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do your family think you are going over the top with your grief for michael?

Re: do your family think you are going over the top with your gief for michael?

My parents support me but they don't understand how much he actually ment to me. My dad suddenly comes with comments like "Do your friends talk a lot about Michael?" when I'm coming home from a day with my friends that I've spent doing all that I can to suppress the pain to the limit that it's not visible, and OFCOURSE he breaks me again.

They don't understand that I need my time and that I can't talk about him right now. No, I don't want to watch videos or read the newspapers with them. I just need my time!!
And therefore I'm almost embarassed, because when I am crying and screaming out of pain it feels like they think that I'm crazy or something.
 
Re: do your family think you are going over the top with your gief for michael?

no,they knew what he meant to me,they took all of my phine calls and still are. they are being very supportive. they suggested that i talk 2 some1 )professionally) bout my grief the other day,so idk if they are sending me to counseling or what
 
Re: do your family think you are going over the top with your gief for michael?

Well, of course I have friends online that I have been talking about it and etc, that brings some closure as well. But as for my friends here (in person, real life, not that online isn't real life, but I hope you know what I mean), that I go with school with all the time... only one reached out to me, asking if I was okay, letting me vent out, comforting me. Even on the day it happened, she said she wanted me to help go to his funeral, if there was going to be one... I was like wow. o.o As for the other few? Nothing. That kinna disappointed me... also knowing how they KNOW I love Michael Jackson, and been that way ever since I was little. Yesterday one of the other though texted me asking if I was busy on the 2nd of July... Gah, assuming she was doing something big with the others, partying or whatever. o_O But ah well... I guess I'm being to harsh but idk... a text, call, or anything would of made me feel a bit better, show how much they care. Idk... but I am for one very appreciate at least one of them even reached out to me, that was a really nice gesture. :cry: My mom and sis who were also fans, were all the same just mourning, my dad... at first when it happened he tried to avoid it, cause it was too much seeing all of us three in pain. But lately he's been very patient and caring... he knows we're all devastated. I remember yesterday morning when he had to go to work in the morning he stopped by my room to say bye, and I woke up half asleep, my eyes a little open, it was all a blur, but I remember he kissed my forehead and went. I remember last night when I was sitting on my bed too, it was early hours of the morning, and before he went to sleep he checked on everyone and including me and asked if I was alright and I should get some rest in a sweet tone. :( Dad, most times he can be a bit strict but now, he's so caring; he likes Michael a little, but not the the extent we do, BUT HE KNOWS how much he means to us.
 
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Re: do your family think you are going over the top with your gief for michael?

man.in.the.mirror said:
i,m 34yrs old and michael has been in my life since i was 12 or 13,i know this is gunna sound really terrible,i am married and i love my husband dearly i was a jackson fan when i met him,but in my head and my dreams i feel that i was married to michael also,
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Doesn't sound terrible to me - I'm in exactly the same situation... 39 years old, happily married with 2 children but Michael's been part of my life since I first saw the Billie Jean video. I still have the posters that I syuck on my bedroom walls through my teens, books, magazines, the Thriller Viewmaster, scarfs, badges.... I could never get rid of them and now I'm so glad I didn't. Had this awful thing happened when I was a teenager, there is no doubt in my mind that I would be on the verge of commiting suicide as I was so devoted to him, I believed I couldn't live without him. Thankfully, my family make me realise otherwise.

My parents have been surprisingly supportive. I thought they'd tell me not to be so silly etc but they haven't. My husband has also been supportive but I think it's wearing thin with him now & that I should get over it (although he hasn't said anything like that). Most of my friends have sent their good wishes but haven't talked about it much which I'm grateful for because I find it so hard to discuss. The only place I feel like I can comfortably talk about things without people thinking I'm nuts is here with like minded people.

Each day is getting easier but even today, I broke down 3 times when listening to his songs on the radio.... and it's not so easy to drive when there are tears streaming down your face! I do find that keeping busy takes your mind of it all but as soon as I think about it again, I tear up again.

(((hugs))) to you all. xxxx
 
Re: do your family think you are going over the top with your gief for michael?

My mother was actually surprised at how well I handled it...she called me to tell me the news and I was like "I knowwwwww" in a really sad moaning voice, but I asked her if she was crying and she said yes...she knows how much I love Michael so she called to see if I was OK. But I wasn't crying and she was shocked. I was just kind of numb really and in shock when I heard the news for the first day I heard it.

Then the next day I was just crying because I felt so bad about how Michael was treated while he was alive. Not that he was dead necessarily but how evil people were toward him made me start weeping for him. :( But I'm not really crying about the fact that he is dead because I don't feel that he is "dead". He is very much alive through his music and his spirit. I don't feel as if I've lost him at all!
 
