Any anxiety/depression sufferers here?

[Michaela Jackson]

Good to hear you got help, Michaels Lover! It's such a horrible disease, both depression and schizofrenia. I have some experience about it through my job as a nurse, but I got first hand experience about depression last year. It felt soooo wrong to be the care reciever and not the care giver! But my suicidal thoughts scared me enough to get help. Now everything is okay, with medicine, music (especially MJ nowadays) and "theraphy" from my animals. But I can clearly see a tendency to depression throughout my whole life. And after admitting that to myself I understand a lot more and am greatful about the good times (like right now). Lots of hugs to you guys out there!

 

[Michaels Lover]

Glad to hear you're doing good as well!! And yeah, it's about enjoying life as much as possible, and appreciate every moment that you can. I'm also very grateful for everything. Though it might not always have been easy, I feel I am lucky to have a good life, and I don't really need to complain about anything

 

[MJsBollywoodGirl7]

I am glad you are doing well Michaels Lover. And I so wish I could be doing well also. But I feel my depression has only gotten more worst. I still don't know what happiness is anymore. Since Michael was my total happiness. I am almost constantly mean, miserable, and nasty anymore. Seeing happy people either in real life or on tv. Only makes me even more nasty and miserable. Because at one time I used to be like them. With it being Christmas again. I am once again back to being a Scrooge. Since I no longer have the Christmas spirit. That evil monster totally killed that for me. Back when we still had him the one and only thing that put me in the Christmas spirit mood. Was knowing the fact that I was going to have at least one MJ related item wrapped present under the tree. Or I will be ordering something MJ related off the internet. At one time I used to have an MJ 6th sense and radar. Like I always knew when something MJ related was going to be on tv. At a certain time. Without ever having to come to an MJ site. Or look at my tv listings. Now thanks to that evil monster I no longer have that now. Also thanks to him I have to be constantly torture by seeing people on my tv that had once knew him. I really hate that since they got to know him and I didn't. And that was my most biggest dream ever. Was meeting him one day. And I had always hold on to that hope that I would one day. Living here in America also really doesn't help. Because it is alone a huge constant reminder of where he is now. And then having to see and hearing about all the things that he had once like. Also doesn't help any either for me. So you can only imagine just how upsetting it is for me. To constantly keep hearing and seeing advertisements about this new Star Wars movie. It only makes me think how much Michael would have so L.O.V.E. to see that. And so would I if I was still a Star Wars fan. Back when we still had him I was a big Star Wars fan. And I had loved that movie long before I knew Michael had loved that movie. Since me and my older brother who is still a Star Wars fan. We were both born in a year when a Star Wars movie came out. 1977 and 1980. Now I have a major hatred towards all things Star Wars. Just like I still have hatred towards anyone who has that evil monster's either first or last names. Cause the very second I hear or see those names now I automatically can only think of 2 things now. One Michael and what happen to him. And 2 how my happy life was totally distroyed by him. Up until that very horrible day before I had heard the worst news ever. I still considered myself a 100% hardcore MJ fan. Now thanks to that evil monster. He killed about 99.5% of my MJ fandom. It was just 3 months ago. I had totally lost any desire of wanting to listen to him again. I haven't listen to him since. And I don't think I ever will again. And personally now I would rather go through the horrible pain again of having my wisdom teeth. And then have them being pulled out of me. As well as deal with the pain of that impacted tooth that I once had. Then on having to go back and listen to Michael Jackson again. And what's even more worst. I haven't watch a single one of my MJ related videos in over 3 years now. And that last time had only cause me to suffer a panic attack. Something I never thought I would have when it came to him. My phobia of bees yes. But not with the most greatest L.O.V.E. of my life. Who was also my total obsession as well as passion. I should never had allowed myself. To become so very obsessed with him back during the HIStory Era. 30+ years as a MJ fan. And I very, very sadly regret it now. Thankfully my constant obsession that I have for video and computer games. And watching Shahrukh Khan related movies, performances, and other stuff of his. Has since replace Michael for me. But it is still totally not the same for me. It just hurts so extremely bad that watching and listening to Michael. Has now probably become a thing of the past for me now. And that is just something I am going to have to force myself to get used to now. I am already have gotten used to the fact that I will never know what it is like to be happy ever again. I so wish I could be like you other fans on still being able to handle watching and listening to him. But for me it is just something I can't handle on doing. :boohoo

 

[analogue]

I suffer with depression, and there's no reason for me to feel depressed. I have a good life with a roof over my head, good friends, a good family. So why I feel the way I do is a mystery to me. I feel really guilty for feeling the way I do, because I feel like I have no right to be depressed when so many other people are far worse off than me.

