Cant get over it

[a_silver_lining]

i remember june 25th like it was yesterday..i was surfing the web i had clicked on the TMZ site it said michael jackson dead age 50 i was like what???? so i turned on the tv cnn fox and other news programs were reporting it i was like OMG ..i didnt cry i was vvvv numb like in disbelief i just sat there watching the news all day all night...trying to get it to sink in it finally hit me when i saw them taking his body to the helicopter under that white sheet and flying him to the waiting coroners van,then landing putting him in that vanand driving off..... then the tears came and they really poured as i lie there at night i couldnt stop crying my heart had been shattered into a million pieces...and it will never heal i have lost my favorite singer my musical idol...someone who has been a vvvvvv important staple in my life michael is gone but his legacy will live on in the hearts an souls of all his fans forever~~!!!!!!

 

[MarriedtoMichaelinmyheart]

the question is:

Are we meant to and do we have to get over it?

No, ive told my parents that i never will. His loss truely is so so so massive for us to endure. there is no doubt there.


And now i feel i am comdemned to live with this broken heart and this pain inside just because my parents can't talorate my loss.
it is unfair...

 

[Tin Angel]

I just don't want this year to end! I don't want! This is so unfair! 2010... the first year without him, NO. I can't understand this, I can't. Why the world is still going on??? Michael, come back, come back, please...

 

[januska]

That's true, januska. But, do keep in mind that Michael will always be watching. He will always be by our sides no matter what happens. Michael will never leave us, he will forever remain in our hearts and absolutely nothing can change that.

Stay strong for Michael, Jan.

:hug:

You are absolutely right. That's a sweet, comforting thought. But it's also kind of bittersweet.. I mean that's all we have now, who wouldn't like to have Michael also truely, physically here? I know it will never be, but at the moment it just doesn't always seem to be enough having him in my heart - after all, he has been there for quite a few years already :yes:

 

[MJmakesmeDance]

I rarely post on here because it hurts too much. The threads are almost all about Michael in the "past" and it just makes it too real. I deal with it by watching youtube interviews and funny things about him.

Michael I miss you so much. I don't even care if you ever had another concert or album. Just want you here with us.

Hugs to all of you:better:

 

[Mahatma]

I rarely post on here because it hurts too much. The threads are almost all about Michael in the "past" and it just makes it too real. I deal with it by watching youtube interviews and funny things about him.

Michael I miss you so much. I don't even care if you ever had another concert or album. Just want you here with us.

Hugs to all of you:better:

Same here, I try to avoid the pictures section as much as I can. Especially the newer photos of him. It's surreal that he's no longer with us anymore.

 

[MJmakesmeDance]

Same here, I try to avoid the pictures section as much as I can. Especially the newer photos of him. It's surreal that he's no longer with us anymore.

omg I can't even believe you said "especially the newer photos of him." I feel the same way. I can only look at older pics and LOVE his older interviews because he's so hilarious and makes me smile watching him. :cheers:

 

[Mahatma]

omg I can't even believe you said "especially the newer photos of him." I feel the same way. I can only look at older pics and LOVE his older interviews because he's so hilarious and makes me smile watching him. :cheers:

I believe we all feel the same way.

He's funny in his newer interviews as well, but it just hurts me because it seems that he's still here with us. I can't really explain it but I think it's understandable.

 

[*Billie Jean*]

When you think you have no more tears left they just start falling.. I can't sleep at nights, I just look at the sky... and cry... I feel like I'll cry forever! I don't know how to deal with this. I can't find any sense or reason in anything. I know our feelings are still raw but somehow I don't believe I will ever fully recover.

 

[Miss_star]

i remember june 25th like it was yesterday..i was surfing the web i had clicked on the TMZ site it said michael jackson dead age 50 i was like what???? so i turned on the tv cnn fox and other news programs were reporting it i was like OMG ..i didnt cry i was vvvv numb like in disbelief i just sat there watching the news all day all night...trying to get it to sink in it finally hit me when i saw them taking his body to the helicopter under that white sheet and flying him to the waiting coroners van,then landing putting him in that vanand driving off..... then the tears came and they really poured as i lie there at night i couldnt stop crying my heart had been shattered into a million pieces...and it will never heal i have lost my favorite singer my musical idol...someone who has been a vvvvvv important staple in my life michael is gone but his legacy will live on in the hearts an souls of all his fans forever~~!!!!!!

that is exactly what I did that day was just..horrific...I shudder when I think back...for a while I got flashbacks of that days news :better:

Cant get over it...to me its too soon...i wont take it..cause MJ had plans and new projects!! MJ had alots of new projects!! There alots of things that needed to be done..dang it.

