*hugs*.. You're a good person for considering this, but the excitement is part of being a normal human being. The hype was big.. It's the behavior of those who doubted he'll be able to do 50 shows that was disturbing, as it forebode evil, in a way, and the behavior of those complaining and threatening to quit their fandom and create petitions when Michael postponed two shows. .. And of those that wanted him to perform the way they want him to, wherever they want him to, and of those that called him lazy and a has-been that's doing nothing but go to Klein's offices and all that was awful ....
At that time, although panicky at times with the whole 50 shows issue, I, for one, almost erased it from my mind; really strange and ugly feeling, like I wanted to feel indifferent about them or sth. The strangest was that some couldn't tell whether Michael was well, happy and all, or not quiet about all this. There was that frantic outburst of lawsuits and a really tight atmosphere going on, the firing of all those managers, companies fighting for Jackson, suing him, suing themselves, everyone wanting a piece of him, the tabloids were wild, too, and when Ortega, for instance, and Karen Faye or someone else would be posting stuff on their Twitter, like "Oh, he is so happy", "Oh, he was amazing", 'can't wait to go to London'... don't know, let's just say a lot of conflicting thoughts and emotions got out.. That's making one say, "Oh, if they're saying that, then yay, bring it on'. ...
Gosh, when he made the press conference, I was a wreck, just broke down crying... I won't really get into this, will just say that Michael was very nervous to me and some others, when he made the announcement and seemed even pissed off in a way that he had to be there, esp when he got out of the car, Thome being behind him. .. I recall one member from here, also, who felt that uneasy and had a really strange reaction about the conference, that that was her last post here... at least so far. ... Won't ever forget that horrid day. Things looked brighter a bit the next day when he was to see 'Oliver', even though Thome Thome, one of the shadiest people ever (that seems to have evaporated since June 25) was all up on his back like a hound dog... I don't know, though Michael wanted in his heart to return to the stage and was strong up until his very last breath for his children esp, - for that's who he was, one can't deny the s***** contexts he was finding himself in, snakes left and right, being pressured by all sides... and one ultimately cutting his life full of plans and.. youth even, short. .... It's like, all those strange events and contexts led to that horrid June 25 day that didn't have to happen.......