And there was nothing that happened in my life (That I can think of) that triggered my depression. But I feel lonely when I'm not alone, and I have really low self esteem issues.

 

[Erandi]

I suffer with depression, and there's no reason for me to feel depressed. I have a good life with a roof over my head, good friends, a good family. So why I feel the way I do is a mystery to me. I feel really guilty for feeling the way I do, because I feel like I have no right to be depressed when so many other people are far worse off than me.

And there was nothing that happened in my life (That I can think of) that triggered my depression. But I feel lonely when I'm not alone, and I have really low self esteem issues.

You don't have to feel guilty for feeling the way you do (although some people may disregard the problems of the mind, since there are no signs of sickness on the surface)! Our minds work in mysterious ways. Some feelings have apparent triggers, others not. I think there's no doctor that can reach deep down into our subconsciousness and find what's really going on in there...

 

[Bad World Tour]

I am not an expert but i heard that sometimes write it down on a paper could help. write your feelings.


1. When in your life have you felt the most alive?
2. What makes you happiest?
3. What do you get so into, that you lose track of time when you
do it(and theres no anxiety/depression)?
4. What makes you incredibly excited/hype?
5. If you had a free hour to browse your favorite bookstore, what
section would you go to?

If you answer these "generic" questions maybe you will find a pattern or something related...jeez.. i dont know...
hope it helps

Heard to that talk to children or the elder is a good medicine
Once talked to a blind women and boy it was good.

 

[MJsBollywoodGirl7]

I am not an expert but i heard that sometimes write it down on a paper could help. write your feelings.


1. When in your life have you felt the most alive?
2. What makes you happiest?
3. What do you get so into, that you lose track of time when you
do it(and theres no anxiety/depression)?
4. What makes you incredibly excited/hype?
5. If you had a free hour to browse your favorite bookstore, what
section would you go to?

It won't do me any good by answering those questions. Since answering them would only depressed me even more further than I already am. Since my answers to those questions will all be MJ related. Who I now sadly regret of ever becoming a fan of his in the first place. I lost my true happiness the day I lost him. And since then I had forgotten what real happiness is. And Michael and being a fan of his was my real happiness and enjoyment. Now thanks to that evil nameless monster. I can only find empty happiness and enjoyment now through video and computer games. Which I now become very obsessed about. And also through Bollywood and astronomy.

 

[Michaela Jackson]

I think you need some professional help, dude. I really don't mean it in an offencive way, because I have personally experience with depression myself (as told before). You need to get help to sort those thougths out, because it's sometimes too much for a person to carry on their own. I've been there myself and I really can recommend some medication to make things easier. I wish you all the best!

 

[MIST]

I suffer with depression, and there's no reason for me to feel depressed. I have a good life with a roof over my head, good friends, a good family. So why I feel the way I do is a mystery to me. I feel really guilty for feeling the way I do, because I feel like I have no right to be depressed when so many other people are far worse off than me.

And there was nothing that happened in my life (That I can think of) that triggered my depression. But I feel lonely when I'm not alone, and I have really low self esteem issues.

I learned long time ago that some depressions come from things outside that happens to you, but there is another kind of depression which come from the inside of you .
That´s old but I think this says the same thing

The evidence suggests that in most cases it is a question of an interaction between biological, psychological and social factors, in some cases only the mental and in some cases only on biological and medical.

 

[MJsBollywoodGirl7]

I think you need some professional help, dude. I really don't mean it in an offencive way, because I have personally experience with depression myself (as told before). You need to get help to sort those thougths out, because it's sometimes too much for a person to carry on their own. I've been there myself and I really can recommend some medication to make things easier. I wish you all the best!