Re: do your family think you are going over the top with your gief for michael?

hhw said:
my mom thinks i'm weak and stupid and making a big deal out of nothing. There's no one i can talk to and i feel like screaming.
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you can always talk to me i here for anyone
 
Re: do your family think you are going over the top with your gief for michael?

My family dosen't care at all how i am felling because of Michael.

My mom is in schock,but prefers to deny it and she is all the time wanting updates.
It dosen't matter if it hurts me or not,because if it does,than i am crazy because Michael was not related to me,or party of the family as they say.
They just don't understand and i am without strenghs to explain...
I am trying not to show how i feel beause if i did,i would hear way much worst.
I want to cry,i feel i need to cry a lot to help healing...but i can't do it because it is stupid,or because i am needed...This is how my family sees it.
Because i can't release myself,my body is acting up since last thursday.
Since that dark day,i have almost no sleep,and anything i eat,comes out.
I'm in such a agony...
Michael was my hope when all hope had gone.
Now what?
Cabn someone tell me how will i make it,without him?:cry:
 
Re: do your family think you are going over the top with your gief for michael?

Mariajoaosilva said:
My family dosen't care at all how i am felling because of Michael.

My mom is in schock,but prefers to deny it and she is all the time wanting updates.
It dosen't matter if it hurts me or not,because if it does,than i am crazy because Michael was not related to me,or party of the family as they say.
They just don't understand and i am without strenghs to explain...
I am trying not to show how i feel beause if i did,i would hear way much worst.
I want to cry,i feel i need to cry a lot to help healing...but i can't do it because it is stupid,or because i am needed...This is how my family sees it.
Because i can't release myself,my body is acting up since last thursday.
Since that dark day,i have almost no sleep,and anything i eat,comes out.
I'm in such a agony...
Michael was my hope when all hope had gone.
Now what?
Cabn someone tell me how will i make it,without him?:cry:
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:better: you should try and let it out. if you want to cry, just let it out.
 
Re: do your family think you are going over the top with your gief for michael?

My parents called me when they heard, they were shocked too, even though they're not fans they know I love him... I actually broke down and started crying when I was talking to them and I think it made them worry about me, they call me everyday asking how I am ....
My friends sent e-mails asking if I'm OK too but only some of them... Even thou almost everyone that knew me knew how i felt.
Whatever, I don't need them to call me when I know they were making fun of him not long ago.

It's just hard when I have to go places and talk to ppl and smile and talk about stupid things when I'm sad but can't talk to anyone.. They don't understand how someone you never met can mean so much....
 
Re: do your family think you are going over the top with your gief for michael?

starone_angel said:
this is what i am doing since then! I don't think my parents doesn't love me! They are not loving mj! They are not understanding how can i love someone i never meet!
They are saying that if i would die, mj wouldn't cry for me because he doesn't care! And like that they are hurting me more that i am now! Because i am sure he would care!
Here i found people who understands my pain! Thank you guys!
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mj would care if you die omg
(hugs)
i am so sorry they feel like this
 
Re: do your family think you are going over the top with your gief for michael?

thankyou everyone for all your support here,so comforting to know that we are here for one another,that just shows what an influence michael has had on our lives,because we are not fake we really care for other people like michael did,
 
my family don't really know just how much I love michael. I've had family members passed but since i didn't really know them it did'nt bother me. Im the type who doesn't like to cry but now it no problem. My family members didn't say anything to me about michael. I have stayed on my computer in my room ALL day. Only my mom and sis saw me crying but i try to hide most of my crying. Finally my mom told me I shouldn't keep mourning much longer or something like that. I was like what? but didn't say anything. when my family would say stupid things about mike I just ignore them. They don't understand. That's what I loved about mjjf and now mjjc.

ppl don't realized that you can live with someone or work with someone or see them everyday and NOT love them or KNOW them. Or you can come to know someone thru their works, personality (by video), by their actions, song, words, and message. THAT is how I came to love michael. I got to know this man thru his message. No I never met him but I know him. I know and love his character and who he is. Not to mention his good looks. but I can't say the same about some of the ppl that I see in real life. This is why you can marry a person and sometimes not know them or love them. Because you never learned WHO they really were. I never met michael but I know WHO he is and that's what I love. So losing this is gonna hurt. Also it hurts that I'll never have the pleasure of meeting him. That Kills!
 
My Mum has been absolutely wonderful. I couldn't have asked for a better Mum... My bestfriend in the world called me on Friday (along with 62 other people, and no I'm not kidding) after sneaking out of work to pretend she needed the toilet. And she lives 2 and a half hours away. She (is not a fan but appreciates him) asked if I was with my Mum, but I wasn't my Mum was on vacation around 15 hrs drive away... so she said she was jumping on a train straight from work to come to my house to stay with me until my Mum got home.

