Are you at peace with yourself? Do u love yourself? Do u like/dislike the reflection in the mirror?

[Staffordshire Bullterrier]

On a more serious note for now, i personally am not at peace with myself on a few things. I am far from anti-social or however you wanna call it, and i wouldn't mind meeting nice ladies in my life, maybe finding a girlfriend again. But at the same time it's like i lost my 'ability' to even try to make those simple things work. For some reason i just don't sign up to a dating site, which is kinda stupid..cause what bad could it do?

It's probably because i believe in that meeting that 'special' someone can be anywhere, which definitely is true. But i gotta be honest, i have no freaking clue what to say to a girl that i might like. Thats exactly the reason why i suck and fail at asking a girl out on a date, and then i resort to writing a note or calling. I don't know what it is but it is starting to become a problem for me. It definitely has to do with my shitty self confidence, i was under the impression at first that this was gone, but its actually still there. For example when i walk outside with my dog, and i see a friendly looking girl looking at me, smiling...why the hell do i put my head to the ground and not smile back or even simply greet her? It's almost like the very simple and nice things in life are going away, but i am to blame..cause i do it myself, i just dont know why. Lol.


People sometimes talk about how they care about themselves, how they love themselves, i don't..i see myself as a friendly,down to earth and normal person but i don't love myself. When i see myself in the reflection of the mirror or shop windows, i simply really dislike what i'm seeing. Maybe it's not something to worry about...but it can't be normal. Its not like i'm unhappy in life though,...yeah dissapointed in humanity in several aspects but not unhappy, neither am i lonely. But i simply don't know what to think of myself. And i believe that is the sole reason why i am so uncertain/unsure about things and myself.

I really can identify with Michael's line from 'On the line'

You see yourself in the mirror
And you don't like what you see
And things aren't getting much clearer
Don't you think it's time you go for a change


I used to be a real cheerful person, lots of smiles and what not, but something changed and i am not like that at all anymore. Its almost like its hard as hell for me to just walk around outside and just enjoy the walk and smile. It definitely has to do with alot of things..things i read about what people do to eachother (to Michael in particular) to animals, starting to seriously dislike the human being species and what its capable of. At the same time i love my parents,brother and close friends. But all these things, i think alot abouot unhappy shit and it makes me more and more sad. Its time to go for a change, but what?

For like 1,3 years almost now i've been living life similar to someone who is reclusive, it's not that i am 100% isolated, but i simply do not go out enough. Last week i went to belgium with my dad and his wife and it was awesome. Lots of time just driving to places and eating and relaxing, walking around in the nature does a person good. So i am definitely gonna change my ways. I'll go walk with my dog more and enjoy going out more. Just make trips to places..anywhere, just for the heck of it, and for not just only sitting at home behind the laptop or a movie, or the Xbox 360.

Long story short though....really disliking what you see in the mirror ain't good, is it? Anyone who can identify with that? This is the only place online that i know of where a good deep conversation can be had, and thats good.

 

[billyworld99]

i kinda of understand where you're coming from next year i'll be 18 and i'm excited but at the same to nervous as heck my mom was always overproteced of me she's was bascially my only friend outside of school i mean when i'm around other people i'm don't have no idea what i can talk to them about well some people i'm comfortable around dependable on their personalites, but yeah that kinda bothered me when i first became a teenager with the shyness and people might think i'm boring and things like that, but next i would like to meet many (good nature) people b/c the ones i did hang out with ended up being jerks, and travelings everywhere to feel like i'm doing something in life

 

[Nirvana]

Im like exactly the same i've done s*** all this summer but the other day i hung out with my mates and went roudn their house, realising it's not hard to socialise at all just be cool and think of things to talk about (that's what i wasn't happy about, being able to easily socialise) im not that confident either which i wanna change

"You are not alone..........bruv"

 

[xo_lola_xo]

I don't know how I can help but from reading your posts around MJJC, you come across as a perfect gentleman.

 

[Nirvana]

I don't know how I can help but from reading your posts around MJJC, you come across as a perfect gentleman.

But do girls want a gentleman ?, probably the ones on here cause they're mj fans and probably quite sensitive people that don't wanna be treated like dirt

But from what i've heard girls would prefere someone a little on the edge, not a good boy who can't stick up for himself (not saying OP cant at all)

 

[xo_lola_xo]

But do girls want a gentleman ?, probably the ones on here cause they're mj fans and probably quite sensitive people that don't wanna be treated like dirt

But from what i've heard girls would prefere someone a little on the edge, not a good boy who can't stick up for himself (not saying OP cant at all)

Gentlemen are honestly rare gems. Girls who do not want them are those who do not respect themselves enough. They have that "he's outta my league" mentality.