Actually I am seeing someone. And to me it is not really helping any. I have been going since September I think. What is not helping me is living with 2 very thick headed MJ haters who haven't been understanding at all of what I have been going through. Ever since that very first full horrible day without him. Those haters are my mother and her husband. And unfortunately I have no choice but to live with them. Since because of my disabilities and health problems I can not move out on my own. They can't seem to understand my constant need to want to play video and computer games all of the time now. When they have totally forgotten back when we still have him. I wasn't in to playing video and computer games all that much. Like I am now. When we still had him I have never wanted things like a Nintendo ds and a Nintendo Wii. Or any other of those game type consoles. I also now have a Nintendo Wii U and a Nintendo 3ds. Will eventually get a 3ds xl. Any way I was happy with the game consoles that I already had then. Which was my Super Nintendo, gameboy (Which I no longer have.), and the first 2 Playstations. Along with playing the games that I had for them. Which wasn't all that many. My Sims and Simcity games was really the only game I had an obsession for back when we still had him. Now I am making up for it big time by wanting all things that I can play games on. Which now includes my Kindle Fire hd and my iPad mini 3. 2 things I would never had wanted if we still had Michael. And hopefully for my birthday. Which is in 15 days. But I really no longer celebrate it. Since that evil monster ruin that for me for good. I am going to be getting myself a brand new gaming laptop computer. The one I have my eye on cost over 1300 dollars. But thankfully I have the money so I can get one. My mother and her husband thinks I am crazy for wanting a laptop that cost that much money. But I have told them I don't know how many times already why I need it. When I do get one I can finally play my Sims 3 and 4 games on it. Along with other games. But mainly Sims 3 since I don't care for 4 all that much. At least not as of yet. Since Sims 3 is better than 4. Since the laptop I play Sims 3 on now. Can't handle the game all that great any more. Sorry I didn't mean to go on about my gaming obsession. But it is because of that evil nameless evil monster. Is why I have an obsession for video and computer games now. I got to have some kind of an escape from my constant misery and the hell that I am now force to live in. All because of what that evil monster did. And I am still very angry over the fact that monster only had gotten a pathetic 4 years in prison. Instead of getting the death penalty. 4 years is not what I call justice. Where him getting the death penalty and then getting the same exact execution that he gave to Michael is. He has no right at all to be out there some where walking free. Let alone still be breathing. That is something Michael should still be doing. And that alone is something I can never get over. At least I can control that anger and rage of mine by watching Bollywood revenge movies. And imagining myself doing the same thing. Of how the characters in that movie are getting their revenge. Pratighat Ki Jwala from the 1994 Bollywood movie Anjaam has to be the most perfect revenge song ever made. How Shivani Chopra got her revenge on the 4 people that destroyed her happy life. In that movie is just way too perfect. Even the revenge scenes in the 2010 Bollywood movie Rahkt Charitra is just as perfect as they are in Anjaam. Even though Rahkt Charitra has more revenge scenes than Anjaam did. I saw Pratap in Rahkt Charitra as the angel of death. And Rahkt Charitra was base on a true story. But it is what Shivani did in Anjaam. Is what I so very badly wish I could do to that evil monster. Because he has no right at all to still be living. Where Michael should still be doing that. I'm sorry but the way I am now. Is something that is not ever going to change for me. Being constantly miserable, nasty, and angry is something the way it is going have to be now. Since I truly had forgotten what it is like to be happy. And I only have that evil nameless monster to be blame for my constant unhappiness. Cause without Michael there is no more happiness for me. And I have since gotten used to it.

 

[Bad World Tour]

My dear why not some spiritual guidance?

On hearing this, Jesus said to them, "It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners."

I heard that are 5 stages or something of that thing the last one is Acceptance.
I hope you reach that one. Revenge is no good. Love is the answer even love your enemies and pray for them.


I hear that focus on others, help other people could help to.
But i know the the situation is delicate people reacts different specially when they lose someone they love.
So the prhase " I know what you are going throught is not 100% accurate" is very complex and does vary between people.

take care
:ciao:

 

[MJsBollywoodGirl7]

My dear why not some spiritual guidance?



I heard that are 5 stages or something of that thing the last one is Acceptance.
I hope you reach that one. Revenge is no good. Love is the answer even love your enemies and pray for them.


