This is killing me! It's been more than a month and I still sometimes wonder if I am having a very long nitemare that I can't wake up from. I wish it was that way, so I could wake up to find out that he was still alive. Yesterday my husband and I went to a wedding, and I requested "Billie Jean". The DJ played other songs of Michael, including "Thriller", but he never played "Billie Jean". I was upset and I don't think I would have gotten so upset if Michael was still alive. I don't just like Michael Jackson because of "Billie Jean", but that's my favorite song because I like to dance to it. So I'm not trying to go on about the song of "Billie Jean", but my point is I got upset even though he played other songs by Michael Jackson and a couple from the Jackson 5, I wanted as much of Michael as I could get and "Billie Jean" would have been one more song by Michael that I could have heard. I still cry because he's gone. Why him? I always ask that question. I guess the song from Billy Joel comes to mind-"Only the Good Die Young". It doesn't answer my question though. Mother Teresa was a good saintly person too but she didn't die young. Why couldn't Michael have ALMOST died then they revived him and he was eventually back to good health because he would have been determined to get off the drugs? Why couldn't it have happened like that? I have always liked Michael Jackson, but at the same time, I am guilty of sometimes not appreciating him until it was too late. I say sometimes because I've watched anything that was of Michael on TV if I knew it was on. I would watch the Jackson 30th anniversary on youtube often(which I still do)/ I knew he was innocent of those sick allegations against him. At the same time, sometimes I didn't keep up with what was going on with him like I wish I did. I knew he was a good humanitarian, that he cared for all and helped as many people as possible. So I struggle with a little bit of guilt of not keeping up with what was going on with him, but I know if I knew something was going on with him, I'd find out what it was. When I first heard of his passing, I didn't realize he had passed. All I heard was that he was taken to the hospital and I said to my husband that I hoped he was alright. Then I heard he had no pulse or a weak pulse, I forgot now. Then I asked my husband if he was dead. My husband said yes. Needless to say it didn't sink in until the next day as I'm sure it took all of us a while.
I could go on, but I will stop here. It is indeed a very sad time for us MJ fans.
RIP Michael. I love you.
