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What should I do?

jayjackson

jayjackson

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Hello all compassionate fellow fans :happy:

I'm here because I want to discuss something very relevant in my life, and the people Im surrounding.

I've always been a very intolerant and sensitive person, and seen everything from all perspectives. And I've always been very open about my own opinions and attitudes. However, this has led to conflict in my school and with my "friends".

As I said before I am very sensitive, and I have always wanted to help people. I've done a lot for human rights, and despite my young age, I am very politically constructed. My friends think it is too "geeky" and they can't seem to understand my thinking. My mother has always said that I must follow my heart, since I've talked to her about this several times.

I just won't be seen like this geeky type more, and I don't understand that they can not respect or understand my choices? I am tired of being known as "her who want to save the world" - and don't get me wrong, I am proud of the things that I do and have done, and I WILL continue to be as helpful, sweet and thoughtful as I in the past. But it's just hard when you don't have your friends' support.

So what should I do, what is your opinion of all this?
 
true friends are suppose to respect your decisions...I don't see anything wrong with wanting to help out or getting involved in this type of projects
I assume you're pretty young...well in high school and college there's this idea of being "cool" :smilerolleyes:and by keeping your modesty and trying to help out people you threaten the "coolness" they're trying to project - that's why they treat you like a geek
 
snowhite said:
true friends are suppose to respect your decisions...I don't see anything wrong with wanting to help out or getting involved in this type of projects
I assume you're pretty young...well in high school and college there's this idea of being "cool" :smilerolleyes:and by keeping your modesty and trying to help out people you threaten the "coolness" they're trying to project - that's why they treat you like a geek
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i totally agree true friends who u really trust are supposed to respect ur decisions on everything
they are also supposed to be there for u when u need them if they cant do that sorry but they aint
being truthful or faithful to you they are just using u to get ur trust they should also respect how your feeling
from day to day
 
You sound very much like my oldest daughter who is going through this exact same thing right now. She has had to part ways with her long time friends because their morals are different than hers and she values being how she is and doesn't like feeling inferior or being made to feel inferior because of her moral choices. It was totally her choice to make. I didn't interfere. She has found some friends who are much like she is now, and is much happier for it. She always tried to be the good influence but sometimes people don't want to chose the good, they want to be bad. She attends a youth group which has been wonderful for her. It allows her to be herself and feel good about it and surrounds herself with people who are also trying to be the people God hopes them to be. I am really proud of her. She is mature beyond her years and sees that partying and having boyfriends too early is not the way to happiness. So even if her friends see her as a geek, or her old friends.. she is ok with that now because she is being herself. She doesn't see herself as perfect and knows her faults as well, but doesn't want to go against what she believes in. I think that is the most important thing and it may sound cliche but be true to yourself. It is so true. Or you won't be happy.

I really hope she doesn't mind me sharing what I've shared, but I know she would understand your situation.
 
well I hope 'intolerant' is a typo in your post jayjackson.

It's just normal that friendships do go different ways in life when ppl decide about their priorities.
You got good advices here to stay true with yourself and look what it really is you want and then go for it.
Then again take your morals and your goals as exactly that and never act as if others choices are wrong or somewhat lower. Choices have to be made for personal reasons. Yours are yours hopefully best for you and theirs are theirs hopefully best for them... we always owe eachother respect. If a friend is not able to give it, they're no friends.
I think it's also normal for young ppl to somehow see themselves as the center of the world and the world has to go around to it... not necessarily valid for you, but it was for me very much so in a certain age lol and probably that's valid for most young ppl.
This will come into a more real perspective later again.
There was a time many of my friends have chosen to marry and have kids while I went for my career, went to school and University etc... it is important that you focus on yourself and your future. There were times these friends and me did go different ways. But with some of them I'm back again.
Just care about your choices... cuz you'll get certain chances maybe only once in a lifetime... also about friendship you know... think about everything and stay true with yourself... cuz just know one day you will look back and I hope it will make you happy and thankfull in that moment.
 
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Thank you for all your advices.
About the friendship, I think you're very right in saying that they really aren't true friends. True friends are there for you, supporting your goals and choises.

I've talked to my mother about moving to another school, so I can get some friends who will suit me better, and she thinks it sounds like a great idea.
But I am even starting to doubt, because I am afraid that it won't get better in any way..
But I am sure that it would be good for me to make a fresh new start a whole new place!
 
you will run into this kind of people everywhere you go you don't always change your life by changing places you just need to know how to make the difference between people. I mean you can go to a new school now but I'm just saying in general. have you tried to befriend other "geeks" like yourself? :D
 
Jay, Im a bit like that too...and from experience I tell you...if they arent respecting and supporting u, they are not true friends, they are just a waste of time for u...You should be very proud of who u are and ur morals and values. If they dont see ur worth being respected and supported, they are not worth ur friendship as well.
If u think u will feel better leaving ur current school, do it. But u will encounter other people like that throughout ur life and u'll have to know how to deal with them.
DONT EVER CHANGE urself, just because people think u cant change the world, cause u can - in your own way.


PS: I had people like that in my life that I used to call friends...and I parted from them, although some keep coming back, I push them away, cause I tell you: I dont miss being desrespected, not even a tad bit....
 
all kids/teenagers want to change to new schools..i went through that as well when i was growing out of being friends with some of my childhood friends..and i felt alone when i was transitioning trying to make a new friend. im also quite sensitive so it was real hard to get through a school day. i wanted to escape somewhere else with new people. i had it all thought out in my head that i wanted to transfer to a new school. it never happened though..but if there is a place that you can go..i guess why not? theres more than one school in a lot of communities. so if you can chose why not. more new kids to meet. but as the two others above me have said..theres folks like that everywhere. so i would think about it harder.

also maybe think of some others in school you occasionally say hi too.. and maybe start hanging with them instead and see what happens. i did that and got a good friend out of it. but tell your friends in all seriousness not joking around that it hurts when they say certain things. friends are supposed to be there to talk to but also support the things you do. and if you say you want to do something..they should say go for it! and leave it at that. show them the things you do and explain it more if you havent..and tell them this is not whats ''cool or uncool''. this is the world and this is what you do if you are a good person.

hope things work out for you:better:
 
hilliver said:
Be yourself my love and to hell with what so called friends think, true friends respect you even when they don't agree.
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Absolutely. I am studying abroad this year as part of my course, and i don't feel i can be myself around me new friends, as am already isolated it seems...I have decided to make it my new years' resolution to not hide away and be outgoing and friendly, and just get stuck in and make some new friends with people who respect me for me! :)
 
exactly be yourself and if ppl dont like you for that then its their loss not your's i truly believe that now as its happened to me many time's before and probably will happen to me again in the future as i cant tell what
might happen in the distant future with friend's far and wide on and offline
 
..........Be yourself! Lets those so called friends just be,they aint worth you if they cant accept you of what you are! :bighug:
 
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