I hear that focus on others, help other people could help to.
But i know the the situation is delicate people reacts different specially when they lose someone they love.
So the prhase " I know what you are going throught is not 100% accurate" is very complex and does vary between people.

take care
:ciao:

Love your enemies!?! Are you kidding me?!? How the hell can I love someone that has totally destroy my life. Even now I still tend to be haunted by those very horrific vivid nightmares I had of Michael. That I was constantly plague by them all through that first horrible summer and in to the fall without him. And I never once had nightmares that were that bad in my entire life. And I still tend to have those nightmares every now and then. I just had 2 of them in this month alone. When we still had Michael almost every single night I would always have the most happiest fun dreams about Michael. It was extremely rare that I would have nightmares about Michael. Or even about his kids. I totally blame that evil monster for those nightmares that I am now force to be haunted by them. Especially by the 2 that had cause me to wake up crying and shaking uncontrollably. And the insomnia that evil monster cause me to suffer with now. Without those happy MJ dreams that I used to have back when we still had him. I am never going to get the right amout of sleep ever again. I would be even lucky if I saw even just 4 hours of sleep. So how the hell could I love or even forgive someone who did that to me? Revenge is what I still want to do so very badly. But ever since going back to being a Christian. After what had happen to him. It is something I can not do. For a very long time when we still had him. I was an atheist and believe everything should have a scientific explaination. Which meant that God and Jesus did not exist to me. I was probably one of the most biggest skeptics in the world about the shroud of Turin. And always believe that some medieval painter had made that up. And thought that Italian church was totally insane to keep something. That was made by some medieval painter. But now I know differently. I am still learning how to be a good Christian. But I am still finding it extremely very hard. To forgive someone that has totally destroy ed my happy life that I once had. I know loving and forgiving your enemies is something Jesus and God would want me to do. But as of right it is something I can not do. Not when that evil monster is still walking and breathing freely somewhere. But I will let God handle the revenge for me. Though I so totally wish he would do it right now instead of later. Cause I know God's ultimate revenge is by sending that evil monster to eternally burn in that Lake Of Fire. Where monsters like him are.

 

[Bad World Tour]

Love your enemies!?! Are you kidding me?!? How the hell can I love someone that has totally destroy my life. Even now I still tend to be haunted by those very horrific vivid nightmares I had of Michael. That I was constantly plague by them all through that first horrible summer and in to the fall without him. And I never once had nightmares that were that bad in my entire life. And I still tend to have those nightmares every now and then. I just had 2 of them in this month alone. When we still had Michael almost every single night I would always have the most happiest fun dreams about Michael. It was extremely rare that I would have nightmares about Michael. Or even about his kids. I totally blame that evil monster for those nightmares that I am now force to be haunted by them. Especially by the 2 that had cause me to wake up crying and shaking uncontrollably. And the insomnia that evil monster cause me to suffer with now. Without those happy MJ dreams that I used to have back when we still had him. I am never going to get the right amout of sleep ever again. I would be even lucky if I saw even just 4 hours of sleep. So how the hell could I love or even forgive someone who did that to me? Revenge is what I still want to do so very badly. But ever since going back to being a Christian. After what had happen to him. It is something I can not do. For a very long time when we still had him. I was an atheist and believe everything should have a scientific explaination. Which meant that God and Jesus did not exist to me. I was probably one of the most biggest skeptics in the world about the shroud of Turin. And always believe that some medieval painter had made that up. And thought that Italian church was totally insane to keep something. That was made by some medieval painter. But now I know differently. I am still learning how to be a good Christian. But I am still finding it extremely very hard. To forgive someone that has totally destroy ed my happy life that I once had. I know loving and forgiving your enemies is something Jesus and God would want me to do. But as of right it is something I can not do. Not when that evil monster is still walking and breathing freely somewhere. But I will let God handle the revenge for me. Though I so totally wish he would do it right now instead of later. Cause I know God's ultimate revenge is by sending that evil monster to eternally burn in that Lake Of Fire. Where monsters like him are.

Hi.
I honestly liked to read your message.
Sometimes is good to write all that you have in your heart.

