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Guys on this board..I hope you don't mind my asking...

Do you dump a girl because she doesn't want to get physical with you?

  • Yes

    Votes: 10 30.3%

  • No

    Votes: 16 48.5%

  • Maybe

    Votes: 7 21.2%
  • Total voters
    33

LindaC781

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I just want to know. And be absolutely honest with me. When you date a girl, do you expect her to be as physical with you as possible? And if she doesn't want to, do you just dump her like a hot potato?
I just want to know...I am putting this out there to get a feel for what is going on right now in the dating scene...my own research project.

Also, what attracts you to girls?? Is it looks first, then personality? Or personality and looks equally? Does she have to have good breath (someone on the KOP board listed this first when I posted this there! LOL!) Does she need to be popular? Is it important that your friends like her?

I am just curious, so humor me, will ya?

The reason why I posted this? Basically, I believe this site has mainly 20-30 year olds on it. Out of that population, I want to hear from the men here. I am planning on putting this into some sort of paper at one point. For a class I am attending.

Just curious...
 
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"dump her like a hot potato"
f_laugh.gif


if both of us are in it for a relationship then we do what feels comfortable to both parties, whether putting out on the first date or waiting for a couple of months (hasn't been any longer so far). but it just clicks. and i never treat anything as a textbook exercise... just do what feels right there and then. and i'm not saying i haven't had awkward moments but pressure must backfire, right?

i'm going to vote maybe to mean "depends", because some evil ladies use this as a relationship war tool lol *click click*
 
I'll answer that for you... YES THEY DO. There's no maybe, they do they do they do! They'll dump you like a damn rotten tomato. But you know what, they can phuck off b/c they have to work for it.

Disclaimer: I know, I know. They're not all "like that" :bugeyed
 
drop the attitude, girl. these questions are asked and answered by women like they don't want it much as we do. game's getting old!
 
Oh, please. Don't even get me started... you and I both know women aren't like men. Men have intrapersonal communication issues when it comes it. Honestly, what are guys thinking about the first date? Exactly.
 
browneyedgirl said:
Honestly, what are guys thinking about the first date? Exactly.
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lol what's with all the generalisations? physical attraction is inherent and important to most of us humans. to have agreed on a date (cheesy blind dates excluded) means that you very likely are physically attracted to your date.

it may become a bigger matter of society-controlled principles for the female, but more often than not you're still sexually attracted to your date.

seriously, let's drop the principled princess fairy tales. :)
 
arXter said:
lol what's with all the generalisations? physical attraction is inherent and important to most of us humans. to have agreed on a date (cheesy blind dates excluded) means that you very likely are physically attracted to your date.

it may become a bigger matter of society-controlled principles for the female, but more often than not you're still sexually attracted to your date.

seriously, let's drop the principled princess fairy tales. :)
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Well of course, but first dates are meaningless. All you do is check the person out and get to know them better, but if it's taken to the next level that same night, what are the motives? Women more likely than not would be looking for a long-term relationship. I don't know, I could be wrong, some men could be too. :agree:
 
^ lol you two sound like you've both just come off a bad first date together :rofl:

arXter said:
"dump her like a hot potato"
f_laugh.gif


if both of us are in it for a relationship then we do what feels comfortable to both parties, whether putting out on the first date or waiting for a couple of months (hasn't been any longer so far). but it just clicks. and i never treat anything as a textbook exercise... just do what feels right there and then. and i'm not saying i haven't had awkward moments but pressure must backfire, right?

i'm going to vote maybe to mean "depends", because some evil ladies use this as a relationship war tool lol *click click*
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That's me, whatever feels right at the moment and yeah you will have moments where you pick up the wrong cues from each other and have those little embaressing early days moments.


wait are guys the only ones who can answer this?

I've known guys who are only interested in having a nice date the first couple of times and just having fun, doing the getting to know ya stuff (sure they're probably mentally undressing you or wondering what it's going to be like :lol: and the truth is a lot of women are on that level too and I know I'm not talking for myself :lol: ). There's a difference between thinking it and doing it, and if both want to do it... then hey why not? you're certainly not putting anyone out by both wanting to put out.
 
LOL and when you get into that league of ppl over 30, nobody knows anymore if and when it's ok to kiss and if and when it's ok even to go beyond that... that's what I call funny.