I want a real (gentle)man and I'm sure a lot would also say the same.

 

[Nirvana]

Gentlemen are honestly rare gems. Girls who do not want them are those who do not respect themselves enough. They have that "he's outta my league" mentality.

I want a real (gentle)man and I'm sure a lot would also say the same.

That's fair enough but what im saying is be a little exciting and not so uptight because im sure that's what most people want

 

[xo_lola_xo]

That's fair enough but what im saying is be a little exciting and not so uptight because im sure that's what most people want

If exciting is getting into fights and being drunk then no, that's no gentleman.

What do you mean by uptight?

Why are you being what people want? Be what you want. The right girl will love you for that.

 

[Staffordshire Bullterrier]

Im like exactly the same i've done s*** all this summer but the other day i hung out with my mates and went roudn their house, realising it's not hard to socialise at all just be cool and think of things to talk about (that's what i wasn't happy about, being able to easily socialise) im not that confident either which i wanna change

"You are not alone..........bruv"

The thing is though, my real and only friends live far away from me. It's not like they live like 30 minutes away, its more like 1,5 tot 2 hours. And especially when things like concerts or events are being held here, i'd like to hang out wiht those friends..but thats not really possible. Ah well, it is what it is

I got my biggest friend ever, Yoshi, my French Bulldog.

I don't know how I can help but from reading your posts around MJJC, you come across as a perfect gentleman.

Most people that know me say that as well, and most of the time i try to be. But at times its hard..it's hard to not lose faith in humanity when you look at the news these days. The things people are capable of doing to animals for example, i'll just never understand it. And how a incredibly kind hearted human being like Michael has been dragged through so much shit...its hard to understand this world really.

Another friend on MSN, whom i spoke to with, and about this earlier today. He said he can indentify with this as well, and his solution to that is to simply ignore every single worry that you have. Simply don't think about it at all. Put it out of your head...if i worry about finding a nice girl, i shouldn't. I should just life like how i want to live it, and we'll see whats gonna come. And the same with any other negativity in life. I'm surprised he said this cause not so long ago he thought alot about negative things in life and didn't seem happy at all. So he's changing for the better.

 

[xo_lola_xo]

Most people that know me say that as well, and most of the time i try to be. But at times its hard..it's hard to not lose faith in humanity when you look at the news these days. The things people are capable of doing to animals for example, i'll just never understand it. And how a incredibly kind hearted human being like Michael has been dragged through so much shit...its hard to understand this world really.

Another friend on MSN, whom i spoke to with, and about this earlier today. He said he can indentify with this as well, and his solution to that is to simply ignore every single worry that you have. Simply don't think about it at all. Put it out of your head...if i worry about finding a nice girl, i shouldn't. I should just life like how i want to live it, and we'll see whats gonna come. And the same with any other negativity in life. I'm surprised he said this cause not so long ago he thought alot about negative things in life and didn't seem happy at all. So he's changing for the better.

You seem very sensitive. You should go after a sensitive girl if a relationship is what you are after. A girl who has her nose in the books. You know?

 

[Nirvana]

How old are you OP

 

[xo_lola_xo]

Who is OP?

 

[Nirvana]

If exciting is getting into fights and being drunk then no, that's no gentleman.

What do you mean by uptight?

Why are you being what people want? Be what you want. The right girl will love you for that.

No but i mean not being afraid to have a laugh or do things out of the ordinary and not be boring and predictable, decide things on the spot ect

I don't really get into fights or get drunk but if it's the right thing to do their's nothing wrong with it

 

[Nirvana]

Who is OP?

Original poster, but now that i think about it it would be cool if i could know how old you are if you don't mind just roughtly so i know what sort of generation you're from

 

[xo_lola_xo]

No but i mean not being afraid to have a laugh or do things out of the ordinary and not be boring and predictable, decide things on the spot ect

I don't really get into fights or get drunk but if it's the right thing to do their's nothing wrong with it

Getting into a fight or getting drunk isn't the right thing to do. Especially fighting. No gentleman does that unless it's self defence.

If it's about normal things, you'll have to force yourself to try them. However hard they may seem.

To answer your other question, I'm 16.

 

[Nirvana]

You seem very sensitive. You should go after a sensitive girl if a relationship is what you are after. A girl who has her nose in the books. You know?

