Anyone with other problems on top of Michael?

[CindyRilla]

Well, for me.. it's really been since mid 2006, but ish REALLY HIT THE FAN on Aug 13 2007 when the dr confirmed my fears (my hubby and family thought I was over reacting but I KNEW something was going terribly wrong) AND I WAS RIGHT. And did my husband and family say they were sorry? hell no.

Finally the dr saw it in one of our twins (this after 40 vaccines by the time they hit 48 months old) and says to my husband and I at their 48 month old check up... (over the year, he was getting more and more worse...and I was the only one really seeing - husband would tell me to shut up..)

The pediatricians exact words were:
"Cameron has characteristics of Autism. Oh! but not full blown Autism"
As if that was to console us!

I looked immediately to my husband and just glared. I WAS RIGHT but I had no clue to what it was!

Needless to say my marriage (and sex life) have taken a HUGE NOSE dive since then. Hubby and I argue every day.. then in October 2007 my dad dies. D@mn I miss him - he was a veteran and was buried just 3 days before Veteran's day. Is it any wonder why I haven't been on the forum in the past much?

Now this year.. my ex of 12 years, not who I married but a guy that I was with for 12 years (8 yrs of that we were engaged) is helping me out alot with my car. My husband and my ex get along great..

My ex even went with us to see my mom for her Birthday back in May.. she loves my husband, but misses my ex alot too.

We've had private small chats (only words- nothing else) We miss each other immensly.. and we both know we should never have let the other one go back in 2000.

My motto lately is "Man makes plans, and God just laughs"

LTD, you are so young.. you just need to break away from her.. let her grow up a bit - if she comes back, REALLY comes back and is ready for a committment with you, then she is worth the trouble. But don't let her drag you along knowing she can come back to you any time of day.

A great quote I gave my daughter a few months ago because she had such a broken heart...(won't bore you the details) but this quote might help you too:

"As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn't supposed to let us down probably will.

You'll have your heart broken, probably more than once, and it's harder every time.

You'll break hearts too, so remember how it felt when someone broke yours.

You'll fight with your best friend and maybe even fall in love with them.

You'll blame a new love for the things an old one did.

You'll cry because time is passing too fast, and you'll eventually lose some one close to you.

So take too many pictures, laugh too much, and love like you've never been hurt because every 60 seconds you spend angry or upset is a minute of happiness you'll never get back."

:yes:

​

 

[Angel]

I say try to forget about her too... She's so young, girls this age don't know what they want and they don't want anything stable... Chances are she'll get bored with that new guy soon too....

As for me... yeah I've got problems, not as bad as other ppl and I try to remind myself this but it still doesn't change how things are...

 

[Marilyn Monroe]

career problems myself.

 

[L.J]

Just want to send everyone a hug :hug:

 

[xrisx]

I'm having one of the worst months in my life.
I went from feeling great about life ( I had a crush on someone, was gonna see Michael for the first time in my life, finally found a study that I love) to feeling horrible about life.
First Michael passes away which crushed me, then my crush seemed pretty much uninterested in me so I had to give that up, and now I'm probably gonna have to find another study ( I was studying to become a teacher) because I didn't pass 1 stupid test ( which I had to make 1 week after Michael died)

I've had nothing but fights with my father the past week to the point that I went looking for other places to stay these past few days.

I swear I've never been more dissapointed and in disbelief about this world and my life.
I just can't understand why everything had to turn around like that out of nowhere
I've been having pains in my heart al week because I can't handle all these things that are thrown my way right now, but I guess it can only get better. At least I sincerely hope so.

 

[L.T.D]

then my crush seemed pretty much uninterested in me so I had to give that up.

Dont give up, just because there not interested now doesnt mean they cant become interested in future.

I miss those days, of just liking a girl I had no history with and chasing her.

This girl who I went out with for a year and a half that ive been talking about. It took me a while to get her to like me, she was trying to get over an ex bf. I just spoke to her casually online for a few months and got along with her really well and just showed her that I could be good for her but without coming across too strong.

Eventually I was spoke to her on the phone till 3 in the morning. The next day she couldnt wait to speak to me again and phoned me in the middle of the day but I had to tell her I couldnt speak at that time. Pretty soon she was chasing me as much I was her and we got together.

We really did have ana amazing relationship, I would go back out with her in an instant. I just wish she still had those feelings for me.

My problem is that if I want something, I dont give up to ive achieved that something. SO at the moment I just want to go all out trying to get her back. But apparently I have to back off, especially since she now has a new bf. It is so hard, and I feel so aggitated.

