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reaction at death of mj !!!

Smooth Criminal

Smooth Criminal

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i am indian and many indians don't know about mj. but mj is my fav. pop star since 2004 i love his songs when i heard that he is at icu and i skipped my heartbeat whan i see this photo and started to crying at my room.
coffin-hug_1439014c.jpg
:(:(:( what's your reaction whan u see mj at death ???
 
I cried my eyes out when I watched the memorial on tv
 
To be honest, I felt like dying at that very moment. I was ten years old too, so imagine how that must've felt. Knowing that the person you've loved your whole life-gone. I couldn't do anything :(
 
I sat still for a long time in shock, then I walked around for the first few days feeling numb with off again on again silent weeping. I prayed a lot and tried to come to a place of peace about the whole thing. It felt surreal, and difficult to grasp.

I then decided to drive up to Neverland (like many did) about four days after, and when arrangements for that trip were becoming difficult, because I was already sitting on a lot of emotion, I completely lost it and then the tears really poured out. I realized then that I was a bit of a mess. I did go to Neverland though, and it was so peaceful there (even with the crowds of fans hanging everywhere at the place) that it had a way of calming my nerves and I started to do better. I had some real good talks with God about it all and peace really did come. So I thank Neverland for helping me right there from the beginning.
 
I am not going to mention on exactly that I did on that horrible June day. It will just going to make me cry all over again. Thinking about just how happy and excited I was for Michael for those concerts. At 6:30 that night. I change the channel on my tv to watch the one national news program in my country. Cause I had wanted to hear what they had to say about Farrah Fawcett. But instead of them showing Farrah. It was Michael's Jam performance from his Bucharest Dangerous Concert they were showing instead. And I started scream when I saw those years being posted. I did started to cry even know I was more in shock. But then I realized this had to be someone's very sick idea of a joke. So I came to this site knowing that no MJ fan would ever make a joke that sick and cruel. And turn out to be true and I really started to cry. I even went to be early that night thinking that this had to be a nightmare that I was having. And when I wake up again Michael would still be working on those This Is It Concerts. So wish that was true. I spent most of July 7th of that horrible year in bed sleeping. So I didn't think about what was going on in that Californian building. In fact all I did was I spent most of the first month or so in my bed sleeping. I just really didn't want to think about it. I had also lost nearly 50 pounds in that first month or so without him. Eating was the very last thing in the world I had wanted to do. 4 years later I am still very much in mourning over him. With my constant wearing of black pants and a black MJ t-shirt. Thankfully I have my Bollywood movies. Especially the ones that has Shahrukh Khan in them. And the Bollywood movies about getting murderous revenge on someone. I still so very badly wish that I could be the real life version of Shivani Chopra. From the movie Anjaam. The way she sought out revenge in that movie is just so very perfect. My video and computer games also has help to turn to. Just to help me with my depression over him. Even though I still very much am suffering from depression from what had happen to him.:( I still can't believe that at the age of 29. That I had forever lost the L.O.V.E. of my life my beloved soul mate to some evil heartless monster.:( :boohoo
 
I was actually in a bit of a hiatus from my MJ fanaticism when that dreadful day came... I remember I went to my parents' room to get something and asked my dad something I can't remember.... he was watching the news but I didn't bother to pay attention because it's a show I hate(d) and that he likes to watch religiously everyday, so I kinda just stood there looking for the thing, he was just looking at me and I know he probably didn't want to tell me as I entered the room but he finally did and I remember I brought my hands to my mouth and just gasped out of shock, but then I told him it HAD to be a joke because I hadn't seen it online, he said it wasn't that they had just confirmed it and I ran back to my computer, that's when I realized it was true and honestly I was just too shocked to even cry or do anything. My mother asked me if I had any posters left or anything to remember him by and I didn't say anything I just sat there in disbelief, ran to tell my sister and we both just kinda stood there silently... it was that night when I went to my bed and silently cried my eyes out, I felt so guilty because I had stopped updating on him and didn't play his music as much as I used to in the years prior to his death. The next month I just kept playing his music and crying so hard my head hurt, I still do sometimes and I don't think I'll ever get over it but I'm honestly living a very normal life, remembering the amazing moments and memories he gave me for 10+ years of my life as a fan and trying to keep a positive attitude, keeping his legacy, memory and message alive in my heart.
 
