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PSA- Empathizing With One Another (instead of trying to convince one another).

Re: PSA- We're all fans here.

SmoothCollins said:
This is SUCH a good point. I initially needed to take some time off after June, and now I've come back because I need people around me who understand what I'm going through. The kind of grief we are dealing with is so rare, unique, and I think a lot of us don't really know what to do with it.

Michael, to us, was probably one of the closest people and one of the most (if not the most) important person in our lives, yet most of us hadn't even met him. So the friends and family in our lives aren't usually understanding of what we're going through, and we're not able to express our feelings.

Having MJJC is going to be crucially important to all of us in the next years- grief like this doesn't ever completely go away, and we really need a safe haven for us to remember, love, have fun, enjoy, and share with other fans.

As you post at MJJC, notice other fans' "mood" smileys that they've chosen. Most are sad, confused, etc. Most of us are still feeling the effects, and it's really important that we love one another right now- to show that understanding and empathy. If someone attacks, it's possible that they're feeling really frusterated and alone. As Michael said in his Heal the Kids speeches- those are the people who need love the most :flowers: We could all use it.

Thanks for bringing that up :) .
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Holy Cow... Maybe it's because I just listened to the leaked track of "Much Too Soon", but you hit the nail on the head. You also made a few tears shed. I tried leaving the boards for a short while myself, but I found myself unable to talk to anyone about what I'm going through, let alone empathize. Our grief is extremely rare, and also the most confusingly painful. I seriously wonder why I am even crying over him still. (rhetorical statement...i know the answer to this...)

Yes, we all are still feeling the effects. Me personally, it's like a wound re-opened with all this hype over the new album.

And it only hurts me more to see us so cut-throat. We must come together. We simply must. If not in agreement, then in hope of a better tomorrow.
 
Re: PSA- We're all fans here.

IvoryKeys said:
Holy Cow... Maybe it's because I just listened to the leaked track of "Much Too Soon", but you hit the nail on the head. You also made a few tears shed. I tried leaving the boards for a short while myself, but I found myself unable to talk to anyone about what I'm going through, let alone empathize. Our grief is extremely rare, and also the most confusingly painful. I seriously wonder why I am even crying over him still. (rhetorical statement...i know the answer to this...)

Yes, we all are still feeling the effects. Me personally, it's like a wound re-opened with all this hype over the new album.

And it only hurts me more to see us so cut-throat. We must come together. We simply must. If not in agreement, then in hope of a better tomorrow.
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Awww *hugs* You are not alone in feeling this way. And sharing how you feel will probably turn around and help someone else. If you haven't already read them, there is a blog entry ("Michael Jackson fans: How Do You Heal?") and a poem (written by a wonderful person and fan) that may mean as much to you as they did to me :flowers: . I'll post the links below.

http://www.innermichael.com/2010/11/michael-jackson-fans-how-do-you-heal/

http://withachildsheart.wordpress.com/2010/10/15/bodhisattva/

Also there's an awesome group on facebook called "Major Love Prayer". The main purpose is that everyone in the group prays at the same time on the same day every month (like 'sending out ... a major lo-o-ove' from APOM :) ), no matter the religion or anything like that . Prayer is an amazing tool for healing.

http://www.facebook.com/#!/pages/Major-Love-Prayer/205187412741
 
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Re: PSA- We're all fans here.

IvoryKeys said:
Holy Cow... Maybe it's because I just listened to the leaked track of "Much Too Soon", but you hit the nail on the head. You also made a few tears shed. I tried leaving the boards for a short while myself, but I found myself unable to talk to anyone about what I'm going through, let alone empathize. Our grief is extremely rare, and also the most confusingly painful. I seriously wonder why I am even crying over him still. (rhetorical statement...i know the answer to this...)

Yes, we all are still feeling the effects. Me personally, it's like a wound re-opened with all this hype over the new album.

And it only hurts me more to see us so cut-throat. We must come together. We simply must. If not in agreement, then in hope of a better tomorrow.
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Oh noo!! You aren't alone! :better:
 
You don´t need facebook to join majorloveprayer http://www.majorloveprayer.org/
It´s time again soon 25th november.Is a great feeling to to be there and I love to see the map afterwards to see from which countries the others come from.
But you don´t have to have a computer when you join it,some of us are going to work or are working and for some of us it´s time to sleep.
 
You know what we need?

DIALOGUE!

Not discussion!!!!!!

That is so important and SO not @ MJJC at this moment!
Respect eachothers opinions, never try to overrule people. Respect. Respect!

RULES OF DIALOGUE
- Honor others and listen to them deeply with your heart and mind
- Seek common ground for consensus, but avoid "group-think" by acknowledging and honoring the deversity of views.
- Refrain from irrelevant or internperate intervention.
- Ackowledge other' contributions to the discussion before making your own.
- Remember that silence also speaks; speak only when you have a contribution to make by posing a relevant question, presenting a fact, making or clarifying a point, or advancing the discussion to more specificity or greater consensus.
- Identify the critical points of difference for further discussion.
- Never distort other views in order to advance your own; try to restate the others' positions to their satisfaction before presenting your own differing views.
- Thank you 'colleagues' for their contributions.
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And thank you SmoothCollins, you pointed out something very good!

I know this all is hard to cope with.

- First we had Michael alive, with all the rumours, the tabloids, the slander. But also the magic. Pure magic.
- Then Michael died. We had conspiracy theories. Fans siding into different sides as well. Frustration, grief, loss, pain - a lot of pain.
- Now 'we' have moved to a new era. But, for all of us, all the previous things haven't really been dealt with.

