You are not alone.
I suffered from total burn-out last year, right before I lost my job, that was killing me. Then I suffered another burn-out in february/march this year because of a course I had to take and I hated it and started to fall into depression. I went to see a couple of doctors and councellers but talking to a total stranger is hard. I couldn't trust them and I couldn't tell them much. They didn't take me seriously. It was like "you're a young woman, surely you can do something to help yourself" but when your selfesteem, your selftrust is gone you can't do anything. Since may I have been out of work and school and I just don't know what to do. I'm afraid of the next step. I feel like every decision I've ever made was the wrong one. Now I don't want to do anything.
Needless to say what happened to Michael just made this worse. I lived for Michael, and I lived for the day when I was gonna see him in London. I know that seeing him would have given me the strenght to start a new chapter in my life.
I want to find a job or go to school but weeks just go by and I can't bring myself to apply for a job. I hate myself so much.
I have wondered what is the purpose of my life? I have nothing but my mom and my dogs. If this miserable life of mine won't change in the next 5-10 years I don't think I want to live it ....