So you are feeling any better after that?
Maybe some good and consistenly routines will get you better on that sleeping/nigthmares departement.
I really am not a big "fan or hospitals or medicines"

here some useful tips:

http://www.thesimpledollar.com/nine-frugal-strategies-for-tackling-the-winter-blues/

I do not want to sound harsh but ill try to say in a gentil way.
I think professional help will suit you best at this moment(pick on doctor of the same gender as you is better) dont listen to some idiots like me on the net.
Idiots like me can only give you attention and a free hug:blush:

love:angel:

 

[MJsBollywoodGirl7]

No I am not feeling any better. And I did mention I was seeing someone in my one post. And it is really not helping me any. It is a guy that I am seeing. I wanted a lady but there was none available where I live. That really doesn't do me any good. Since I don't have that. I happen to love the winter season. And I already do a few of those things already it doesn't help me any. It really doesn't matter to me any more. After over 6 years I have gotten quite used to my depression. That I have since excepted that my days as a MJ fan are over for me.

 

[8701girl]

I first got depression bout two years ago i think but its not as bad as it was in the begininng of it. I had lost interest in evertything i loved to do and also losy weight, wouldnt eat or drink much and just fely exhausted, which was really bad. I had gone through many pschycologists & psychiarsts , taken every medication under the sun but they made evertything worse and made me feel like i was in hell. After all that i decided to go to my local Gp and get his help and thank god i did cuz i am so much better but the only setback is now cuz of the midication im on its makes me t5hirsty & hungry alot which is bad . Apart from that all is good and im hoping i will get off the medications soon as i have been on them for a year now

 

[Word Smith Sr]

*Hugs to all the people who suffer* Listening to music helps me a lot. Moreover, you can use meetup.com to meet people with similar interests. Not being alone can help.

 

[Michaels Lover]

I suffer with depression, and there's no reason for me to feel depressed. I have a good life with a roof over my head, good friends, a good family. So why I feel the way I do is a mystery to me. I feel really guilty for feeling the way I do, because I feel like I have no right to be depressed when so many other people are far worse off than me.

And there was nothing that happened in my life (That I can think of) that triggered my depression. But I feel lonely when I'm not alone, and I have really low self esteem issues.

a depression doesn't have to be triggered by anything, it can come out of nowhere...when I got my first depression in 2006, there was nothing that triggered it, and i was completely confused wft i was feeling so damn miserable all the time, then I got some help, and it helped me understand that there doesn't necessarily have to be a reason that causes depression
and I know what you mean, with feeling really guilty for feeling that way, when so many other people are far worse off. My dad always said to me, would you want to trade life with someone who's starving or are homeless? no, of course not. of course, I don't want that. and I thought he had a good point, and was right and that I should stop feeling so sorry for myself. But then later on I came to realize, I didn't choose to have these diseases, and they come with the feelings they do, it's just a part of it, and that's just the way it is, and there's not much I can do about it. of course I don't want to trade life with someone who is far worse off than me, and I am still very grateful for being so fortunate to have a good life, but i damn sure have stopped feeling guilty. why feel guilty about something you can't control?

No I am not feeling any better. And I did mention I was seeing someone in my one post. And it is really not helping me any. It is a guy that I am seeing. I wanted a lady but there was none available where I live. That really doesn't do me any good. Since I don't have that. I happen to love the winter season. And I already do a few of those things already it doesn't help me any. It really doesn't matter to me any more. After over 6 years I have gotten quite used to my depression. That I have since excepted that my days as a MJ fan are over for me.

you say you've seen this guy since september? is it once a week, or how often? also, do you take medicine? If not, it might be a good idea to talk to him about it. you can't expect to be cured 3-4 months, even WITH medicine. I saw my therapist for almost a year before I was starting to feel better...and I also took medicine (and still do)...and I was even only newly diagnosed with depression then (in 2006), yet it took me that long. you've had it for 6 years, you say? you gotta give it more time. also, depressions differs in severity. the worse it is, the longer it takes. i do recommend talking to your therapist about getting medicine if you don't take any now, it really does help A LOT. I couldn't have made it this far without it

 

[xosweetseducingsighsxo]

I found out I had anxiety a few months when I had a breakdown over the mere thought of turning 18 this year and starting college. I suffer from depression and ptsd due to traumatic incidents that occurred when I was really young, and then another one happened almost five years ago. My family reassures me it'll be okay but most of the time I fake a smile and act like I agree. Sometimes it gets really bad and I'll have triggering nightmares. I even have separation anxiety and can't be away from my mother too long. I guess music's my only outlet...I write it, play it and listen to it. It's the only thing that can relate to my struggles.