I thought opposites attract

 

[xthunderx2]

OP..I have read your posts here on the forum and you sound like a confident person...its ok to be yourself around others ...when you find the right girl she will love and appreciate you for who you are. Everyone in this world is different with different qualities....noone is perfect...and the people who walk around looking like they have it all together....usually dont...they are usally unsure of themselves also...they have just learned how to hide it well. I think the older you get the more comfortable a person comes with who they are....its all has to with excepting yourself for who you are. And as far as girls liking their guys to be gentlman.....all girls like to be treated good...some do like that rough tough type guy...but in the end they want that guy ...to treat them like a lady..although the guy may have that rougn exterior....the girl usually loves him to have a sweet interior.....I hope this helped.

 

[xo_lola_xo]

I thought opposites attract

Not from anything I've seen. Maybe at first, pure carnal energy. But it wouldn't be good for a lasting relationship or a marriage.

If he is sensitive, he shouldn't go for an insensitive party girl that will walk all over him. No no.

 

[Nirvana]

Getting into a fight or getting drunk isn't the right thing to do. Especially fighting. No gentleman does that unless it's self defence.

If it's about normal things, you'll have to force yourself to try them. However hard they may seem.

To answer your other question, I'm 16.

Hahaha so am i

Fighting in self defence is right that's what i meant, i dont mean girls like a bad boy that's a bully and thug i just mean someone who's fun and by uptight i mean someone who does exactly what they're told and when they'er told to do it

Do you live in england, if so do you watch big brother

 

[xo_lola_xo]

Hahaha so am i

Fighting in self defence is right that's what i meant, i dont mean girls like a bad boy that's a bully and thug i just mean someone who's fun and by uptight i mean someone who does exactly what they're told and when they'er told to do it

Do you live in england, if so do you watch big brother

I live in the uk and I don't watch it. If you have any other questions, please pm. Let's not invade the thread.

 

[Nirvana]

I live in the uk and I don't watch it. If you have any other questions, please pm. Let's not invade the thread.

It was related to this convo i was gonna say i would have though girls like someone on their who isnt a push over but isnt a nasty person, that's what girls want.......i think

 

[xo_lola_xo]

Assertive but not aggressive. That's a real man.

 

[Nirvana]

Assertive but not aggressive. That's a real man.

After googling assertive yeah i guess i'd agree

 

[Staffordshire Bullterrier]

But do girls want a gentleman ?, probably the ones on here cause they're mj fans and probably quite sensitive people that don't wanna be treated like dirt

But from what i've heard girls would prefere someone a little on the edge, not a good boy who can't stick up for himself (not saying OP cant at all)

When i was a kid, i coudn't really stand up for myself. But because of those things, i have learned to stand up for myself. If there's one thing i hate , its injustice and i go against it in full force. Plenty of times things happened that i didn't agree with, normally i'd just accept it but not anymore, for a long time not anymore. People that i really care about and fully trust, i can let my guard down and accept alot of things, but i know when to put my guard up. Trust me

Gentlemen are honestly rare gems. Girls who do not want them are those who do not respect themselves enough. They have that "he's outta my league" mentality.

I want a real (gentle)man and I'm sure a lot would also say the same.

Exactly, and i hate that kind of nonsense. Out of their leageau...i sure as hell don't want to be in it neither, lol. Those are the arrogant and cocky ones, and i don't want anything to do with them.

That's fair enough but what im saying is be a little exciting and not so uptight because im sure that's what most people want

I used to be like that, i said that earlier. When i was still together with my ex girlfriend, i was very exciting, happy, uplifting and what not. When the relationship was over, and i lost my job cause my boss quit working. Plus i had to move into a house of my own...things changed. And sadly, i've yet to become that happy, exciting and uplifting person again.

You seem very sensitive. You should go after a sensitive girl if a relationship is what you are after. A girl who has her nose in the books. You know?

I definitely agree with you on that, in music..its mostly the sad songs and tragic songs that i apreciate the most. The same with movies and alot of things in life. From what i understand alot of guys are not like that....but we are all different.

What i need is a girl that is similar in that way. If possible a girl that loves animals just as much as me, and really cares for the living in general. One where you can have a great and deep convesation with , but also laugh and have fun with and what not.

How old are you OP

Last thursday, august 12th i turned 28.

No but i mean not being afraid to have a laugh or do things out of the ordinary and not be boring and predictable, decide things on the spot ect

I don't really get into fights or get drunk but if it's the right thing to do their's nothing wrong with it

I wouldn't call myself boring though...and i actually am the kind of person to decide things right on the spot, just do things unexpectedly, surprising people. Thats what i did for my ex girlfriend..and thats what i'll do again.