Im hoping for a miracle and someday she will text me saying she misses me.

 

[LyricalMiracles]

*HUGGS* I'm sorry to hear about your heartache baby, please know I'm here for you and my shoulder is yours if you need it

 

[Scary13]

I have career problems as well. I have been in California for almost a year now because my grandpa had been gravely ill from April 2008 to November 2008. He had been in and out of hospitals and nursing homes, but he has been home since November. I came to California in July to be of support to my grandpa and my grandmother. I also came to California to find a job because I didn't want to go back to Georgia. I have been job searching in California and in Vegas since late October and I have not found one job yet. I have had interviews, but I was unsuccessful. Now, it's been almost a year since I came to California. I have seriously considered going back to Georgia because I feel like I've possibly done all I can and the unemployment rate in California and Vegas are high. Georgia's unemployment rate is bad too, but not as bad. Part of me doesn't want to go back to Georgia because I have issues with my mother. I get along with my mother very well, but in the past years, I've been having trouble trying to save up money because of her. She is not very good with her money and there were many times where she would always need my help. I don't mind helping her at all, but how can I help her if I barely have money or even a leg to stand on? She's done a lot for me in my life and I truly appreciate that, but I still have a life to live for myself. I have been trying to become financially independent for awhile, but I can't do that if my mom asks for money that I really can't afford to lend out. She doesn't seem to understand where I come from. If she could understand, then maybe things could be better. I've tried talking to her in the past, but she doesn't listen. She hears me, but she doesn't listen. There's a difference. That's another reason why I came to California. I wanted to get away from my mother and that life. It was too suffocating for me. I had an idea of what I wanted to do with my life and I was gearing myself toward that, but my mom got in my way. Since I graduated from college with my Bachelor's in 2006, I had trouble job searching as well. I finally found an off and on temp job in April 2007 and that went on into May of 2008. I liked that job, but it wasn't steady. At least it was a start. As I started this job, my mom decides she wants to quit her job to find another. Instead of keeping the job she had until she secured another one, she just quits and decides to depend on me to help her with her financial obligations. It's not just this particular time, it's been several times since I started college almost 9 years ago. Whenever she is in some financial bind, she wants me to rescue her. How can I do that when I am just starting out with my life with no money myself? Everytime I do this for her, I basically have to start all over again. I am so tired of that. I pray that there is a chance where I can finally have a life of my own at a place where I can be left alone. I don't care if it's California, Vegas, or whereever. I just wanted to get away. I barely have money in my name and I don't know what to do. Does anyone have any advice? I have come to a fork in the road and I just don't know which way to go.

 

[Angel]

^ Aww I'm sorry to hear that... I don't really have any advice to offer, it a really hard choice to make when your parents seem to be the kids and the other way around...
My husband has been looking for a job for a year as well with no luck... :-(
Just keep looking and praying and hopefully things will turn around...

 

[mera]

Thats the thing about it. If she had been horrible to me and done horrible things it would be so much easier and id think. Forget her, im moving on.

But she says she still cares about me, not in the way I want her too. But you know what I mean. She was as nice as possible to me breaking up with me and really didnt want to hurt me. In a way I wish she would have been horrible, it would be so much easier.

I think the fact shes 16, shes gotten confused and doesnt know what she wants. I at least thought she would have stayed single for a while, but shes gone basically straight to him :S Makes me think she broke up with me because of him, but shes denied that. I dont know what to believe anymore.

I think im just going to play the field, I wouldnt want a serious relationship again for a while tbh. If she ever does realise she misses me and wants me back (which a lot of people have told me is allways possible) then I guess its my decision at that time if I take her back or not :S

Please know my opinion and advice is all love and not meant to be rude. :better:

In her eyes you are Mr Reliable, you will be there for her no matter what. So, she is playing the field and your sitting around questioning if your good enough for her? What could you have done differently? Come on!

The jealousy on her part is because she thinks she is losing her grip on you and she can't stand that. She wants to be with someone else but have you as backup just in case. You're not a spare tire. It's like baiting, she loves you, then her feelings change, she wants you, then doesn't. Don't you think you deserve better?

I know you guys are young, but the sooner you learn to have self respect and have others respect you, this wouldn't even be weighing so heavily on your mind.