The only thing I can say is that for me it was the worst feeling to know about what happened to Michael. This feeling will always be with me. A mix of sadness, pain and emptiness. And will remain so..... :cry:
 
Well, the last 4 years have been a real blur to me... I went from denial into shock back in denial... then into anger and depression... The whole bloody grief circle over and over again :doh:

Now, my mind knows that Michael is in heaven but my :heart: can't cope with this horrible loss.
My mind knows that Michael's soul lives on but I can't seem to grasp that he's NOT here any more and I can only meet him when I meditate :blush:

It left quite a gash in my soul and I tell everyone who has a boyfriend... to cherish him cause you'll only know and feel how much you :love: them when you lose them :sigh:

Even the title of this thread is :blink:

Michael is NOT DEAD... He LIVES in HEAVEN :angel:
 
I just cried...hard. The type of crying that happens when a parent dies :weeping: I had the news on all night and whenever they recapped on the headline that would start me off again :( I remember deciding on walking into work the following day and sitting in the park in front of my works building and staring off into nothing for about half hour. It's taken me so long to accept the fact he's not coming back and get my head around that fact. But sometime last year I tried to keep my head above the dark clouds and have just about managed to do that ever since. Everyone reacts differently but in a way (maybe a strange way of putting it) I am grateful to Michael for passing because it has enabled me to meet so many wonderful and genuinely fantastic like-minded fans and HUMAN BEINGS who loved Michael like I did :yes:
 
I don't understand why this thread title has the smiley "
icon6.png
" in it. Really disrespectful if you ask me.
 
My first reaction as I heard it: Wait! Maybe it's just a rumour. As I saw his casket on TV I broke down and cried the whole mamorial... Today it's a little bit better but it still hurts.
My family thinks I'm completly crazy because I'm still mourning. They don't understand it because it's only Michael Jackson who died... That makes me so sad how my own family can thinking like that.

To me a human died, a human I love so so much and who means so much to me. I hear oftens things like "how can you mourn a death from a man you didn't know in person?". To me Michael is a part of my life and it will always be hard for that he had to die so young and so mysterious!
 
When I heard that Michael died, I couldn't sleep that night. I stayed awake all that night in total shock and sadness. Even after all this time, I am still upset about Michael's death. I don't believe I will ever get over it.
 
Ashtanga said:
The only thing I can say is that for me it was the worst feeling to know about what happened to Michael. This feeling will always be with me. A mix of sadness, pain and emptiness. And will remain so..... :cry:
Click to expand...

the same for me !!

....it was towards 23h here and my brother has to call me on the phone to announce the drama to me, I did not believe it (I did not want to accept it)!!!!
And the next morning with the alarm clock I was in a state of shock : Swoon:: Cry:, I did not succeed yet has to make my mourning to date not I do not arrive there : Non:
( fortunately that I am believing and that I will have immense happiness to re-examine it one day : Heart: )
 
It really changed me the way I look at life and it's challenges now... People around me 'fret' at silly stuff like a Presentation or a some material stuff they tend to lose...

I LOST everything DEAR to me and not ONE thing can 'cover' that gaping wound :blush: It completely changed me FOREVER... I'm NOT the same person anymore than I was before June 25th :sigh:

I'm even learning a NEW job because I kind 'lost' my skills too :blink:

To end on a positive note... I've learnt NOT to take things for granted though and 'rejoice' in memories and challenges... :doh:
 
I got a call from a good friend who told me the news. I blew it off as a hoax because those things happen but it nagged at me. this friend never just called out of the blue (still doesn't) and also doesn't lie. It was about 4pm when I got home (phone call 3:30) and the first thing I did was turn the TV on and go to CNN. they were showing the images of the gurrny going from the chopper to the hospital. I was stunned I walked the 4 steps into my parents kitchen fell to my knees and started balling with the dog coming to comfort me. I went online (MJcafe.net) and talked with everyone. I had been offline for a while but needed the like minded people. after dinner that night I went to a sportsman shop (you know fishing and hunting gear) that is just outside the city I live in. While in his truck we normally listened the sports radio but even they were more interested in the Michael was gone than the baseball game that was on. Then late that evening my best friend who had heard on IMDb about it called to make sure I was Ok.
 
I Can't Exactly Tell What Happened To Me On That Day. I Had Something Like Nothing. I Just Couldn't Believe It, That MJJ Is DEAD.. At First When I Got The News From TV I Thought They were Just Joking .. But When I Read It On Newspaper Next Day And Saw The Dead body Of This Angel I Just Could not Control My Tears. :no: I Knew That My Ambitions ( I had an ambition of at least hugging him In my Life For Once ) Were Never Going To Be Fulfilled. I Just Can't Tell How I Felt On That Day. It Was a Black Day In My Life. :cry:

P.S. I am Also An Indian.... :')
 
criminally bad said:
i am indian and many indians don't know about mj. but mj is my fav. pop star since 2004 i love his songs when i heard that he is at icu and i skipped my heartbeat whan i see this photo and started to crying at my room.
coffin-hug_1439014c.jpg
:(:(:( what's your reaction whan u see mj at death ???
Click to expand...

This photo breaks my heart.
I was at the memorial and this brings back the pain, and the memory of that day.

I saw Michael in March 2009 and 3 months later he passed away. I still to this day can't understand.

Many Indians don't know Michael? Really? Wow............
 