 

[MJsBollywoodGirl7]

you say you've seen this guy since september? is it once a week, or how often? also, do you take medicine? If not, it might be a good idea to talk to him about it. you can't expect to be cured 3-4 months, even WITH medicine. I saw my therapist for almost a year before I was starting to feel better...and I also took medicine (and still do)...and I was even only newly diagnosed with depression then (in 2006), yet it took me that long. you've had it for 6 years, you say? you gotta give it more time. also, depressions differs in severity. the worse it is, the longer it takes. i do recommend talking to your therapist about getting medicine if you don't take any now, it really does help A LOT. I couldn't have made it this far without it

In the beginning it was once a week. Now it is once a month. I would like to be taking anti-depressants. Because I know that is what I need. But my MJ hating mother and her MJ hating husband won't allowed me to take them. But you know it really doesn't matter to me anymore. I am just so very used to being constantly miserable and nasty now. My only relieve from my constant misery and nastiness is through my total obsession to video and computer games. But I still do miss the happiness that I once always felt back when we still had Michael. It is also quite rare for me to have a good day anymore. Because there is always something or someone to ruin it for me. When I tried so very hard to have a good day for once. I don't even watch the tv as much as I did when we still had him. My way of watching the tv now is watching it with a piece of cloth covering the tv. And having the tv on mute. Just so I can avoid anything that might be MJ related. Or keep me from seeing people that had once knew him. Because I don't find that fair at all for me. Because they got to know him and I didn't. And my most biggest dream ever was to one day meet him. But a lot of the times. Like when I am in my room. I just leave the tv off. Only putting it on if there is something that I really want to see. But all the cable channel documenturies that I had liked. Preferably the kind that the HIStory Channel had shown back when we still had him. I can never really watch again. Because I can't handle watching something that aired during the last 5 or 10 years of Michael's life.:boohoo I don't even like watching ghost related programs anymore. Because they really tend to make me think about Michael way too much. Last week was what would have been my 36th birthday. And it was another birthday totally ruin for me. As it has been ever since my 30th birthday. Thanks to that evil nameless monster I will never have another true happy ever again. Listening and watching Michael. And happily spending my birthday wondering what he and his children was doing on my birthday was what always made my birthdays really great. I so remember when I was celebrating my 29th birthday. I could not wait to celebrate my 30th. Because I had so wanted my 30th birthday to be an MJ theme birthday. Little did I knew at the time it was my first birthday without him. And all I wanted was to be left alone. And try very hard not to think about what day it was for me. Now it has gotten to a point with me that I totally regret of becoming a MJ fan in the first place. And I have been a fan of his for practically my entire life. I even have thoughts about taking all of my MJ related items and burning them. And I have been an off and on collector of MJ related items ever since 1990. It has been probably 3 or 4 years or so now since I had last wanted something MJ related. I just so totally miss the days when I was a true hardcore MJ fan. And Michael was my total obsession. Now Shahrukh Khan has since replaced him. But he is still no Michael. Even though he is a fan of his. But with Shahrukh I only have one thing in common with him. And that is our birthdays are within the first 5 days of a month. But with Michael I had so many things in common with him. There is probably no other MJ fan that has as many things in common with Michael as I have. But it is the weird connection that we both have to the number 7. Is probably what really hurts the most for me. More than all of the other things we have in common. But thanks to that evil nameless monster. I am now still trying to except the fact that I will always be that Eeyore with the black rain cloud over his head. The day that evil monster forever took my beloved Michael away from me. Was also the day my happiness has forever ended with me. :boohoo I may still laugh at certain things that are funny. But I feel absolute no happiness or anything towards it. Because as soon as I am done laughing at something I am back to being miserable and nasty again. And I just can't stand being that way anymore. But I have no choice but to feel that way now. Since that evil monster forever took my happiness away from me. :boohoo

 

[Naturelle]

Please don't give up hope. Continue with your therapy treats and get the medications you need to help you get out of this black hole that you are in. I was once tha same situation and it took me about 6 months to a year to see the light again, however, today still remain on my medications.