 

[mera]

I have career problems as well. I have been in California for almost a year now because my grandpa had been gravely ill from April 2008 to November 2008. He had been in and out of hospitals and nursing homes, but he has been home since November. I came to California in July to be of support to my grandpa and my grandmother. I also came to California to find a job because I didn't want to go back to Georgia. I have been job searching in California and in Vegas since late October and I have not found one job yet. I have had interviews, but I was unsuccessful. Now, it's been almost a year since I came to California. I have seriously considered going back to Georgia because I feel like I've possibly done all I can and the unemployment rate in California and Vegas are high. Georgia's unemployment rate is bad too, but not as bad. Part of me doesn't want to go back to Georgia because I have issues with my mother. I get along with my mother very well, but in the past years, I've been having trouble trying to save up money because of her. She is not very good with her money and there were many times where she would always need my help. I don't mind helping her at all, but how can I help her if I barely have money or even a leg to stand on? She's done a lot for me in my life and I truly appreciate that, but I still have a life to live for myself. I have been trying to become financially independent for awhile, but I can't do that if my mom asks for money that I really can't afford to lend out. She doesn't seem to understand where I come from. If she could understand, then maybe things could be better. I've tried talking to her in the past, but she doesn't listen. She hears me, but she doesn't listen. There's a difference. That's another reason why I came to California. I wanted to get away from my mother and that life. It was too suffocating for me. I had an idea of what I wanted to do with my life and I was gearing myself toward that, but my mom got in my way. Since I graduated from college with my Bachelor's in 2006, I had trouble job searching as well. I finally found an off and on temp job in April 2007 and that went on into May of 2008. I liked that job, but it wasn't steady. At least it was a start. As I started this job, my mom decides she wants to quit her job to find another. Instead of keeping the job she had until she secured another one, she just quits and decides to depend on me to help her with her financial obligations. It's not just this particular time, it's been several times since I started college almost 9 years ago. Whenever she is in some financial bind, she wants me to rescue her. How can I do that when I am just starting out with my life with no money myself? Everytime I do this for her, I basically have to start all over again. I am so tired of that. I pray that there is a chance where I can finally have a life of my own at a place where I can be left alone. I don't care if it's California, Vegas, or whereever. I just wanted to get away. I barely have money in my name and I don't know what to do. Does anyone have any advice? I have come to a fork in the road and I just don't know which way to go.

I can understand you wanting to show your gratitude to your mother for all she's done for you but at the same time you are getting nowhere. What would she do if you were not there to help her out? When you were out of state what did she do when she was in a bind?

If you continue like this where do you think you're going to be in 2 years? 5 years? 10 years from now? Asking for advice on the mjjcommunity? j/k Just trying to cheer you up.

Seriously, you have to think about your future and let her know you need to save up so you can have a stable future, maybe moving to another state is best because being in the same one is not working. When you tell her you can't help her what does she say?

 

[Scary13]

I can understand you wanting to show your gratitude to your mother for all she's done for you but at the same time you are getting nowhere. What would she do if you were not there to help her out? When you were out of state what did she do when she was in a bind?

If you continue like this where do you think you're going to be in 2 years? 5 years? 10 years from now? Asking for advice on the mjjcommunity? j/k Just trying to cheer you up.

Seriously, you have to think about your future and let her know you need to save up so you can have a stable future, maybe moving to another state is best because being in the same one is not working. When you tell her you can't help her what does she say?

She'd keep asking until I cave or she'll make me feel guilty for not helping no matter how much I explain to her. I can spell it out as clear as day and she still doesn't get it.

 

[mera]

She'd keep asking until I cave or she'll make me feel guilty for not helping no matter how much I explain to her. I can spell it out as clear as day and she still doesn't get it.

Oh yeah, parental guilt. Been there done that. I'm telling you from experience, you just have to stand your ground and say no and not cave in, no matter what. Tell her you don't have it, you spent it all. Why should you feel guilty for your mother not knowing how to manage her money? It's hard because you want to be there for your parents but sometimes parents can take advantage and that's not right.

 

[Earth_Song1]

Hugs to everybody!

 

[L.T.D]

Ive just thought that maybe my ex broke up with me due to the fact im not outgoing enough, and this new guy she is with is.

I dont drink, I dont go out at all really. I lost most of my friends after high school because they all went downhill and I didnt want to follow them.

Ive considered starting drinking to maybe draw her attention back to me. But I dont know, thats changing myself completely. Ive allways sort of liked being an individual...but sometimes its a bit much when everyone around is drinking and going out to parties and stuff and im not.

