I can't put my feelings in 10 words.
Everytime I hear that the doctor found him warm and with a pulse, I start thinking that his death didn't have to happen and that it could have been prevented if someone would have either taken him to the doctor the night before when he complained about feeling bad OR called 911 as soon as they found him. 911 would have been there at least 30 minutes sooner or how ever long it was that the "doctor" waited before calling 911.
I don't want to hear that Michael died from a drug overdose. I don't want to hear that he was a drug abuser. I don't like what the media is doing to him even after his death. My heart wants to believe that he died from the stress of trying to make his comeback and it was just too much for him.
Reality is setting in that I don't live in a world that includes Michael Jackson and I don't like the world anymore. Michael has been in my world since I was born, now he is gone. I hate the music (especially Lil Wayne!), I hate rap, I hate hip hop, I just hate it all! And I am angry with Joe Jackson for so many reasons!
I cry at least 3 or 5 times a day. I have never ever been suicidal, but I can honestly say that I kind of feel I can see why some people take their lives. My heart is going through a serious readjustment right now. I used to think sometimes that I might be just a crazed fan. BUT NOW I KNOW THAT I TRULY LOVED MICHAEL JACKSON because for the 3rd time in my life (my Dad and my Aunt Sweet were the first and second) I have lost a loved one. Michael was my loved one.
I know that there are people here who don't believe in God, heaven and the bible. I know that there are people here who have other faiths or no faith. But right now, I don't care what anyone thinks. I KNOW WITH ALL OF MY HEART THAT AS SOON AS MICHAEL BREATHED HIS LAST BREATH, HE WAS STANDING IN FRONT OF ALL MIGHTY GOD! I know that he has ultimate peace for the first time in his life and no one can hurt him anymore. I know that he is happy. I know that he is singing to God with his beautiful vocal gift that God gave to him and that God is enjoying every minute of it. I know this. And this is what makes me happy.
Michael may have left me here. But one day I will die and go to heaven to my Lord and Savior. And you know what? I will see my Dad again. I will see my Aunt Sweet again. AND I WILL SEE MICHAEL AGAIN!