- We still want that magic. The love. The amazement. The greatest person. Even the tabloids and crazy stories, because that was all part of the 'mystery' of Michael Jackson. We had him.
- We still want answers. We want to grief. To cry, to feel our own feelings. To make the wounds a bit less soar.

'We' are pushed into that new era. Not by Michael. But by how the world rolls, thrives. With money. Feelings are pushed away, walked over. Just because there is one thing that is the most important of all.

And I honestly think, that all of this and a lot more, is driving us crazy.

All I can say is. I'm honestly not ready yet. I'm not ready to run to the store, see all the advertisements and promotion.
The times I've seen it (and I've also been aroud for some time), Michael was there.

Now. We have nothing.
 
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I like your rules of dialogue Sas :flowers: thanks for posting that.

Sil!! :) Good to see you in here :D .

I really appreciate everyone who's posted here. It's given me a lot of comfort and hope knowing that people feel how I do and are just like the MJ fans I always knew :).

Keep the words of wisdom flowin' :flowers:
 
I just came across a quote that reminded me of what MJ fans are going through right now:

"The pessimist complains about the wind; the optimist believes it will change; ah, but the realist adjusts the sail." -Unknown

Someone in this thread explained how we've entered into a new era- an era that we didn't see coming, and one that we were unprepared to deal with.

In the quote, I don't think it's saying we need to choose whether to be an optimist, and pessimist, or a realist... but that if we're in a situation where outside forces are bearing us to a destination we don't want to go, fighting it or ignoring it isn't going to get the results we want.

To get to where we want to be, we need to accept that things are different and adjust our response to them so that we're still moving forward :flowers: .

Individually, that might mean something unique for each of us that we need to do. As a group, it seems like empathy and understanding are how we need to adjust our sails for what's being thrown at us right now.
 
SmoothCollins said:
I just came across a quote that reminded me of what MJ fans are going through right now:

"The pessimist complains about the wind; the optimist believes it will change; ah, but the realist adjusts the sail." -Unknown

Someone in this thread explained how we've entered into a new era- an era that we didn't see coming, and one that we were unprepared to deal with.

In the quote, I don't think it's saying we need to choose whether to be an optimist, and pessimist, or a realist... but that if we're in a situation where outside forces are bearing us to a destination we don't want to go, fighting it or ignoring it isn't going to get the results we want.

To get to where we want to be, we need to accept that things are different and adjust our response to them so that we're still moving forward :flowers: .

Individually, that might mean something unique for each of us that we need to do. As a group, it seems like empathy and understanding are how we need to adjust our sails for what's being thrown at us right now.
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Yes exactly.

People tend to point fingers at eachother over here.
You are from that side! I hate that! Or, you think about it that way, I will snap at you! Or even, you feel the way you feel, you can't do that!

It's just a matter of how open-minded people are at eachother. We should only look at oneself, look at how we were yesterday, the day before, a month ago, a year ago, 10 years ago. Never look at somebody else.
All doing is good, as long as you stay respectfull and say things without violence. And that's, sadly, not happening.

The only important is how you feel yourself.
Are you overwhelmed? Be overwhelmed, don't get pushed away by others.

But just don't get all defensive, it's no use.

I think people show themselves from sides they normally won't do. But that is their reaction toward everything going on, for as long as their 'fan-being' stands.

This STILL are rough times. But no need to start a war amongst eachother.
We should cross arms, collaborate, stand strong and be there for what MJ would've wanted. :)

Be his army of L.O.V.E. Not his army of hate amongst eachother.
 
:flowers: ^^

"Empathy: the power of understanding and imaginatively entering into another person's feelings. Empathy develops the ability to have compassion towards other beings." - (dictionary.com and wikipedia.com)
 
Okay I feel silly bumping my own post lol... sorry O:) I promise it's not for vanity or anything :p . I'm just hoping more people read it and have it in the back of their mind when they post.

Feel free to help me bump it! :D :p
 
SmoothCollins said:
Okay I feel silly bumping my own post lol... sorry O:) I promise it's not for vanity or anything :p . I'm just hoping more people read it and have it in the back of their mind when they post.

Feel free to help me bump it! :D :p
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Thank you so much for starting and bumping this thread. I feel all of us, including myself, need to come to this thread and rethink before posting.

Just my observation, I feel people are overly protective (for the lack of better word) about the new album. If someone has unfavorable thing to say about the new album, it's almost considered as blasphemy. The post will sometimes be ridiculed.

I understand that the new album is highly anticipated. We were or still are excited about it. Thus far, two songs are released. One is received mostly negatively. One is received positively. Yet, it's getting quite difficult to openly discuss our different opinions.

I remember there is a thread in this forum in which people discussed MJ's "worst" classic. To be honest, I had a "huh? WTF!" moment when reading posts in that thread. Some memebers said they dislike Beat It, Bad, I Just Can't Stop Loving You, Will You Be There... I was shocked. How can a MJ fan dislike Beat It? Yet, I guess music taste is subjective. I get to respect other's opinions. People also openly discussed how they don't like the Bani photo shots. My point is that not every single song or MJ releated product will be received favorably by fans. There is nothing wrong. I just don't see that as negative energy.

Something to think about!

BTW, the eyes in your siggy are indeed beautiful. Michael was a beautiful man. His beauty shined from within. His eyes were window to his soul. That's why his eyes were his most beautiful feature.
 
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