I literally can remember that day like it was yesterday...
The pain sits in me,and still to this day.I never could have dreamed that one person,let alone a celebrity,could mean my entire universe to me.But Michael is that to me.I not only lost my father,brother,mentor,teacher,lover,and everything that tragic day,but I also lost my biggest opportunity of meeting and thanking him.
To this day,I still have not found the words to describe how I feel about him,and the ways he's completed my life.And without him and his music,I wouldn't be alive.It's still just painful to think about all the sh*t he had to endure on Earth,and he surely wasn't happy living on Earth anymore.
But I do know one thing for sure.In Heaven,Michael is free.He spread his wings and flew up to the skies to sit next to God,and that's the truest blessing anyone could ever ask for.And for the last three years on June 25th(2010-2012),he's visited my dreams in spirit.And that really makes me thankful to know that he's free.
Thank you,Michael.
 
BeautifulSoul said:
I literally can remember that day like it was yesterday...
The pain sits in me,and still to this day.I never could have dreamed that one person,let alone a celebrity,could mean my entire universe to me.But Michael is that to me.I not only lost my father,brother,mentor,teacher,lover,and everything that tragic day,but I also lost my biggest opportunity of meeting and thanking him.
To this day,I still have not found the words to describe how I feel about him,and the ways he's completed my life.And without him and his music,I wouldn't be alive.It's still just painful to think about all the sh*t he had to endure on Earth,and he surely wasn't happy living on Earth anymore.
But I do know one thing for sure.In Heaven,Michael is free.He spread his wings and flew up to the skies to sit next to God,and that's the truest blessing anyone could ever ask for.And for the last three years on June 25th(2010-2012),he's visited my dreams in spirit.And that really makes me thankful to know that he's free.
Thank you,Michael.
Click to expand...
I know its probably not much of a comforting thought to you - but Michael knew what he meant to us. And we meant so much to him too.
You're right he is now free.

xx
 
Worst day of my life. I remember that entire day; I had gone for a long walk and listened to Michael's music, then sat down next to my computer and found out through Facebook that Michael had passed away through a friend's post. What made it even worse was that some ignorant jerks had commented on the post calling Michael an overrated child molester etc and it upset me even further. I also hoped that it was just another wild rumor and checked google news to make sure but it was confirmed and I remember my heart going ice cold and feeling completely empty and hopeless inside. At the same time I was angry that all of these celebs were praising Michael as the news broke; Celebs who never stood up for him when he needed their support the most. I was also angry because I thought it was so unfair that out of all the famous people in the world, Michael, who was the most kind, gentle, charitable, extremely talented, unique and wonderful person, was the one who had left us. I felt bad for everything he had to go through and all the times people let him down and ridiculed him, everything was so unfair. I broke down in tears and couldn't sleep or eat much for the next two days, but as we all know, the pain of having lost him never goes away. Love and support to you all.
 
At first i didn't believe it. I thought that it was tabloids making up some B.S as usual, but when it was confirmed i was in shock and very sad. On June 25th 2009 the whole world stood still. It's amazing how one person can have such an impact on the entire planet
 
My Mother (who I stayed with at the time) woke me up in the early morning crying and saying "Michael is gone". I was so chocked and didn´t know what to say to a crying mother. I got up and said it can´t be true, but she said it is since she had talked to someone who worked for him. She met him so many times and spend a lot of time with him. In the next days after I was her support and we talked about Michael all days. After 2 weeks it hit me and the sadness came over me. It´s horrible.
 
I remember that night like it was yesterday. I came on here to check if there was any news of the new album and the This Is It preparations. I saw a thread about an ambulance being called to Michael's home. Nobody knew what was happening or what to believe. There had been so many false stories about Michael in the weeks before, I wasn't too worried at first. I checked a few news websites and Sky News on my tv. Nothing. I was relieved but still concerned. Little did I know at the time, but Michael was already gone.

As the story started to develop that Michael had had a heart attack, suddenly it was on all the news websites and Sky News. I sat watching the tv as the story became "Michael is in a coma". Then...........when the presenter on Sky News opened her mouth I knew what was coming...............Michael was dead.

The tears came immediately. I stayed up until 4am watching as his body was transferred. Still being hunted and stalked by the media circus. I got very little sleep so I didn't go to work the next day. Over the next few weeks I felt numb. I cried often and missed Michael desperately. Never more so than when watching Paris speak at his memorial.

The pain doesn't go, you just learn to live with it.
 
I remember I saw some of the memorial but after a while I stopped to watch it and began to clean some drawers.
I hadn´t turned off the tv and the house is small ,I remember gone to soon but no other songs although I must have heard them.
It began to be late but I waited for "live in Bucharest",they sent it after the memorial.

I knew he was dead but I suppose I was in some sort of a denial.I didn´t want to see the casket I wanted to see Michael alive,performing.

I didn´t see the funeral and I think it´s something I never want to do.
 
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