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How has Michael dying changed your life?, and how does he fit into your life now?

angelofhope

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Hi I wanted to know how the awful experience of Michael passing away has changed your life? What have you learnt?
I am also wondering how he fits into your life now? Does it feel like two yrs ago and what have you done with your MJ stuff? Have you put it away because you can't look at it or do you keep it out and admire it and remember?
I have a small shrine ontop of my bookcase with framed pics and autograph a buddha and candles which I light periodically. These are the only pics I have out. The only other things I have in my bookcase are MJ books.
How have you changed the way MJ fits into your life?
 
I became a fan only after his death.
Before that I didn't know almost anything about him.. (yeah, that's a shame.. I know.. :()
 
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What have I learnt by loosing MJ? Good question. The good die young I suppose. I miss him so much, I cry everyday. I'm so thankful for being able to see him live in concert twise (the Dangerous & HIStory tours), and I always bought his later work on release day.
 
It has made me realise that life is short, and you have to work towards your dreams, because tomorrow might never come. MJ will always be a part of my life, whether it be through his music, or the lessons he has taught me in life through his work and music.
 
The only things that I had learn after what had happen. Is how to learn to live with depression and how to spend the rest of my life in mourning. It has been over 2 years now since I last felt happy and had a good night's worth of sleep. The only good thing that came out of this I guess is that I have started to believe in God again. But other than that all I want to do anymore is play video and computer games, watch Bollywood movies, and sleep just to help relieve some of the pain missing Michael like beyond crazy. Especially since he is on my mind constantly. And that all the people in my life is all MJ haters who never not even once cared about me and what I have been going through since that horrible June day. :sad: :boohoo:
 
Angela_MJJ said:
@MJsBollywoodGirl7 are you getting any help for this?
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No mainly because my MJ hating mother refuse to get help for me. I can't get it myself since I can't drive and I don't live near public transportation. And my mother is in charge of taking me and making my appointments. Which is something I should have known she will not do for me. Especially since I still remember her coming in to my room 2 days after it had happen. Asking me what I had wanted for supper. When eating was the very last thing I had wanted to do. All I wanted to do was just stay in bed and sleep to try and to forget what happen to Michael. And she had started to make fun of what had happen to Michael. She said she wasn't but that wasn't the way I had taken it. So I had very coldly told her to get out. My mother really does not care about what had happen to Michael. And what it had been like for me since it happen. She thinks I am crazy to be suffering from depression over what happen to him. She had told me several times to get over it or to snapped out of it. And when I told her I can't she had threaten me by telling me well you better get over it. So because of her I am force to hide my depression from her now.
 
MjsBollywoodGirl before i get in to how ive been effected by mj's death im going to give you some advice. i hope this helps. by best advice for you is to NOT let your mother get to you. dont let ANYONE get to you. they are all haters and will never know the love that Michael gave us and the world. as soon as you can get yourself the help you feel you need. even if it takes a couple years to get help dont let them tear you down. people like that take joy in hurting people and it only makes them stronger. if you dont let it get to you then it should stop and they will move on. if you ever need to talk all of us here at mjjc are here for you. when y. ou can get help get it. there is no shame in needing help for something like this. for your own mother to make you feel this way is really sad. if you can talk to her and tell her to please stop then do so. if talking wont help then ingore her and dont let her words get to you. hang in there and dont do anything to hurt youryourself. be strong and if you need to be sad just lock your door turn on some music and be sad. let it all out. come here and talk to us and we will help you. theres many support threads here for fans like you who need someone to talk to. you cal always send me a pm and we can chat also. anytime ok? :)

alright moving on... my life has been greatly affected by mj's passing. i cant watch anything on tv about him or with him in it without crying. i dont listen to his music very often anymore bc i know i will cry. i do have some mj stuff up in my room like some pictures, posters, a i luv mj hat on my shelf, along with 3 mj ordaments that i got for christmas. i still feel the pain of loosing him and i know i will never be fully over his death. its always going to be hard to not think about him and accept his death. i cant imagine how hard it is for his family. i hope to one day get the closure i need to accept his passing.
 
