im not acting like that ok i just think 4 months have been to much
Hello Maria,
First off I want to tell you that I am in no way shape or form attacking you with what I am about to say. I know EXACTLY where you are coming from, and EXACTLY how you feel. I have been where you are at. I know EXACTLY what it is like to have someone you know is responsible for the death of someone you love very much walk around free, while that person you love lies in a cemetery.
I have told this story before in another post, but after reading what you posted here, it warranted repeating......
When I was 16 years old a life long very good friend of mine was murdered. When he died there were over a half dozen of his "friends" there that saw the whole thing. We all knew who did it, the police even knew who did it. But, none of the witnesses would come forward. Not one.
I was enraged when my friend was killed, and even more so that no one would come forward. For years I asked how could they call themselves his friend, and not tell the cops what they saw that night.
And now here it is 18 years later and the person who murdered my friend has never been charged with it. And I have come to the realization that he probably never will.
As I got older I began to realize where the people that did not come forward were coming from, and was actually able to put myself in their shoes. You see, my friend was not the first person this man killed, nor was he the last. And this person who killed my friend was very bold, and didn't care. If he thought someone was going to talk, he would not only take you out, but your family as well. And when I finally came to that realization it was when I was at peace with why they didn't come forward (one was going to, and the killer snuck in his house in the middle of the night, woke him and told him if he talked to the cops about my friend's death the next time he'd go in his little brother's room first if you know what I mean-and this was not a bluff he would have).
Now, I am not saying here that Murray won't be charged and go to jail. No I am not. But here's the thing....
This person who killed my friend, well a few years ago he was arrested, tried, convicted and sentenced to about 25 years in prison (no chance of parole). This was on a totally different charge-bank robbery. I was there, with my friends and my murdered friends parents that day as he was sentenced. And while yes, when the sentence came down we were so happy that he would probably never be a free man again given his age and health, but once I got home that day, well that good feeling wore off and I felt the same as I did before. And it wasn't because he wasn't going to jail for my friend's murder but something else that I was not happy, that was not it at all.
No matter how much jail time this man got, it wasn't going to bring my friend back. It wasn't going to fill the void that was left at every holiday, every major milestone in my life that he wasn't there for, etc. And at the end of the day, the loss of my friend and learning to deal with that is what I have to work on. Not whether or not his murderer was ever brought to justice or not.
It took me many many years to come to that one. And I have to say, once I did, I felt almost like I did before my friend died. No, I was not a sad depressed person all that time since my friend died. I went out, lived life, had a good time, fell in love all of that. And I did that because that is what he'd want me to do, and because he could not anymore. But I guess once I came to terms with the true reason for the sadness I was still feeling all those years was, I was at peace.
Trust me Maria, this, unlike my friends case, will be prosecuted and there will be a conviction. The whole world is watching this one. That is why it's taking a while for Murray to get arrested. They really have to make sure they cross all their T's and dot their I's before handing down an indictment. If they rush just because we fans want them to, then I can guarantee that he will be found innocent. Guarantee it. Keep in mind that he probably already has attained a lawyer that is top notch and they are already working on ways to get out of this. So trust me, that is what the delay is, and to be honest, I am glad that it is taking this long because it tell me the police care and are doing their jobs. You want that. You don't want them to rush it. I already told you what will happen for sure without a shadow of a doubt if they do rush it.
What you need to do is to not dwell on "Justice" or "revenge" and take care of yourself. Take the time out to mourn Michael and get back on track with your life. We all need to do that. That is what Michael would want for all of us, you do know that right? To be happy, not sad, smile when you think of him, not cry. Yes this will take a while, believe me I know. But if you start to think of your own pain over his death, not how he died, and start to heal, trust me from experience here-no matter what the outcome-whether he is arrested or not-found guilty or not-does time or not-you will be OK. You have to be, no matter what happens.
If you don't take the time out to do that, trust me on this, after the sentence is handed down, even if it's EXACTLY what you wanted, you will be elated at first, then not so long after you will feel this empty void that is almost as bad as when your first heard that Michael died. That is why you need to address that void now, not later.
This is all being said out of love, not attack mode. I have been where you are in my very own life. I am here with you going through this now.
Oh, and one more thing that made me at peace with the fact that my friend's killer never was charged.....well no judge or jury's sentence can compare with what awaits him when he meets his Maker......and I also know that my friend will be right next to God when that sentence is handed down to him.
And when Murray has his final judgment with his Maker, Michael will be right there next to God to see his sentence too....
Of this I have no doubt..............