I feel so very sad today, and have done for the last few days. really can't pick myself up. What is there now?? I am never going to see him again - it will be 6 months on Xmas day and i don't know how i am going to cope. Feel so sad.........

Every time I think I am over it , I just can't... I hate the " - 2009 " .... What is that? His expiration date?

I am sick of missing him. I will never ever get over this. Ever.

:weeping: I know...same here..I understand

i don't know if it's just me that's going mad...people told me:"it's gonna be ok...the pain will eventually go away, you'll see. time heals everything." yet i find myself here ...5 months later not knowing when has all this time went by... i find it hard to stay connected to reality as all i see around is gloomy and superficial...and fake. yet on the inside ... it's love and pain. a pain that instead of going away like i was told...and like i told myself so many times, it seems to grow bigger with each day that goes by. a pain that makes me feel old and i really don't know how i'm going to pull myself out of it... my nature is happiness and laughter...it's written even in my name and i never thought it will ever be so hard to smile. Michael..where are you ? my eyes are looking desperately for you ...but all i catch is glimpses...in my son's eyes...in the very first ray of light that shines announcing a new day... in the face of the moon that seems to guard me as i listen to your voice at night... i find you in the poems i write while i cry... i miss you endlessly and i don't think there are words to express this accurate enough... i want to dive once more in that ocean of love you blessed this world with... i love you...

wow, that is such a beautiful post :huggy:

 

[BunnyHead]

I just made myself sad again because I watched "This Is It" like 45 minutes ago and the ending always makes me cry.

I can't get over it, I just can't do it.

 

[smile4mj]

Michael is gone in reality but in my fantasy, he is very much alive,healthy and happy and never old in my dream.I need to keep up with this fantasy if not I'm doomed.. I cannot listen to the song gone too soon,speechless..all those sad songs. It'll just ruin my fantasy.. I know this sounds crazy but this really makes me feel better

 

[MJfan10]

Michael is gone in reality but in my fantasy, he is very much alive,healthy and happy. I need to keep up with this fantasy if not I'm doomed.. I cannot listen to the song gone too soon,speechless..all those sad songs. It'll just ruin my fantasy.. I know this sounds crazy but this really makes me feel better

Don't worry, I do the same.

 

[raz2911]

Michaels death was the first person that I loved who has died and I was numb like others are saying and I had to go to bed before it was publicly announced as I had school early in the morning but I just lay there comforting myself thinking he's gonna be fine and then I heard my mum coming up the stairs she broke the news to my sister first because she would take it better than me but even though I couldn't hear I knew it. She came in the room and said come down stairs. So I went down and it was on CNN MJs dead I cried and cried until the sun came out and was so depressed I had to take a day off school.
I think that no I know that I will remember it forever as the saddest day of my life

 

[*Billie Jean*]

I'm feeling REALLY bad today. I am sitting here in tears.. I was supposed to be in London today at the O2 at the concert... :weeping: I still can't believe he's gone... My heart is broken. It's so hard. I want to die....just to see him again!

 

[januska]

I'm feeling REALLY bad today. I am sitting here in tears.. I was supposed to be in London today at the O2 at the concert... :weeping: I still can't believe he's gone... My heart is broken. It's so hard. I want to die....just to see him again!

Oh no, can't even quite imagine how you're feeling since I never got tickets to TII..I have no words..
Just..never forget he is still there for you, he's in your heart no matter what. Try to stay strong. :better:

 

[amyzabeth]

i don't know if it's just me that's going mad...people told me:"it's gonna be ok...the pain will eventually go away, you'll see. time heals everything." yet i find myself here ...5 months later not knowing when has all this time went by... i find it hard to stay connected to reality as all i see around is gloomy and superficial...and fake. yet on the inside ... it's love and pain. a pain that instead of going away like i was told...and like i told myself so many times, it seems to grow bigger with each day that goes by. a pain that makes me feel old and i really don't know how i'm going to pull myself out of it... my nature is happiness and laughter...it's written even in my name and i never thought it will ever be so hard to smile. Michael..where are you ? my eyes are looking desperately for you ...but all i catch is glimpses...in my son's eyes...in the very first ray of light that shines announcing a new day... in the face of the moon that seems to guard me as i listen to your voice at night... i find you in the poems i write while i cry... i miss you endlessly and i don't think there are words to express this accurate enough... i want to dive once more in that ocean of love you blessed this world with... i love you...