Ever since 25/06/09 I really don't like to be around people anymore. Well I do work with people and I do enjoy what I do, but privatly I became quite introverted. I distrust people, I always question them and I certainly realized that people just will be mean! There will allways be a total retard that will make fun of Michael or even make fun of him passing.

On that terrible day I've lost the major part of my spirits. And maybe I should say that ever since I'm very bad at making a compromise.

Plus I'm never ever quiet when some retard on the internet starts badmouthing Michael. I always do the best I can to contradict them.

And I got myself a tattoo. Knowing that human nature tends to forget certain aspects of life, specially the sad ones, I wanted to make sure how very chocked and desperate I was in the aftermath of Michael's passing.
 
Michael's message already got me when I became a fan. (2002-2003)
There's a difference, I already knew his message before his death and will always carry his message till my death.
Meaning: Making the world one, not by money, but through LOVE. Help each other, don't forget others and give Love, not hate.

After his death I found a lovely girl named Louise.
She's my girlfriend and we have been together for more than 1 year now!

We grief and celebrate his death together.
Oh and I made some wonderful friends like Angela_MJJ and Hocus and many others!

He has always been in my life, always, he is always there, a special place like in many hearts of the fans and I wanna say; We love you Michael and miss you..
 
@ mjlovergurl003: That's soo sweet of you :clap: NOW that the essence of a TRUE fan... Caring from the :heart:

@ mjsBollywoodgirl: I know hun how 'cruel' mums can be... My mum often 'scolds' me TO GET OVER IT TOO but then again... I have the 'luxury' of having a place of my own and whenever she 'scolds' like that... I just 'get up and leave' ... Simple as that... Its hard at first as she's your mum hey but that doesn't give her the right to hurt you, does it??? If you IGNORE the one that hurts you, they just STOP, you know... Its the same with teasing, if you get angry they tease you even more but if you laugh, they quit...
Like mjlovergurl said... If you NEED a shoulder to cry on... Need a friend to talk to... POP IN here and we'll help you as I-we- know how it feels to be 'misunderstood' and 'pushed around'...

Anyway, how has it affected me?
AH, men... HUGE... I NEVER knew I loved Michael that much and he was such a BIG part of my life as I had a job, friends other hobbies and stuff and NOW my LOVE for Michael is even stronger than before... I exactly LIVE and BREATH in my Michael room... I DARE more to dream now and I'm more eager to fullfill my dreams as I know "Here one day, gone one night" :(
I'm ever so PROUD of Michael always have been and always will...
 
After Michael's passing, my whole world shattered. I made it my goal to one day meet him in person and didn't get the chance to. I was so devistated when he left the world. Now he's my entire inspiration for everything. I'll always keep him in my memory with everything I do. And his inspiration will be what drives me to be successful even more.
 
Since Michael died, my life is nearly neutral, very miserable and great days, but still I felt like a miserable person, because I can't go to Anime North and even the Immortal Tour this year thanks to my mom, but there's no way I'm going to an Immortal Tour in Montreal, due to personal reasons. The whole Montreal thing had been demonizing me from since January until the Boston Bruins eliminated the Canadiens and later the Bruins won the Cup makes me happy. Still my drawings are 100% inspiration from Michael.
 
It's not that my life has changed so much, it's more or less the same. I started thinking back and realized Michael is part of most of my memories. You know how you remember certain holidays because of the summer hit that year? Well that's what I have with Michael because I have been a fan all my life. He was part of my birthdays, getting cd's as presents. He was part of redecorating my room, had to have my Michael posters back on the wall. He was part of high school parties, had to dance to Billie Jean and hope to get asked by a boy I had a crush on, to dance on You are not alone.

As much as my life hasn't really changed, I have changed. I've always hated wrong doing. I hate kids who bullied at school and I stood up for the bullied kids. And that didn't make me very popular. But now, it's even more then before. I think it's also because of all the hate we as fans get to endure somehow.

@ mjsBollywoodgirl, I hope you are doing well. please now you always have a place to talk here on MJJC!
 
I :heart: this thread and I'm glad its still active as I might have 'healed' my grief now but that doesn't mean I don't cry anymore so...
I live more "aware" too like 'here one day gone one night' and I'm more 'intrigued' in leaving behind my HIStory thats why I'm 'writing' my BIO now... NOT as a closure but just as part of my HIStory as a MJ fan blessed by Michaels L.O.V.E
Indeed, Michael gave me a 2nd chance in life... That is my mission now... to care for Family, friends and just spreading my 'talent'...
I always have in mind that Michael 'sacrified' his life for us...:( To make us more aware of what life is all about... L.O.V.E
 
What have I learned... Life's not fair, perhaps. Bad things happen to good people. And you don't know what you have until it's gone. It doesn't feel like two years at all. Time has kind of just melded together for me.

I'm glad for those that have been inspired to achieve greater things; I believe that's what he would have wanted. Unfortunately for me, it's had the opposite effect. I don't feel much motivation at all.

Initially I displayed my MJ collection out where I could admire it, and added to it quite a bit in 2009 and into 2010. It brought me comfort, but, I hate to admit, over the last few months I've been feeling sad when I look at my MJ collection.
 
Siyahamba said:
Initially I displayed my MJ collection out where I could admire it, and added to it quite a bit in 2009 and into 2010. It brought me comfort, but, I hate to admit, over the last few months I've been feeling sad when I look at my MJ collection.
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I know what you mean about your MJ collection. About a week or so ago. I finally did one thing that I thought I would never ever do. And that is I stuck part of my MJ collection that I had lying out in to a big green container. And OMG did it ever hurt when I did that. After I did that I just sat down and cry. I used to so L.O.V.E. to look at my MJ collection and be proud of of what I have. Now it just hurts looking at it. My bedroom which is practically a shrine to Michael. Which it has been for years. Now it just makes me really sad looking at my walls all cover with pictures and posters of Michael. Especially my framed This Is It poster. Every single time I see that poster I just can't help but to think what could of been. Maybe I should take all of my MJ posters and pictures down. But that is just something I really can't stand even the slightest thought of doing. So because of that I really don't like staying in my room no more than I need to be. And when we still had him I used to so L.O.V.E. to spend the entire day in my MJ room and be on my computer. And just look at my MJ pictures and posters and just think about and wonder what he could be doing right now. Especially with his children. Now I can't do that anymore. :sad: :boohoo:
 
Well, I only learned one thing after his passing: Good people die young. I don't know how I view him in my life now because I discovered him after his passing and that's one thing I regret about my life right now but I can't do anything about it. I was born in 1990 and throughout my childhood, no one in my family mentioned him that much. I always knew he was a kind, innocent and caring man! My MJ collection isn't much but I do look and listen to it sometimes or usually every day. Good thing about my life now is that I don't cry much anymore like I used to when I first heard the shocking news!! Only how I view him in my life now is that Michael is/will always be here with us and I care more for other people and want to help whoever needs help. He left everything behind he did thoughout his life for us because it shows how much he loves us and we fans love him.
 
His passing has only hightened my already established beliefs & the way I conduct myself. I will ALWAYS have time for Michael and the most common way for me is listening to his songs whenever I drive :)
 
After Michael's passing my life changed completely and how I view life altogether. I've been a fan since I was a kid, so for me it really hit hard. I try and do things I want to more which is my music. And that's because of Michael :)

I've got all my Michael stuff near by. I don't look at them often because it still hurts.

I've always got time for Michael :) I have him everywhere :D
 
I was born the same year as Michael, growing up I became a fan from the 1st time he and his brothers exploded onto the scene with their first national TV appearances. To this day those early recordings still sound so fresh, that is because the talent was so spectacular. Then to see Michael transform from the little Michael Jackson we all knew to the young man he became and to see that the best was still yet to come was simply amazing. The day that I heard the first reports of him being rushed to the hospital was a black day for sure in my household, and of course it got blacker et when the tragic news of his passing came. I felt as though I had lost a very good friend as we all did. It didn;t seem possible and still doesn't. what an absolute tragedy. Thank yu michael for all of the wonderful music and memories that you have left us with
 
Losing Michael was indeed a mortality wake up call, it was the loss that I never imagined experiencing, being the same age as Michael I have been enjoying his music almost for my whole life. And now I have had the joy of sharing my collection with my little ones who have grown to be huge MJ fans and i have learned to make it the first priority to savor this life so fleeting
 
Well, Michaels' passing has changed my live completely! Before that I did know nothing about him, but that he was a singer... :( I know it's a shame..
but when I first heard billie jean in the radio after his passing I instantly felt in love with his music :) and after a while I started to deal with him and his character and I also felt in love with Michael as a person :wub:
and i started to realize what a big loss his passing was to mankind ..
 
Right now... I'm BACK... STRONGER THAN EVER... I never thought I'd seen this day... that means that 'giving up' is NOT an option if you want to succeed...

I'm PROUD of showing the world I :heart: Michael...
Michael's music is my daily 'rush'... My cup of coffee in the morning...
I love to hear his music 'booming' in my earphones when I'm out... Makes me feel SAVE and GROUNDED...
Michael is my 'energy'... my ROCK... as L.O.V.E does live FOREVER...

I'm so proud to be HERE and to own MJJC Blog, a DREAM come true...
Thanks Michael :wub:
Thanks MJJC :love:
 
I can tell you one thing. My depression over him has worsen. I realize that ever since I had heard the verdict was read. And reading how all of these fans has said justice has been served. That to me was not justice. I don't understand how 4 years and only serving half of that is consider justice. What that monster should have gotten was death by Lethal Injection. That what that monster should have gotten. I can't even begin to tell just how miserable and empty I feel without having Michael to listen to and to watch like I used to anymore. Only because I can't handle it anymore. Especially watching him. The second I see one video image of him. I am like in instant tears. This past January 4th I had turn 32. And a day after that I was suppose to go out to eat and do some shopping with my mother and her husband. Well that morning I was watching tv and was going to go get myself ready. Was when I saw a commercial for what Access Hollywood was going to be about that night. The second I had saw a video image of Michael. It really put me off of wanting to go anywhere that day. And I had spent most of that day at home crying on and off over him. And it has gotten to a point for me that I no longer consider myself the MJ fan that I used to be. When we still had him I was a true hardcore fan of his. He was my absolute obsession since the HIStory Era. Now I sometimes regret that I ever became a fan of his in the first place. I am 32 and I have been a fan of his since practically the early 80s. So for me to regret of becoming a fan of his. Is something I had never thought I will ever say. My mother has even told me how she wants the old me back. The old me was a lot more happier and nicer. Well we still had Michael when I was like that. The only way the old me would return is if someone would kill me. That way I can be where Michael is now. I am the complete opposite of how I used to be. And I can't even begin tell you just how much I hate being nasty and miserable anymore. And not just that I still have thoughts of wanting to get murderous revenge on the monster that did this to me. And this is so totally not me. I haven't been in a right state of mine since before it even happen. And what really cause it was being continuously plague by these horrific vivid nightmares about Michael all through that first summer and in to the fall without him. Most certainly didn't help at all. Especially since I am still haunted by some of them. And I had never had nightmares that were that bad in my entire life.:sad: :boohoo:
 
Ashtanga said:
I do not know how to answer that. I never know how to answer. This is a very painful. It's just what I can tell. :cry:
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I understand Ashtanga :hug: I find it very hard to express myself, what is different, how I feel inside. Its just so painful is all I know to say. I guess I just keep doing what ive always done before when it concerns Michael and the fans but with a lot less joy :cry:
 
It has been pure darkness and emptiness. Lost my drive to do anything worthwhile. Michael's gone so there's like no where to go and no one worth meeting. Comparing every guy and new celebs to MJ almost everytime only to depress myself further to conclude that there will never be another Michael Jackson and it just gets darker.

Michael was one of the biggest distractions in my life. When he was here everything was okay although things may have been going downward in the world I couldn't see it that is until Michael died and reality just hit me smack in the face and now Im beginning to realize how dark this world really is and it gets overwhelming at times because thats all there is now.

Michael is/was a security blanket Ive lost forever or until the next world.
 
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