 

[CodaBroda]

Forget about Michael for a sec, MJsBollywoodGirl7. First, you need to be able to love yourself. Without the video games, without Michael. To be able to confidently say "I love myself" without all that. You don't need Michael to be happy, you've got your wonderful self. In fact if anyone needs someone to be happy (a significant other, a friend, etc.) they need to take a step back and look at themselves. Who are you? What do you want to achieve in life? Why exactly does Michael's death make you sad? Are you missing the feeling of excitement in your life, or the feeling of having a friend (or however you see Michael). Why do you need specifically him to be happy? Think about these things, within yourself. And most importantly, what can you do to improve these things? Now do them. Only you can make the improvements. Whatever you decide, know that whatever you decide to do is special, because it's your decision.
It took months of this self-therapy before I was able to understand and truly love myself, my life, and this world we all live in. Please move forward, you deserve better than the situation you're in. Much love.

 

[MJsBollywoodGirl7]

Forget about Michael for a sec, MJsBollywoodGirl7. First, you need to be able to love yourself. Without the video games, without Michael. To be able to confidently say "I love myself" without all that. You don't need Michael to be happy, you've got your wonderful self. In fact if anyone needs someone to be happy (a significant other, a friend, etc.) they need to take a step back and look at themselves. Who are you? What do you want to achieve in life? Why exactly does Michael's death make you sad? Are you missing the feeling of excitement in your life, or the feeling of having a friend (or however you see Michael). Why do you need specifically him to be happy? Think about these things, within yourself. And most importantly, what can you do to improve these things? Now do them. Only you can make the improvements. Whatever you decide, know that whatever you decide to do is special, because it's your decision.
It took months of this self-therapy before I was able to understand and truly love myself, my life, and this world we all live in. Please move forward, you deserve better than the situation you're in. Much love.

Actually I already do L.O.V.E. myself. As I have said before I do have other things that I like. Like Bollywood and astronomy. But I have absolutely no friends where I live. Other than myself and the Sims in my Sims games. It is because of me being an MJ fan is why I don't have a single friend at all where I live. Back when the first allegations was going on with Michael. I was about to start 7th grade. And I was terrified of what the other kids might think if they knew I was an MJ fan. And when they finally did found out that I was a MJ fan. I was made fun of endlessly for it. You try going to a school that is totally full of MJ haters and see how you like. The school that I was going to it was not considered cool or even awesome to like Michael Jackson. Not a single kid wanted to be my friend. Not as long I remain a fan of that child molesting freak. As the way they were seeing Michael back then. Unlike them I didn't see Michael the way the American media was seeing him. And that was main reason why I was made fun of so badly back then. Because while those kids were believing what the media was saying I never once did. I don't have no boyfriends or anything. Since Michael was the only guy I ever truly loved ever since I was 12 years old. With all the things I had in common with him I was so perfect for him. Depsite the 21 year age difference between us. Which is why I am still contantly wearing mostly all black clothes. Because I am still in a constant state of mourning. I had read some sites of how to really love yourself. But some of them I can not do. Like don't allowed toxic people in your life. That is like really impossible for me. Since I am forced to live with 2 very toxic people. Which is my MJ hating mother and her MJ hating husband. Who have not been understanding at all of what I have been going through. Ever since what had happen to Michael. Yoga and Pilates is something else I can not do. Because I believe a Christian should not be doing that. And I most certainley can not go to the movies. Since all the movie theaters where I live only show stupid Hollywood made movies. Not a single Bollywood movie is shown. And I only watch Bollywood movies now. Mainly because except for Betty White all of my favorite Hollywood stars are all dead now. And they were the true stars of Hollywood. Not any of these so called Hollywood celebrities of today. So in ordered for me to see the latest Bollywood movie. I have to wait for it to come out on dvd. Or on one of those video type sites. Playing video and computer games. Watching non related MJ related stuff on you tube. And watching Bollywood related stuff. Are my ways of loving myself.

