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Atheist thread

I was a born and raised Lutheran. I was a believer until a string of bad things began in my life, that to this date, has not let up. Some of it, self inflicted....but for the most part it seems like more and more bullshit keeps getting dumped on me. Since 2009, it's been 1 shit show after another, with sprinkles of good here and there.

09- Found out my 1st wife was cheating with several people. Confronted her, she said she'd change (hint- she didn't)

10- Got fired in August from a job. I F'd up, and admit it.

11- Just 5 months after the birth of my 2nd daughter, she kicks me out of the house. We divorced in feb of 2012

12- Lost my Grandmother to Alzheimers, also my father was diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes, later on I would be diagnosed with type 2 diabetes

15- A month after marrying for the 2nd time, I lost my mother unexpectedly, a month later my best friend lost his father. Later that year, my ex wife filed a protection order against me over false claims I was physically and verbaly abusing my kids. In court when she couldn't prove any of her claims with evidence, her lawyer tried to say I was sexually abusing the kids. The judge immediately called BS, threw the case out and told her if she broke the divorce decree again, she'd be held acountable. (HINT- she did and she only got a slap on the wrist)

16-18: variety of health issues, but I did see the birth of my 1 and only son in May of 2018

19- Wife, kids and I moved about 30 miles south of where we were in March, found out she was cheating on me, and was moving out into an apartment back in our original city with her affair partner and my kids. My oldest daughter tried to end her life on 2 separate occasions, the 2nd time, ex wife 1 with held the kids from me again. Back in court, but she got shot down by the judge over forcing me to supervised visitations with no evidence against me to support why...despite the fact my daughters attempts were both on HER watch. In October I suffered an injury at work which ended up ending an 8 year steady job.

20- let's just skip 2020. I moved to a state next to mine (hour away) for a fresh start on jobs and life..

21- Covid hit work and at home. I lost my job, and eventually in June I was evicted. I moved in with my dad and have been with him ever since. Oldest daughter tried to run away but we found her 8 hours later. She was just fed up with the BS and wanted to run.

22= Divorced wife #2. We tried counseling and told her and doctor it will only work if she makes every attempt to fix us, co parent as best as we can, and ditch the boyfriend. She got pissed and left during the session. That's when I knew it was over. My last job ended in Nov when my son was being tested for covid and I had to call out. Got shit from management and the guy they had cover my shift. I came in the next day and he took my scheduled date for that day and threaten to hit me, and throw a brick in my car. I told management it was him or I. They refused to fire him. so I quit.

23- Been trying to find work but every job I applied for, it's been turned down. My engine in my car gave out in March, I purchased another car in June, and got ripped off as that vehicle had engine issues too. Since then I've had to rely on my dad for transportation and am still looking for work. And now I'm dealing with my diabetes getting worse, to the point I have an ulcer on the bottom of my foot that got infected and now the whole top of my foot is being treated.

After all that novel I just wrote about my life since 2009, tell me this. If God was so loving, supportive and giving, then why the fuck have I gone through so much these last 14 years? What the fuck did I do to deserve this ? When I first started having issues, up to the death of my mother, I always told people I believe there is something out there, but he/she and I are not on speaking terms.

Now I'm not so sure he even exist. Maybe he does, and this life of ours, is really what Hell is. All I know, I'm sick and tired of all this shit happening to me and my family, and I'm tired of being a punching bag. I'm agnostic now, but I'm really on the fence, ready to jump over to not believing anything at all. I'm that mad......FUCK GOD!
 
@Prince Of Pop We all deal with bad stuff every now and then, I’m no different but my situation is not comparable with yours, my problems are entirely my own doing, luckily I’m not hurting anyone but myself.
Either way I wish you a change of fortune, you’re due that and you have to believe it is possible, as our beloved Malachi used to sing “keep your head up”! 🫢
 
I was raised Christian but unsubscribed as a teenager, and into young adulthood I became Agnostic. I don’t buy into the Bible and I don’t know why Christians follow it. I read it over the course of two years and was horrified. I had an NDE after drowning when I was 23. I now know at least for me and countless others that have NDE’s there is a Source that we all return to when we die, and it is all encompassing and loving, I don’t know what it is but it’s there and there is an afterlife. What we believe, we manifest and experience as we are all a collective consciousness, we create the reality. Energy never dies, it just transforms. I look forward to going back.
 
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