 

[Jstarr06]

Ive just thought that maybe my ex broke up with me due to the fact im not outgoing enough, and this new guy she is with is.

I dont drink, I dont go out at all really. I lost most of my friends after high school because they all went downhill and I didnt want to follow them.

Ive considered starting drinking to maybe draw her attention back to me. But I dont know, thats changing myself completely. Ive allways sort of liked being an individual...but sometimes its a bit much when everyone around is drinking and going out to parties and stuff and im not.

Please don't do that. Drinking would make the problem worse than better. Go to parties, yes, but don't start drinking believing it's going to impress this girl. I think you should go to places you know you love. Instead of concentrating on your ex, just try concentrating on you. Do things you love, or do new things you always wanted to try. I won't dare just say hurry and find someone else, b/c then you'll always compare that girl to your ex. That's not fair to anyone new or yourself. This won't be easy, but getting back to things YOU love will supersede SOME of the pain from your breakup. 'kay?

 

[L.T.D]

Please don't do that. Drinking would make the problem worse than better. Go to parties, yes, but don't start drinking believing it's going to impress this girl. I think you should go to places you know you love. Instead of concentrating on your ex, just try concentrating on you. Do things you love, or do new things you always wanted to try. I won't dare just say hurry and find someone else, b/c then you'll always compare that girl to your ex. That's not fair to anyone new or yourself. This won't be easy, but getting back to things YOU love will supersede SOME of the pain from your breakup. 'kay?

The drinking represents coming out of my shell and becoming more outgoing. I honestly think that becoming more outgoing would help.

What if this was a big factor in her breaking up with me, and future girls will get bored of me as well and do the same :|

 

[myfavouritewintercoat]

Yep, I have a long term health problem

 

[myfavouritewintercoat]

The drinking represents coming out of my shell and becoming more outgoing. I honestly think that becoming more outgoing would help.

What if this was a big factor in her breaking up with me, and future girls will get bored of me as well and do the same :|

If a girl loves you for the real you then she won't get bored. sending a *hug*

 

[Jstarr06]

The drinking represents coming out of my shell and becoming more outgoing. I honestly think that becoming more outgoing would help.

What if this was a big factor in her breaking up with me, and future girls will get bored of me as well and do the same :|

I can understand you want to be more outgoing. I deal with being painfully shy when it comes to being in the general public, let alone having to face the opposite sex. I just hate for anyone to turn to alcohol believing it would solve your problem of being shy.

If a girl loves you for the real you then she won't get bored. sending a *hug*

Totally agrees

 

[Mugsysam]

Hello everyone,

I am so sorry to read about all of the problems that a lot of you are going through. And I like you have not had the best few months lately. On top of Michael's death I have lost a few people over the last few months that were very dear to me.

In the beginning of June a man who I had become very close with over the last 5 years had a sudden heart attack and died. I came to know him because I am a Vet Tech and he had brought his Maine Coon into my work when it was sick. He was on a fixed income and had been given this cat as a gift from his children to keep him company. He spent every last penny he had on this cat when it was sick but just ran out of money. He signed the cat over to the hospital, and I took over this cat's care. I then called the Breeder where he got this cat from-told her the whole story and she gave him a new Maine Coon kitten free of charge. In the years that passed he would bring in his new cat to be checked up on-and we would visit and exchange pictures of our cats all the time. A year ago he called me at home to tell me that his cancer had returned and that he had re-done his will to leave me his cat. In January he started to get sick and had me come and take his cat. He wanted to know his cat was OK and settled before he got really sick. All he asked was that I sent him a picture of his two cats together. I did more than that. I made a DVD set to music with Elton John's song "Circle of Life" playing to pictures of the two cats together (they are like best friends-like they have always lived together). I did not hear anything for a few weeks after I mailed it-then one day he called me to tell me how much the DVS moved him. He said that he could not talk about it without crying and he did not want me to hear him cry (tough guy thing). A week later he died of a heart attack. Thank God he called me to tell me he loved the video. Thank God. I would have always thought he did not like it and that's why he never called. At the Wake I did not know anyone there other than him, so my fiance went in paid our respect at the casket and then on the way out I signed the Guest Book not with me and my fiance's names-but the names of the cats. Because really-that is why we where there, we were the cat's voice there. He loved those cats like they were his children. And I was honored that he left them to me. I really miss him. He was such a great guy......but I have his cats now as his legacy and to remember him by.....


