Hey, I know there are several threads with the same content. But in none of those thread I thought I could post my problems, because my problem contains all of those threads, to be honest. I'm 18 by the way.
Hmm, I don't know where to start exactly. From the day I was born I was lonely. I've only had one best friends, I had her for more than 10 years. Then she went to a different (a better) school and she started to deal with wrong people and our friendship broke down. When I was in the 7th grade a 'friend' fooled me big time. I did trust her a lot and I told her everything about me. But after a year, she babbles my secrets, I've told her in trust, to everyone. Other guys started hating me back then. I've got death threats because of the lies she told about me. And everybody believed her. Even the teachers. I couldn't defend myself. The more I tried, the more I was hated. I had to change school after that.
Then I went to a different school, and I hope it would get better. Because I knew I was not a bad person. Well, the guys in my new class they did drink and party a lot. And I'm just not that type of person. They didn't know the meaning of a true friendship. They prefered to have 10 buddys who they could party with, then 1 or 2 good friend/s who they can rely on. I would never understand that. I was searching (well, I still am!) for a true friendship like that one I had when I was a child. The people aren't as trustworthy as they used to were earlier. I'm a very lonely person. I guess that's why I like MJ so much, because he had the same problem with friendships and lies. And of course in love.
I'm not ugly. I've got boys who were really in love with me. I could count them on 10 fingers, to be honest. But I always cut them off. I didn't even have a boyfriend in my whole life. If I'm asked by someone 'Do you have a boyfriend?' I usually say 'No, I never had one.'. They treat me like an alien, for being honest. That's not really fair. I believe in real love. Not just a relationship for 1 or 2 months. No! I'm just not that type of person. I'm really romantic. And nobody seems to understand me. The others just have a relationship to .. I won't say it. But it's the true. Theres no real love, there's just hormons.
Is it really that unusual to be like me? Is it so unnatural that I don't party and that I don't drink any alcohol (really, not even wine) and that I don't smoke or doing any drugs? I was raised like that. Many elder persons (like my mother and my uncle, who I love very much) are proud of me being like that. But the persons in my age and area use to call me strange and boring. And that hurts a lot. I don't know who I should believe.
I'm strange because I like old music like swing and stuff, Frank Sinatra and movies with Gene Kelly and Fred Astaire and Leslie Caron! (I do hear modern music, but I don't have a favorite act at the moment.). I'm strange because I like to dress and make up like they do in the 40's. I'm strange because I don't speak the local accent (I know it sounds stupid but they really said it to me!).
To come to an end. I just feel completly lonely and out of time. I just feel that I don't belong here. I don't know if god had a reason to put me in this place (If yes, I didn't found it out yet). Does anyone feel the same?
Hmm, I don't know where to start exactly. From the day I was born I was lonely. I've only had one best friends, I had her for more than 10 years. Then she went to a different (a better) school and she started to deal with wrong people and our friendship broke down. When I was in the 7th grade a 'friend' fooled me big time. I did trust her a lot and I told her everything about me. But after a year, she babbles my secrets, I've told her in trust, to everyone. Other guys started hating me back then. I've got death threats because of the lies she told about me. And everybody believed her. Even the teachers. I couldn't defend myself. The more I tried, the more I was hated. I had to change school after that.
Then I went to a different school, and I hope it would get better. Because I knew I was not a bad person. Well, the guys in my new class they did drink and party a lot. And I'm just not that type of person. They didn't know the meaning of a true friendship. They prefered to have 10 buddys who they could party with, then 1 or 2 good friend/s who they can rely on. I would never understand that. I was searching (well, I still am!) for a true friendship like that one I had when I was a child. The people aren't as trustworthy as they used to were earlier. I'm a very lonely person. I guess that's why I like MJ so much, because he had the same problem with friendships and lies. And of course in love.
I'm not ugly. I've got boys who were really in love with me. I could count them on 10 fingers, to be honest. But I always cut them off. I didn't even have a boyfriend in my whole life. If I'm asked by someone 'Do you have a boyfriend?' I usually say 'No, I never had one.'. They treat me like an alien, for being honest. That's not really fair. I believe in real love. Not just a relationship for 1 or 2 months. No! I'm just not that type of person. I'm really romantic. And nobody seems to understand me. The others just have a relationship to .. I won't say it. But it's the true. Theres no real love, there's just hormons.
Is it really that unusual to be like me? Is it so unnatural that I don't party and that I don't drink any alcohol (really, not even wine) and that I don't smoke or doing any drugs? I was raised like that. Many elder persons (like my mother and my uncle, who I love very much) are proud of me being like that. But the persons in my age and area use to call me strange and boring. And that hurts a lot. I don't know who I should believe.
I'm strange because I like old music like swing and stuff, Frank Sinatra and movies with Gene Kelly and Fred Astaire and Leslie Caron! (I do hear modern music, but I don't have a favorite act at the moment.). I'm strange because I like to dress and make up like they do in the 40's. I'm strange because I don't speak the local accent (I know it sounds stupid but they really said it to me!).
To come to an end. I just feel completly lonely and out of time. I just feel that I don't belong here. I don't know if god had a reason to put me in this place (If yes, I didn't found it out yet). Does anyone feel the same?
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