Wow, what an amazing post. I'm sitting here crying while reading it. I feel the same way. People who don't understand how I feel say it will get easier, but it hasn't. I feel worse on some days. Sometimes I feel like I have to put on a mask, or a fake smile to give people around me the impression that I'm doing okay so they won't think I'm crazy. Ahhh I just miss him so much. I think about how he isn't going to be around to see his children grow up and stuff and that just kills me. :boohoo:

 

[*Billie Jean*]

Oh no, can't even quite imagine how you're feeling since I never got tickets to TII..I have no words..
Just..never forget he is still there for you, he's in your heart no matter what. Try to stay strong. :better:

Thanks, Januska. I guess part of my problem is that I don't want to get over it. I don't want there to be a time when I feel ok that he's not here, cos it will never be ok. :weeping:

 

[januska]

I guess part of my problem is that I don't want to get over it. I don't want there to be a time when I feel ok that he's not here, cos it will never be ok. :weeping:

I agree, it will never be ok, especially when you consider the way things happened.. I don't see a way to get over it either, but - really slowly - I'm starting to see a way to kind of live with it, to kind of accept what is and that it can't be changed. It's a bit difficult to explain.
I still want him back, I do. But I'm trying really hard to convince myself, that Michael wouldn't want anyone of us to stop living because of what happened to him. I strongly believe he would want us to keep living and to keep giving everything we have to make this world a better and more beautiful place. And then, maybe one day we will see him again..:angel:

 

[*Billie Jean*]

I agree, it will never be ok, especially when you consider the way things happened.. I don't see a way to get over it either, but - really slowly - I'm starting to see a way to kind of live with it, to kind of accept what is and that it can't be changed. It's a bit difficult to explain.
I still want him back, I do. But I'm trying really hard to convince myself, that Michael wouldn't want anyone of us to stop living because of what happened to him. I strongly believe he would want us to keep living and to keep giving everything we have to make this world a better and more beautiful place. And then, maybe one day we will see him again..:angel:

I still haven't accepted it. I feel lost and confused. It's like I don't want to accept it,but so many people keep talking about it, so I have no choice but to. Even when I listen to songs that are suppose to make you feel good and dance like "Off the Wall" & "Rock With You" I start crying, and I get so depressed. One song that makes me the saddest though, is "Heaven Can Wait". I feel really sad everyday, sometimes I feel like crying every second. It hurts but I've been trying my best, that's all I can do. I don't understand how this could ever happen to beautiful Michael. :weeping:

 

[januska]

Even when I listen to songs that are suppose to make you feel good and dance like "Off the Wall" & "Rock With You" I start crying, and I get so depressed. One song that makes me the saddest though, is "Heaven Can Wait".

"Heaven Can Wait" is one of those songs that I can't listen to at all any more :no: One time I tried but..you could just as well rip my heart out of my chest and stomp on it.. No can do.
Somehow it's better for me to watch concerts and stuff instead of listening to his albums, because when I see him perform I can easily fool myself into believing that he's still here with us. (Ok, I didn't realize it sounded that crazy until seeing that written...) So for a while I can just sit down and enjoy his amazing talent. Too bad no video lasts forever :boohoo

 

[*Billie Jean*]

"Heaven Can Wait" is one of those songs that I can't listen to at all any more :no: One time I tried but..you could just as well rip my heart out of my chest and stomp on it.. No can do.
Somehow it's better for me to watch concerts and stuff instead of listening to his albums, because when I see him perform I can easily fool myself into believing that he's still here with us. (Ok, I didn't realize it sounded that crazy until seeing that written...) So for a while I can just sit down and enjoy his amazing talent. Too bad no video lasts forever :boohoo

I am sitting here as I write this watching the live History show from Munich and Michael is singing "I'll Be There" and I still find it hard to beleive that he is gone. It doesnt seem real, I am waiting to wake up and find it's been a nightmare.. I feel so numb... I can't sleep..eat.. do anything I can only cry and be miserable I just don't know how I can go on living without the love of my life. Michael was everything to me. I'm still in denial about the whole thing. It just feels like I'm stuck in a sick and twisted nightmare that I can't wake from. My whole world has just collapsed. :weeping: