Latest on MJJC

How do you feel?

GinnyJackson

Proud Member
Joined
Jul 25, 2011
Messages
4,626
Points
0
Location
Earth
Tomorrow will be the 1 month mark of his death. I was just wondering how some of you are feeling now.

I feel sick... I have said how i felt through out the board but tonight is different. Tonight leads to tomorrow and then remembering what happened and remembering who did it and feeling crushed all over again. I hate how i feel. I shouldn't feel this way for a few reasons. Michael Shouldn't be dead, He should be here with us doing what he loved to do. Michael should be here. If i could go back in time to Michael's side i would and i would change the outcome. I come here needing support because deep down i am still a mess. I still miss him SO much. Words cant come close to describing it. My heart still hurts for him, for his family, for his Children! It makes me so mad to think that this was done to him. I want to scream. He wasn't ready. This wasn't his time to die. he had so much he wanted to do before that and he never got the chance to do it.

I want to be happy again i want to enjoy his music without crying and stopping it. I want to watch his concerts without leaving the room four or five times before it even starts. I love him and his music i want to enjoy it the way i used to. Threads here even are not the same. I feel strange in a few of them. Its odd and i don't like it. This is my true and honest feelings. I dont want to be seen as a nut because i shared them with you. I want to be able to consider all of you friends regardless of the rift we had or the fights we had. I want this community to act the way Michael would want us to act. Loving towards each other.

Depression makes me look mad at the world. When really im only mad at a few people in it.
 
Sick...a deep sense of loss. I'm tired of putting on a front because friends and family don't understand. Tired of smiling and laughing when I really want to cry. I walk around all day with a knot in the pit of my stomach. I feel like I need to escape, go some place serene so I can deal with this myself but I can't because circumstances don't allow me to...so instead I'm in constant prayer, constant communication with God...trying to rely on my faith to find some sense of peace...sometimes I have it, and then it hits again like a ton of bricks...honestly haven't felt this way since losing my grandmother...I can only associate it with the huge impact they both had on my life...so what do you do...I just continue to pray without ceasing... this is in no way intended to throw my faith or beliefs onto someone else so I hope you all understand... Psalms 34:18-19 says : The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. A righteous man may have many troubles, but the LORD delivers him from them all...I know eventually God will grant peace to my spirit, but I think I will always feel a void...
 
It's been a month and I'm very sad. Sorry to make this short. I too pray for Michael's soul and for consolation for his family and especially his children. Today is a very sad day. :( :(
 
I feel horrible.. the pain gets stronger every day.

I feel all these things:

:cry:

:angel:

:puke:

:bad:

:unsure:

:nooo:

:angry:

:mat:

:tickingtimebomb

:stretcher

:ranting

:tonofbricks
 
Last edited:
MJstarlight said:
I feel horrible.. the pain gets stronger every day.

I feel all these things:

:cry:

:angel:

:puke:

:bad:

:unsure:

:nooo:

:angry:

:mat:

:tickingtimebomb

:stretcher

:ranting

:tonofbricks
Click to expand...


Where are the icons when we just make a post not quoting anyone? Where can I find those? Thank you.
 
I found the icons . I had to click something else. However I wanted to find the noo icon and I'm unable to, so I'm going to add to how I'm feeling today:


NOOOOOOOOO!!!!
 
I'm still confused. The icon isn't in the post. Sorry to be off topic. I'll just post and forget about the icons.
 
sick
confused
angry
heartbroken
empty
in pain
sad

that pretty much sums it up.
 
It feels like it happened a week ago.
I can't think about it, I try to go on not thinking about the reality. It's just too horrible especially now that it's almost likely that he was killed.
I would give everything that I have to get Michael back.
 
I am feeling really sad and depressed. Because I miss my dearly belove Michael terribly. And that I want him back just as much. But I am also feeling very tired. Because of these vivid MJ dreams of mine. I just woke up from having 2 in a row. I just don't understand why I keep having them.
 
^

its because of how much you love him and miss him.
I have them too.
 
I feel bad ,sick and want to die T^T
Michael Shouldn't be dead I want to meet him so much
 
I still feel the same.. lately I've been buying a lot of MJ stuff. I just feel so empty still. I had a few dreams related to him already including one last night.
 
I'm still really sad about it,I still cry when I stop and think about it. I miss him so much, then it doesn't help that it feels like no one cares around me. It's like a piece of me is missing and while everyone is going on with their lives around me, something's still missing and I can't find it. Then I get angry with almost everyone in my family who feels they need to put him down in front of me. It's mainly my extended familyl who do it and it pisses me off. Other than that, it still doesn't feel like it happened that long ago. Sometimes I wish he'd really come back
 
I'm depressed too. I want to dream about him everynight and hope he can see that I'm missing him so much. I get emotional and cry when I'm listening to his music and watching the videos of him. I want to escape from reality to a place where I can find peace, the spirit and the energy of Mike. I dont mind my sadness will last forever, as long as I love and remember him always!
 
Ya know... Even tho Michael's body is dead. I still feel that his spirit is alive. So I really don't see him as dead. I still feel him in my heart. I feel he is alive with his music he left us. He is with God in a closer more intimate way. I am sad that he is not physically here, but I think I want to carry on his legacy, by learning how he lived his life, how he coped with his enemies, and how he continued to love.
 
I had a dream, 2 nights ago, it was odd. It concerned Michaels body and people were preparing it for burial or something like that. I was part of the whole thing that was happening and I felt panicked the whole time, in the dream I was not convinced that Michael was dead and when I woke up I was very much convinced he wasn't. Has anyone else had anything similar happen or any feelings like this? In answer to your question I feel rather scared.............rather sceptical..........I think maybe it is part of the grieving process.

Sue H
 
Heartbroken
Upset
Lonely
Overwhelmed
Aching
Confused
Sad
Regret
Exhausted
Pining
Emotional
In love

I'm married, have been for 10 years now although I've felt repelled and unhappy with my marriage for most of those years. I often question myself did I do the right thing. I don't love my husband anymore, haven't loved him in years. I find it hard to tell him I love him because I'm lying to myself if I do. As crazy as it sounds I love Michael, I cannot stop thinking about him. My heart is all for him and I don't know what to do. I feel like I'm lost in a different world while the real world is rapidly moving around me and doesn't understand nor care about what I'm feeling.
 
Let me tell you how do I feel...horribly bad....
it's now when I'm starting to discover him more deeply,his phylosofy,and also his music; Im just 20 so I wasnt born when he published his firstt albums, but at home, we have always respected him,recognised his talent,and never believed those accusations, I ve always loved his style, his dancing style, his style of music, and I knew he was innocent.

-But still I feel sorry because its know,after he has past away when I'm a REAL fan..now I cant live without his music-.........RIP MJ HE WAS SO GREAT..
 
Darvon1982 said:
Ya know... Even tho Michael's body is dead. I still feel that his spirit is alive. So I really don't see him as dead. I still feel him in my heart. I feel he is alive with his music he left us. He is with God in a closer more intimate way. I am sad that he is not physically here, but I think I want to carry on his legacy, by learning how he lived his life, how he coped with his enemies, and how he continued to love.
Click to expand...

That's pretty much how I feel also :yes:
 
Still feeling the same and it's been over a month now. I'm in love with Michael and crying every day. The more I hear he was taking medication the more I cry and love him. I wish I was there. I wish I could go back 10 or 20 years and make his life a bit more happier. I'd reach out to him and I won't stop reaching until he takes hold of my hand and then we can work out the rest as we go along.
 
sad, lonely, empty, confused, having around me people i don't like, tired, old, loving too much, dreaming, insane, loosing too much, cold inside, depressed, hating that i have to hide the way i feel, missing mike, loving my kid, wishing i could smile yet smiles seem to fly away everytime i think i caught one, wishing i could get lost in a place that no one i hate finds me ..etc.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top