing what some ppl want some ppl do believe. If you seriously would start to question it you'd see there's nothing behind it.
Basically I'm just saying there's nothing wrong with sex.
If ppl can't be honest that's a complete different problem. If ppl can't be faithfull although they have promised that's a complete different problem. If ppl do something only cuz they think it's expected from them and not cuz they want it, then it's a complete different problem (and it doesn't matter if they do have sex cuz they think their partner expects it or if they do refrain from having sex cuz they think society thinks that's the only apropriate to do).
There's no sense in categorizing ppl cuz of having sex into other categories than maybe 'having sex' and 'not having sex'.
There's no sense in judging ppl only on this basis, well to me.

It's the same as with everything... there's something 'going on' (and I'm intentionally not saying 'wrong' here) with ppl if they don't trust themselves in just being themselves and maybe handle sex without responsibility towards others and themselves.
It's maybe the biggest challenge to let children learn about themselves, to give them the self conciousness and the self esteem to trust themselves. I personally think what children need is education and then the freedom to decide. Children need it to become responsible adults.

Maybe everybody can notice out of my arguments that my advice is not to just go for it no matter what and also is to not have sex if they do not completely feel it's the 'right thing' for them. If they don't feel completely sure about it, it's clearly too early for them.
 
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Scorpio said:
Actually I'm making it pretty simple.

My statement wasn't negative at all. The point simply was that people think they need to have it but they really don't much like people that take drugs. Theres nothing negative at all about that statement. Was it a bit extreme, perhaps. But it was the best way I could explain the needs and wants of people.
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Well while I get your point somehow I think ppl having sex is no way to compare with ppl doing drugs.

While one is dangerous cuz there's some sense in making some drugs illegal, sex is proved to be really healthy especially for ppl not doing (other ;) lol ) sports. There's some physical training hiding in sex which is really good for you.

The only similarity I can find is that both can 'blow your mind' in a way and this way makes it possible to escape from yourself like into another dimension.
That's possibly why both can lead into an addiction.
Then again the trail leading into addiction on anything lies more in someones very own personality traits.
All in all with having (protected of cuz) sex you're not at all risking your health at least if you're not coming to it at the edge of a roof or something . Compared to that usually while doing drugs one is pretty much putting their health at risk.

I'm really wondering why there's with many statements in this world not only this board coming the sound that 'sex is something bad' or 'sex is connected with some evil intention' or 'sex is dangerous' rotfl... ppl come on... it's wonderful, so incredible nice... best of cuz if pure love is the motive! :cheeky:
 
Marni said:
^Great post.

I think too much importance is placed on sex- why on earth is it that important? I know why it should be important, but I find that some people place too much importance on it, not knowing why it's important in the first place.


(if that makes sense lol)

It's taken far too lightly these days, that's for sure :yes:
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:mello: you got me puzzled... taken far too lightly now or too much importance?

Is it more that you think the handling and also the education about it is taken far too lightly... then we do agree when I look at how many ppl get infected with diseases or unwillingly pregnant cuz of having unprotected sex.
Sex is indeed important... well if you're in love and if the persons mean something to eachother... then again it's might not the most important in a relationship... that's up to the ppl involved.
Also there is ppl who just do have sex because they want to enjoy it and there's no further commitment connected to it... if they're both adults and both agree in this I don't see anything wrong with ppl who just want to have sex. And again to me it doesn't make these ppl automatically 'good' or 'bad'... guess I just let them be different from me :smilerolleyes:.

Sex is important because so much is going wrong in sexual encounters and relationships about it BECAUSE ppl give it the sound of a mysterium, something dirty, something evil. (there's an hiv thread somewhere on this board which is only one reason why I think there should be much more talk about sex).
Sure sex is something private between the ppl involved... I'd for sure never talk about what I'm doing with my boyfriend and what I might do not. That's my private little wonderful beautifull secret with him.
But young ppl need to have a chance to learn and they need the chance to ask all the questions they want without any further judgement on them put by (sorry but intolerant) adults.
Only then young ppl will be protected from just fullfilling other expectations and wondering why they can't feel really happy, about themselves and/or about their sex lives or even sexual relationships. On the other hand it will even not let them worry about themselves toooooo incredible much if it's just not as good as expected because their expectations will possibly be formed more real and not only influenced by some media not showing reality at all.
If this kind of media is and stays the only available source of information (found easily these times online) cuz not making a secret out of sex as the main part of adulthood... we really shouldn't wonder about some development in our teenager generations... really lol.
 
Mechi said:
:mello: you got me puzzled... taken far too lightly now or too much importance?

Is it more that you think the handling and also the education about it is taken far too lightly... then we do agree when I look at how many ppl get infected with diseases or unwillingly pregnant cuz of having unprotected sex.
Sex is indeed important... well if you're in love and if the persons mean something to eachother... then again it's might not the most important in a relationship... that's up to the ppl involved.
Also there is ppl who just do have sex because they want to enjoy it and there's no further commitment connected to it... if they're both adults and both agree in this I don't see anything wrong with ppl who just want to have sex. And again to me it doesn't make these ppl automatically 'good' or 'bad'... guess I just let them be different from me :smilerolleyes:.

Sex is important because so much is going wrong in sexual encounters and relationships about it BECAUSE ppl give it the sound of a mysterium, something dirty, something evil. (there's an hiv thread somewhere on this board which is only one reason why I think there should be much more talk about sex).
Sure sex is something private between the ppl involved... I'd for sure never talk about what I'm doing with my boyfriend and what I might do not. That's my private little wonderful beautifull secret with him.
But young ppl need to have a chance to learn and they need the chance to ask all the questions they want without any further judgement on them put by (sorry but intolerant) adults.
Only then young ppl will be protected from just fullfilling other expectations and wondering why they can't feel really happy, about themselves and/or about their sex lives or even sexual relationships. On the other hand it will even not let them worry about themselves toooooo incredible much if it's just not as good as expected because their expectations will possibly be formed more real and not only influenced by some media not showing reality at all.
If this kind of media is and stays the only available source of information (found easily these times online) cuz not making a secret out of sex as the main part of adulthood... we really shouldn't wonder about some development in our teenager generations... really lol.
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I mean just that- too much importance is placed on sex in relationships- often without knowing or thinking why it's important in the first place- therefore, it's taken far too lightly. People often just say "it's an important part of the relationship"- without a reason behind that.

I often feel like asking- Why is it important to you in a relationship? Because it's fun / you can't do without it or because it's an expression of love toward another person?

I am talking strictly relationships- not one night stands or anything. :)
 
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