The week before Michael died my friend's Mother passed away after her battle with cancer. What made this death even harder than it was was the fact that my friend-her son-was murdered in 1991. His murder was never solved-but everyone where I lived knew who did it. And we had to live with seeing this "man" (I uses that term lightly here) walk the streets where I am from while my friend lie in a cemetery. His younger brother is also a very good friend of mine too. The two brothers, two of my older cousins and others were life long friends. My friends death in 1991 was just heart wrenching. There is not a day that goes by that I don't think of my friend, think of what was taken from us that day, think of what could have been had he lived.....

His Mom's Funeral was in the same Church and she was buried with my friend. It was hard to say goodbye to her, she was such as good strong woman. And then of course it brought me back to that awful time 18 years ago when my friend died......I am getting married in three weeks and to think that my friend, and now his Mom won't be there is just to much at times for me.

In the start of August my cousin who I was very close with ended his own life. It was totally a shock to all of us and no one saw it coming. We are all still reeling. I am trying not to even think about my wedding when it comes to his death-more concerned about him family and my own. Very devastated to think on my Wedding Day he won't be there.

Then a little over a week ago a friend of me and my fiance was killed in a car accident. He too was to come to my wedding. His death has not really even sunk into me yet to talk about......

So since the start of June four people that were on my guest list for the Wedding have passed away.....

So yes, with my wedding coming up in three weeks and this is supposed to be the "best time of my life" it has hardly been that. Prior to all of this my Wedding Day was going to be bittersweet because my Dad died four years ago and I am going to miss him so much that day. Now with all of this, and the death of Michael-well I am still looking so forward to my Wedding but I can not wait for this summer to end......

 

[Angel]

^ Wow, I'm sorry to hear about all of this, it really muct have been hard for you....

I've got my own family death, my grandmother passed away this morning....She also had cancer and heart problems so we were expecting her to die but that still doesn't make it any easier...

Actually, it was still Michael's birthday in the Sates when she died... over here it was 30th though...
She also loved Mike and she told me she cried when he died...........
:-(

 

[MJJ_luv1991]

My 37-year-old cousin, who is married with a two-year-old son and another son due in December, has a brain tumor. He had surgery in July to remove it and they removed most of it, but he's undergoing chemo treatment -- oral chemo, to be exact -- seven days on and seven days off. He recently started going back to work, but he cannot drive for six months, if he doesn't have any more seizures. I think about him every day. He lives in California.

Math is a huge struggle for me. I have a learning disability called dyscalculia, which is a math learning disability. It affects some other areas of my life, but not severely. I'm trying to do my math homework and I got so frustrated I almost cried today. I wish I could overcome this struggle completely and that my LD would disappear forever, but I know it won't. I feel so embarrassed that I have this, which prevents me from asking questions in class. I also feel bad when someone tries to explain something to me and I cannot grasp the concept of it, and then they start to get frustrated. It makes me feel so bad and guilty. My mom and my brother's girlfriend (well, I don't know if they're back together yet) tell me that I shouldn't feel bad because I can't help it and it's not my fault.

 

[zizousama]

The drinking represents coming out of my shell and becoming more outgoing. I honestly think that becoming more outgoing would help.

What if this was a big factor in her breaking up with me, and future girls will get bored of me as well and do the same :|

If I may, there are plenty of ways to tell people that you're outgoing. There are ways that would express that far more effectively and significantly than drinking. If you do not want to drink, then simply don't. Go out more, as you said you don't often do, and do variety of things. You'll have to overcome this feeling of not wanting to go out and this is the core of the matter. I mean, what if you start drinking and still not go out? You would be drinking at home. To make you more comfortable, I know a friend who doesn't drink and he's the most outgoing and popular guy you could meet and he hooks up with girls because they are interested in finding out why he doesn't drink. There are many ways to leave a good impression and impress others. You must embrace yourself and characteristics to do that and find what is about you that can impress. Don't tell me nothing!!! Everyone has qualities to impress. They just need to bring them out. Plus, if there wasn't anything interesting about you, how did you get you're ex in the first place? Believe me, show your great qualities that make you special.

 

[zizousama]

^ Wow, I'm sorry to hear about all of this, it really muct have been hard for you....

I've got my own family death, my grandmother passed away this morning....She also had cancer and heart problems so we were expecting her to die but that still doesn't make it any easier...

Actually, it was still Michael's birthday in the Sates when she died... over here it was 30th though...
She also loved Mike and she told me she cried when he died...........
:-(

May she rest in peace and may you find the strength to cope with your loss.