Well I'm a woman so I'm not asked here but it was always best to do it the arxter way... just do what you feel like doing. Be yourself. If you don't then it's not you and you're might not loved/liked for the person you are. *shrugs*
 
If 30 seconds after meeting her she's not putting out, well, then there's really no more words that need to be spoken between us.

Seriously though, no, it's not like that at all. Now, if it's been months and months.. then I can see the issue. Everyone is different and everyone probably has their own "timeframe": for some, it may be three months, six months, one year.. it probably varies. In actuality, you're probably better being dumped and letting the guy/girl move on than being in a relationship where the other person is going and getting their helping somewhere else.

Definitely a "maybe" for me.
 
browneyedgirl said:
I'll answer that for you... YES THEY DO. There's no maybe, they do they do they do! They'll dump you like a damn rotten tomato. But you know what, they can phuck off b/c they have to work for it.

Disclaimer: I know, I know. They're not all "like that" :bugeyed
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well said :kickass: from what i've experienced guys look for short mainly sexual relationships and if ur new in the game ur phucked lol. they will come to u saying they want to get to know u and this and that but all the want is sex. period. if u know that and ur fine with it u can just play along. but if u dont then get ready for a big disappointment.
95% of men are pigs in my book. i couldnt have any lower opinion on them.
 
This is good!! Thanks for the replies so far. And yes, I want to hear from the WOMEN too then. This needs to be discussed. It seems that nowadays, if you are in your early 20's, yes, you are expected to "put out" on the first date. And to me, that's pretty shallow. I think you need to get to know the person first. Whatever happened to those days where a man respected a woman? I am not seeing that now.
 
Roxanne said:
well said :kickass: from what i've experienced guys look for short mainly sexual relationships and if ur new in the game ur phucked lol. they will come to u saying they want to get to know u and this and that but all the want is sex. period. if u know that and ur fine with it u can just play along. but if u dont then get ready for a big disappointment.
95% of men are pigs in my book. i couldnt have any lower opinion on them.
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I have to agree with you on this too!!!Thats exactly what i would say as well.
 
I think that some young women nowadays still have a hope that they will have a romantic relationship with a partner FIRST before it gets physical. Is this unrealistic?
 
Roxanne said:
well said :kickass: from what i've experienced guys look for short mainly sexual relationships and if ur new in the game ur phucked lol. they will come to u saying they want to get to know u and this and that but all the want is sex. period. if u know that and ur fine with it u can just play along. but if u dont then get ready for a big disappointment.
95% of men are pigs in my book. i couldnt have any lower opinion on them.
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:bugeyed:bugeyed:bugeyed:bugeyed:bugeyed:bugeyed:bugeyed
 
Not all guys are like that, there are some respectable ones out there that don't expect anything on the first date... and i'm sorry to say this but in this day and age I think girls are just as bad :bugeyed

I dunno maybe I am just getting old/older :lol: and seeing things that make me think that way :mello:
 
mjsladyinhislife said:
Not all guys are like that, there are some respectable ones out there that don't expect anything on the first date... and i'm sorry to say this but in this day and age I think girls are just as bad :bugeyed
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:imbad I'm bad I'm bad you know it :punk: ... but no I don't expect to put out on the first date lol

actually I'm inclined to side with Mechi's post in regards to when we get older it's get's more confusing I think because we start chasing after our own personal needs more too :yes:
 
Roxanne said:
well said :kickass: from what i've experienced guys look for short mainly sexual relationships and if ur new in the game ur phucked lol. they will come to u saying they want to get to know u and this and that but all the want is sex. period. if u know that and ur fine with it u can just play along. but if u dont then get ready for a big disappointment.
95% of men are pigs in my book. i couldnt have any lower opinion on them.
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I am deeply insulted and offended by these sexist comments, just because I absoloutly reefuse to marry u and play happy families does NOT make 95% of men pigs
 
Well the anwsers in this thread are pretty depressing to me...lol

LindaC781 said:
I think that some young women nowadays still have a hope that they will have a romantic relationship with a partner FIRST before it gets physical. Is this unrealistic?
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I'm not in your age group that you wanted to anwser (i'm 19) but I feel the way you described in that post. I want to know a guy first and feel that he really appreciates me for who I am. I'm not just gonna put out just like that, I haven't even kissed a guy that I didn't get to know first. But who knows maybe I'm too old-fashioned...
And maybe I have no right to anwser since I haven't even done anything psychical with a guy yet :blush:
 
