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I feel like i dont' wanna live anymore!

Yes! He gave me the reason to live! Now he is gone! Why should I live now? And I don't do it because I think to my family and friends, I don't want them to feel the way I feel now! If it wasn't them, I was already dead! But if God wants to take me now, I don't care anymore! Maybe I will have the chance to see him there if it was not possible here!
 
MissJohnnyJackson said:
Welcome to the club my friend... :/
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i dont know why but this one made me laugh so hard. i mean really laugh. it's not really laughing though.

i think we need to do what Michael wants us to do - continue to enjoy life. Remember how unwell he was when Princess Diana died? he had a nervous dreakdown. I remember something about that he needed a doctor and he cried for days. But he was able to smile again. and to enjoy life with his children as we should do - with our families.

i feel there is no sense but i'd rather trust God and Michael saying that there should be sense and i should be looking for it
 
Yesterday I said "Suicide is no good" but Today I understand why some people commit suicide.
I don't feel like doing anything
 
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I understand this feeling.

For the second time in my life I thought of hanging myself. The first time was in 1986 when my sister Linda left her body. I just did not want to live in a world without her. I knew she was in a better place and I was miserable and I wanted to be where she was. Michael got me through that. He pushed me back to God whom I had completely abandoned. Having Michael here--a giving soul with a gorgeous glow--made it easier for me to accept not having her--another giving soul with a gorgeous glow. He, in a sense, stood in place of her.

I am realizing now more than ever that I never really healed from the shock of her illness and her decision to leave what was becoming a frail and weak body. I was still having moments of indescribable grief whenever I thought about her and I almost NEVER talked about her. My cousin died early this month and I've been feeling so guilty for not having spoken to her or other family members in a while. I'm coming to realize that I had grown distant from my extended family in many ways after Linda left because of my fear of getting too close. Making another earthly connection to God that is just going to leave me for Him when He calls. Michael was sort of a bandaid for all this. Now that the bandaid has been suddenly ripped off, this twenty-three year old wound is wide open and bleeding freely and I need to address it once and for all.

I won't kill myself. The light in me is so big and bright that a spirit of self-destruction can never stay in me very long. But I understand completely.

When I pull myself together to pray, I pray for Katherine, for the children, but most of all Janet because her spiritual twin is truly in spirit now. I know EXACTLY what that feels like.
 
it's so hard, no words :cry: he gave me the reason to live, too. no matter how hard my life was, Michael always gave the hope and inspiration..... he made me happy just with his existence.
we should unite and to keep walk, to help his name to shine forever, to continue to live how he teached us. he is still alive and watching us from heaven. but it's so hard to be separated right now :cry:
 
I won't kill myself, but last night was tough. Janet really got to me at the BET awards and it really has sunk in this morning. I just can't imagine living with this intense sadness and longing for the rest of my life. I can't get his face out of my head and it's driving me crazy......I know it will get easier, but I will miss him everyday for the rest of my life, and sometimes it seems too hard to bear.....eckk
 
Yep. I feel THE SAME.
I don't have anything to be here for anymore
maybe I should call a helpline..I don't know..I don't even wanna do that..
I don't want them to help.
life is so hard.
 
stineLOVESmichael said:
Yep. I feel THE SAME.
I don't have anything to be here for anymore
maybe I should call a helpline..I don't know..I don't even wanna do that..
I don't want them to help.
life is so hard.
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Do you have any family members or friends that you are close to that you can spend some time with? Don't just sit up alone, okay?
 
I know how you all feel. The last couple of years in my life have been hard and upsetting. It seems to have been one thing after another, after another. In February I found myself wondering what my old hero Michael was up to, I hadn't heard anything in a while. I think I googled his name and that day some news had been announced regarding a press conference the next week. It was like fate. Just when I needed something to pick me up Michael had some news to announce about touring: the whole week after that I was hyper, waiting to hear.

Then the day came, Michael was in London and he was going to do a concert! I got a code, I spent hours and hours trying to get tickets. The process prompted me to join the forum on Michaeljackson.com to see what was happening and a whole world of MJ chat and excitement opened up. I started reading news of MJ every day on this forum too and eventually joined in June so that I could post too.