OP..I have read your posts here on the forum and you sound like a confident person...its ok to be yourself around others ...when you find the right girl she will love and appreciate you for who you are. Everyone in this world is different with different qualities....noone is perfect...and the people who walk around looking like they have it all together....usually dont...they are usally unsure of themselves also...they have just learned how to hide it well. I think the older you get the more comfortable a person comes with who they are....its all has to with excepting yourself for who you are. And as far as girls liking their guys to be gentlman.....all girls like to be treated good...some do like that rough tough type guy...but in the end they want that guy ...to treat them like a lady..although the guy may have that rougn exterior....the girl usually loves him to have a sweet interior.....I hope this helped.

Thanks. It's not even nessecarily the issue of not having a girlfriend at the moment so much. The issue is more that i just don't know what i should feel about myself. I just wonder...the people who say they love themself...can they explain why the say that? A friend recently said it to me, he was having a fight with his girlfriend and he said 'Well, dude..i really love her..and i do alot for her, but i place myself first. I love myself more. And from that moment i've been wondering why people say that.

I'd almost find it goddamn arrogant to say that,lol.

Not from anything I've seen. Maybe at first, pure carnal energy. But it wouldn't be good for a lasting relationship or a marriage.

Exactly, and i see two perfect examples here. My brother and his girlfriend (whom he found on a dating site) in terms of personality and interests, very alike...and they seem like a very good couple. My dad and his wife, both have the same interests, same personality, definitely a perfect fit. I put my life on this that they will remain together till their dying day.

 

[xo_lola_xo]

^ I don't understand why a woman wouldn't want to be with you.

 

[Nirvana]

Yeah you seem like a decent bloke maybe get a 6 pack might make you a little more confident

 

[Staffordshire Bullterrier]

Yeah you seem like a decent bloke maybe get a 6 pack might make you a little more confident

I've tried fitness. Hell, last year i went to a fitness club and signed up for it. It was wayyyy too pricey though and only older people (not my age) went there, so i quit. Then this year, like two months ago, i was following this work-shop (to find a decent job again) and we had to do fitness at least once a week. It was nice, but i just can't push myself enough to go over there again. My interest ain't big enough.

I am however on the lookout for new things, but i dont know what kind of things i could sign up for. I've done some voluntary work earlier this year for homeless people, met a nice girl there...asked her out (via a note) she loved the note, but wasn't sure yet if she wanted to get into this already...eventually i asked it again, and then she said rather not. That she wanted to take things easy with the whole dating thing, cause of past experiences. It's no big deal, and i am glad that i acted on this. And from there on i should have continued my 'search' for a nice girl...but i didn't. Bad decision maybe.

At the end of august i'm gonna try find more voluntary work, maybe work at a dog shelter or something similar. Who knows i might meet a nice lady, i just ain't the type to go out to bars or clubs, i hate the stupid music there, and it's just not my atmosphere .

 

[Nirvana]

I've tried fitness. Hell, last year i went to a fitness club and signed up for it. It was wayyyy too pricey though and only older people (not my age) went there, so i quit. Then this year, like two months ago, i was following this work-shop (to find a decent job again) and we had to do fitness at least once a week. It was nice, but i just can't push myself enough to go over there again. My interest ain't big enough.

I am however on the lookout for new things, but i dont know what kind of things i could sign up for. I've done some voluntary work earlier this year for homeless people, met a nice girl there...asked her out (via a note) she loved the note, but wasn't sure yet if she wanted to get into this already...eventually i asked it again, and then she said rather not. That she wanted to take things easy with the whole dating thing, cause of past experiences. It's no big deal, and i am glad that i acted on this. And from there on i should have continued my 'search' for a nice girl...but i didn't. Bad decision maybe.

At the end of august i'm gonna try find more voluntary work, maybe work at a dog shelter or something similar. Who knows i might meet a nice lady, i just ain't the type to go out to bars or clubs, i hate the stupid music there, and it's just not my atmosphere .

Yeah the girl you meet depends where you meet her

 

[Grand Master S]

Yeah you seem like a decent bloke maybe get a 6 pack might make you a little more confident

I totally thought you were referring to beer and didn't even consider that you meant fitness until the OP replied to you lol






........... I was gonna say it works for me.

 

[Staffordshire Bullterrier]

Maybe i should go back to it, just go look around in town and visit all the fitness clubs, see which ones look nice and all..and then choose one from it. And basically just go once or twice a week. Maybe i should just do that, got nothing to lose or anything. Cause i did notice that each time after fitness earlier this year, i felt good. I felt fit and it definitely gave me a ..how you say....a good feeling i guess.