 

[Michaels Lover]

In the beginning it was once a week. Now it is once a month. I would like to be taking anti-depressants. Because I know that is what I need. But my MJ hating mother and her MJ hating husband won't allowed me to take them. But you know it really doesn't matter to me anymore. I am just so very used to being constantly miserable and nasty now. My only relieve from my constant misery and nastiness is through my total obsession to video and computer games.

you're 36, and your mom and her husband wont allow you to take medicine? I get that you live with them, but...you're 36....
and this guy you see, is he a therapist, or what is his title? you only see him once a month, I don't think that's enough at at all, you need at least once a week...
you say it doesn't matter to you anymore, but you keep constantly writing about it on here...to me it looks like a cry for help. and you do need help but we can't give you the help you need on here. maybe you just need to get it out, and you feel this is the only place to do it? I don't know....but if you're seeking help on the internet a site/forum that is qualified to do so, would be a more appropriate option for you

 

[MJsBollywoodGirl7]

you're 36, and your mom and her husband wont allow you to take medicine? I get that you live with them, but...you're 36....
and this guy you see, is he a therapist, or what is his title? you only see him once a month, I don't think that's enough at at all, you need at least once a week...
you say it doesn't matter to you anymore, but you keep constantly writing about it on here...to me it looks like a cry for help. and you do need help but we can't give you the help you need on here. maybe you just need to get it out, and you feel this is the only place to do it? I don't know....but if you're seeking help on the internet a site/forum that is qualified to do so, would be a more appropriate option for you

Yeah I am 36 now. But because of my disabilities and health problems. I have no choice but to live with them. And do as they say. I used to see him once a week. But for some reason he only wants to see me once a month. And I did try to bring up the discussion about Michael to him. And he didn't want to talk about it. And just change the subject on me. I should have known what would happen. Because he is just another typical MJ hater. I have to be really cursed or something because every single person I had ever known in my life. Especially the people in my family are all MJ haters. The closest I had ever gotten to knowing another MJ fan. Was my marriage by only cousin. Of course that only lasted until the 93 allegations came out. And she became one of the most biggest MJ haters you could ever want to meet. She destroyed all of her MJ items. Instead of giving them to me. And at one time I used to always believe once an MJ fan always an MJ fan. And I have been an MJ fan for practically my entire life. My cousin kind of proove to me that is wrong. But then again if she really was a true MJ fan. She would have never believe those allegations in the first place. Because a true MJ fan would not believe in any lies about him. I only come on here because who else can I talk about Michael to. Despite the fact that 99.5% of my hardcore MJ fandom is now gone from me. But that half percent is still there. But I still so badly wish it was the full 100%. :boohoo

 

[analogue]

Here's a great video about depression

 

[L.T.D]

I suffer from Anxiety. It is mostly related to getting a job but comes into everyday social situations quite a lot. I have started so many jobs and panicked and left in the middle of the day, or refused to go back after only one shift. I hate the idea of being stuck in a situation I am uncomfortable in for 8 hours, or even 4 hours. The less time I have to be stuck there the easier it is for me.

It is a lot to do with fear of being judged or letting people down, or fear that I will do something wrong in the job and mess something up. I am currently going to cognitive behavioural therapy to help me get over it and I'm on a medication for it as well.

My anxiety is pretty mild until it comes to getting a job, that is the only hurdle in my life. I have had one job which I stuck at for a decent amount of time and that was working nights with no customers around, it's awful and I wish there was a magic wand to help me get over it.

 

[8701girl]

Awww :hug:

 

[Bad World Tour]

Big "family" is a blessing from God you can feel it more on sad days like funeral or joyous occasion like weddings and birthdays. footnote of the book of Jeremiah

The Friendship develops happiness and reduce the misery by doubling our joy and dividing our grief (Joseph Addison)

If one part suffers, every part suffers with it; if one part is honored, every part rejoices with it. 1 Corinthians 12:26

you are not alone - Michael Jackson

I pray you all fine. :ciao:

 

[analogue]

Off to see the doctor tomorrow. Hopefully I don't look foolish lol

 

[Naturelle]

Good luck. Hope thing work out for you.