My Mum arrived home on saturday and up until then I hadn't really cried, my bestfriend did a wonderful job of cheering me up and keeping me distracted from watching the news and all. On Saturday my Mum, bestfriend and I watched a TV special and I admitted I didn't feel anything because I didn't really believe it to be real, cos I could watch him and trick myself in to thinking he wasn't dead. My mum was crying on and off thru the whole show, and I was smiling and happy like normal when I watch him...

At the end of the show they showed a beautiful montage and I began to cry like a baby. I was embarrassed cos I felt like they might judge me, but before I knew it I was sobbing and my Mum hugged me and I stayed there for hours crying and crying non stop like a little kid. :( And the whole time my Mum was crying with me.... My Mum stroked my hair and told me that it is probably going to feel a whole lot worse before it starts to feel any better. Not one of my friends (and most of the people I have been in contact with are not fans) have tried to make me feel bad at all. In fact, most of them have been super supportive... I am very, very lucky.
 
im only a teenager, but his death is hitting me hard. im mourning like i've just lost a family member. which i sorta feel. after all, he was my idol, inspiration & hero. my family laughs when i say i cry over him. and so do my friends. should i take it personally? or am i being over the top?
 
you know i was in the shop this morning and all over the papers michaels last photo,i am so angry with the world,i said to the shop keeper who knows me,if i wasn,t a nice person i would take them tabloids there and burn them,the fuckin bastards,not only that they havce pictures,old ones thougth on the front cover of michael and his children without their masks on,they can,t even respect his wishes to keep his children covered,
i know that outburst was abit off topic,but i am just so angry,
 
My dad was the one calling me that michael was in the hospital.
And my sister is a huge fan also (janena on this forum).
So my whole family understands my grieve.
 
HumbleHeart said:
My Mum arrived home on saturday and up until then I hadn't really cried, my bestfriend did a wonderful job of cheering me up and keeping me distracted from watching the news and all. On Saturday my Mum, bestfriend and I watched a TV special and I admitted I didn't feel anything because I didn't really believe it to be real, cos I could watch him and trick myself in to thinking he wasn't dead. My mum was crying on and off thru the whole show, and I was smiling and happy like normal when I watch him...

At the end of the show they showed a beautiful montage and I began to cry like a baby. I was embarrassed cos I felt like they might judge me, but before I knew it I was sobbing and my Mum hugged me and I stayed there for hours crying and crying non stop like a little kid. :( And the whole time my Mum was crying with me.... My Mum stroked my hair and told me that it is probably going to feel a whole lot worse before it starts to feel any better. Not one of my friends (and most of the people I have been in contact with are not fans) have tried to make me feel bad at all. In fact, most of them have been super supportive... I am very, very lucky.
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i know which tv show ur talking about... the channel 9 one! and i was the same... i found myself tapping my toes to the songs and being strong and happy throughout the show (altho i had been crying previously and not been able to listen to a single song)... HOWEVER all that changed when they played the last montage with the song "Ben" in the background!!!!!!!!!!!! that really was too sad, i went to my room and cried after that montage. i'm so happy ur family is being supportive

for those who arent feeling supported... as u can see in this thread u are definitly not alone. ive had mixed reactions... my bf has been great... my parents are clueless and would think im strange so i try to hide it... and my friends have been both good and horrible. overall, this is the place that i know i can turn to.
 
my mum cried with me so she is being very supportive. even some of my friends.. some of my best ones I haven't heard anything from yet. makes me a bit upset about it!
my mum was also gonna attend the july 16th concert.
:( my cousin too..we're all in pain
 
My family and friends understand 'cause they've all known me forever and know that my love for MJ runs very deep and has ever since I was like 4 or 5, plus several of my family members are big MJ fans, but my boyfriend isn't supportive. He admitted to me yesterday that he was jealous of my love for Michael. He has been complaining that I spend all my time on Michael and being sad over his passing and not him. He even told me that he doesn't think i'd be this upset if he died. It's true that I'm not paying much attention to him though, I don't even want him really touching me or getting close, so that's pissed him off, but I can't even think of getting all close or loving right now. That's the last thing I want to do.

Yesterday, he tried to make an insulting comment about Michael and kids to set me off i'm sure and it worked 'cause I nearly lost it, so he stopped now thankfully and apologized. He know's better now than to make any bad comments about MJ. I am not feeling like myself ever since this happened and I just hope my boyfriend can try to understand that it's going to take some time for me to get back to my normal self.
 
I cried for the first time tonight, but hid my tears
 
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