Things had been so bad at home I really threw myself into speaking to other fans, following what MJ was doing and building anticipation for the concert. It was something to look forward to and to focus on.

Then the worst thing that could ever have happened has happened and I could not have been more devastated. My 'thing to look forward to' was gone, but much worse than that, Michael himself was gone. I felt inconsolable.

Today I do not feel much better: my heart is heavy and I feel teary all the time. Why Michael? I feel so sure that he would not have been content to die and to leave his poor children. I find myself half wanting to believe in god and that he took Michael away to somewhere better and half incredulous: how could there be a god when this has happened to the kindest, most extraordinary man? Nothing makes sense to me anymore and none of my friends understands how I feel. I know that life goes on but to me it feels like it won't ever be as good without Michael.

I hope things start to get better soon for me and for anyone else who feels bleak at this time when their hero has gone.
 
I am so sad right now....but I have to go on living. Just like you do. Please, think about your family before you do anything rash. Talk to them, hug them, cry on their shoulder - talk to a pastor, minister or friends about how you feel. Get it out. But please, don't end your life. You are young, you have so much more to live for...trust me!
 
I FEEL EXACTLY THE SAME! He was my WHOLE life! He was the reason why I woke up everyday! I loved him sooooooo much! You just don't imagine! I was crazy about him!
I'm in so much pain. I'VE NEVER NEVER FELT LIKE THIS IN MY ENTIRE LIFE!!!!
 
xxHouseLovexx said:
I FEEL EXACTLY THE SAME! He was my WHOLE life! He was the reason why I woke up everyday! I loved him sooooooo much! You just don't imagine! I was crazy about him!
I'm in so much pain. I'VE NEVER NEVER FELT LIKE THIS IN MY ENTIRE LIFE!!!!
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his music was his gift to us we still have that remember that it will help if anyone and i do mean it anyone needs a friendly sholder you can email me
 
Michael needs his soldiers to carry on the legacy. Now is the time to be the strongest Michael Jackson fan. He is no longer here to defend himself, so it must be up to us.
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Amem!

I'm so sad for so many reasons (he won't perform in his best concert, he won't see his children growing up...). And I'm not sad just about him. I'm sad about me too, because I just need him to live. He is my escape, even though my life is good most of time. Now I have a fear that other fans won't be here a couple of years from now and I won't be able to find Michael anywhere, because, for me, Michael has always been in fan community. I'm empty and confused right now, but my point is that I have been building another world inside me since I was a child, Michael is that world and I need that to live a good life outside. Can you get me? Now I have to figure out how to keep that world without Michael being around us in the real world. I hope I can do that with your help.
 
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I don't understand you all, why are you saying you've no reason to live anymore, how disrespectful to michael. Michael embraced life like no other human being i've ever known, you've got to continue for his sake, you people on here are his followers and supporters, if you go the legacy of michael will go with you.

We all have to continue, otherwise your childrens children will never know what a special person michael was, and only become known as some weirdo that media has portrayed.
 
today for many reasons is more hard for me than before :( it really got much worse. terrible pain and emptiness overflooding my soul.
i really starting to give up, losing hope, faith, everything....
many things goin' on in my personal life + now this... :no:
i feel like i really can't bear it no more, nor understand: why it happened exactly now???
and what i have to do now?
 
Yeah, i feel the same way too.

I just cant handle it. Till now i just thought its a nightmare, i thought its Michael's joke. I thought he would get up and said " Sorry, i'm just joking". I thought he would do everything like before. Morning, rehears for the show. Night, watchs movie wt the angles...

Then i saw he was laying there, wt the blanket over his head... I cry a lot... I realise thats just my thought, my imaginations, my dream right now... Half of my soul has gone wt him... Then i just dont want to live anymore (i'm not going to suicide, so dont worry), live wt an empty life, a empty soul... So what am i living for???

25-6 : he's gone... its not the end of the world... but its the end of my life......
 
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