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WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME!? Someone say something or hug me..

cyberjackson

cyberjackson

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Hi. I am having a major issue with going about dealing with Michael's passing. I see people rejoicing on TV and dancing to his music. I see people laughing and singing. I'm still crying and can't smile!

I know Michael is in a better place and could no longer feel pain and doesn't have to deal with wicked people anymore. I feel that the world did not deserve Michael Jackson. He gave so much..and gave and gave until his heart stopped. :cry:

I know everyone deals with death in their own ways, but I haven't been able to listen to his music since he died! I'm scared to go on youtube and watch his vids, interviews, etc. I heard Man In The Mirror reach the top charts yesterday, and broke down crying...hard. That song kills me now. I don't have the urge to dance, sing or even smile. I couldn't eat for the first two days. What's wrong with me?:unsure:

I feel like I'm the only person who just can't rejoice at this point. I told a friend yesterday that this world is going to shit. He asked what I meant. I told hime that news is horrid everywhere..kids killing kids, parents beating babies to death, war, rape, murder, planet issues, kidnapping, tears, rage, money and greed, governments being corrupt..etc. I started to cry and couldn't finish my sentance. Then I told him, "then while all of this bad shit is happening...out of all the negative, we had a beautiful man who tried to help the suffering world was snatched from us! He was a man who gave people hope, joy, and love." No matter how tight we tried to hold on, he was taken away, and the glow of everything went away with Michael. The world is becoming a scarier and darker place. He was and still is an angel, he was more than music. His poor heart just gave out. I am sorry if I am rambling on, and I am speaking out of pure, raw emotions.:sorry: I need to shout and cry and scream as loud as I can. Is something wrong with me?! Please fans write me back with comfort or words of wisdom..what's helping you fans cope?

I am hoping that being with fans at the O2 on the 13th for the mass vigil will help me. I hope I get the that glow back inside, and I have lost my innerchild...I think she ran away looking for Michael's spirit or just ran away to hide. I need to find her again and my joy for Michael.:boohoo

God I feel so lost.
 
((Big hugs)) concentrate on accepting what has happened ...you are not alone...I too cannot bare to listen to his music...Man In the Mirror is number one and I don't think I want to listen to it or the music charts right now. I can't sing dance or rejoice...im just giving into what Im feeling and eventually we will come out of it. be strong...we are all here for you.
 
You aren't alone in feeling like this.

It is all part of grief. That we are grieving Michael like we knew him shows how he touched us. We did know him. In a way that was his mission, to get his message to the world, even though parts of the world didn't have the intelligence to listen. But they don't matter. He succeeded.

You will celebrate Michael in time. Don't ask questions of what you're feeling. Respect your emotions. Recognize them, and recognize that it's okay to feel them. Even if you feel like you can't go on, understand WHY you feel like that but in NO WAY ATTEMPT TO TAKE YOUR LIFE. Please know this is all part of human emotion - even the strongest feel like they can't go on sometimes. But they know it's part of human emotion, part of the way we work. And they know we have a way of fighting through difficult times - just like Michael fought.

So, accept what you're feeling. In time it will pass. Just remember that you understood and loved Michael, and that is the greatest gift you can give to him.
 
whew cyberjackson (HUGS) you tight. there is nothing at all wrong with what you're feeling. even the things you're saying about this world i feel Michael would hug you himself and tell you how on the mark you are. his light still shines even through your grief. your innerchild is grieving too. she will come back out when she is ready. and you don't have to do anything you're not ready for. those who rejoice do so cause they know it is how to heal and to move from grief to being able to help Michael continue to send his messages out. you will get there. some arrive faster than others, but you will join them too. try to relax as much as you can. i think the non-eating thing was pretty universal. happened to me and everyone else i've spoken with. must be part of the grieving. i ate first foods yesterday. and i'm still listening to that voice in my head that's been with me forever, and it's telling me everything is gonna be alright.

when you feel better, you can pick up the torch and you can start to help Michael with the things here that through his life and music he laid on your heart. and as you start to help in small ways, and maybe who knows? big ways... he is watching you from Heaven and saying Praise God and to you, thank you.

sends you love and healing energy. just be kind to yourself. that's all he would ask from you right now. (((HUGS))) you tight.
 
I understand this feeling. I feel much the same and have been avoiding london as a result. I will go there later this week but right now, im pushing it all down deep, not letting it out. I will know when the right time and place is, but right now.... im afraid to start crying because I wont stop.
 
^ no, you're not alone

this is the hardest thing I've ever had to deal with, ever

the saving grace is I feel I had Michael to show me how its done

He's lost so many that he loved with such a passion.

Somehow he found a way to go on.

I haven't played any of my favorite songs.

I can't yet confront hearing his voice knowing he's not ..

I just can't yet.

Michael, my heart will go on and on ...
 
you're far from alone. I cried all day yesterday. Today will be another. I sing along sometimes, but with tears in my eyes. I'm sad. So sad that at times I scare myself. I'm hurting. I'm with you.
 
There's nothing wrong with you, you're just in grief. I wish I could be there to give you a warm hug. Since I can't I'm sending you my warmest thoughts and loads of love. *(*(*HUGS*)*)*
I urge you to take care of yourself the best way you can. Eating may seem hard or even impossible, but you should try anyway. Your mind can't get better if your body gets weaker.. We're here for you, honey. Keep writing your thoughts here if it helps at all, we will listen and do our best to comfort you. We understand what you're going thru.
You can PM me if you want to.
 
i feel the same guys. i cannot listen to his music either. but God i miss it so much!!! but i am even scared to touch it.
i wish i had time to grieve, to reflect, to calm down. i only don't know what to do. i am a tutor in a college and my colleagues think i am an idiot. but i'm not going to work crying or anything. i'm just not being happy, may be not smiling happily as it's requested from us tutors. they have already told me off for that. and they will even arranged a special talk with me tomorrow morning because when my students were doing some work, i went off the class as i didnt feel well and was away for 5-10 minutes to recover my breath. somebody complained. telling them i grieve for Michael doesnt make sense - it's like speaking Japanese to them. but making myself smile and be happy is physically impossible. i dont know what to do. sorry now i wrote down my own problems.
 
**CRYING** YOU GUYS... I don't know what to say. I THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH. I need to get away from my comp for a bit and the tv. I need to compose myself. There's so much I want to say to each of you, I can't stop crying! I feel I don't have closure, so I am so.. WE NEED CLOSURE TO WHY AND HOW! THIS F*CKING HURTS! I'm really freaking out right now!! I'll get back to each of you in a minute...MICHAEL COME BACK!!!!!
 
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