:lol: Linda, Chaos and roxanne are like an old married couple :yes:



xrisx don't despair :flowers: there's nothing wrong with your choice if it makes you happy that's all that matters :)
 
I think it's wrong to follow some artificial expectations (ppl thinking this or that)... young ppl have a mind and they do have emotions and it needs to be learned to bring this together a way it will make them (and not others or any ppl else) happy... so I'd prefer seeing them following their inner voice.
NEVER EVER do something only cuz you think it's expected if it doesn't feel perfectly right to yourself (that was always my advice to the young ppl asking... and I got told something similar from my parents).

Yes me never had sex on a first date... and I've never felt I've missed something... but geeeez who knows... but I remember especially when I was pretty young I dumped some guys cuz there never happened anything and I got the feeling they are just not interested while I was lol.
And surely if I had children I'd give them the advice better not to have sex with someone they don't really know not to get hurt.
But then again several times you tell them better not to touch the bbq cuz it's pretty hot and might hurt and you see some of them still have to touch it to find out.
More important to me is that young ppl learn to protect themselves from mistakes having consequences forever... like having unprotected sex.
 
Wow, there are some girls here who don't have a lot of nice things to say about the opposite sex for sure. Geez LOL. Give the guys some credit.

I have meet my share of guys who are in it just for the physical part, but I have also been with guys I just wanted to "get physical" with too. I guess we all have different needs at different parts in our life. But in the long run what we all want is love, comfort and safety.

We're all looking for love. We all want one person to spend our life with. I have found one now, and I don't get scared of the thought of being with just him for the rest of my life. I know that can be scary for some people and maybe that's why they are jumping from one person to the next. Girls are basically more romantic than the guys and we sometimes want our dreamguy to behave like they do in the movies. People are different. But when you meet that someone who fulfill all your god damn needs lol, then stick with that person and never let go.
 
L.J said:
^ lol you two sound like you've both just come off a bad first date together :rofl:
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LOL. It's a sore spot, lol.

I agree that some women feed into it. I don't really care if that's what a woman wants to do the first date. It's their decision. I'm certainly not against sex before marriage, but what about those girls who are?

I've been on dates with plenty of guys who showed no signs of wanting to get physical on the first date, but after a month or two, you begin to feel the pressure with all the "why nots".

I don't know, I could be different, I've never been on a date planning to have sex on the first night, or the first month for that matter. Different strokes for different folks, I guess. ;)
 
i don't understand why we've contrived these principles for the female by firstly treating their virginity as so much more sacred. from that, it goes to affect every other new sexual encounter in her life. i think that was the way society had to deal with potential dangers before contraceptives arrived on the scene. but we still have this mentality, and the way our community thinks is obviously very influential.

the intimacy of sex is important to both (or more lol) parties and can be central to a 'serious' relationship. Linda, i don't know how you went about your observations, but the ladies want to get physical too. the only criticism i have (from my experience) is that we both tend to discover sex before discovering relationships. going about it the hard way 'round.
 
considering the amount of "buyers remorse" from both men and women for their behavior in this area either immediately following or sometimes for years later, would be better imo if everyone just cooled their heels and enjoyed doing other things together til they feel secure that this girl or guy is the one to be that way with.
 
arXter said:
i don't understand why we've contrived these principles for the female by firstly treating their virginity as so much more sacred. from that, it goes to affect every other new sexual encounter in her life. i think that was the way society had to deal with potential dangers before contraceptives arrived on the scene. but we still have this mentality, and the way our community thinks is obviously very influential.

the intimacy of sex is important to both (or more lol) parties and can be central to a 'serious' relationship. Linda, i don't know how you went about your observations, but the ladies want to get physical too. the only criticism i have (from my experience) is that we both tend to discover sex before discovering relationships. going about it the hard way 'round.
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I liked what you said.

Girls have to remember that not so long time ago we couldn't choose who we wanted to be with or marry. We couldn't have sex if we wanted to unless we were married, and if we did, we were either hanged, burned or pushed out of the family circle. In the olden days, girls were not treated equally as men, we were more like a trophy who's only purpose was to take care of the home and give babies.

Now girls have a freedom of choice of want we want to do, and with whom we want to do it with. This goes to show what browneyedgirl said, that we're all different and should respect our own needs.
 
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